₦airaland Forum

Look, I am not the kind to go into a relationship with someone I actually don't want.

So bluespice/ashanti, take note on being emotionally attached
I think it's good to love with your head, I really do.  I think that' why you date to form your impression about the person you are interested in.  Mind you, as soon as we get into the true relationship phase, I begin to let go of my heart.  If after some months we break up, it's hard not to miss what we have had.  Whether or not I did the breaking up is beside the point @ SeanT

I know dear. No mind me.

She had to apologize because she hurt me.

I know exactly why I looked at her diary.  This girl lies about a range of different things.   I won't leave her because she lies.  that is called quitting.  I will continue to work on our relationship because I love her and i want her to change.

when this mess is over we can both be happy, TOGETHER.

keep the thread merged einstein.

Isn't that why you date to find out?

i think we all wished we could just pick somebody out and automatically live happily ever after. that primary two cinderella story doesn't happen in real life baby.

Stop preaching the gospel.

I once had a friend that almost fell victim to a yahoo-yahoo husband.

She was married to a criminal who would lie about anything on the face of the earth. How did she find out she was getting played? She went with her gut. It is not a crime to protect yourself, especially if your partner has nothing to hide. Okay - that part was far-fetched.

My said friend almost lost everything she had worked to build throughout her life. Fortunately, she was saved because she found out.

Amen to testimony.

bluespice:
"love comes to those who believe in it"

yeah. in those make-believe romance novels you like to read.

truth is, what became "love" took hardwork and trust to build.

Don't rain on my parade

lord Jesus may i never become too attached to get dumped . . .until im read to marry which will be for better for worse

I used to have that kind of fantasy when I was 10 years old . be realistic.


nobody is an indispensable asset. Just wait till you get bitten by the chemical bug. Anyone can get dumped when least expecting it.

SeanT21:
So why did U dump her in the first place??

If U fell in a state of depresion then U should have kept her.

INCOMPATIBILITY Love is never enough . Do you understand what I mean?

Ebony, do you agree with me? Life without love has no meaning. Love is thicker than diary. If you cannot share your innermost secret with your one and only, something is wrong. I even read that sometimes she likes to fantasize about PORNOOOOO. I was so mad. We didn't talk for two weeks after that. Keeping diary sounds like it would be fun, but don't write something that will piss off your man. If it's something you want to keep secret forever, hold it in your heart and take it to the grave.

Interesting take.

I have kind of done the dumping before. A few times actually.

Even though I felt relieved, I was overwhelmed with sadness.
I thought that my whole life had been taken away from me forcefully. I became physically sick for sometime and started to lose weight. Depression almost took over.

Bia no go rape the innocent girl o, biko

Lol @ this nigga

He wants to lay her.

Dies twice!!!

Lol this is funny.

Hey folks, let us all try something new.

Most of us have either experienced break ups or heard about them. Let's all share our experiences about the feeling that consumed us as we grieve(d) over the loss of a loved one (assuming some folks even felt sad at all ).

Don't mind them. Idiots.

After I spoke to the girl that I was disappointed, she felt guilty, and later apologized. We are now moving on.
Next time, she promises not to write anything incriminating inside her diary .

Thank everyone for the advise.

topup,

an addendum

Never make someone a priority when you are merely an option to them.

We are two in one, no My diry is your diary

Nice try though . Let's hope you like that answer.

I do.

Hey look nothing is wrong with your facebook. Keep your damn social networking profile. Just delete the dude if he's hampering you.

Hehe, did I ever mention that I have 3 blogs, and write a ton of poetry??

I think I should watch out for these friends, the same ones that come up to me and ask me; "hows the ex, have you heard from him, you haven't talked about him for a long time." or "despite what topup says, I think she WOULD take him back, because she's not strong enough."

Heartfelt real advice right there hehehe

Tope, tell this gay friends to stay out of your business. They are not helping you. If they are good friends they won't continue refreshing old wounds in your mind. What purpose does it serve, asking you about him? Tell them to stay out of your bisi

I am not trying to focus on appearing as if I'm moving on fast, but more on the issues. I need to understand why I linger over these things, and the funny thing is I'm lingering to find out why I linger.

Right now you are in denial about what you need to do to move past these worries in your mind.  You talk about focusing on the issues as if you did something wrong.  We have all read up on your situation and most of us came to the conclusion that you fell in love with the wrong person.  Unfortunately he was your first true love, so it's hard to get over him, but he won't be your last!  You knew what you wanted and you put in overtime, exhausted all possiblities, tried your hardest to make your relationship work.  He wasn't having any of that.  It's like working with a lazy partner at a job, or working on a team project while in school.  You did all you could but your partner didn't give a shit about the assigned work.

It's okay sweets.  Whenever you feel the need to talk, come here.  We are one big happy family, so we should be able to lean on each other for comfort.  Right now you need our brotherly/sisterly words of advice and that is exactly what we are going to give you.  As harsh or pleasant as they may seem, please try to understand that we all want the best for you - I know I do.  You don't have to wobble through this lonely road alone.

If you want to hear what I have to say, I think you're putting too much effort into trying to keep a relationship with your boy.  Even though you claim that's how you are.  You need to cut him of completely, in your heart, as a boyfriend and even as a friend or facebook buddy.  For the sake of your sanity you cannot be friends. You can't sit on your computer desk with your arms folded obsessing over his status messages on facebook or watching him upload pictures with new girls, watching him have fun with the boys. You will sit there moping, wanting what you can't have.  It will only serve as fuel to make you look back on your past relationship.  Friendship with him right now is not a good thing because you are not completely over him.  Give your heart time to fully heal.  Please  

o m g

why are you doing this to yourself?

Wow . You give this cockroach an inch and it lunges forward to take a mile.
I think you need to start making bold decisions for yourself. Do not base your decisions on these intense feelings being thrown out by your heart. Look at the facts and consult your head. It is over. You come first, not him. Those double personalities are not cool. One second you think he's being original, by apologizing, caring about your feelings. the next minute he's breaking appointments and blowing you off. You need to cut him off until you are strong enough to deal with all of this bs.

Freestyling. But I hear about it a lot. I like to equip myself with the right weapons, just in case.

hahaha yes I fucking love civilization. Everything you outlined makes so much sensei

Sweetie,
you are not being asked to do anything spiteful to him, or to do something that would intentionally hurt him. Facebook actually sounds like the best way to holler at him. Leave a public message on his wall wishing him a Happy Birthday. no strings attached, no hiding behind the wall to intend another meaning. nothing! just happy birthday.