Celebrities › Re: Lil Wayne Reflects On Childhood Suicide Attempt by chatinent: 10:54pm On Aug 16, 2021 |
What's the diff between then and now?
He drugs himself now to near-death circumstances. |
Romance › Re: I Need A Mature Woman To Marry by chatinent: 10:53pm On Aug 16, 2021 |
Oga, no make cow jam you. |
Celebrities › Re: Bbnaija: Maria Wins HOH For Week 4, Picks Boma To Be Deputy, Biggie's New Twist by chatinent: 10:53pm On Aug 16, 2021 |
Am I the only one who doesn't watch this show?
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Romance › Re: How Long Have You Been In Celibacy (No Sex) by chatinent: 10:52pm On Aug 16, 2021 |
Rozcol. |
Romance › Re: Why Do Guys Want To 'do' Before They Say 'I Do'? by chatinent: 10:50pm On Aug 16, 2021 |
Lol. I'll only marry sb I didn't have premarital sex with. |
Christianity Etc › Re: Meditate On This Tonight by chatinent: 10:38pm On Aug 16, 2021 |
Uncle, you are always posting what we are to meditate on.
Say na empty belle person go use dey meditate? At least, remember Jesus fed the hungry before giving them what to meditate on. |
Family › Re: My Wife Steals From Me Always. by chatinent: 10:35pm On Aug 16, 2021 |
Abeg, who get 2by2 plank here?
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Politics › Re: Biafra: DSS Finally Bows To Pressure, Allows Nnamdi Kanu Meet Family by chatinent: 10:26pm On Aug 16, 2021 |
So I was in Madam Olaniyi’s tumbo joint with my hands tooth-picked to an appetizing Anu ezi lying inside my plate, garnished with chilli when two young men came in with this Mazi Nnamdi Kanu discussion, and how he'd meet his family today.
They argued and argued, and after drinking about five bottles of Life, they began soliciting for my contribution.
Nna, I am not against him, neither in support. I'm apolitical, and neutral biko.
Abeg, madam, bring me another bottle of my friend udeme.
Ị nwere ishi ewu? Biko gwora m ya, tinye osu ofuma kwa.
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Literature › Re: Osu’s Happiness - A Short Story, by Chatinent by chatinent(op): 10:25pm On Aug 16, 2021 |
(Curtain opens under an nkwa tree)
Me: The light of my heart, the rose of all petals, I couldn't sleep all night. I was thinking of our discussion yesterday.
Nne: Obim, neither could I. I was awake until the moon went to sleep itself. Even after the tales by moonlight and all maidens walked to their hut, my legs were heavy. I don't want to lose you, Obim. Please promise me you'll not love another woman.
Me: (Stands) Leave you? For whom? I rather drown in Ozubiri River than leave you. No maiden in this village, I mean, this clan, can win my heart, Oyo m.
Nne: (Shy) Are you sure?
Me: Ha, Nne, why are you talking like this na. Ị na -ekwu okwu dịka ị maghị na ọ bụ gị ka m hụrụ n'anya...eh asa m.
Nne: Obim that's not what I meant. Well, Obim. I want you to answer me looking at my eyes, (...I stand up and face her)... hold my hips... (obliges)...will you ever leave me in any situation?
Me: oh, not again. Nne, if you were in the time of Babylon...emm, what's that he's name,. Ehhh... Nebu..ehn, Nebuchadnezzar... if you were among the ones thrown to the furnace, I'll be the fourth man jumping in. I so love you na nnem, can't you see it.
Nne: I know you do.. but I..I..
Me: you are what?
Nne: (sobs) I ... I am pregnant.
To be continued. |
Literature › Re: Osu’s Happiness - A Short Story, by Chatinent by chatinent(op): 10:18pm On Aug 16, 2021 |
“Nnam, my heart will know no peace if you ended in another maiden's arms. Suicide may be my only desire. A furu m gi nanya. You are my coco and my nut. Please let's observe this tradition. You know, today's Eke market day, I have to run ahead before Mother begins to trace my trails.”
“Nne, wait... Oh no, she is gone.” (shed tears as I struggle back the mudding path in between overlapping _icheku_ and _akwukwo ede_ leaves.
Curtain closes. |
Literature › Re: Osu’s Happiness - A Short Story, by Chatinent by chatinent(op): 10:14pm On Aug 16, 2021 |
As I was head-dancing to my near forever, my maiden began to shed a river tears. She said we can't be in the happily-ever-after.
“Why Nne, why? I'd do anything. I would...” I struggled out. She interrupted “I am an OSU.”
“Nne, I don't care whatever you are. You are a human. Not just human, you are what my human wants. Don't let tradition make a vague chasm.
Don't make me run into the forest of Agbadike, never to return. You are the woman I very wanted. Even the river goddess cannot unmake this knot. Please, Nne, this is our chance, let's elope to oblivon.” |
Literature › Osu’s Happiness - A Short Story, by Chatinent by chatinent(op): 10:12pm On Aug 16, 2021*. Modified: 8:11pm On Aug 17, 2021 |
All Rights Reserved.
This story was originally written by me. I choose to call it an idrama...since it's a new type I have chosen to create.
Ladies and gentlemen, THE OSU’s HAPPINESS.
Cast:
Cast will unfold as the iplay continues. You'll readily know everyone with time.
______________________ Act 1, Scene 1 My maiden from Amugo Kingdom just brought me roasted yams with oil in a lonely calabash.
To entice me more, she wagged her wrapper-ed waist to the rhythm of the woodpecker’s tic tic tic as I devoured eyes up at their charisma.
Oh..
Her dance steps enthralled my greedy eyes wanting more.
I gave her my Greek's welcome. I felt rejuvenated, blood flowing my bloodstream as the palm oil dripped to the hungry floor whilst at my bedazzlement. |
Romance › Re: +18: Will The Army Arrest Me for Wearing This? [Picture] by chatinent: 4:08pm On Aug 16, 2021 |
Why put an Oris Cigarette in your pants? |
Health › Re: Nigeria To Receive 698,880 Doses Of Astrazeneca Vaccine Today by chatinent: 3:52pm On Aug 16, 2021 |
The Best Receivers of the World.
Nothing to export.
Nothing to write home about.
Oh, I forgot, the country cannot even be called home ...let alone writing sth. |
Politics › Re: Afghanistan Crisis: Lauretta Onochie Reacts 'Let's Guard Our Utterances' by chatinent: 3:49pm On Aug 16, 2021 |
Madam, ogogoro no bi crude oil. |
Foreign Affairs › Re: Afghanistan: Did Chinese Media Just Made A Dig At The US? by chatinent: 3:46pm On Aug 16, 2021 |
Punches. |
Romance › Re: Bernice Umoh Reveals What Husbands Should Do If Their Wives Are Attacked by chatinent: 3:43pm On Aug 16, 2021 |
Another yahoo girl don drop quote.
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Crime › Re: How True Are The Stories Of Girls Being Used By Yahoo Boys For Ritual? by chatinent: 3:40pm On Aug 16, 2021 |
About the curse, it shall be well with them please. Blame your greedy co-gender. |
Foreign Affairs › Re: China And Russia Prepare To Accept Taliban Rule Of Afghanistan(Pics) by chatinent: 9:13am On Aug 16, 2021 |
I see the US being defeated.
This I have seen. |
Education › Re: University Of Calabar Investigates Lecturers Who ‘Conduct Exams In Hotels’ by chatinent: 9:11am On Aug 16, 2021 |
Even the investigators are guilty so don't expect a good fruition. |
Foreign Affairs › Re: US Completes Evacuation Of Embassy In Afghanistan As Flag Went Down by chatinent: 9:10am On Aug 16, 2021 |
The US cannot save you. Lessons learnt. |
Car Talk › Re: NADDC: Nigeria Now Has Capacity To Manufacture 400,000 Cars Yearly by chatinent: 12:58am On Aug 16, 2021 |
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Politics › Re: More Boko Haram Fighters Surrender To Troops (Picture) by chatinent: 5:18pm On Aug 15, 2021 |
Oh, I understand. Election is reaching. |
Family › Re: If You Are Struggling So Hard And Money Hasn't Come, Get Married by chatinent: 5:14pm On Aug 15, 2021 |
How much wey women pay this man?
Shey poverty dey fear marriage?
You wan dey drink garri like me go marry ba? You wan disgrace your destiny? Who go come pay for the marriage things and arrears? |
Food › Five Reasons Why Eating From Fast Food Joints Is Not Advisable by chatinent(op): 2:41pm On Aug 15, 2021 |
No part of this post should be reproduced without written approval from the author.Five reasons why eating from fast food joints is not advisable Please understand this post does not in anyway disrespect those people who sell food as a source of income, or who endeavour to sell quality meals.
By the way, let's take a look at few of these reasons! Don't jump to number 2!
1. Hygiene Fast food is a quick food. Yeah, you don't have the time to cook and all that bla bla. Before going to that fast food, think about a clean environment. Unless you don't have any problems with dirtiness, then skip this post.
Due respect to cooks but a large number of these places these food is cooked stink.
Health wise, fast food may contain excess amount of fat, sodium, spices and cholesterol, and can also be detrimental to your health.
I have seen a large number of people devouring a new kind of gigantic pommo in vogue without giving recourse to what it contains. A little background check shows that these ponmo are very very dirty before preparation and maggot-infested. Let me not go farther; the choice is yours if you want to continue eating rice ₦100, spaghetti ₦50, ponmo ₦300.
Sometimes, people fall sick and even stool and puke after eating fast food; this is because the food was not prepared by them to know all its ingredients.
Another blockbuster is that fast food sellers are likely to prepare left over food to customers and lie about it being fresh. How can you tell!
Most fast food sellers too are dirty. You probably don't know if their utensils are clean, or the pots used for cooking those meals are clean. You don't even know the ingredients!
It's inappropriate and less hygienic to eat fast food, it's better to prepare food with your own hands for a healthy living.
I remember eating in Ikotun market in Lagos. When I was paying, I noticed the woman was all covered with a wrapper (head to toe) and funnily enough, it wasn't hijab. She even had to pierce a hole through the wrapper to collect her money from me only for my friend to tell me later that she was actually pooing there! There was a custard-container-made-potty there! O my father! To compound matters, there was another lonely looking poo at the rear of the beans cooler deposited by her weak four-year old.
Shift, lemme die please.
2. What makes up these fast food sellers. In a world like this where people do so many things for money, anything is possible. Don't sigh now...you must have heard about it too.
Let's take for instance, you have two restaurants close to a junction, and Restaurant-A doesn't sell much because they have few customers, but Restaurant B sells much and have so many customers. What are you thinking? Iya Basira?
Most of these fast food sellers use charms to lure customers and make them forget about any other restaurants. You might be wondering why you're addicted to one particular fast food, no matter the crowd you still choose their food. You use your tongue as a sponge and queue up for hours, enduring insults. Lol.
There are so many ill stories of when people use their pants, women periods, water used to bathe corpses, and even millipedes to prepare their food because they want to make excess profit. Sorry I made you puke but it's damn true!
3. Save Money It is better to visit the grocery store or go to the market to buy your food stuff, this will save you money. Even bachelors can do it! Cooking how-tos are littered everywhere on the internet!
After preparing your soup and stew, they last for some days while been preserved in the refrigerator. Even if you don't own a freezer, your cooker is idle.
Fast food joints are more expensive and could consume your money especially when you take more orders. Sometimes these fast food sellers intentionally make the food so small that customers would buy more. Cooking and eating in your home could make you save your money.
4. Family time. Men eat out more, especially when they have lots of work to do at the office, they really don't have time for home-made food. Eating together with the whole family brings more love and more bonding to the family. Spend more time with your wife and kids, eat together and know each other better.
5. Adequate Meal Adequate meal or balanced diet is the real deal. Excess consumption of junk and fast food might make you obsessed and lose shape. Most times, Bachelors and spinsters consume fast food, which makes them kitchen-irresponsible. Lol. You need to see the face of a Nigerian lady in the morning queuing to buy food from a fastfood joint! Why being ashamed!
Spoiler apart, it's very appropriate to learn those kitchen skills, because someday you are going to make your own family and would want to give them the best adequate meal and also teach them those kitchen skills of yours and be a proud parent. Source: https://www.nopremiumtears.com.ng/2021/08/five-reasons-why-eating-from-fast-food.htmlI understand some parents use this to take care of their kids, I respect you if you are hygienic and this post is not against you! Thanks for reading how to minimize or better still, understand why eating from fastfood is not advisable. Hope you enjoyed this article? Drop your comments below.
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Christianity Etc › Re: How Do You Feel When You Don't Have Offering To Give In Church? by chatinent: 11:54am On Aug 15, 2021 |
Church or to pastors? |
Foreign Affairs › Re: Bidden On Afghanistan: Five More Years Of US Presence Won't Change Anything by chatinent: 11:53am On Aug 15, 2021 |
Very bad world. |
Foreign Affairs › Re: Taliban Now Controls All Of Afghanistan's Border Crossings by chatinent: 11:52am On Aug 15, 2021 |
Observing intently..
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Car Talk › Re: NADDC: Nigeria Now Has Capacity To Manufacture 400,000 Cars Yearly by chatinent: 11:50am On Aug 15, 2021 |
Only few manufacture, others assemble. |
Romance › Re: What's The Best Way End A Relationship Without Hurting Your Partner? by chatinent: 9:09am On Aug 15, 2021 |
By not starting one when you arent ready for marriage. |
Celebrities › Re: Zubby Michael Celebrates His New House And Car With Kanayo O Kanayo & Others by chatinent: 2:23am On Aug 15, 2021 |
I only pity the up and coming who thinks all these can be gotten from Nollywood. You go drink garri. |
Christianity Etc › Re: Is It OK To Add Your Religious Achievement To Your CV? by chatinent: 2:21am On Aug 15, 2021 |
Employers hardly care about it.
You see them even wanting you work on your religious days and seeing those days as holidays! |