₦airaland Forum

Hi I just bumped into this thread. I had a similar dream some years ago, I was in Nigeria at the time and didn't know I would be travelling anywhere soon. In the dream, I saw my self in a foreign land, picture the scenery of large green fields, colourful structures, like ''Harry Porter quidditch games arena or what you would see in the brazil world cup soccer cartoon''.

In the dream, everyone looked happy going about their normal business. Then I observed a man on ground-level looking up at a tall colourful slender building with an aperture at the top. There was someone looking down out of the aperture, and the person dropped a plate of glass from the height, the man at the bottom tries to catch it and returns to catch the next. The glasses kept dropping for a while and the man at the bottom kept catching them. I was still admiring the scene, After a while, the glasses started falling faster, the man at the bottom really (and I mean it, Really!) tried his best to keep up with the rate and speed of the falling glasses, then the glasses stopped falling flat but came with their sharp edges facing downwards. At this point, the man at the bottom could no longer keep up, and the man at the aperture seemed like he was covered by clouds cos I couldn't see him either. The glasses soon started to fall everywhere, and people started running helter scatter. There was chaos and then I heard a big voice, immediately I heard the voice, I looked up and saw black ugly creatures in great number descend on the fleeing crowd, grabbing people at will, there was a great wall that barricaded the area on one end, this wall reached from the ground all the way up as high as the eyes could possibly see, they kept grabbing people and I ran, but not long after, they grabbed me too(I've had these sort of dreams before but I've never been caught), I wrestled with all the strength I had in me, but these seemingly meagre winged black creatures had their grips on tight to my wrists and flew towards the wall, I don't know how I knew but I could tell these creatures didn't mean well for me or anyone. They were headed towards the wall and I noticed there was a huge graffiti on the wall, a very disorgarnised looking graffiti that made no sense to anything comprehendible, I only remember the colours the graffiti was made of. Red and yellow. As we drew closer to the wall, I could see people being whisked into the wall by the other winged creatures and they seemed to disappear like they were absorbed into the graffiti. The more I saw this, the more I struggled to get free but you wont believe what happened afterwards, These creatures were preparing to swing me into the giant graffiti on the wall and immediately, like lightning, a giant hand in a white shiny robe from the left of (my view towards my right) whipped these creatures with so much intensity than one could ever imagine possible. The winged creatures lost balance and the hand sort of hugged me and pulled me gently backwards, I could see the graffiti wall in front of me lose distance as I glided backwards. Then immediately, I woke up and my right leg was still shaking like something was trying to pull me.

I must say I cried when I prayed that early morning.


@Sweetrosa . Like you I am a catholic, the fears you have are normal but don't listen to people accusing the church founded by our Lord Jesus Christ, your priest is not to blame. I know the problem most catholics have, they do not join societies and complain they don't get enough. Well thank God I met you, so I can tell you how catholics designed the system for people to achieve spiritual growth. There are many societies in the church you could join to fulfil your religious obligations. I would recommend you join a devotional society if you have such dreams, it could mean God sees you as someone who understands Him and sees life differently from the way many people who are worldly do. I am sure you are not materialistic either. Even when you have so much, you always have the feelings of others in your heart. Trust me, it's not coincidence, God gave you that gift. I suggest you join a devotional society like Legion of Mary or Sacred Heart of Jesus. You can also join another Saint society or ''Praying for Souls in Purgatory society'' as an addition if you can find time for it. Be blessed.

Good answers so far. I believe we should be looking at future Presidents of Nigeria who could be said to have once used Nairaland and inspired many through it. There is no greater way to control people's outlook on life and hopes than through the medium they use most - mass media. This forum accomplishes such, and has more potential.

Therefore I enjoin you all contenders and anyone else who cares to read this in a position of influence: No position held in life should be considered a fun gathering venture only, its an opportunity providence has given you to change minds. Of course you would face criticisms, but you have to understand what you did or what they think you did, might be affecting the critic for them to bother about informing you, therefore one must handle these in ways that help you and the situation improve whether you are directly involved or not, as long as it is within your jurisdiction to do so. I hope our leaders including presidents, past, present and future would read this.

Bless ya.

Come on guys, answer my question, Nairalanders are waiting

@
Lamispaco, Iamkingzlee, Jayhans, Tomfrench, Kizmarty, Warriboy21

eller5267:
Explain please

I think she thought you were posting about the topic, but you were replying someone who referenced your age to the size of your behind.

I've got questions for you lot (The contenders).

1. How do you respond to criticism in

a) When you are accused wrongly
b) When your crumple button is pushed. (Crumple button= Something you are very insecure or less confident about e.g Education limits, Wealth, Height, English command, Romance experience etc).



2. Why do you think Nairalanders need a Mr Nairaland and what would you do differently to inspire people in a way they would be happy they voted for you.


3. Where do you see yourself in life in the next 7 years?


Lamispaco, Iamkingzlee, Jayhans, Tomfrench, Kizmarty, Warriboy21

I'm off

I don't like the current topic derail to something else or....

Cos its the only way for uncontrollable men/women to have hopes of making heaven

Truckpusher:
Hehe....you're perfectly right except for one thing.

Which is?

Truckpusher:
The sky is up.

So we talking about the sky tonite yeah? Oh I forgot..Derailer's PARADISE is way above the clouds, so the sky is under.

Hey what's up people?

jamela:
Op there are three things here

1. Are you from same tribe? if not are his parents/family tribalists?


2. Are you resourceful? i.e what do you bring to the table? Are you supportive in ways no one else can? What do you say when he expects to make millions? Do you try to make practical steps to discuss how you both could do something to achieve it in ways he never saw possible? (or do you rather just smile and keep quiet like you expect him to go make the millions all on his own).


3. Does he use words like I, ME, MY, instead of US, WE, OUR? When you have your little discussions, does he tell you (even if jokingly) about plans he has that actually feature you and him in a family life? for example: that he plans to build a decent house so OUR kids in the future would have big rooms. Do you catch him playing with other people's kids (perhaps family) and then looks at you smiling? *I mean, 7yrs this should have happened at some point*


If your answer to the above is no.. there is a problem.
My 2p.

Interesting point.

1. The fault might be external Perhaps even his family or religion(denomination laws)

2. The fault might lie with her

3. The fault might lie with him.


Here's my advice to her -the poster

I have seen a relationship (two people very close to me so I know the story) grow from 100l to marriage proposal in 8years just like yours, they got married in the 9th. The difference is, they didn't wait for millions, they were both well educated and resourceful, they knew they loved each other and celebrated every happy and sad moment together. They came up with intelligent plans and consulted each of their families for financial support to carry their ingenious plans out. When things seemed better, they opened their own firm together and he popped the question, their wedding day was the inauguration of their firm and they been married with two kids at present. So like jamela mentioned, 7 years is enough for you to gather all your clues about the health of the relationship, if after 7 years you cant even speak to him without him getting angry, you can't tell if his family has issues with your relationship, you can't tell if he sees you in his future picture, then I can't tell what you both have been doing for 7 years.

p.s nothing screams ''wife her'' in a man's mind like the bolded part, Well done Jamela. Sex or getting pregnant wont do it for anyone who wants a happy married life.

Last comment!

Dexema:
When my moms nt at home iput on her clothes and pretend to be caitlyn jenner...........abeg na joke o!

Lol #dead

well happy birthday. Lol!

You are right madam

Either of these names depending on gender.
Alan, Carl, Jeremy, Charles, Keiran, James
Cynthia, Britney, Amanda, Beth, Candice.

texanomaly:
What you said here is important.



A mature man does not become involved with a child, no mater how mature her body or her education. A mature man would never have aloud this relationship to progress to "green light". He would have sent her on her way, or let her know in no uncertain terms that he had no interest in her romantically before things progressed this far.

If he couldn't resist he should have taken himself out of temptations way, because as you point out, he is the "mature" adult here. He should have saved her from herself instead of taking advantage of what is probably a teenage crush.

**********

I agree with the bolded. It is her age, not the age gap. What you said about regretting her actions later is likely to happen in this situation. Isn't it better to let her grow up and have a relationship later?

What happens when she wakes up one day, after they are married and have a child or two, and realizes she made a mistake in her impulsive, hormone ridden youth? It is too late then...especially if there are children involved.


Btw...a "well brought up" young lady does not give a grown man a "green light", and a mature, grown man does not entertain inappropriate thoughts or encourage a teen. At her age she is easily manipulated by the attentions of a more world wise and older man.

I made the assertion that she might be mature at 16 based on the fact that in many countries, 16 year olds are expected to be sensible. But from the points you have made so far especially the last paragraph, she might still be naïve afterall. The OP still hasn't given enough details about the supposed advances made by this young lady which he has termed green light. He should know better in this situation and not take advantage of her playful and willingly submissive character which is peculiar among young girls who haven't learnt how to control their emotions. He is supposed to be the mature one exhibiting self control in this situation. If he has genuine reasons for wanting to court her (e.g because he sees future wife qualities in her) he should cut out all forms of physical temptations for now and focus on building her from a psychologically mature point of view (No commitments), that way, even if she doesn't choose him later on, she wouldn't feel awkward or used, but would rather give him more respect for the role he played in moulding her life. The minute an elder starts doing bad things with children, he becomes their mate and loses his respect. Manipulating young girls in the 21st century is like a ticking time bomb, rude awakenings later in life could have severe consequences for one or both of them in the future, OP have you achieved your life aims? (i.e. are you ready to settle down?), Please don't let your urges lead you astray. You should be able to make your decisions with your experience and maturity.

texanomaly:
First, I wasn't talking about dating at all. Dating 100 men does not make you mature. She hasn't experienced life outside of the protective cocoon of her family and friends. Give her the chance to finish school at least.

Second, where do they go as a couple? He obviously knows his friends and family and her friends and family will not accept this. He wouldn't be here asking if he is crazy if he were confident in his chooses here =Point2= .

Third, will he isolate her from her friends? Her friends are 16ish, accept for him. Will he hang out with her friends? What about his friends, will he take his 16 year old gf to hang out with his almost 30 year old friends? =Point 1= (I'm sorry, I choke on saying that while I think of my own daughter. If he has a sister, would he wish this for her, or would he beat the guy to a pulp for even looking at his little sister?)

You have a point, however the heart doesn't care about age or class differences, people would only laugh at what you're ashamed of and respect what you honour. The truth is, the success is determined by his maturity and her's too (assuming she was well brought up and behaves matured like he says ''she acts 20'') should overcome whatever challenges they might encounter and people would soon begin to overlook the age difference.
However I would agree with you on two things:

1. The chances of her being mature enough to understand love and life are pretty slim for most girls her age though there are exceptions.

2. The chances of him being genuinely interested in a girl who he only describes as giving him the green light (he doesn't explain in details how the relationship goes beyond merely physical) or how he sees their future together. The OP might not know he is taking advantage of her naivety and think it's mutual. In UK for example, a girl can't give consent till she is 16, as it is assumed she doesn't fully comprehend her emotions and is likely to regret such actions afterwards.

I think the issue here might be her age rather than the gap. I agree he needs to let her mature (if he feels she probably isn't there yet), but I'm sure the OP knows her more than any of us do. I would advice him not to take advantage of the situation if his conscience tells him she is just being naïve.

When I was younger and mum wasn't home, I used to run out of the house wriggling my fingers at little white birds asking them to make my fingers like theirs. They weren't good sport and didn't let me play with them.

Leave am

texanomaly:
This girl has not lived. Give her time to mature in every way. Don't rob her of experiences that will help shape her into a mature adult. Give her the opportunity to grow into a strong mature woman. If you truly love her you wouldn't deny her that.

Technically, you're saying girls need to go through many Douchebags and heartbreaks for them to be mature in your eyes? I understand your concern, but a well-raised girl knows what the right thing to do is and doesn't need to date 100 men before she is mature enough to know when Mr.Right comes knocking. I would rather the OP prays about it, and if it doesn't work out accept the outcome and wish her the best.

Nice pics OP, but I think you should get a coloured pic if you do not want some people to have reservations. Even Obj looks cute in his black and white old school videos. Just some advice.

This video was scripted. He punches the bed instead of his friend and the girl doesn't run out of the room but stays in with her fake begging. Most cases like this the girl would run out of the room(even if its for a few minutes) for fear of the guy beating her too, how does she know her guy knows who approached who first? The dialogue of the supposed boyfriend with his girl is clearly boring doesn't look like a genuine talk between lovers.

shammahyaro:
I know of a dude who fell for a 12 yr old when he was 20,,,eventually he waited for her till she was 18,,,,and guess what??..the girl left him...... I undastnd wat u mean.. If it's true love it'lll stand the test of time........ Bro..listen to your heart not Nairalanders......

Hmm I hope you are not that girl oh. lol. Anyway good advice to the OP.

This is an opportunity to stop metropolitan unethical conduct. You heard the governor, now you are empowered. I enjoin all Nigerians to install dashcams in their vehicles. If you ride a bike, install a Gopro cam on your helmet. Record these people going against the directives of the government using the dashcams/Gopro and send them to the appropriate authorities. If you don't know them, post the video on youtube, someone who knows the authorities would see it and contact them. This is what people in developed countries do to keep the society in check. Let's kick out indiscipline from Nigeria. Long live FRN.

Why does this post have so little contributions? OP I am also far away just like you probably are. so here's my 2p. Watch Shark Tank on youtube (start from the first season) - Thank me later.

deavicky:
when has relationship turn into a lesson ground?

Life brings varied experiences, and experience (they say) is the best teacher, so I guess he meant relationships is one of such Life experiences.

Relationships go sour, some without reason, what matters is what you learn from your individual experience. I must commend the OP for turning a usually bitter topic into something positive.

zexzy:
Hello, the post is about lessons learnt from your previous relationship, I have stated mine, instead of analysing mine pls try to state yours if you have any.

True talk

justwise:
Unlike you i picked the section i disagreed with, that was why i highlighted the EU part which i see as scaremongering

I understand this is your thread, but it's not necessary for you to be the know-it-all just because you own it.

That said, just because you do not feel other people have a brain to make their research and have valuable opinions doesn't make them alarmist or scaremongers. The same original post you condemned had likes on it. You aren't the only one making judgements or reading these posts, a lot of people can relate to them other than yourself, including EU citizens.

I didn't think you were being sarcastic until you started saying same things to others with different mindsets to yours. I do not know General Shepherd, but once I saw you saying he failed to do research with such disdain, I knew the Mr Wise I once followed has become something else. Whatever happened to you, I hope you change soon enough.

A word is enough for the wise.

Thanks for the good advice you gave me when the times were good.

For now,

Officially Unfollowed

and ps: I don't expect you to miss me so forget saying you wont.