₦airaland Forum

REDBUNNY:
I don't think the lady was pretending before marriage because then she wasn't leaving with the man,so she can come like twice or once a week to help out but now she is married and has to do these things everyday even with pregnancy. Her husband is just a selfish lazy man who needs a glorified housemaid.

Delary:
My friend, who is working with one of the federal government parastatals, married an intelligent lady who is teaching in a private school. before the marriage, they dated for six (6) years. during this time of dating, the lady comes around to do his laundary, cooking & sweeping; this she made a serious point of duty and frawns at the guy any time he makes an attemt to do any of the above chores. now that they are married, even before the lady took in, she had started complaning that the guy is stressing her up with those three chores (Recall: cooking, laundary & sweeping). the problem is that the guy closes work by 4pm while the wife closes by 2pm. d man comes back from work ensures there are water for d house then he goes to take his bath and retires to his bed to take a nap. so, most times, d intelligent wife comes to complain that he left d entire work for her and they usally have misunderstanding on dis.
Please, give ur candid advive to this couple to save their young marriage. THANKS IN ANTICIPATION!!

Feranchek:
Nne no be lie you talk o0o0!!

Konji MA baskad

pickabeau1:
which stress do u refer
Except you refer to the expected increase as a result of managing a career and a family..yes?



What do you propose on the home front?
These women in the article(i assume u read it) had men who helped them
yet the men left them after the kids had left the home


Dont get the point here
I never denied they were issues with females and cars in Naija


I know a lot..u mean males or females?
I know females in their 30s who are just marrying.. other are still searching


50/50 means the men are involved in home management.. did u read the article at all


ok...when they divorce. what kind of women do the men go for?


Why marry an old woman when younger models exist

pickabeau1:
Seems most of the respondents are in sync with the observations but disagree with the conclusion
so the issues exist..yes?



I agree but the question remains... why do women have to manage the home front.. according to shollypopz
This is the core of the question.. to be or not to be
This is the superwoman question...


A lady getting a car is not always about society but a function of the societal or economic status
in a few years this will be a thing of the past and be a normal thing
All my siblings had cars immediately they finished school and it never affected their relationship




I agree with you
Delegation can help with the stress


Why do u not want to address the late marriage/divorce angle

She is saying even men who bought into the 50.50 model are leaving their partners of many years after the kids have left the roost to settle with younger, less independent women.

Thoughts?

Kimoni:
Hahahahahhaha

Life become very sweet when you learn how to delegate baa

babygirlfl:
bukatyne, kimoni and enlightenedSoul, your write-ups are refreshing.

SuperSuave:
your dp makes me salivate, change it now!

Nihilist:
How have I made your point for you?

The law is clear. In Spain, Consensual sex with a 13 year old is legal with no age restrictions. In Italy, Consensual sex with a 14 year old is legal, whilst consensual sex with a 13 year old has age restrictions.

I've given you links to the legal documents. Help yourself.

freecocoa:
Weldone standd, beautiful as always.

The hypocrisy in nigeria cannot be found any other place on the planet. While I agree there are good men, I must say there are only a few of them.

The thing is that, it did not start today, it is something that is deeply ingrained in our society, men have a way of agreeing with each other even without saying a word, almost like there's a code amongst them not to call one erring to order, as that will make them appear weak, there's just something I'm yet to understand with men.

A man knows another man is a thief but will keep his mouth shut and call it hustling, talking crap about how it's not easy to be a man, the thief himself has no issues discussing his business with fellow men because he's sure none of them will expose him, just what do you call that? Men are annoyingly hypocritical.

EnlightenedSoul:
Loll, no. That's the last thing I'd say being a firm advocate of the financial independence of women. The problem is, many *woman often think it's their responsibility to make sure everything gets done - and if honey doesn’t do it, they’ll do it. They’ll make arrangements to have somebody come in, they’ll leave their job during their lunch break, be there to make sure the person gets into the house to fix something, and then go back to work. They'll enable people around them - they'll baby their children, and then baby their partner/husband as well! They'll banish the "NO!" at the tip of their tongues at work, despite their already teeming workload.

The real problem is, the minute they take on all these expectations, it not only becomes their own expectation of themselves, but everyone else's expectation of them. What they don't know is that saying "No!" when you need to actually gets you ahead, because not only is taking on too much, or "doing it all" stress-inducing, it's counter-productive! These women in the articles obviously needed to delegate, but no they were stuffing mushrooms and then blaming feminism for it instead.

Speaking for myself, I'm guilty of over-burdening myself too. I literally micro-manage almost everything. I recently tried to take on a second (part-time) job for the summer (for discounts and savings not gonna lie ) despite already having a commitment, school, and full-time work. I'm crazier than most people at this, so I actually fear for myself sometimes. I know there are people who 2/3/4 jobs (they're superhumans IMO), but I work nights, and it would've been insane to keep at it. I lasted, like, two weeks at the part-time Smiling at customers, and pretending I cared about their existence proved harder than I thought.

*I referenced some of The Broad Experience here*

pickabeau1:
Your question is not clear
make your own observation then we can discuss

cococandy:
Exactly.
It makes their silence look like implied approval.

pickabeau1:
women marrying after 35

right age for marriage?
the word right is not the best but anything from ,30 for guys and 27 for women is ok

this allows for them to have a steady financial base

cococandy:
@bold can be said to be a direct consequence of stressful work life and home life.

And this is feminisms' fault because?

Are non-feminists essentially women who are content to be idle and not experience the stress of achievement?

People deal with stress differently.
If someone turns to drink for relief, blame their ignorance.

Feranchek:
Hmmm...

Eleyi gidi gan o0o! what can a righteous man do kwanu Bro, you've been holding yourself for a while, please continue doing so.

Buh if you really wanna know her true intent, pretend to play along, then tell her "mama, I'm really missing my wife this night can't wanna sit to hold her in my arms" then watch how 'mama' reacts

cococandy:
Hahahaha

I can relate.
If I got a gift, she would ask me "who is he? Me and your father don't know him.Take it back."

And When I'm like 'I'm an adult, can't I do what I want?'

Her response? "Go and be and adult in your own house. Not under my roof!."

I resented it. But now I know better.
She obviously knew better than me that no gift is really free.

ireneidiva:
That was in those days. Stroll to a guys house now and get raped.

Stillfire:
This is how you know those from reputable background.
What money can you give me that my dadddyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy has not done in 100 folds?
That is why Naija men do not work on their sour character, because all they need to do is to have money and that's it, the average naija girl doesn't care if he's a he-goat, she will die there.

cococandy:
Some guys who know they only have sexual interest in the girl will still complain that she is high maintenance when they both know they are in it for what they can get.
The guy wants to get between her legs and the girl wants his money yet somehow, both of them expect the other person to be the 'mugu' and give up their bargaining chip easily
I laugh.

If they are both genuinely interested in each other without the incentive of sex or money at the back of their minds, they don't need anyone to tell them how to arrange convenient inexpensive dates.

pickabeau1:
so why has she not addressed the elephant in the room except a political Im not perfect, I don't know it all

Are the rumors true

damiso:
Sister bukatyne was really a 'sister' in her Uni days

You have a point though.

Both parties should stop whining. Certain naija men & women deserve each other. Cunning man die cunning man bury am

Taking a girl out or 'taking care' of her is not the indicator that you are a great catch and girls please stop 'begging' for recharge card, Brazilian hair ( you can always braid your hair ) its really demeaning.