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Romance › Re: Why Do Foreigners Do This When Chatting With Them On Social Media? by Cavenchy(m): 12:51pm On Mar 03, 2016*

For anyone uncertain about Chinese people and their views about blacks check this out.

https://www.facebook.com/elihudi.urassa.5/videos/1306303896081272/

1 Like

Romance › Re: 8 Misplaced Attributes Guys Check In A Lady That Land Them Into Bad Relationship by Cavenchy(m): 3:13am On Mar 03, 2016*

Funny thing is a girl who possesses a combination of all the listed things in first page from different NLders, would be Number 1 on most Nigerian men's lists. Observing one point as stand alone rarely ever occurs practically, people rarely marry just cos of Angelic voice alone, what if she looks like Abanobi aka. Cherise?

Romance › Re: ADVICE On The Best Gift To Give An EX On Her Wedding. by Cavenchy(m): 2:54am On Mar 03, 2016*

Don't go to the church oh, you don't want her changing her vows or fainting when they ask anyone to raise an objection. Pray for them, it's the best way to show your blessings on their marriage. Then go back and kiss the lady you will marry on her forehead, Thank God for her.

Romance › Re: Why Do Foreigners Do This When Chatting With Them On Social Media? by Cavenchy(m): 1:53am On Mar 03, 2016*

K9blunt:
Well, a comment or said white people have this kind of distant attitude to strangers, like if you're meeting a white person for the first time they will give you like one or two steps distance then maybe after some time they can be as close to you as ever. There are indeed racist white, but I believe on can earn his/her respect by being humble , observant, respectful yet unattached/minding ones business, which clearly most of us Nigerians lack .

Anyhow jare, na dem sabi

Well you aren't far from the fact, but why should blacks feel the need to be close to others to feel relevant, that I would probably never understand. Racists exist, true that. They aren't perfect, just as the many tribalists in Nigeria aren't either. However, you can't change them simply because you want them to. Not everyone would accept you, the sooner you understand that, the easier life becomes for you. The key is to not bother about acceptance, cos though some would like you on first acquaintance, some would still hold back, some of them have been told awful stories about blacks, some are plain scared that blacks want revenge for the inhumanity of their forefathers, some are unexposed like most tribalists in Africa tend to be also. The fact someone is white doesn't mean they cant be uneducated or naive as well. In most westernised cultures, people are only bothered about being at good relations with the people relevant to their direction in life, they just won't feel the need to accept everyone cos it's not their culture, it's not in their character to just go happily greeting strangers, some cultures would see this as a symptom of drunkeness or insanity. So they won't run to Africa expecting everyone there to accept them, it would even alarm them to find so much attention thrown at them by strangers there. So, I don't see why Africans should go to theirs and expect same treatment.

2 Likes

Romance › Re: Why Do Foreigners Do This When Chatting With Them On Social Media? by Cavenchy(m): 1:39am On Mar 03, 2016*

K9blunt:
I read a thread about one fellow Nigerian in Canada claiming to have experienced racism from a couple of caucacian Canadians. He did not expect the bashing he got from here on Nl . he said he greeted one of the whites on a busstop but the man white man ignored him and shifted to another corner, when they all got into the bus the white man sat next to another white person(a woman) and both of them where discussing. According to the Nigerian he felt insulted and he noticed the couple talking and laughing they didn't even bother to mask they weren't laughing at the Nigerian guy.

From that experience , I observed that many of us Nigerians have serious inferiority complex. First in Nigeria, we find it hard to greet strangers but abroad some of us make it a do or die affair to greet strangers because they are white. Its unfortunate.

The reason he got a bashing from NLders is unknown to me but this is what I envisage transpired between the two parties in the event :

1. The white man was probably racist(Not everyone is perfect).
2. Some cultures observe the "Mama taught me not to speak to strangers" even till old age. So perhaps you shouldn't go saying hi to people you don't know. They most likely would ignore you or worse (common in the states) get a loud "eat sh*t" or d middle finger. And this isn't even usually directed at victims of racism but it's common when you say hi to someone having a really bad day, it's that culture.
3. The white man probably thought the guy was gonna ask him for some change.
4. Most people in the western world do not expect strangers to be nice, children don't even greet adults, therefore it might be wierd to the man that the guy decided to say hi to him.
5. Most unlikely reason - he didn't hear the greeting.

1 Like

Romance › Re: Why Do Foreigners Do This When Chatting With Them On Social Media? by Cavenchy(m): 1:19am On Mar 03, 2016*

K9blunt:
I appreciate your observation. And you're right, one can't go to Rome with the mindset of his/her country home and expect romans to treat it with respect.

I appreciate your honesty as well. A few more notes to others that might read this.

To avoid problems with foreigners, study their way of life before you venture into their territory. In Uk for example, people tend to mind their business an awful lot. If you go in expecting them to be wowed by your Gucci jewelery or to just jump out of a corner and say kilonshele or how far the way Nigerians do to strangers, you would be in for a great culture shock, I've seen a lot of Nigerians call people racist when they were just simply expecting Londoners to act Nigerian. It just doesn't work that way. Now on the other hand, Chinese people don't speak too much English, but they are good at reading emotions, they can read your emotions even when you insult them in your local tongue or when you plainly don't like them...ever wondered why they use so many smileys as well as dolls and teddybears?

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Romance › Re: Why Do Foreigners Do This When Chatting With Them On Social Media? by Cavenchy(m): 1:06am On Mar 03, 2016*

K9blunt:
If you're Caucasian is when they will worship you, not negro, some of them are neutral, most are not comfortable around negroes , few of them are hostile towards negroes (mostly Nigerians). So therefore I don't believe in that statement, it you like speak the Queen's accent, Asians won't give a hoot.

Though i've never never been there so my opinions are based on people I know that have been.

I'm glad you said the truth that you've never been there, where I live, I deal with a lot of Asians and have many of them as close friends. To be honest, they aren't at all what your friends make them out to be. I've only noticed that many uncultured Africans treat them with disdain(or less regard) and even make fun of them cos of their language and looks. They won't be friendly with you if you come across as overbearing or they feel that you look down on them. Trust me, a lot of Nigerians tend to do this and don't even know they are being rude. The good Nigerians I know have no problems with them, if you look friendly, they will be friendly. Nigerians need to stop judging every nation by Nigerian standards, people have their different cultures and if you don't respect them, they won't respect yours.

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Romance › Re: Why Do Foreigners Do This When Chatting With Them On Social Media? by Cavenchy(m): 12:52am On Mar 03, 2016*

K9blunt:
Adonbuluvyu!

They will if your English is impeccable and your accent is British or American. More so if you are Caucasian.

Romance › Re: Why Do Foreigners Do This When Chatting With Them On Social Media? by Cavenchy(m): 5:12am On Mar 02, 2016*

Wow what a thread, Chinese people I've come across are usually very nice and courteous (has something to do with their culture). The lady was probably just being nice. One thing you need to understand about Asians (in general) is that they are very inquisitive, if you have a talk with an Indian or Pakistani, you are bound to receive more questions, its kinda how they converse with someone they just met, you're bound to hear things that sound like: "What currency you use? Where you work? How much they pay you? How long you work?" and its more as a result of curiousity than being an as.s. With Chinese, in my experience, they are usually impressed with anyone who speaks impeccable English especially if they are still learning or trying to improve on their English Language, they don't find a lot of people in China to speak English with so they rely on the internet to fuel this need. She was just happy to chat, if you had told her where you were from, rather than get a sudden ....(you know what), you would be surprised she would ask, you write very good English (you might also find this offensive) but she's just inquisitive and impressed as they usually see learning English as a huge achievement especially when you aren't from an English Speaking country(they usually wont know this until you tell them). Rule number 1 in dealing with foreigners: Don't expect them to know a lot about where you are from unless you are From a World Power Country. You usually have to educate them on a lot of stuff but don't push it, they really don't wanna know if they aren't planning a holiday in tinapa. I doubt that they have a lot of tv commercials with 'Save the African child' slogans showing malnourished unclad African children being breastfed in Chinese Media as much as they do in the US, UK or other European countries, and those are the people more likely to be disgusted after they find out where you live.

Crime › Re: (graphic Pics)inhumane Treatment Of African Slaves Like You've Never Seen Before by Cavenchy(m): 4:25am On Mar 02, 2016

3kay945:
What was their crime

Born Black.

Now what irritates me in these photos is the way they all pose for the camera like they are proud of what they have done, and some people have the guts to call Africans babarians.

Let us put the past behind us, and look forward to ending this race war that has raged on for decades, no matter what colour our skin, we all bleed red. Promoting pictures like this would only fuel hate not goodwill. All the people in these photos are probably dead by now. They'll answer to the most High who created every race.

4 Likes

Romance › Re: Rate. My Dp... by Cavenchy(m): 3:06am On Mar 02, 2016*

Who are we to rate God's creation. We are beautifully and wonderfully made.

@OP, Value is relative, no one here is perfect, believe the best about yourself.

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Celebrities › Re: Which Of These Phones Was Your First(photo) by Cavenchy(m): 3:01am On Mar 02, 2016

Samsung r220 aka blueface, I don't see it here tho

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Jokes Etc › Re: Photo: When The Conductor Knowns You Just Entered One Chance by Cavenchy(m): 2:06am On Mar 02, 2016

lizpedra:
no vex I don upload am

Ok I've edited my post

Family › Re: Akwa-Ibom Baby Left To Starve & Die For Being A Witch In Healthy-Looking Photos by Cavenchy(m): 2:00am On Mar 02, 2016

Wow, he looks hella healthy now. Good thing he wasn't killed by his fam.

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Jokes Etc › Re: Photo: When The Conductor Knowns You Just Entered One Chance by Cavenchy(m): 1:46am On Mar 02, 2016*

Lol!!!! Enter with your money, Change no dey oh!

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Romance › Re: Counter Thread: Difference Between Dating A Girl And Dating A Woman by Cavenchy(m): 1:39am On Mar 02, 2016*

Counter thread on point

Politics › Re: Osinbajo: GEJ, Yar’adua Didn’t Build A Single Road. The Cable. by Cavenchy(m): 11:09pm On Feb 26, 2016

The deplorable state of roads in the country required immediate attention. I would rather support the rehabilitation of key road networks than build totally new ones and leaving the existing key roads to infrastructural decay, in only a matter of time the new ones would need maintenance as well(More funds). However, I would have expected the honourable Vice President to list areas that require brand new roads that haven't been built. If he is implying that there were enough funds to do both then he may have a valid point.

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Jokes Etc › Re: My Girlfriend Left Me Because I Inherited This From My Grandfather!!! by Cavenchy(m): 10:20pm On Feb 26, 2016

Thank your grandfather's spirit. He just saved you from the fake gf holding your future bound. You are free, watch how your success would quadruple from now on.

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TV/Movies › Re: 5 Funny Yet Annoying Things Nigerians Do At The Cinema by Cavenchy(m): 5:10pm On Feb 26, 2016

The snoring team!

I remember once when we (me and friends) went to the cinema and half way into the movie, this guy in the row before us slept off and started snoring heavily like a grinding machine.

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Romance › Re: Drop A Lyric Of A Song And Let Someone Tell You The Title Of The Song. by Cavenchy(m): 3:23pm On Feb 26, 2016*

mjswthrt:
hmmmm lemme just believe u with fear

Fear not

Romance › Re: Drop A Lyric Of A Song And Let Someone Tell You The Title Of The Song. by Cavenchy(m): 2:36pm On Feb 26, 2016*

mjswthrt:
wow! Ur correct buh wait oh na lipstick u rub for ur lips??

Lol, no it's natural. Funny gal.

Romance › Re: Drop A Lyric Of A Song And Let Someone Tell You The Title Of The Song. by Cavenchy(m): 1:57pm On Feb 26, 2016*

mjswthrt:
Whether you call am kanu abi na kunu you like u call am kenu abi na jugunu wetin I know be say em name na papilo wetin I know be say my guy e dey flow I say the man, the man e carry the ball I say the man e carry the ball e go to the right he beat number one e go to the left e beat number three e give am to olise olise to west and west to yaro and yaro to okocha okocha to finidi finidi to agali agali to agahowa agahowa to the net e ooooh......oya who sing am

I would have said Emeka Rollas, but I remember this quite well and the guy singing was much darker. It was Austino Milado - Super Eagles carry go.

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Romance › Re: Drop A Lyric Of A Song And Let Someone Tell You The Title Of The Song. by Cavenchy(m): 1:51pm On Feb 26, 2016*

rheether:
Confirm you there!! You deserve a kiss jhoor.

Lol, Shawn might get jealous.

Romance › Re: Drop A Lyric Of A Song And Let Someone Tell You The Title Of The Song. by Cavenchy(m): 4:27am On Feb 26, 2016*

rheether:
thought that I've been hurt before
But no one's ever left me quite this sore
Your words cut deeper than a knife
Now I need someone to breathe me back to life
Got a feeling that I'm going under
But I know that I'll make it out alive
If I quit calling you my lover
Move on
You watch me bleed until I can't breathe
I'm shaking, falling onto my knees
And now that I'm without your kisses
I'll be needing stitches
Tripping over myself,
Aching, begging you to come help
And now that I'm without your kisses
I'll be needing stitches

Stitches - Shawn Mendes

Jobs/Vacancies › Re: Finally A Place For My Industrial Training (IT) by Cavenchy(m): 11:41pm On Feb 25, 2016

please see my recommendation to the situation you raised in the new thread. cheers and best wishes.

Career › Re: My Boss Is Asking Me Out On A Date by Cavenchy(m): 11:20pm On Feb 25, 2016*

I dont know if what I'm about to post here would make much difference but I hope you get to read this. So here goes...

1. You have just been there a month and he is already making several advances, his intention is less likely to be a good one nor one that lasts.
2. Do you know how many other IT placement girls he's probably approached in all his years there? What if he has an STD.
3. He is probably married, and if he is, remember this: Do to others as you wish to be done unto you.
4. His wife or partner may find out and disfigure you if not kill you. You are only there for IT.
5. He might still not recommend you for a job in the future if that's what you are thinking, cos he would have nothing to benefit if he gets all he wants now.

Now to my recommendation
1. Dress more decently to work if you aren't already doing so. if you are, double the decency. (I know some pretty girls back in my youth service days that tied hijab-looking attires to their workplace (and these were Christian girls) cos they heard the boss was a grossly obsessed randy savage).
2. Avoid staying in the same immediate environment for longer than feasible, limit it as much as you can.
3. Keep it official and do not give opportunity for dates or 'I'm your boss, let me take my employee out' kinda thing.
4. If he offers to drop you off, try to always get another IT student to tag along with you so its awkward for him to bring up any weird convo.
5. If he offers you something nice, tell him your mum taught you to only accept things you have worked for. If he laughs at you(and he probably will, if he is a bad guy), say yes you are proud of it, if he insists, politely decline until he proves you have earned what he is giving.

Career › Re: Please Help, Am Confused About The Better Job by Cavenchy(m): 10:51pm On Feb 25, 2016

Agubushmenyo:
You nailed it Bro... Am so grateful.

No worries mate, best wishes for whatever decision you finally take, if you believe in God, pray about it as well. I see a lot of views on this thread, so don't forget to let us know what you eventually decide to do, it might help others in similar situation.

Cheers.

Career › Re: Please Help, Am Confused About The Better Job by Cavenchy(m): 10:33pm On Feb 25, 2016

Agubushmenyo:
I love your analysis bro. Let me tell you some facts
1) I will spend about 400 naira on transportation everyday in Lagos
2) I won't do any Time involved business when I start this job.
3) My immediate elder bro will house me, feed me, so as to enable me save for a while(according to him).

So what do you think?

There is more to this decision than just present cost of transportation, or your brother's statements (These things aren't set in stone and can change as they are outside your control and are mostly short term). I would rather suggest you focus more on the prospects of your future progression at the moment and how you see yourself actually turning out better equipped professionally and financially independent in the long term. So I would repeat these questions again, and you can answer them in your heart as you are in best position to know what's best, I'm only spurring you to critically analyse yourself personally. So here goes..
How soon would the Ibadan firm start paying? what are their plans for you in the long term based on your observation (not theirs)? how soon would they get their contracts/clients all set up? Would the Ibadan coy still give you time for the business when they start paying you 50k? Cos you can always find contract jobs in Lagos for those days you wont be working and Ibadan isn't far away, your brother could offer a temporary pad to rest for when you have to drop in to deliver a quick weekend training to a firm and you wouldn't become such a huge responsibility for him. As for the Lagos coy, what savings do you intend to make if you would not find time for other businesses which I believe previously helped you pay up your accommodation in Ibadan? You best know what you are saving for, and if the money is more important to you than career progression, it's a good opportunity to maximize the opportunity to save depending on your target considering how much you are currently being offered vs how much you currently make from your side businesses. If you see working in Lagos as an opportunity to move to other well paying firms later on, this might work, but also consider that if you would be working round the clock all week, you might not even find the time to attend an interview. But the choice is yours.

1 Like

Career › Re: Please Help, Am Confused About The Better Job by Cavenchy(m): 9:55pm On Feb 25, 2016*

Okay I have seen your thread. Time to analyse.

First look and weigh your options
IBADAN VS LAGOS

IBADAN
No current pay, but 'likely' in the future (How soon is this?) and how do you pay for your house where you currently live? Are the other things you do to make up for the non salary payment specific to Ibadan alone? How soon is your house rent due for renewal?

Freedom to work other jobs, 'Is this freedom likely to continue after you start getting paid 50k by the firm? What are the reasonably foreseeable prospects of the firm? Do you get to progress with the firm? Possible promotion to lead trainer or professional consultant for the company on training affairs? or do you remain in the same role indefinitely?

LAGOS
50k from the start and housing provided by brother, does your brother live close to the place of work? What would be the cost of transportation compared to the salary? Trust me Lagos is not so big but it could appear so due to the traffic issues and you might end up spending more money on transportation as well as time and stress coupled with getting from one part of lagos to the other.

Restricted freedom on jobs, Can you continue the other businesses you were doing while at ibadan in lagos too? Is it possible to finance your own place (yes, you most likely would eventually need to get yours) with the wages + business profit in Lagos? Likewise, do you get progression or are you likely to learn and expand your professional portfolio with their client base? Are they a larger company with more opportunities for intellectual growth and earnings?

SOME RECOMMENDATIONS
Based on your answers to the above, most of your indecisions would be rectified, but i'll add a few points. If your cost is more than earnings in the lagos coy, you can suggest a higher pay if you think it is still possible, if they refuse, you can still stay back to work in Ibadan.
Similarly, if it appears the Ibadan firm would not be likely to pay you in the nearest future, then they might just be using you and in that case you need to move.

However, I think 50k for a professional trainer is not a fair deal, but I might be wrong as I have heard some people can actually survive on less than 5 dollars a day in Nigeria, I doubt that is applicable to someone who works in a place like lagos, where they are likely to spend twice that amount on transportation alone to commute to and from their place of work. If you do the metrics, the pay is almost not commiserate with the standard of living and the skills and experience you bring the firm imo, so if you must work in the lagos firm, I think they should offer something more attractive. As my signature says, value is relative. You can apply that to your situation, weigh the pros and cons of where you are and where you need to be based on the value you attach to your situation.

3 Likes

Education › Re: Unemployment: I Am Losing Interest In Studies!! by Cavenchy(m): 7:37am On Feb 21, 2016*

Op I think you should pay attention to what laidback and some well meaning nairalanders here have suggested. Here is my analysis:

It takes nothing out of you to finish up your course, rather it adds to your bragging rights. The last thing you want is to be faced with an opportunity and you don't have the paper qualifications to back up what you know. The world is a tough place, people don't have the time to give you a trial period or a second chance to reveal your worth, your qualifications would do most of the talking in your absence.
Now more importantly, you think you are making money now from your few transactions, well yes it looks like cool money now cos you are still a student and the world hasn't heaved it's weight of responsibilities on you yet. Those small courses you are relying on, can only take you as far as you are willing to go with them. An example: When most of us had our undergrad education, some of the technologies existing now where not fully developed, some none existent at the time. Whatever it is we thought was the future has become obsolete cos the world is developing every year and faster. Keeping up with the trend is a life long struggle. Your today's computer course might no longer be used 5 years down the line, however, your university certificate never gets obsolete, it's yours, it's your bargaining power to get your foot past that door and into the board room to reveal what you have been doing with your brain even after graduation, studying never ends cos new stuff would always be discovered by researchers.

My advice: Do both. Get your degree and learn your computer/technical courses as well, you never know when someone would go digging into your background to vett your professional audacity. If you go the business route, you don't want competitors nicking your clients after telling them you aren't a professional cos you didn't get a degree.

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Properties › Re: How Much Would It Cost Me To Complete This 3Bedroom Bungalow? by Cavenchy(m): 6:08pm On Feb 15, 2016

The best thing to do is work with the maximum you can afford to spend on the building project. Factor in unforeseen costs for circumstances like dubious contractors, material loss, vandalism and inflation as well. Budget at least 80% more than you envisage. Thank me later.

Romance › Re: The iPhone My Girlfriend Gave Me As Valentine's Gift by Cavenchy(m): 5:16pm On Feb 15, 2016*

ariyike23:
You jes cracked me up ril bad.. Yes maam.. Wateva yu say

At least you ended it on a humorous note. Maturity right there.

1 Like

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