₦airaland Forum

Twistaray:
You are just a nuisance and an unrepentant troll.

Do you follow the person, too? Otherwise, why is the matter of such import to you and the rest of them on previous pages?

There's no amount of you that will make me believe this thread is innocent. You're the nuisance quoting unbidden, not me.

Octopusssy:
Give it a rest already. You are derailing. Don't you see you are being ignored?!

@bolded sounds like an unheeded mantra on this thread

You think I'm being ignored? But you're a follower so you crew know that already.

May mad, incensed, daft and raving lunatics never run dry on the forum.

I thought I was trying to control this person and prevent them from making posts. Now it's a derailing matter.

How do you expect me to apologize to you for misunderstanding you when I'm banned, naptu2?

CuriousStudent:
Surprising how the nairaland boys that have ran campaigns and degraded single mothers and women with children ( evidenced with the fictitious tales aimed to degrade and warn men about dating women with children) are suddenly blaming a woman for not loving a child that isn't hers.

As though African women have not been told to drop their children from previous union with their relatives before marrying a new man.

Men refusing to settle for less by marrying women with kids/ asking such women to drop the kids with her relative's=normal

Women wanting men to drop their kids from previous marriage with his relatives= evil women/Cinderella-evil step mother syndrome

It's a curious case and surprising, indeed. The reality is quite different for them.

Anything women do will be seen as manipulative and evil. Watch the campaign to make the new wife out as evils incarnate, meanwhile this is a man who wanted to toss his child on relatives so he could have at this woman. This is a man who would reject another man's child as a matter of fact.

These boys are on a social experiment designed to make men hate and distrust women, due to some teachings they've undergone in their camps. Their aim is to generate topics to sway the thinking of a couple of sheep and make the sheep become part of their twisted world.

The truth is that they can't do without women, even old women with 7 children from 7 different men. They would be honored to be that 8th man. For most, they are still young and in denial. They will fall in line later on.

Soylife:
Parents that are not mentally equipped don't have business raising children. If a father or mother has mental health issues that is affecting their behaviour let them seek solution. An innocent kid should not suffer from issues affecting the mother. If the mother faced bad upbringing,she should seek help. There is no excuse here for the mother,she purposely causes rifts in the family,do you know this can cause permanent discord between two siblings. I have seen things like this happen. She should be the one bonding them not separating them.
If I should follow your logic,if the op should become a bad mum tomorrow she should be excused because she had a bad upbringing and people should instead show empathy towards her.
To the op,protect your mental health,if you think you have been affected by your mum's toxicity visit a psychologist

Whether equipped to or not, they will go ahead to have children because that's what society demands. Being damaged doesn't mean they don't have desires like everyone else. Their problem is that they can't manage it or help themselves.

How do you think bad parents come to be? How do you think abusers come to be? Most of them grew up in such environments and become the monster of their childhood. His mother is a hurt person hurting people in return.

Some of these problems are health related issues, too.

Cutting them off, blocking them, ignoring them will not help either party. It's a temporary fix and only results in needless death. The living party will continue to live in bondage.

Comelysync:
am not trying to shut you up, I just encouraged you to do your own post that are true with facts like him.
You said more than one person observing.. Oh well that moniker has been on this platform for almost 10 years now, why now are your guys making your observations, what changed, plus am also aware one person can be ten people on this platform with different moniker.. That's not difficult to do.

Do yours leave him alone, you don't need to post what you did on his thread if you have nothing to contribute to the topic at hand, because your earlier post had nothing to do with someone slapping someone because he was not allowed to touch a married woman breast, if it's your wife another man try that with, will you be happy? If that happened up North the man is as good as dead. Face the message not the messenger.

How am I trying to shut him up or dictate what he should post? He says that's what I'm trying to do, and you're echoing it, but how? Has anyone ever hindered him from posting before? Did I contact him to that effect? Can it be shown where I told him not to post whatever has pleased? Why was my post so triggering? Maybe there's something you can tell me about that. If he has that many haters/observers on the forum, why pick on my post?

I used to enjoy his threads until they became like this one. The amount of polarity on the forum is sickening already, why e it? If you check my posts, I am what a subset of forum users call a feminist and some more. But on this thread the sentiment isn't about an assault. I will be sure to avoid such threads in future.

Kobojunkie:
1. It is not my theory as that is what scripture makes clear on the subject of prayer... it is just as useless a problem-resolution method as any other out there for all unrighteous people. So, it shouldn't be brought up at all.

Lol.

Soylife:
You are speaking like this because you haven't experienced what the op is going through. Do you know what it means for a child to be going through all this early in life,parents are already mentally equipped to manage a child and all their troubles but a child needs all the love and care of the parents to grow into a confident person. Most children that face issues like this grow to have self esteem issues, depression and anxiety disorders.
Dealing with a toxic boss is different,I don't expect love from him,if he is a nice person,good,if not I work and go home but a toxic mother is different,her words and opinions matters to you. Do you know if your mum tells people that her child is bad chances that they will believe her without hearing from you is high.
What the Op's mother is doing is very bad because what she is doing would continue to cause issues and problems even after she is gone

Some parents aren't mentally equipped to handle children, and that's the thing nobody here wants to acknowledge. They are people prone to failure like everyone else, too. They aren't perfect people. Even the op isn't a perfect person.

Some people will say their toxic boss has made them depressed and suicidal, but they've never left their job. Quite alright the expectations are different, but managing a boss is managing a person, just as managing the failings of a parent who is also a person. The thing is that most responses here are emotional, without t even considering if his own mother was scarred by her own upbringing, if she has a mental health issue, if his childhood was traumatic to her.

There's no excuse for bad parenting, but people should understand that most people with antisocial behaviors are on a spectrum or have mental health issues. Cutting off, shutting down will not cure the child or parent. It's only covering resentment. Creating more damage in future generations. Empathy works better. Care, too.

The advice on the thread will not help anyone who doesn't want to conceal wounds and create more hurt

Comelysync:
oga we need not to generalize things, what you are trying to do is very simple, just trying to shut Naptu up on nairaland.com because of the kind of respect he commands among members, same question i will ask you that I asked someone yesterday that opened a thread to complain of Naptu been bias towards Igbos, same question I will throw to you now, is there any post Naptu posted that you find out not been true? If there is one highlight it, if there is non whatever you accusing him of, you too start posting yours too and let him be.

Tell me how exactly I'm trying to shut this naptu up. Explain how my observation was designed to shut this naptu up. Am I a mod? Is the naptu a mod?

If more than one person is observing it, maybe it is true.

It's more likely that you and they are trying to shut me up? The way you've all sidestepped my observation to turn it into some sort of claim. Maybe because you think I'm an Igbo person for observing what I did?

BRATISLAVA:
Naptu2

If you are this hurt by your threads and observations on them, sorry. You won't see me reading them again.

Naptu2

BRATISLAVA:
Naptu2

Naptu2

BRATISLAVA:
Naptu2, nobody is deciding for you what to post as you've been posting for years whatever you please unhindered. After all, you're the one in control here.

If you want to keep agitating, blowing out of proportion and quoting me, allow me to reply you inline. Otherwise, give it a rest.

Have a nice day.

Modified: Why so triggered? You claim you're accused of so many things, yet it seems this is your only obsession/accusation. If you are this hurt by your threads and observations on it, sorry. You won't see me reading them again.

Naptu2

Comelysync:
so he should not post what is going on again in Lagos because the said offender is Igbo?
I really don't understand how some people think, are you saying that you not read any post of naptu post exposing badly behaved Yorubas?

I will not if I notice it has leanings against them.

Everything is too polarized here. Men versus women. Igbo versus YouTube versus Hausa. How do people enjoy such polarity, then turn around to say it doesn't exist and that they are the victims?

Soylife:
The only person that lacks empathy and is self centered is the op's mother. You talk like this because you haven't experienced it. What makes a person intelligent is seeing things from different perspective,you may not have experienced this but imagine yourself going through this. We have lots of individuals with self esteem issues,depression,anxiety issues and in worst cases madness because of issues like this. It is women like this that drive their husband to heavy drinking.
My advice to the op is to run,cut off completely from her,if she has issues she is going through that is affecting her behaviour let her seek help instead of frustrating her children

When you guys finally have empathy, real empathy, and can understand why people behave the way they do, you will finally learn to accommodate certain behaviors. For all you know, he's not been a stellar child himself or he knows his parent has mental health issues. These things happen.

Instead he's come here to paint a devil.

Let him cut her off. Or whatever else is prescribed here. Many people work for toxic bosses for a long time, under much worse conditions but will never cut them off, instead they learn to manage them. But heavens forbid a family member does what they don't like. It's off to the guillotine for them.

Naptu2, nobody is deciding for you what to post as you've been posting for years whatever you please unhindered. After all, you're the one in control here.

If you want to keep agitating, blowing out of proportion and quoting me, allow me to reply you inline. Otherwise, give it a rest.

Have a nice day.

Modified: Why so triggered? You claim you're accused of so many things, yet it seems this is your only obsession/accusation. If you are this hurt by your threads and observations on them, sorry. You won't see me reading them again.

Kikeslayer2:
Behave !

You have your wish. I will not post any further on this.

Kikeslayer2:
Behave !

Naptu2 should promote general topics not certain leanings. It was terrible during the election period as there was nothing to read but hate and shared hate.

I began noticing more of such tribalism and ethnic hate from shares to me and it was disgusting what people would support.

Numerouno94:
I can't blif this is coming from a lady. Ur fellow lady was assaulted and instead of seeking for justice u re trying to play the tribal card.

Remember, men like Babex re on the prowl, thus, it can also happen to u "God for 4bid it".

Don't believe that your forum is full of tribalism and ethnic hate. Look for how to spin it on your head. Follow his posts and you will realize that.

It will happen to you as much as you think it can happen to me. After all, there are more women than men in your country, if you are a man. And as a man, it's not farfetched either. You aren't too far from such "God for 4bid it"..

Wickedfacts:
You're a lady supporting evil because he's Igbo like you.
May your daughters always face what this lady faced and may they always face molestation.

What a painfully ret_arded post.

Your tribes mean nothing to me. I don't care what he is. I will never belong to your Nigerian tribe. But this OP I realized has a lot of narratives to push from time to time. Just like you. You don't care a whit about women. You are agitated because your leanings have been mentioned.

Who loves cursing will wear his curses as a garment. Enjoy it.

CSTRR:
A very callous man indeed.

He is endangering the future of his daughter just becauue he wan fucckk everyday.

An unthinking man.

And he's playing it out as if he's the victim of an evil woman when he is a man that's ready to throw out his daughter to please said evil woman. He is even more evil as that's his daughter.

His morality is crooked.

Who is this guy, really?

Modified: looked at the poster and realized why there's all the interest in the case. Clearly this is tribalist/ethnic thread for their people. It's why it's a pressing issue.

Fineman2:
Why are some women like this?

Your agenda is clear.

Why are some men like this? You knew you had a young grieving daughter to care for as her only parent, and are using her as the cover for rushing into a new marriage when it was your own lust that pushed you into the arms of your current wife and not because you cared so much, and in under 3 years you have been ready to throw your daughter at relatives just so that you can remain married and sate yourself. Not an ounce of stamina to defend your child before your desires. What truly did you want for your daughter if not that your relatives were wise enough to insist she stays with you? To make her a toy to be passed along relatives while you go on to have other children who you would consider more human than her? What stopped you from taking care of her yourself, or aren't you really her father?

But, let's not talk about that, instead let us ask: why are some women like this?

Kobojunkie:
1. Whatever wishful thoughts people like to have, the point is prayer only works when one is in fact righteous. So trying to solve the OP's situation by resorting to prayers is just as you described, a waste of energy in no particular direction.

Who described prayers as the solution in the first place?

You might need to bring out your glasses for that part, if you're being any bit objective on your quest.

I'm not interested in your old argument as I do not believe it, especially not in your theory of righteousness or your being so. That is a waste of energy in no particular direction. Your fishing is DOA.

Kobojunkie:
1. God does not answer the prayers of the unrighteous; the petition/pleas/requests of the unrighteous are tainted by their sin(unholiness) and hence an abomination to God. So, resorting to praying would amount equally to a waste of energy without direction.

For those who think prayers work, praying for hours about a nonexistent job issue is directionsless. It's better he prayed for her instead.

As for righteousness or unrighteousness, it doesn't matter.

TUANKU:
Look at these idiots jumping to conclusions and blaming the mother after hearing one side of the story.
God knows i will never bring my private issues or family matters on NL, what do you aim to achieve with the opinions of a majority with the IQ of a potted plant.
You allow one idiot for NL dey call your mama "Toxic mom"

Thank you.

You would think that they themselves are saints reporting the deeds of the grand chancellors of hell they had as mothers. They can't look into their own childhoods and the effect it had on their parents. No. There's just what they say.

Too many self-centered, fractured people on the thread

lekonso:
There is a solution I'm sure can work to deal with the situation 100% if you can do it. It is hard but it works. Anytime she is around in the house, wake up in the night between 1:00 a.m. and 4:00.a.m and pray against the spirit of confusion at work for at least 30 minutes everyday she is in that house, i promise you, there will total peace all through the time she is around, just test it and see whether it will work or not, but i promise you it never fails.

Why waste such energy without direction? Isn't it easier to pray for his mother to become more peaceful rather than complaining and looking for advice online.

Your advice is even peaceful compared to the nonsense other people have posted. People that don't have family and are alone always, yet in the midst of family.

Anyone having issues with a parent who listens to anything here will end up with a problem twice as worse. Or maybe stabbed to death. Or in jail. Or at a funeral that doesn't need to happen yet. A lot of people are lacking in balanced approaches to life, and unsurprisingly they are the quickest to give advice. Some are transferring hate while giving advice.

"Cut her off! She's gaslighting you! Ignore her! Do what you want!"

When you get old and gray and you are cut off by your children, because you will always be annoying to your own children, you will think harder about the right approach to such matters. Most people commenting on the thread are self-centered and lack empathy in their dealings.

Motirayo2018:
I am justing laughing reading all this.
Going to facebook , someone posted almost something.

You can't eat ,does not give you did right to call it disgusting .
The one you buy from Amala joint is also prepare the way.

Before the invention of blender this is what we use.

You're not understanding what majority of the people are saying about it.

It's not about blenders.

Kihhyo:
Cool. Looks great by the way

Is this the peak of sarcasm on the thread?

Lexusgs430:
He could have engaged his sidechick and bought a dual purpose ring 💍.......🤣😜

Lol

Lexusgs430:
They are separated nah........ During separation, the man is allowed to sow his wild oats........😜


When she still wanted him, why did she agree to separate......🤣

The ranting is confusing. She referred to the man as she numerous times. She's not being straightforward. Once, she even says that they are still married.

If divorced as the husband claims, why is he wearing a wedding band still? He's clearly lying about that part while shooing her with his 9ct band. She went to stay with a friend, but one wonders if they are truly even separated as she rants.

She claims they are "separated"/she packed out temporarily because of Christiana or whatever the side woman's name is coming to live with the man and her (?).

Good luck to them both. She should move on.

Parizz:
Bratislava come here oh. See what your mates are doing

What's your main moniker?