₦airaland Forum

chukwuebuka65:
Na im be say this career is not for the weak.

Those who snooze lose.

qtguru:
Everybody studies, I'm still studying Algo and DSA at this age at my career and achievement.

You too, sir? But you're a mentor!

Do you want to get everything and leave nothing for the others? Why won't you rest for a bit?

tctrills:
Yes and the OP was told by his sister, the wife and you choose to believe without hearing from the man.
Learn to calm down before commiting to judgement.

So you'd imagine, rather than believe the account before you? Because what the man is accused of doing is what his wife said, because you know better than the op that she's lying?

And if this account is true, you will still rather prefer hear his side of the story? Because it will justify why he's doing all that? Because the man must be innocent somehow? And the brother came here to lie about a man he has confronted before who wouldn't change? Because he never actually beat her and she's enjoying her marriage to him, so much that her brother came here to praise him?

This is how you aged people listened to the alwa ibom serial killer because the newspapers did not give his side of the story, and he claimed the girl wanted sex with him in his own account, meanwhile he had killed many girls and that one was looking for a job. You need his side of the story. He's gotten away with the murder while tantalizing you all with his fables.

K.

Learn to weigh events as they are without committing to judgement on imagined circumstances. Or wait to hear the lies of a man who wants to justify himself.

airsaylongcome:
Brati, I'm literally spending almost 20 hours on the computer these days o. 8 hours work. 12 hours study. The sleep self no dey complete. I have one of the most demanding exams coming up and it's almost like na Indomie I get as brain

Lol. Understandable.

Best of luck, our red cap mentor.

airsaylongcome:
I'm sorry I can't provide mentorship or guidance at this point. I'm neck deep in a a study program that I barely have time. I apologise

You, sir, you still need to study? Red cap mentor.

Kobojunkie:
Why those features abeg?

They vilify women with those traits. Imagine Nigerian men saying that women with bigger buttocks have a lot of sheet in them. They constantly claim they want a woman with brains, as if women aren't born with them, and as if women with these body parts are pariah. So what you have made bold is what they say they want.

Unwashed feet. Just like the revolting practice of Italians.

Emaprince:
Vex ke?

You misconstrued the tone of the post.

You misconstrued the tone of my post.

Dshocker:
Tell her; Marriage is for better, for worst.

She has to work with the man and help manage his finance.

But before then, he should get a job, or start a business.

You'd give this exact, same advice if this were about a jobless woman pretending?

Acidosis:
Sad but common, many were tricked. It's even more prevalent because some women have a way of evaluating a man's worth without factual evidence. I mean, they look at the shoes and the car and mentally estimate a salary (all in the head).

In an era where everyone is a tech and AI juggernaut, more people will be scammed, unfortunately.

And men, the sorts of boys who post about the economic value of women who they will date, they don't assess the women too?

Is it that greed is not in men because men are saints when going into relationships? Or men aren't human enough to have the emotions that women do? They don't evaluate women in any form?

Men are golddiggers too, a lot of them But it's a cultural for Nigerian men to never admit it discuss their tendencies. They instead project it on their women.

Emaprince:
I know say you dey vex like this.

You too dey vex.

Go and watch movie or something.

Why are you vexed by my post?

Why do most togolese men look like the referee, down to the same hairstyle and cheekbones?

Menclothing:
Value attract value

If you are valueless and package urself with make up no business or well paid job and you want a man of class shift

And if you are valueless like the man in the op with everything and nothing and want a classy woman with make up, a business and a week paid job? What then? She should be blamed for your valueless state? Or you think value is the sole custody of men?

Worriedwife:
Allow married people answer

Expect it to be a thread from single men with nothing to offer.

tctrills:
Oga, how did you know he beat his wife? Do you have a cam in their home? What if his side of the story is that he never beat his wife? It's true that you are young but you are not too young not to remember the case of Johnny Depp and Amber Heard. Please let's learn from other's mistakes

It's in the op.

LegallyBlunt:
In summary, she followed the money.

If she was genuinely interested in him and not his bank balance and monetary capabilities, she would have smelled a rat at the dating stage.

It's that simple.

He lied, I'm not saying he did a good thing.

However, it was the money he used to keep up appearances with her.

And her greed failed to let her see the truth before agreeing to tie the knot.

Yes, blame her.

Menclothing:
It’s money you looking for
If you had brought value to the table you won’t meet a deceiver

Does the man in the story have any value? If he were poor he would have loads of value, right? Then we would hear that his future is bright.

Kobojunkie:
Define lasting marriage?

To Nigerian boys, it is one contracted in poverty to a woman with no breasts or buttocks and a brain that weighs 50kg who steadily gives them $$$$>5000 monthly and turns a blind eye to everything they do, yet carries the bulk of the relationship as a wise woman.

It won't stop them from cheating or make them better men themselves.

descarado:
They are very smart and hides their faults very well.
Check his background, his problem started from there. He hated some female around him when growing up. Revenge mission. Its psychological.

It's clear the man has mental issues but he must've slipped up. Even narcs slip up, but the victim make excuses to explain why they were so wicked they one time and the other time.

sharone21:
Not at all .... The easiest way for insecure men to hold their wives captive ( as she is in jail already and he is a Task master to her), is to call her Ashawo.... an Adulteress..... But, for women who know their worth, it is to grow thick skin on this...... He doesn't give her anything as her husband, he is not her husband only the father of her children.....He is wondering how God still prospers her after wishing her dead( since he doesn't take care of her).
Many will suggest divorce but what will she get in consolation? There are cases of divorce outside Africa where even in the face of infidelity from the wife, the husband still paid $350,000( not talking of super rich persons ooo), but not so in Nigeria whether or not the woman is caught in adultery. Reason why after claiming to divorce their wives, the new wife wouldn't feel secure in Nigeria unless FULLY legally married, because the man is still owing her and might need to pay in the future unlike foreigners where u feel very secure as the new wife since the ex has been DULY settled.

You know them well. Same tactic male posters use to try and subjugate/imprison women to tolerate their awful lifestyles and accept them as worthless and useless as they come. Same technique of man in the story.

Woman marries after husband dies: she is a prostitute
Woman leaves abusive husband: no wonder she's leaving, she wants to sample other men, she is a prostitute
Woman has an affair like all polygamous by nature men: she's a prostitute, "woman is not man"
Woman has child out of wedlock: she's a prostitute
Etc

All those labels were created just to keep women with their pathetic selves. The truth is, men are so terrified of dying alone like Kevin Samuels. They are so scared of it that they will shame women into staying with them, even if they are worthless men. Especially if they are. Loneliness is their biggest fear.

tctrills:
No need to argue with you. When you get older, you will realize that all people, both male and female lie, then you will understand why all wise people purse and investigate before dishing out judgement. You will also learn that every case should be treated independently and not as a statistics. Just give yourself a few more years and you will see clearly.

Older? It is from the perspective of age you have my submissions.

People lie, and that is your reason to want to know why a man would do those things? To justify what? Even if she cheated on him with his father and his younger brother, nothing justifies beating his wife, starving his children and other things listed there. What happened to leaving? What do you think his side of the story will do? It will explain why he should not be arrested for battering his wife and other domestic abuse?

In jail, his reasons don't matter. Why do they matter so much to you? Age dictates that knowing why doesn't change the outcome, no judge will ever be interested in why when a crime has been committed and rightly so. Investigating clear evidence is pointless.

But forget about all the breaking up and whatnot. This woman claims to be only 31? Sorry, but this rosy looks at least ten years older than that. How old is Tonto?

MS247:
He actually loves his wife in an obsessive toxic manner so I doubt he wants her dead . A simple counseling and therapy would fix them

Love? Everything described there is chronic hatred. The man is mentally ill if that is his expression of love.

MS247:
Your sister once cheated on her husband and the childish insecure man is finding it very difficult to trust her back

The man would die of HBP if he doesn't change

He's not doing any dying. Rather he's trying to do the killing. In such an amusing manner that it's surprising there's such a sick man loose.

Karnice600:
I already know the tribe that man comes from but I didn't come up here to spite any tribe.
A guy sometime ago asked a question here about who to marry among several women, with some who had good heads for managing his business... and I asked him to first get a sales girl and then marry her. Its better to turn a sales girl into a wife than a wife into a salesgirl.
Ladies if he showers you with gift, you should also be sensitive to know when he's buying you off the shelf like ketchup and mayonnaise.
He's not civilized but his money is, and so you die put on top him matter.

I can't encourage a divorce but I can encourage thorough prayer and dry fasting for her. Whether he's a smelling pant husband or not, he's the father of her kids. Someone suggested seeing Women welfare stuff. Its a good way to go too.

LMAO

What tribe is it? Let's learn something new today. It could only be your two most popular tribes for wife abuse: Yoruba and Igbo.

lummily:
You said your in law told his mechanic that his wife doesn’t wear pant!!.. so what will your sister do? She will run into the house shamefully and weeping? ;DYou and your sister are very very sick!

Help us ask the guy.

Haveyoueatentod:
the man done catch her before the op no write that part.

So why create a toxic environment for his children and himself instead of just divorcing her?

Some of the things seen as justification are just torment to the people going about it. If he kills her, he will go to jail and end up in hell. So what exactly is the benefit of all he's doing?

Confirm4real:
After the outcome of Human Rights I will know the next action to take. Thanks.

You are waiting for the outcome, as you have been waiting these 15 years? What if while he's beating her as you wait for the outcome he does something terrible to her?

Are you really concerned about your sister, or is there something you should tell us about their relationship that you haven't yet? Are you a direct beneficiary of the man, living with him perhaps?

tctrills:
So how do you know he battered his wife? How do you know he is starving his children? A wise person doesn't just conclude.

Why shouldn't we conclude? Because men have not been known to do those things? Statistically, it is highly likely that all the things he said are happening.

You should be worried that in the face of such inhumanity you need to hear his side of the story. It will not justify anything.

CuriousStudent:
In a society that shams women for being divorcees many will endure bad marriages. In the east,if your daughter divorce,you can't even quarrel with a market woman without her using it against you. In an august meeting,a little argument erupted and one woman was subdued because her daughter divorced. Alot of women relocate from communities if their daughters divorce for stigma. If the parents take her back home, the parents will be ostracized.

Perhaps that is the condition society has put her into, but this is 2023 and if she values her life she should get out of that place of no self worth. It almost seems like fantasy, this OPs post.

Farfalla:
She's probably somewhere booking massage sessions for herself and her silly-looking husband. Wait for the pictures. The rosy marriage agenda must agend.

No way will a man who never valued his 1st and 2nd marriage value his 3rd.

Any time you see couples going overboard to display how happy they are -- red flag. 🚩

Hit the nail on the head.

Lol @massage sessions. Probably true. Rosy agenda, nice pun. Lol.

She didn't look particularly happy, despite the flood of pictures that screamed "I'm happy and he's so good to me, I'm a real woman to this man, he values me".

Their relationship was simply to spite the ex. A man who names his second son with the woman he cheated with by the same name as his first son is full of issues. Maybe she wanted to be a white damsel and rescue him from the obvious disdain he has for women. And I keep wondering how someone looks at his unattractive face and believes he should be married. I don't understand the ex or any woman who looks at men that look like him as attractive. How do they even lock lips?

Kajaard:
Very true.

I also find it hard to believe that she dated this animal for 5 years before marriage and never noticed these animalistic traits.

I am forced to think this is another one of those made up tales to drive Nairaland traffic.

It's hard to believe.