₦airaland Forum

Logician:
That's a sign that the intimacy is great for now, because they are newly weds. @op, remember to update us about them in a few years let she is sugar still has her sweetness.

N:B I don't wish them bad, its just typical of every newly weds.
I wish them long life and prosperity.....

jearile:
Ladies that always like to be only on "asking & collecting" side more often end up becoming stingy and greedy wives and mothers. Learn to also give tangibly to your male counterpart without them asking because most times no real dude will even ask from you. It is an act that shows you belong to a different class of ladies and not to be taken or misunderstood as a gesture to minister your "in love" emotions towards him.
Guys that have turned their girlfriends to house helps; she cooks, clean and wash for you because you are the boss. Men with this mentality end up acting like prison warden to their wives and children. Even if a woman lacks self-respect, you can culture her to place herself in such a high esteem by treating her the way a lady ought to be appreciated. That's what makes you her right man.
For those of us who wish to raise our own families sooner or later, the reason why we weren't born married into this world is so that as we grow, we learn to become more repsonsible; not just for our own benefit per se but also for our unborn children and the society at large. Your action(s) at this present moment puts you in a better position for the next moment that is to come. Let's leave frivolities and concentrate more on life threatening priorities that we need to conquer now before they conquer us in our quest of being champions as fathers and mothers. That you crave to be allowed to enjoy your youthful age shouldn't be an unreasonable licence for you to build up past and habits you may eventually have to fight with thereafter at the detriment of your comfort and longevity.
Some are learning, some are playing; some are changing, some are just there - how you prepare, will determine how you'll perform.

The world in dire need of better men and women - apply now!

~Sir Jerry.com

FrancisTony:
Never knew you were married with (a) kid(s)...

You don't live in Nigeria, shey?

slimmy05:
Different perspectives and opinion on this matter has been raised, but I still ask, is there any correlation between gender and chores? I mean like specific chores were meant for specific gender?

I received a call 2 hours ago and it was a friends' wife that called. She complained how she has been beaten severally for not cooking as early as possible for the husband. I rushed to the house as it was just 3 blocks away from mine, knocked and the husband who is a very close friend from Nigeria refused to let me in. I had to threaten him that if he doesn't allow me in I'll call 911, he finally opened the door. The scene was nothing to write home about. I called him out and asked what actually went wrong, he complained that the wife is lazy and slow, in his words "she no fit wash plate quick quick, she no fit cook fast fast make man chop, abi she dey expect me make I wash plate or cook?". I was silent for 2 minutes as I gazed at him with annoyance and asked him, if you wash the plate or assist with the cooking will your manhood stop functioning? We talked and settled it amicably. I've never been pissed at a mans useless egoistical attitude like I did today.

I remember vividly last year, I was in a bus going home after work angry at my unpaid salary. The guy at the backseat was screaming at his phone (I later found out he wasn't shouting, its just the way he talks, you know those mungo park that would receive call screaming like those pot belly thick Igbo men harassing their debtors on phone or like baba bisi calling his wife to make sure there is "gbegiri" soup). As much as I didn't care about his conversation, his loud voice didn't help. He was criticizing his girlfriend/ wife for not cooking. I wasn't going involve myself in another couples issue, but the fact that the guy kept repeating the statement "it is your job" as a woman to cook got me perplexed, are there domestic job meant for specific genders? Like she cooks and I mop the room? She washes the dishes and I watch TV?

Are domestic chores gender sensitive? I am not championing feminism, but we can make it happen #choreequality

Arizona1:
Am having a problem of trust from my wife. She accuses me of having girl friends anytime she demands for money and I tell her to have patience. She listens to gossip a lot and believe what her friends and people tell her instead of what me her hubby tells her

Arizona1:
I do everything for her and she does not work. The allegation got to d point that she threatnd she will do something very soon,she'll be the one making money and my job will go.

Arizona1:
So am confused coz I always stay @ home,help her with domestic work and take care of children coz we hav two kids and no house help.[quote author=Arizona1 post=35126428]Well done

You are confused as in you don't know what else she wants?

[quote author=Arizona1 post=35126428]She pusHed me so hard that I slappd her one night and she took the kids and ran to her mother's house. Her mothr and sisters have been calling me and raining abuses on me,her youngr bro sent me a text that if something happens to her sister, he'll kill me.

Arizona1:
As a mattr of fact she always brings problem always att end of d month when I say she should calm down because of all we're sending @ home which she's part of but The money she's asking of is for her bro which she borrowd from him jus 3wks ago.

Arizona1:
Am getting tired of d whole thing and want to take my kids from her and leave her out of my life for now. Pls my people,I will welcome ur meaningful suggestions.

cococandy:
My simple style.

cococandy:
Good.
That's why you should concentrate on paedophilia in your country than homophilia in the west.

damiso:
H

Sis I am not actually one of those people who think that a man that does not do chores in the house is a bad husband. I grew up in a home where I never really saw my dad doing chores cos he never really had to ,there were loads of people to do it.Come to think of it even my mum never really did chores chores as in sweeping,washing plates, etc.She did more of coordination. I was still joking with her when she was around recently that it's obvious she is not used to all this pick kids, cook dinner from scratch(meal prep wash fish etc) as she was already 'madam' at my age and stage of marriage .She just laughed and said am not serious.

That said I learnt from them trying to be kind and treat other nicely. Those days I am talking about I & my siblings were still relatively young and we had house helps and scores of relatives living with us. During this water shortages all these older ones would have to carry buckets and go to neighbouring streets to look for water.

Dad would come back and say 'omi melo ni e fe pon Pelu bucket gan stress Ati wahala yii ti poju'meaning how much water will you people actually be able to fetch with buckets plus all the energy expended oya get in the car lets go to Unilag. He had a number of prof friends and Unilag always had water supply. He just could not stand to see these young people go through so much stress just to get water. and this trips could be like 5 times and with him just getting back from work. In his beloved v booth

These were people he was feeding and sponsoring their education and in the case of the house helps even paying for their services.

Not to talk of ones wife or kids .. Haba

He looked for a solution as soon as possible as even that using the car was just enough for everyone to have their bath the next day.

I grew up knowing that a man looks for ways to make life easy for his family. I even got my 'laziness' from my parents anything to make life easy for me , I go for.

Whizzcute:
Thatt's why i suggested they should get a maid

Kimoni:
Hahahahahhahahahhahaa

Buka Buka, husband's funding in this case of extreme manual labour will include cook, maid and abo.kis' (to carry water from the ground floor to their flat) salaries ooooo

But seriously, in this case, I am not sure the husband can afford all that else they won't be fetching water from ground floor to their skycraper, so it won't work in this case. She has also diccussed severally with the husband, yet he won't help. Wetin she wan talk again? She is going to break down very soon before the husband will realize he needs to take action. So my advice is hinged on that. Rather than wait to truly break down, why don't she "Omotola" or "Genevieve" the sickness before it happens true true

If you are married to an "African" man, you cannot be speaking English all the time o

fem29:
Well said dear.

The thing is men really need to be more undstanding about house work after kids are born. Even a woman that is confident that she can take care of a house by herself can never imagine how much more work she will have once she has kids, especially toddlers. Cleaning a house that grown ups live in is a very different kettle of fish from cleaning a house with kids in it. They are just mess making machines. With grown ups, you prob sweep once a day or 2 days. With kids you sweep several times a day. My kids literally go from room to room messing everywhere up, food crumbs everywhere, paint on the tables, cut up paper all over the floor, toys toys toys, get into the kitchen and scatter garri everywhere, clothes taken out of drawers and strewn everywhere. It is overwhelming.

Men PLEaSE once you have kids, your life HAS to change as well. Don't be saying your wife changed after giving birth, tes she did dos she is under immense pressure if you do not help her out. Stop being so bloody lazy, you will not die if you some work around the house.

Chillisauce:
Carry your cross o jare. When you were doing it free of charge to answer mrs, you didn't complain.
now é don shele.
You never see oba, stay Dia e hear?
Super woman.
anyway I no get advise for you but if I were in your shoes, N'a screw driver I for take puncture him yansh.
Mteeew.

Maybe your hubby sef dey on line dey fight feminism while him keep slave for house.

Muchecheche.

VintageCocktail:
Naaaaaaa!!!! Naaaaaa!!! I had to quote you please. !
This is the mentality of most people born in Nigeria, we believe women must do the household chores without complaining even go extra miles to build a career/ business at the same time raising kids.
No wonder we don't have middle class in this hellhole,.

If this couple will be able to join hands and manage their homes without bringing in extra expenses like house help, complement each other, both can be productive at the same time and extra income will be realised if the lady wishes to work. I bet the op won't dare to applied for any work that will add more stress to her which will further limit their finances.

pickabeau1:
They have always been there
Social media and connectedness makes such events get known faster

2CatWoman:
Please explain yourself

crystalgem:
I am married for two year nw with a baby girl, though marriages ave up and down but the one am going through ryt nw,that makes my body aches is the house chores, I do virtually al the work with no help, starting from sweeping the verandah, to the mopping the sitting room,kitchen, and the passage, to clearing the dishes,fetching water and serious u nid to see our well it's rily so deep,i fills the kitchen and toilet with water, wash the toilet, cook den take care of the baby while my husband sit al tru pressing his fone. Av discussed this with him several tyms but no change. I dnt no wot else to do as this is killing me. I alwaz wonder if he love me cos I dnt no ow u ll claim to love ur wife but stil watch her go through stress without you helping ha.....pls advice

Whizzcute:
So if you marry tomorrow you will xpect your husband to do house chores for you?

What if the man's job schedule is 6.am - 6pm??


Just get a maid that will help you and stop waiting for your man.


In a true fact sef, a girl that did all these chores when she was at her fathers house will still not find anything difficult to do it at her husband's house.

cococandy:
Of course it is YOUR house.
And the woman is the tenant who's only needed because she's the glorified housemaid.

If not why else is she needed?

cococandy:
I'm a woman
I don't like bad boys

ireke:
It is not enough to have befriended your husband on social media and be boasting about it if you have not used it to your advantage in a positive and creative way.

here are some suggestions - the man is close to you now so
1. Ask him about his fantasies. If he can befriend strangers on the internet, he may be willing to talk about his sexual fantasies with you. Use this information to assist you in pleasuring him at home.
2. Ask him about the issues with his wife. He may tell you (his online girl friend) some lies about you (his wife at home) but, guess what, he may also tell you things that are really truly pissing him off. You are in a good position to know the truth so use the information accordingly i.e. make changes where necessary. Try to let him know you are making efforts to correct those things. (not in a desperate way though)

PS.
I really don't believe the story because not many men would be free with a lady whose face they have not seen. However, if anyone could pull this off by any means, I think she should take optimum advantage of the situation.

misssclassy:
[color=#000050]Are you serious? Bollywood?

Those bollywood movies irk me because of the way women are treated.
The women view and treat their husbands like they are some kind of Gods over them, while they themselves are seen as mere slaves.
Females have no say at all. They are married away to anyone their fathers wants, not minding if they want to or not.

I was just finished watching a movie on Zee World and one of the female characters was talking to a nurse and this was the phrase she used --- "wait till my master gets here". And she was referring to her husband. Can you imagine?

If you see the way those people treat their women you will weep.
They just see women as mere possessions that they sell to a family.
You are talking about bride price....that has nothing to do with the girl in question, it's just between the fathers. Even the mothers don't have a say.

If anyone needs to hear the message of gender equality , it's them.[/color]

TooNoisy:
You quoted me first! And even after I ignored you, you went on and on.

Next time, you don't quote me okay!

TooNoisy:
You are soooo not funny! Don't know why you are adding smileys. Next time, just shut up if you dont have anything to say!

VictoriaBee:
How am I minor when the dude is also a minor
FYI, he's just 19years.

damiso:
I can see the thread title has been modified

Nigerians we can like to stereotype( I am guilty too sometimes sha) bleaching woman= runs gal

Even though it is true that runs gals and high maintenance chics tend to bleach ( its difficult to be buying £500 cream from 9 to 5 work ) it does not however make every bleaching woman a runs chic.

TooNoisy:
Stop playing dumb. You cannot be a fan of Omotola and continue to spread rumours about her marriage.

TooNoisy:
A guy placing his hands on her butt is part of her role as an actress. I am sure you have never watched any American movies in your life. And please, just stop the ridiculous story about Beckham. How can you believe such unless you are a hater.

TooNoisy:
Stop hating and focus on your marriage if you are married. Building a successful career in anything is very challenging okay. She may have given up on some things does not mean she sacrificed her family! Doofus!

edwife:
That is why you must not settle for less. A pretty face should not be the only quality a man should desire in a woman.
In prov 31:13 A Virtuous Woman works willingly with her hands,so my brother seek a young lady who is ready to work and support you financially.
When you read what the ladies say,you will notice that they talk about women being independent.

Moana:
some times i dont blame them. if you are not confident enough, you will always feel the need to keep someone else under you to convince yourself that you can amount to something in life.

TooNoisy:
Must you comment all the time even if it doesn't make sense? I intentionally ignored all the rubbish you wrote and wished you a nice day because responding to you was a waste of time.

TooNoisy:
So because Omotola does not identify as a feminist, she built her career at the expense of her home and had sex scandals. You are the ones that run your mouth bringing down successful women because you have nothing to show for your life; yet you go about claiming you are championing the cause of women.

TooNoisy:
A young girl reading your comments who wanted to build an Acting career may be discouraged because of the things people like you will say about her. You are the same society you often criticize as being unfair to woman. You have been extremely unfair to another woman just because she does not call herself a feminist.

TooNoisy:
Omotola is extremely successful and you can hate all you care. She has four lovely children and I cannot understand how you can claim she built a career at the expense of her family. Her kids are all grown and are doing well. Her husband loves her and that is all we know. Whether he goes to the market or not is not your business. I'm sure her sex scandals were with your brothers, abi?

TooNoisy:
You do not exist outside Nairaland so just stfu and get a life!