₦airaland Forum

Drink or sleep driving is a storm of life?

Ivy league graduate says this. Lol.

He will come here and post as if he doesn't have certain types of people he wouldn't date, too. Yet another "man" feeling too entitled to relationships with all women.

Some making noise here can't date someone who wears an anklet or has a tongue ring, but he will expect every girl to accept him just because he wants to date her.

You didn't tell us if her father is not poor that she must take you as you are. Some of you want someone daughter to join you in your type of life when her father didn't do that to her. Just come online and act as if you truly love her and, bingo, they (she's broke crew) will come out to degrade her person without even knowing her.

Male reasoning on this forum is very entitled and very shallow/pathetic. You are not entitled to be accepted by every girl you ask out or talk with. And every girl you meet is not broke as you have convinced yourselves, once she doesn't want you.

Allow women to make their choices without acting as if you are God and she dare not reject you. Whatever her reason, it is valid. The one-sided endless stories from males is already stale.

You are always the perfect guys they don't want because they are broke. You are never the shallow minded ones. The problem is never you. You are always very rich. Give it a rest already.

Klass99:
Second text in bold made me laugh. You put images in my head with your reference to 6 and 9, I couldn't pass up an opportunity to tease and yab you

At the first bolded, surprisingly I haven't been devastated or traumatised by any life events. I just take it in strides and keep grinding. When I heard about my ex, my first thought was I hope I see him again (as a believer in Christ Jesus) My second thought was about how we first met, the memory made me smile, then I laughed out loud recalling our conversation. He was a good man, I have nothing but fond thoughts plus pleasant memories of him and our time together.

On this issue of children, I wish people saddled with unwanted pregnancies would let those who want children adopt them. It's a win win situation for all parties concerned, but some fools have said I am encouraging human trafficking. How they think and reason on this side of the divide baffles me.

Don't worry, teasing game on. You haven't forgotten that time This your Christian 6-9 mind, I will not only make you think it always, but you will begin to confess those vibes.

The passing of an ex would be traumatizing. I am thoughtful of the passing of a lady I lived close to in university. And I did not even know her at a deep level. She died during child birth. I think about her sometimes. She was too happy to have passed on, so young and energetic, so happy to be pregnant. She's only a memory now. I haven't thought of meeting her again. Perhaps you aren't traumatized because you see death as a parting, to meet again. Or you have been hardened by enough of it.

Ideally people should adopt those children. But the child adoption process seems notorious for time wasting/being tedious. Not to mention religious/moral people who have objections to everything and say IVF is devilish etc. How can it be child trafficking when someone desperately wants to love and care for these abandoned children? Provided the child isn't stolen, their parents aren't tricked and won't be maltreated, it's not trafficking.

Premiumwriter:
you are talking out of context bro.

No one says money is the all for marriage but in this particular we are referring to money

No one said it, but you said it (money).

It may be out of context to you, but it is a fact that too many men see money as the reason to get married. They are looking for who to spend money on, not who to spend a lifetime with.

Romanoff:
It's so distasteful when women call themselves "bitches".

Irritating is seeing girls of 17-25 referring to themselves as that. Maybe they're trying to normalize the usual insult they get from men by devaluing its "power". Even on this forum, you'll notice that angry involuntary celibates and men of easy virtue refer to every perceived female as a bitch.

Premiumwriter:
There's this skewed and lopsided narrative that men are scared of successful women by feminists mostly because they feel that:

1. Successful women takes away a man's previledge

2. Men have lower esteem and so are easily intimidated by ambitious women

3. Men will no longer be able to maltreat such women.

First of all, men are never scared of successful women (though some may be as there's always an EXCEPTION IN EVERY SOCIAL STATISTICS).

But most men are not. Rather it's a failure to understand simple basic principles of the dating process that made most women cling to this idea of men being intimated by successful women.

When a man is fit for marriage i.e the man has made all the money he wants (successful) and feels it is the right time for him to settle down, he goes on a hunt, he looks for the kind of woman he wants, one that fits his description of a good wife and marries her.

It doesn't matter if she is poor or rich, if she is submissive or not. He made his choice, chases that woman up and down until she agrees to his terms of marriage which sometimes can mean the woman becoming a house wife.

Now when a woman is successful and WITH US ALL BEING EQUAL, she never does what a man will do, instead she still want a man to chase her, marry her and then HE SHOULD AGREE TO HER TERMS.

This takes away all the power from the man and still expect him to carry out his responsibility.

A man by nature is a provider and as such will always try to gather his resources before looking for a woman that will agree to his terms of building a home.

If a woman will rather be the provider or the man in the relationship, then she must be prepared to wear that trouser all the way. She has the resources, it's up to her to go out there, pick a man, toast him and pay his groom price and then, the man is for the woman and not the woman for the man.

Most women today are not ambitious and do not seek to be ambitious and that makes the dating pool of submissive women large for men with resources to choose from.

This in turn diminishes the available men for women who are ambitious. For one, a man will rather be the man in his relationship than take the role of a woman.

It's not low self esteem, it's being what he is, a man. If a woman would rather take that role from him, then it's up to her to convince the man to stay in the relationship just as men convince women to remain in relationships.

So to sum it up, when a man is successful he goes with confidence to toast the kind of woman he wants. It's not low self esteem if he finds a submissive woman more tasty.

But a successful woman with all her resources still want a man with nothing to choose her, forgetting that in the dating pool and practically everywhere else, beggars are never choosers.

So, stop with the lopsided arguments.

@bolded: the skewed fallacy that has misled a lot of unprepared men into marriage.

A man isn't ready for marriage when or because he has money and wants to keep a woman. He is only ready for marriage when he has worked on his mind, changed his demanding and impossible ways of thinking, is ready to respect and be respected, and has decided not to be overbearing, to understand what leadership is about without misunderstanding control and true leadership, and is ready to sacrifice unconditionally for the well-being of his family and take on the role of a servant leader. Any man who looks for a way out of such things and is looking for marriage is a failure at it already.

That fallacy about success and money is why so many empty men who cannot sustain a relationship and have no endearing qualities fall back on having a lot of money end up destroying marriage, because money is a cover for so many lacking things and a marriage that will fail woefully.

Money will not guarantee the success of any family or relationship. Neither will looking for a woman to control while he is uncontrollable and evil himself.

Klass99:
You make a valid and thought provoking point.

Just this morning I heard Rita's husband passed away after 16 years of marriage together without a child (Rita is an acquaintance) They wanted children but couldn't have them. I thought, why not just adopt?

An ex boyfriend and the first man to ever propose marriage to me also passed away late last year. I didn't know about it till last week, he died without children but he always wanted to have them too and was into the whole marriage, kids and family life thing.

He got married but his classmate said it wasn't a good marriage, him and wifey were estranged when he passed. It took 4 days for people to notice his absence at work and his body to be discovered at home. My heart ached on hearing that he passed without ever getting the things he wanted (a good marriage and kids)

I know single people who died in the Bellview air crash some years ago, they probably wanted ABC and XYZ too, but never got it. If you are alive and not where you want to be, but you are mostly happy many days of the year, I like to think you are living a fulfilled life. Because fulfillment, simply put is happiness.



On a lighter note, what does this even mean? 6 and 9 are numbers, when you put them together you get 69 . When I say you are an ashawo now, no follow me argue.

You have seen heart-rending things, for sure. Makes one wonder what life is really all about.

People who want children remain barren. People who will abuse and dump the children in the bin will get them, maybe even one each year.
People who live frivolously will get money, while those who spend wisely will never see such amounts.
Some will cherish being married and never get to be. Others would love to go to the university but will never get to attend a lecture in their life time. Some would say a sadist is controlling things. In the end nobody can control what will happen to them as accurately as their dreams for themselves are made.

Humans live trying to get fulfillment, to enjoy happiness and yet it seems elusive. The only way is to enjoy every moment of happiness no matter how short-lived and how rare.

If people expect a short fulfilled life, what if there's an unending afterlife of suffering ahead (if it exists)? It seems humans never get what they really want. If they expect a long one, what if it's really unfulfilled and full of unachieved dreams?

The 6 and 9 could be 15 , but it's an image/idea that's been circulating in which someone standing and looking at the number on the floor is seeing a 6, but the person standing opposite them is seeing a 9. If only someone could help with that image. Not the type you're wanting to make me post...

motymop:
That is not true. The op knows he didn't pay 50k for green africa flight to his destination

This is the price of green africa ticket lagos to abuja for the 3rd of march.

Infact green Africa has different price for different customers.

You pay less if you have a bag that weighs 7kg or less but pay more if your bag weigh more than 7kg.

You don't know your airlines if you don't know who he's flying.

MoneyGoDrop:
I'm personally not a fan of old age because i have seen it mess with people. I will choose a short successful life over an unfulfilled one.

And who is to tell if you will ever get what you want?

That's the mystery of life. That man probably never dreamed of or wanted to live an unfulfilled life, let alone for that long. Yet that's what he got.

Magnoliaa:
True. I think it *could* be (his goal). I was looking at it from the angle of his initial goal being a greener pasture and material wealth, etc.

So while he didn't succeed in that, his aim might have shifted and he would would have come to value new things. Like familial ties and so.



Just to get us thinking, Iya. Just to get us thinking.

You've just mentioned something important about this fulfillment of a thing: over time — with experience— goals change.

Going by his initial goal he is unfulfilled. Living long would only mean he's actually miserable. But I can't see him as not being fulfilled for some reason.

Fulfillment stems from what each person sees as success. And success is different things, if we aren't forced by societal expectations. In the past I considered myself a success being able to read a novel a day. That was the ultimate to me and I felt fulfilled. But growing up I realized that that was not considered success. I had to become the success that people spoke about. Nowadays I'm back to what I believe success is. It has changed though.

People shouldn't judge others by societal expectations ideally, because there's no fulfillment in life other than being happy doing whatever you want to do.

Magnoliaa:
The story of the Kenyan man who returned home after laboring in vain for 42 years got me thinking, and especially when someone made a comment saying he returned home alive, at least.

For a second, I thought what's the gain? But then I know life can be worth celebrating, inspite of anything - or not? Then a question came to me: would you rather die now, and die 'happy' if you could achieve everything you desire?

And sure, 'success' is open to our various definitions of it... So, is the long life itself success? Just living simple everyday, eating, drinking, not aspiring for more, not seeing things, not meeting people, for as long as you do it for a stretch of time?

I don't attempt to make this an either/or scenario, but I just had to phrase it that way for the purpose of the topic and your contributions. They'll be greatly appreciated.

So what do you think?

Fulfillment.

Unfulfillment is the primary cause of depression and suicide.

We can't say the old man is unfulfilled due to his losing everything and returning to his Homeland broke, because meeting his son and just returning home is a huge relief and form of peace to him. It had had always been his goal. Guess that's a long and fulfilled life from his side.

Who really knows. 6 and 9.

Age shaming.

Or what do we call the constant scrutiny of African football players? Even the refugees from the middle East were taken at face value when 45 year old men said they were teenagers.

Serendip:
BJ?

Yes. He is working. Or not?

BJ is working

But how is it impossible to leave somewhere you don't want to be in the free world? Had to stop reading at that point. Are these people who called you for the interview some sort of gun-toting giants who can hold fully grown adults down with words or what?

odinson1:
Once again,i Have without doubt,reasons to believe that You women really don't have brains in your heads.

Prove your point and stop looking for reasons to be abused. Or are you trying to say that men don't have brains in their heads when they make such posts?

This goes to show that a lady can love you and still have sex with another man. She will always come back to you. This shows that she's a good woman and knows her own man.

A real woman can have sex without emotions. Just like every polygamous man does, but she knows who she really loves.

But you're to desperate, Maureen. He will use that against you. It's just a fling, you didn't impregnate someone else.

He needs to learn forgiveness, because he isn't a saint. He should show you some attention, as he wouldn't like to be ignored too. When a man fails in his role, he makes a woman cheat. No perfect woman out there so he should make up with you.

airsaylongcome:
Don't worry, u will not only hear from me soon. U will hearing from me too soon. You forgot to add "Am" in front of the hoping, "Am hoping to hear..."

You see that mentoring, I don't have issues with it. In fact I kind of like it to be able to guide someone on their path and watch them fly. Keyword being "guide"...90% of the people that say they need mentoring are really looking for am excuse for someone to invest time, effort and energy training them for free. They come back to you with the slightest challenge they face when that challenge is what you wanted them to overcome when you give them a task

School of tough love. That point about mentoring is true. People want you to solve their problems, they don't want to work on them.

Good luck in your search though.

Hot, humid, smelly bank and a transaction that exceeded a week.

airsaylongcome:
Looool...me I know that na! To avoid "please can I email you?" If na you nko?

In other news, I'm looking for someone to integrate an Inventory Management System with an eCommerce system. Both systems already exist. I'm looking for integration not "I can build it.from scratch"

Please can I email you? I needs a mentor and maybe if you can spare like $1.000.000? I know is much to ask. But I know God will touch your heart. Av actually been praying to meet your rare breed. And, also, if you can pay my annual sub for that inventory management system, I would be so grateful sir. Hoping to hear from you soon. Thanks.

Offpoint1:

Don't know why I find the old woman funny

The way she comes close to see what she's doing is funny. She's likely lonely and sad. The original cat fight.

Freestainworld:
Taking care of the old is not easy, I have a Grandma who is 108yrs and still looking strong, but the only problem is that she will sleep in all the rooms in the house, when you confront her, she will tell you that her enemies want to kill her the other place she slept last night, and she can quarrel like hell, but we the grandchildren always end up laughing at her behaviour, at a time, she stopped sleeping in our own house, and told us that our neighbours house was safer, infact the whole neighbourhood know knows her, each time they come around, they start laughing, that is old age for you.

Lol.

What's wrong with her sleeping in all the rooms? Please, allow her to. She sounds like a funny person.

I don't think that the old woman in the video is racist the way the title portrays it. She's likely old and suffering mental illness. She actually looks lonely and sad.

airsaylongcome:
I really should write less I know!

And that core remains irrespective of the language. In fact you can and should learn all of that using pseudocode rather than a specific language in my opinion.

Haha..I don't know if it's too much testosterone or too much rush-of-blood-to-the-head

Even if you type the truth from now till tomorrow, this is the Twitter age where everyone has an opinion, Wikipedia is their PhD and they know everything.

New blood believe they are better at this and know more, so let's debate it for the heck of it. With testosterone in the mix.

The core language would be good. But that's probably why we have core structures.

By the way, some of those colleagues could be the posters themselves. Anonymous forum tricks.

airsaylongcome:
I am not saying the curriculum abroad has not evolved. It's the same with every field of study in Nigeria. Would you say because Nigerian Doctors study anatomy with cadavers, they are less proficient than their colleagues who studied the same anatomy with state of the art 3D printed ones? Does the underlying concepts in anatomy change whether you use an aged human cadaver or a very advanced 3D one? No. It's the same way the underlying principles of computing don't change whether you use BASIC or Python. I studied Data Structures from Arrays to Linked list to Trees to Graphs in PASCAL. Studied all the search and sort algorithms and their Big O complexity in the same PASCAL. All of that is the fundamental of Computing. The language you study it in is completely irrelevant. As long as you understand the concepts you can replicate them in any language whether old or new. Yes learning it in a new language makes you more suitable for the present market but the reason for a university degree is to know how to learn, unlearn and relearn. A FOR loop is a FOR LOOP whether in QBASIC or in Haskell.

Complaining about "old" languages is like complaining about learning to drive using manual or stick-shift vehicle. Does the fact that most cars today are automatic shift invalidate the principles of driving you learn with a stick shift?

By the way the FORTRAN a lot of you denigrate, do you know it was revised as recently as 2018? Previous revisions where in 2008, 2003, 1995 and 1990? How is a language that was revised and updated in 2018 "outdated"?

I saw a remote opening for someone with demonstrated knowledge of FORTRAN. Do you know the pay per annum? $100,326 - $163,030. Tell me that FORTRAN is dead

Long explanation for simple concept!

It's those basics that are still applicable 20 years later. What one knew then is still what must be known. Same core, different techniques.

Tech threads are full of too many riveted arguments and assumptions. Too much young blood and ego involved. Or shall we say too much testosterone?

EgunMogaji2:
You're a masters candidate?

Shocking you?

jesusjnr2020:
There's a good reason Jesus emphasized that someone lays his treasure not on this Earth but in heaven, because it doesn't end here. In fact, what happens here is negligible compared to what happens after this world ends, hence Jesus saying "what shall a man profit is he gains the whole world but loses his own soul," because every thing one gains here would count for nothing, if one doesn't make it at the end.

It's all about where one ends up and that God's priority for His own, hence it's essential that God's own also imbibe a similar orientation for them to better understand the way God does His things.

So many questions, I don't have all the answers, but I know that God is more than enough for those who truly serve and able to see them through it all to the day of His great reward.

Thanks and God bless you too.

Nobody can explain it.

airsaylongcome:
I've given up on kneels vs knees. The one I'm about to give up is "I base" as in "I base in Abuja" if I hear it two more times again I'm done.

You'll be done then. Bet you will see it once below, and once more from a based person.

I hate that I base(d) and off the... though.

Kobojunkie:
I can't believe in the year 2022, with all the information right at our very fingertips for the given, you ignorantly cling to fables/myths your ancestors fed to your fathers and their fathers before them in order to delude and manipulate them?

Oivey!

Truly, oy vey!

They will go to school, learn secondary school biology if not privileged to attend a university, and still come out as nalendi of the first age.

Who did this to them?

jesusjnr2020:
God doesn't favour evil doers...

The instance of Solomon illustrates the extent to which God can favor the righteous and those who do right, because He made Solomon have no equal just like He did Job, but it also suggest why God often allows His own to suffer a times, because you can see how easily he consequently fell and lost his way afterwards. So God's priority is to ensure that such doesn't befall His own, but that they make it at the end, so He'd do whatever He deems necessary to achieve that result. They may not understand it during the painful process, but at the end they'd appreciate Him for it because they'd see why He did what He did. That it was for love.

Even His Son couldn't understand why at some point, the disciples couldn't understand why at some point, I myself couldn't understand why at some point, but at the end we all saw the result was worth more than the painful experience, and we're all grateful to God for loving us that much to help us even when we couldn't understand and complained.

That's why I don't blame some who express such concerns, but what i advice is that they ensure that they did so from within God's covering, not outside, so that no matter how difficult it was, God would see them thru it all, otherwise they'd never get to know why but end up losing out completely and only have themselves to blame not someone else, because God doesn't cater to those outside. Only those within.

You have spoken well on that.

Eli, Eli lama sabachthani? Nevertheless, let your will be done.

Yet the Bible is filled with stories of blessed even favored evildoers and suffering followers. And God was behind them all. What is the motivation to follow God when all that lies ahead of you will be untold suffering from him? To prove what point?

God bless you.

airsaylongcome:
Remember that people planning to migrate would need to work in a proper professional setting to sustain themselves abroad. That means they would need to know how to write proper professional emails that can be easily understood by others. I have seen all manner of rubbish written by people from a our climes who claim to have a good grasp of English because they were educated in pseudo-English (Nigerian English).

The most horrible I have seen is:

"Are my to inform him of the meeting?"
"I didn't know we where to make a reservation"

And the really outright ugly.

"Please, kindly close the door".

While I'm not sure if this last example is grammatically incorrect, the word "kindly" is so antiquated in modern British and American English that Americans now associate any communication that includes "kindly" as potential fraud.

We NEED to be examined in both written and spoken English

I'm not by this insinuating that I am flawless in my use of English o. Heck I'm prone to mistakes in the language. And I am very open to being examined on it either through IELTS or any other test of English.

Don't mind me. I have my own "kolo" issues

Are my to take these you're submission serious?

I'll admit to that kindly being one of my peeves. And that people need to quit the antiquated letter writing indentations etc.

Overall, I think Nigerians do well with grovelling rubber stamped emails/letters. That is letters that don't need creativity and are constantly humbly requesting this or that. The main problem is that they never pay attention to what they are being taught. They all follow one pattern, good or bad. If you send in something, you see everyone copying it. I still think they aren't that bad they need IELTS. Just spoken tests. They can copy the right way to do mail when they get in.

However...

Isn't it in Nigeria that people write kneels instead of knees with such boldness? "A advice"? I'm not a grammar Nazi, so I'm going to keep shut on it... But I feel it's the pronunciation that causes that problem.

We are all bound to make mistakes, though. Even native speakers, otherwise English classes would've had much better grades. Plus I feel I'm that terrible at foreign languages.

It isn't kolo issues. It's observations on happenings in the language sphere.