₦airaland Forum

ogyunging:
Sorry for your loss chatinent
The dude must be a strong brain illusionist or the baba wey cook am get level.
Take your L in peace, mind you it's a Lesson not a Loss. Nature no go gree the guy go Scot free. You fit just jam the guy on a random day. Always be guiding my bro.
Streets still be streets.

Boss, if I jam that dude for road, I go beat four years commot en age asswear.

Daveambition:
Lol...
This same jazzman fit dey up in here for Nairalander dey confam ur post with smiles on his face...

Definitely...many days for the thief they say.

His number is 09073542987. Beware, fam.

Daveambition:
Na mostly inside Lagos + Ibadan those kinda jazz rampant..

BTW; I fancy people wey too sabi English lyk mahd..
Op ur head dey book
Sorry say local man still use you top-up..

Man, this uncle came in with the iPhone12 and was putting it close to my phone. I removed my phone twice to see his phone close again as though it was a marriage thing. He wore a short-sleeved tartan senator with an Oxford shoe scenting all Nivea. Clean shaven, and seemingly cultured...

He was all praising this his imaginery wife whose photo was a screensaver. I could hear him telling my boy from a distance. He speaks calmly as sb with a British accent until you hear him speak pidgin. That could have rang a bell but the otomopko already had me in its armpit.

Mastakija:
na jazz them him use give u
No b one yeye hippopotamus

Well, anyways, the baba wey do that jazz strong. I have literally not behaved so stupidly all my life. Mehn, I was hopping..to jogging..to running to go and buy nlyon of ₦300 each at the junction! Sth that was sold downstairs!

slawormiir:
Damnnn niggarrrr
You don loose guard

No need for all these big big grammar

Guy, If you know me in person, you go know say e go hard normal normal without premium otumokpo make person run me street..e better make camel enter needle eye. I don dey street from birth. I am also very tech-savvy. This event was just sth of red beads and calabash.

I have.

Sb came to my store, discussed and bought goods that's worth ₦34k (after 20% discount since he said he wanted to celebrate his wife on their anniversary, the same day).

He sent me on an errand to get him a bigger nylon to pack sth. I did. I didn't know what was happening to me..even when I wanted to tell my boy to watch him closely, sth else like a force was just making my mind focus on going to buy the stuff.

I couldn't even remember to send my boy! At that period, what was in my head was humility and the customer-are-money dogma bla bla.

After buying it, the man asked for my account number, I spelled it out to him. I only remember him calling my name to confirm it's my account and saying he has sent it...after he made jest of my all-English name attributing it to names yahoo boys usually like to use. I was laughing sheepishly. (When I remember this, I want to hit myself so hard).

I was struggling so hard to tell him to wait so I'd confirm it. Before I could understand what was happening, he was gone. That was the exact moment my hibernated brain came back to normal.

I immediately dialed his number he gave me on TrueCaller. I saw Engr Daniel.Criminal. His number is 09073542987.



My human felt cold. Clearly, I was barking up the wrong tree.


I immediately went to see if I could see the uncle, he was gone at the drop of the hat for life. Drastic times call for drastic measures so I followed a route I felt he took swiping my big head left-to-right and right-to-left for two hours perusing the streets, junctions, and parks if my eyes would capture a manly figure holding two bags of my goods. I was really off my rocker.

I came back..it was pellucid I was hitting a dead horse. I no just know if na to cry or laugh..I come back come wear forced smile like mumu sidon. I could not blame the boy who attended to him. It was a clear case of hypnosis. The boy was more confused than I was.


A neighbor was telling me it's a new tactics that's in vogue. Another neighbor who heard about it exclaimed and said hers was bigger. She sells laptops. The person ordered her to pack four new MacBooks in his car with their sales of ₦700k that day. He didn't use a gun. He came, sat down, ordered her to go bring the ₦500k handy and also go withdraw the ₦200k they had earlier deposited to the bank via transfer. She withdrew on POS and gave the guy and he left.

My eyes sunk like TinkerBell... clearly, I was in wonderland. You needed to see the way I was seriously going to buy the nylons..and the distance my brain took me to.

I have been hearing it on a grapevine..but mine struck me recently.

Have you been hypnotized before?

LMS1:
@chatinent And Writerng Come See Work O

I don commot my hand for anything wey carry Nigerian anthem.

Thanks for the mention.

Your mates work legitly. You are here justifying reasons why you do this habit of yours you have been doing since five years ago

Yawns.

I just hope you are not up to forty yet because there's an adage waiting.

Rugaria:
These guys were huge then...

Fought with Nigeria during the war and got compensated as they normally do with all sorts of bogus appointments..
They're dropping dead one after the other. But the main evils have refused to die.

It's turn by turn.

JOACHINpedro:
Thanks alot bro.
Really appreciate your kind gesture. My sister came to my rescue today.

No wahala. Take care.

The hell they let loose is enveloping them.

I love ’em both.

Why would they carry corpses without covering up na.

If I dey there, dem no born am well to come down there without jumping.

Aturu Germany.

Celeb life disgusts.

Mehn..

Cmanforall:
I thought she just did her dad's funeral

Those ones na formalities na. Wetin concern okuko rock with gidigbo.

JOACHINpedro:
Just to makeup the little i have

Send your details make I send you am.

Hopebringer:
Typical of his tribe Akwa ibom. He has left legit hustle and is now a full time gigolo

Unfortunately

I don't hit tribes.
By the way, we all know that's what most of them do to maintain the status quo.

Iyanya don tall o. Sb said the Iyanya wey dem dey draw for CD tall pass the Iyanya for real life.

Napoleon as president.

End result begotten.

Tiwa is always quick to post her nude and walls of Jericho.


By the way, it's been a while I heard from Iyanya.

UndauntedYOCA:
Na as e go better for us I find go abi you no want make our lives better ni?
Hope you nefa give another person belle? Take care of your daughter well o.

Welcome back.

Wetin Edo people do you?

What's making her depressed? She should take things easy.

Whoever those are.

Cam pain.

I have a feeling if the tables turned around as it is and these whole shits were happening to them, they'll be forced to change things for good.

You know that verse that said sth about walking through the valleys of the shadow of death?

It's Nigeria, Africa.