₦airaland Forum

Me: no mama, ha, how come you know the whole girls in this village..odikwa egwu o.

Mama: no nah, I want my son to marry a pretty girl..not pretty face only but pretty character and good family heritage.

Me: Exactly..

Mama: Who is she?


Me: emm, mama, I don't really think you know her that much. Well, her name is Nne.


Mama: whose daughter is she?

Me: emm, let me remember, she is the daughter of Mazi Nwokeukeu of Umuagom community. She is the second...

Mama: ...Mazi who? That Osu family? God forbids! Gbufu asu! No Osu lineage will come into my family.

Me: MAMA!

Me: What's all these na mama? You've always taught me to be generous and not discriminate. Where is all this caste system coming from?

Aren't OSus humans? Who even labelled them that? What were the grounds for the pronouncement? You have not even seen her yet you have condemned her. My heart will fail to beat if I can't have her. She is the vegetable in my garden and I have made up my mind.

Mama: It's not only vegetable, you'll soon turn a goat. I've seen you are under a spell.

Me: yes mama, a spell of love. Can't you see it mama?
Mama: if I slap you, that spell will leave you. So you didn't see all our beautiful maidens, you went ahead to choose an outcast. Why have you chosen the path of shame on your own family?
Me: (stands up) mama, it's either Nne or nobody. I don't care about traditions. (Prepares to move).
Mama: chineke! And where are you going!
Me: (with a frown) to check my bush meat trap (leaves, inaudible voice heard from mama).

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Thanks, God bless you all.

Lalasticlala, mukina, dominque, seun, pocohantas, Ishilove

(Somewhere in the village)

Girl 1: hmm, the way these two people are taking this love looks like we singles are cursed.

Girl 2: don't mind them. Men are dogs and it will be clear to Nne one day... especially this one that is light-skinned, forget him.

Girl 3: make una mind una business na. Are they complaining?

Girl 1: biko biko, Madam good, abeg e don do. End am there. You think we don't know you are crushing?

Girl 3: crush? He is not even my class. He is...

Girl 2: ...what is your class? Palmwine tappers?

(Girl 1 and 2 laughs mockingly).

Girl 3: (smirks) palmwine kubgo gi there. Btw, he wouldn't even look my way. Nne has enchanted him.

Girl 2: bia Adaora, that reminds me, what is even the relationship between Adaku and Richie? They seem inseparable and Nne seems not to read the lines.

Girl 1: men! Na wa o.

(Curtain closes).


Curtain opens
(at home)

Me: mama, there's sth I want to tell you.
Mama: what is it, Nna m?

Me: well, emmm, well, I have seen the apple of my eyes.

Mama: Apple kwa? Does apple live inside one's eyes again?

Me: oooohm, mama, that's an idiomatic expressions.

Mama: idiot-matic expression? I thought as much.

Me: nna eh, mama, Ihe a adịghị m mma na, is it better I keep quiet?

Mama: I don't understand what you are saying na, oya tell me what entered your eyes, we'll talk about the apple later.

Me: I will just tell you anyways. I have found the love of my life!

Mama: wow wow wow, is it Adaeze? Is it Nkechi? I'm sure it is Adaku. Or is it Adaora, nwa oma m.

(Curtain opens)

(Drinking from the dregs of the overfoamed tumbo).

Me: ha, Nne, this meal is delicious. Ha, I am wondering what happens when I finally taste the oha soup you promised me. By the way, Nne, I've been thinking about what happened yesterday..


Nne: ha, I was only kidding na. But Nna, I saw you standing with Akudu last night close to Ekwuku market. I'm not happy at all.


“Nne, have you forgotten that Adaku is my childhood friend? How can you think I will be having anything to do with sb I have always known. She was only complaining to me that she hasn't been feeling all okay and...”

Nne: and she needs you to cure her?

Me: Nne, let's not start this please. Adaku even knows that you are the only woman in my life. I don't expect you to be jealous, eh, akwaeke m. Tomato Jos’m. My sherikoko. Olu gbaje boys. Oya smile na.

smile for me now. You know what, one smile from you and when I am going for my evening hunt tomorrow, I'll definitely bring you a grass cutter.”

Nne: (leave me alone joor).

Me: (tickes her).

Nne: okay okay, I believe you. Can you escort me to the stream to fetch firewoods? It's getting late and I can't go alone.


Act 1, Scene 2
(In the woods)

In the woods, the curtain opens on me staring directly at my flower, my hibiscus, my beaut as she, unknowingly to her, gathers her wood and some grasses for the ever mee-ing goats in their house.

Me: (in mid-thought, mutters) Such a beauty. Oh God, like how Eve complemented Adam, you have just made my better half. Oh..


Nne: Nna m ooo, I've been calling you for the past three minutes now. What have you been thinking!

Me: oh, my hibiscus, I couldn't help but acknowledge what God has done by giving you me.

Nne: you have started again, biko, come and help me carry this log to my head.

“Pregnant? How can you be pregnant? I don't understand. How can you be pregnant when there have not been any meeting between us.”



(Soundtrack).


Nne: It's about to rain. Can we meet tomorrow at the oji tree? (Runs off).


Me: wait na..oh o, she wouldn't just explain anything yet she will be leaving.


(Slipped, and falls to the ground due to the rain).

Me: (on the floor seated). What is going on? What did Nne mean by what she said?