₦airaland Forum

@poster:

Awesome

I recently turned 65 and had to choose a new primary care physician for my Medicare program.

After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing "fairly well" for my age.

A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him,

"Do you think I will live to be 80?"

He asked: Do you smoke tobacco or drink alcoholic beverages?"

"Oh no," I replied. "I don't do drugs, either."

"Do you have many friends and entertain frequently?"

"I said, "No, I usually stay home and keep to myself".

"Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?"

I said, "No, my other doctor said that all red meat is unhealthy!"

"Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?"

"No, I don't," I said.

"Do you gamble, ride motorcycles, or have a lot of sex?"

"No," I said. "I don't do any of those things."

He looked at me and said, "Then why do you give a Bleep about how long you living?

Good Night and Good luck

she like it by the two's

a thief

but I have to dream about


what if I keep dreaming about blood

what game do you like?

Hacker syndrome
by Tad Deriso
http://www.ahajokes.com/com024.html

There is some compelling force in all Naughty Boys that seems to draw them to their computers every day. Why they get up at 4am to use the modem, and why they continue to rack up a truly incredible phone bill is beyond me.

Most computer areas, at your home or at your office, tend to be messy. Even you try to keep it clean, it is truly impossible. Whether it be empty Coke cans laying all around, soldering devices, electric diodes, computer parts, or integrated circuits, it is not only a pain for your mother to look at, but a prime Russian ICBM missile target as well.

There is much detail needed to explain a Hacker. For instance, instead of organizing his clothes by color, best ones, or style, he organizes his by pile. Also, he likes to sing songs such as, "Let's get Digital", "We all live in a yellow subroutine", and "Somewhere over the RAMbow".

Most Naughty Boys do well in school. The reason is not to impress their teachers, not to get money from their parents, and not to be educated, but they do it so they can hopefully get a scholarship to MIT. You can't blame them, though, if they are looking out into space. It might be because they are worried if MCI traced the calls that they sent to NORAD.

All Naughty Boys, big or small, love computers, whether they be Trash-80's or an IBM 360/VM workstation. When they get on one, it's mighty hard to get them off of it.

There are 2 types of Naughty Boys. One who likes to crash local BBS's, and the one who writes programs in Assembly Language. The Hacker who crashes systems is the one that most people think that a Hacker is. A typical example of one is John Fredrickson (A.K.A. "The Phone Man". He loves to crash computers, and break into illegal systems. The ones that he has gotten in to are MCI, CitiBank, school systems, IBM, Southern Bell, and Georgia Tech, not to mention all the ones in between.

The second type of Hacker is the programmer. He writes games, utilities, and anything else that he can think of. Take for example, John Harris, a freelance software writer for On-Line Software Co. John had a brainstorm one day, and decided to write Frogger for the Apple. He thought that it would take about 3 weeks to complete. He started on Frogger a week late, because of the complicated music set that he had to write. After two months, he was almost done. He decided to take a break and go to the Software Expo. He decided to take his nearly completed Frogger, and show it to the consumers at the show. He also took with him the only back-up copy, in case the main disk did not boot.

While at the fair, he was talking to the Manager about getting a booth. He had his disks with him. Then, when he got a booth reserved, he reached down to get his disks, and they were gone! All his hard work, including the MultiLevel character generator, music lines, disk subroutines, assembly routines, debugging programs, etc. All gone.

After that tragedy, John was in a deep depression. He finally started working on it again in 3 months. He completed it in 4 months and 3 days.

Part Two:

Naughty Boys always take time off. There is always one way to notice a true Hacker. At a party, the true Hacker is the one in the corner talking about operating system security and how to get around it. At the beach, the True Hacker is the one drawing flow charts in the sand. At a football game, the true Hacker is the one comparing the football plays against a simulation printed on 11 by 14 fanfold paper.

Most Naughty Boys work for the US. Government-- mainly the Department of Defense. You can see the best Naughty Boys at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory in California.

What sort of environment does a Hacker function best in? No, not a heated room with a clean table and disks organized neatly, but they do best in rooms that have line-printed Snoopy calendars from the year 1969. They do not know how to cook, so they survive on Twinkies and coffee. Instead of wasting electricity for a heater, they spend it on air-conditioners to cool of their computer system in mid-January when the temperatures are below freezing. They wear layers and layers of clothing to keep the body heat in. When you see one of these people, instead of a Hacker coming into your mind, you think that he is about to go on a Polar expedition somewhere in the North Pole.

Naughty Boys also like to hang around arcades. (This is also true for kids, little old ladies, and fighter pilots.) There, secluded in their

own environment, Naughty Boys can talk freely on computer hints and short cuts while playing Pac-Man, or Joust.

All Naughty Boys like Graphics. They like low-resolution, but prefer high-resolution the best. These graphics, such as Sine waves, rotating 3-D boxes, and little balloons, are confined to the limits of a systems capability. The older more experienced Naughty Boys are the ones who are lucky enough to get to work on a VAX system, and maybe even a CRAY-1 SuperComputer. If they use these, they have only the limits of their imagination to stop them.

Most Middle School Naughty Boys between the ages of 10 through 14, like to use computers to do reports on, and play games. Some of these younger generation Naughty Boys have gotten into BASIC programming.

Some people, like to impress real Naughty Boys by making them think that they know everything. There is a name for this kind of person. He is a Sub-Hacker (Intillectuous dumbfoundeth). For instance, you come up to them one day, and say,"Hey so-and-so what does BASIC stand for?" and you could sit there for days, and he would act like the answer was on the tip of his tongue, when it was probably in his toes. It is people like this that give Naughty Boys a bad name.

Part Three:

All Naughty Boys have rules that they go by. One is to never call long distance on Monday, because of the high phone charge. If builders built buildings they way programmers wrote programs, the first woodpecker that comes along would destroy civilization. Another is, if the computer accepts a program on the first run without any errors, either there is a malfunction, or it must be a dream.

Naughty Boys are a unique breed. Combining intelligence, personality, and a morale sense of good taste. A Hacker enjoys the environment that appeals to him the most. Such as, the computer room, the arcade, science lab, or the Atari downstairs. They like to be alone. Secluded in their own thoughts, thinking of what the password could be to log on to General Electric. Naughty Boys are the people who are going to make our future brighter, and more exciting in the field of electronics, data processing, artificial intelligence, and programming. We need to support these people in all the ways that we can, so we will be insured of a more happier future in the world of technological advancements.

U KNOW WHO U R

Make it the first and the last time you Bleep with my computer.  [size=30pt]IT'S A FEDERAL CRIME[/size]

[size=22pt]NUFF SAID[/size]

telling me to go to bed. Not your kid. Grown ass woman going ovah papers.

now take your "CLONE" self and go to bed - again

Good Night. Sleep tight and don't let the bed bugs bite

there are many who abuse the priveleges the lord bestowed upon them as well as use others for their own gain. rest assured, they will be tried accordingly. and every account on earth shall be returned to them in a neat, tightly wound package, so sayeth the lord.

there are many who abuse the priveleges the lord bestowed upon them as well as use others for their own gain. rest assured, they will be tried accordingly. and every account on earth shall be returned to them in a neat, tightly wound package, so sayeth the lord.

A Somalian arrives in Seattle as a new immigrant to the United States . He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says, "Thank you, Mr. American, for letting me in this country, giving me housing, food stamps, free medical care, and free education!"

The passerby says, "You are mistaken, I am Mexican."

The man goes on and encounters another passerby." Thank you for having such a beautiful country here in America !"

The person says, "I not American, I Vietnamese."

The new arrival walks further, and the next person he sees he stops, shakes his hand and says, "Thank you for the wonderful America !"

That person puts up his hand and says, "I am from Middle East , I am not American!"

He finally sees a nice lady and asks, "Are you an American?"
She says, "No, I am from Africa !"

Puzzled, he asks her, "Where are all the Americans?"

The African lady checks her watch and says ,
"Probably at work."

If a man doesn't work, he should not eat.
If you are working, as a housewife, a gardener, a roofer, something, any type of honorable work, then, you deserve food, clothing, and a roof over your head.

The hi-jacking of your life

yes it but it can be cured

seh, y'll women can really speak ill of men. 

lmbao

Late for Bible Class

A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could, trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran she prayed, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!"

While she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell, getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She got up, brushed herself off, and started running again. As she ran she once again began to pray, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late, But please don't shove me either!"

lost

ram goat liver

see duppee deh

Mothumbs up Mohaw

.

;d ;d ;d

@ poster:

you seeing duppee

.

I really hope you posted this for 'shock value,' otherwise some mother is clueless as to the trifling son she has raised.

jayb:
its difficult to let go someone u love, i had the most perfect girl in world. i broke up wit her because she was travelling to england to study (THOT IT WAS 4 THE BEST) . that was d greatest mistake of my Life. Now i couldnt seem find anygirl to replace her, i calld her once to ask if her feelings 4 me were stil strong, she cudnt answer, she already has another guy. im stil in lov wit her, but, this is so fukd up

(Watch out 4 part 2), lol















<LOVE STORY>

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aZ0BpzVRQPc

male? then why were you wearing a female dress?