₦airaland Forum

nightfall,

dawn never show? so who was in bed last night? your wife or she?

That guy is smth else, I couldn't believe my eyeballs, na only am dey pitch? He has only scored in 3 matches, he should score from time to time and not reserve all 4 goals for one match, if he had scored in each game, Real would be on top of d table.

Thanks for reinforcing that EPL imports can dazzle in d La Liga. Kudos to Sinama Pongolle and Kanoute too.

A Mother had 3 virgin daughters.
They were all getting married within a short time period. Because Mom was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started, she made them all promise to send a postcard from the honeymoon with a few words on how marital sex felt.
The first girl sent a card from Hawaii two days after the wedding. The card said nothing but: "Nescafe"!
Mom was puzzled at first, but then went to her kitchen and got out the Nescafe jar.
It said: "Good till the last drop”.



Mom blushed, but was pleased for her daughter.




The second girl sent the card from Vermont a week after the wedding, and the card read: "Rothmans"
Mom now knew to go straight to her husband's cigarettes, and she read from the pack: "Extra Long. King Size"
She was again slightly embarrassed but still happy for her daughter.

The third girl left for her honeymoon in Cape Town. Mom waited for a week, nothing. Another week went by and still nothing. Then after a whole month, a card finally arrived.
Written on it with shaky handwriting were the words "South African Airways"
Mom took out her latest YOU magazine, flipped through the pages fearing the worst, and finally found the ad for SAA.
The ad said: "Ten times a day, seven days a week, both ways."



Mom fainted!

A Mother had 3 virgin daughters.

They were all getting married within a short time period. Because Mom was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started, she made them all promise to send a postcard from the honeymoon with a few words on how marital sex felt.
The first girl sent a card from Hawaii two days after the wedding. The card said nothing but: "Nescafe"!
Mom was puzzled at first, but then went to her kitchen and got out the Nescafe jar.
It said: "Good till the last drop”.

Mom blushed, but was pleased for her daughter.

The second girl sent the card from Vermont a week after the wedding, and the card read: "Rothmans"
Mom now knew to go straight to her husband's cigarettes, and she read from the pack: "Extra Long. King Size"
She was again slightly embarrassed but still happy for her daughter.

The third girl left for her honeymoon in Cape Town. Mom waited for a week, nothing. Another week went by and still nothing. Then after a whole month, a card finally arrived.
Written on it with shaky handwriting were the words "South African Airways"
Mom took out her latest YOU magazine, flipped through the pages fearing the worst, and finally found the ad for SAA.
The ad said: "Ten times a day, seven days a week, both ways."



Mom fainted!

A muslim lady is a human, but don't make her fall in love when you can't catch her fall. You know the consequences of going beyond a "normal" relationship, if your plan is sincere - that is you may end up getting married to her, you know what it's gonna cost you, are you prepared to go the extra mile?

Most muslim parents don't support that so you need to think about that too.

For all the lovers of this "GREAT" masterpiece, you can download it within the next 6 days. It's approximately 60MB uploaded by Freddie wit.

If you need Obodo by Klint d drunk & co, holla.


http://download.yousendit.com/3C89CA901424C172 - Olori Oko by Infinity.

See the phones supported by special versions of OPera Mobile

http://www.opera.com/products/mobile/products/?group=manufacturer

You man have to manipulate the Opera Mini hoping it works well on your phone

If you don't mind, you can download and test Shrunq @

http://www.shrunq.com/download.php

A South Indian Student on his first day at school in USA
It was the first day of school and a new student named Chandrashekhar Subrahmanyam entered the fourth grade. The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American History. Who said
"Give me Liberty, or give me Death"? She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Chandrashekhar, who had his hand up: "Patrick Henry, 1775" he said.
"Very good!" Who said "Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish from the Earth?"
Again, no response except from Chandrashekhar.
"Abraham Lincoln, 1863" said Chandrashekhar.
The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed.
Chandrashekhar, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do."
She heard a loud whisper: "F**k the Indians," "Who said that?" she demanded. Chandrashekhar put his hand up. "General Custer, 1862."
At that point, a student in the back said, "I'm gonna puke." The teacher glares around and asks "All right! Now, who said that?"
Again, Chandrashekhar says, "George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister,1991."
Now furious, another student yells, "Oh yeah? S*ck this!"
Chandrashekhar jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher,
"Bill Clinton,to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!"

Now with almost a mob hysteria someone said "You little shit. If you say anything else, I'll kill you."
Chandrashekhar frantically yells at the top of his voice, "Gary Condit to Chandra Levy, 2001."
The teacher fainted. And as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, "Oh shit, we're f**ked!" and Chandrashekhar said quietly, "George Bush, Iraq, 2005

A South Indian Student on his first day at school in USA
It was the first day of school and a new student named Chandrashekhar Subrahmanyam entered the fourth grade. The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American History. Who said
"Give me Liberty, or give me Death"? She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Chandrashekhar, who had his hand up: "Patrick Henry, 1775" he said.
"Very good!" Who said "Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish from the Earth?"
Again, no response except from Chandrashekhar.
"Abraham Lincoln, 1863" said Chandrashekhar.
The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed.
Chandrashekhar, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do."
She heard a loud whisper: "F**k the Indians," "Who said that?" she demanded. Chandrashekhar put his hand up. "General Custer, 1862."
At that point, a student in the back said, "I'm gonna puke." The teacher glares around and asks "All right! Now, who said that?"
Again, Chandrashekhar says, "George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister,1991."
Now furious, another student yells, "Oh yeah? S*ck this!"
Chandrashekhar jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher,
"Bill Clinton,to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!"

Now with almost a mob hysteria someone said "You little shit. If you say anything else, I'll kill you."
Chandrashekhar frantically yells at the top of his voice, "Gary Condit to Chandra Levy, 2001."
The teacher fainted. And as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, "Oh shit, we're f**ked!" and Chandrashekhar said quietly, "George Bush, Iraq, 2005

This is a hard one, i luv them both, but lyrically, i'll go for Alanis (Ironic)

[quote author=gbade. x link=topic=15149.msg701687#msg701687 date=1163360495]@ Christino:

when the Bleep will Nigerians appreciate Nigerians?!! I read your post and was dissapointed. Olori oko sounding like swahili? Wtf?! Perhaps the reason u said that sh*t was because u are not yoruba. That was a 100%, no swahili bullsh*t, Yoruba gospel song that deserves every praise given it because of its creativity, and soulfulness. It is a very soul-lifting gospel song rendered in yoruba proverbs and poetry.

Next time, settle down and find out what the song says before writing the song off.[/quote]Gbade,

Did i write the song off ? Is it an issue with transliteration or misunderstanding, pls read my post again and don't put words into my mouth.

Yoruba,
I can sell you and buy the PH refinery, in Yoruba. I was born and raised and still reside in Lagos - Yoruba all the way. Talking about the proverbs, i don't think i heard any new one that i didn't understand. Plus i'm 100% Yoruba from Ogun State.

Now some simple questions i'll ask you?

1. Do you know Youssou n'Dour? did i hear you reflect on something u prolly heard in that song reminding u of him? (he's not S/A anyway). Talking about France 98 theme song, Diallo with Wyclef and a host of other hits.

2. Don't know if you are familiar with local Zulu/Swahili Music, Back in Kenya, I saw Local Kiswahili stage plays for months on end, and man, I know what the hell i'm talking about here.

3. Like i said, please read my posts again, I'm being patriotic and positive here, they'll win awards because it was really nice, at least if you are going to copy someone, copy well and they prolly got their inspiration from the Southerners or the Senegalese, what's bad in that anyway, most of our artistes here copy the westerners too? But if you say you are seeing/hearing most of the background effect or concept for the first time, then goodluck.

4. Theatre arts? have you seen south African theatres? Theatre effects have gone so far in SA, you've seen Big Brother, Kora Awards, Nokia face of Africa and hosts of Stage location and effects from SA, why did you have to bring that into this? Besides, many of the effects were edited as in software editing tools, not live effects.

Do you know this popular acapella group from the South (very popular guys like that?) have you seen their video clip apart from stage performances? I've hardly heard a "Local/gospel" Southern African song that's not soul lifting.


Negro please,

If everyone says Yes to an opinion then we ain't humans and we ain't saying the truth. I always join the league with less competition and that's the constructive critics - never have I totally written a human being off, never, not even on Nairaland - if you doubt it, read ALL my posts, i always say @ least one positive thing or hopeful thing about my victim(s).
Christino don't just come in to post, plus i have a right to what is my opinion, i won't attack yours either. If you don't agree with it, simply leave it. That simple - Slim easy!

Goodbye - James Blunt (that ex soldier, you know him?)
Emotion - Destiny's Child
Georgia - Ray Charles
Westside (Till I die) - TQ

and i'll be listening to that for the rest of this month.

Can't stop, i'd rather die - Westside till I DIE!

I concur there are line fappers (not rappers) around, is it safe to store illest rhymes here? Hope we don't see ***** or some Line fappers spitting them on the radio someday, hip hop is dying fast artiste lay their hands on money and lose their rhymes, they raid poetry and rap sites for lyrics and the result is some tracks far from being harmonious. Expect to see Nas singing "Take you to the Lolly pop SHop someday "

Tell me o.

I must confess i'm losing track,

Are we ever gon' have a fourth group? Maybe Seun should form a group and give us some clowning

Say goodbye to the brainwashed
Say goodbye to the young kids who not smart
Say goodbye to the toasters and Pop-Tarts
Yo, it's real
Swallow a little pill, there's a four-course meal
Say hello to the one world
Say hello to the sky, somethin's out there watchin you and I
More enticin than Star Trek, StarTec phones
Your genes and DNA is used to make clones
You got CD-Rom, everythang operates by computers
Then what happens when circuit breaks
Y2K's the big scare
Scientists say we ain't prepared
What I feel is contrare
Alexander Graham Bell made telephones, yes
But now we request for your e-mail address
I might be old fashioned, stuck in my ways
But nothin make me more happier than seein today

NAS - New world

From what i've learnt so far bout hip hop, Nigeria's not ready for it yet - (Quote me)

Modey's on his own men, come to think of it, how many pple buy albums in nigeria? Working class peeps? nope not really, oldies and friday night lovers. How many of Modey's tracks are comedies or party jamz? Cry? no way.

Rugged's mention of Eedris and Big bros and Maintain was enough to sell hits, as all they peeps he mentioned were hit chasers too (little sense - i hate senseless tracks by default).

If i was to make hits today, i'd come up against the presently most hyped in the country, Rugged, i believe is the most hyped rapper around today. He's good, but where was he all along when hip hop was developing? Like Pac came up and sweeped most of the rap glories(not comparing him to Pac, dont' get it wrong), we forgot bout them Jam Master Jay, R.A.K.I.M, Uncle L, Dre, Lady of Rage and a host of veterans. Who remembers naija's Cashman Davies? Don't think all these new generation Hip Hop freaks (ask them what Jay-z's debut is and they'd tell u Black Album - we all know them i believe) even know him. Some are really lucky to know Jimmy Jatt cos he still doing us proud.

So man, i don't have the figures, don't even know which is Rugged's or Modey's (sorry to say, not so interested in naija raps till i'm convinced, i'd rather stick to lagbaja , more african or Yinka Ayefele ) but i believe Rugged should sell more copies, if not 3 times more ("crap" sells and so does humorous diss, ask Nas or DMX and ask G-Unit!).

Note: what's crap to me may be food to you, no offence.

Has anyone noticed Nas hardly shows up at any award shizzle? While jigga's been selling plats and winning grams, Nas' been left in the cold but few'd argue he's the most respected rapper out there today (Many will still scream Rakim though - dunno y o, last i heard was R.A.K.I.M. tight but not better than NAS)

So far, it's clear winning awards aint a good measure of who's good and who's not (Mode 9's my choice dont get it twisted) and like 2face beat Kaysha and Akon to awards (I wonder o) and 50cent lost out as best new artiste on his major debut to (was it avril lavigne or smth? on pop star like that leaves much to be desired. F*ck Awards, but please get them if you can, it does the country proud )

Don't know much bout Sauce but i've known Modey 2 be hardcore since day 1 - his style did not fit the naija hip hop scene but he stuck to it and bagged three awards, that's a feat man, not cos of the awards but Sauce was good at least he came to terms with the fact that Mode 9 did the country proud, he needs to do something too, hoping he gets there too.

Back @ topic - he ain't bowing from wot i can see here, he's givin props 2 whom its due.

Hoody,

That's the closest to Langston Hughes, not even ma mentor, Pac can come near.

New World and I Can can teach you what you'll never come across in the University, Not too many rappers, at least none that i've seen later, can educate you that much.

Nas raps like he's Google, telling you things you ain't never heard. Man, don't doubt him, crown him, he's the greatest lyricist alive.

Nas slits throats and educates - no one else does, everyone bling, bark and expect cash, nas opens minds and eyes.

(Pac and I were soldiers on the same struggle) - Got yourself a gun
(The truth is many are too scared of new data) - New world
(The African University in Egypt) - I can
(Name a rapper that I ain't influenced) - Got yourself a gun
(I never knew the surprise she had for me was more than that I had for her) - Undying Love (dat's my favorite Nas track)

Google - nas greatest lyricist or langston hughes greatest lyricist and read up reviews.

Safe man.

An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a semester dealing with a broad array of topics. The class was already seated and ready to go when the professor picked up his chair, plopped it on top of his desk and wrote on the board: "Using everything we have learned this semester, prove that this chair does not exist." Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled in furious fashion. Some students wrote over 30 pages in one hour attempting to refute the existence of the chair. One member of the class however, was up and finished in less than a minute. Weeks later when the grades were posted, the rest of the group wondered how he could have gotten an "A" when he had barely written anything at all. His answer consisted of two words: "What chair?

Thx man,

Just expressing my sad feelings, hip hop's been bastardised, what can we do?

a tree cannot make a forest, we hope we'll find our roots, like reggae'll forever be Rasta!

No mind dem jare, Dbanj don turn am to PDP na d Koko, that's the latest advert in town now, so no banning yet.

Go ahead man, but please use CONDOM - it's sweet, they say variety is the spice of life, so taste as many as your buds can allow

And keep us posted on the counts i mean like 1,2,3, 80, 90,


You are dead meat man sorry for you, no hypocrisy, but you'll live long (i mean the other way round )

@ Don,

Till i see the lyrics, i beg to disagree, lyricist never pass out, they have their transition periods. Jay-z's a good rapper, rappers are good when they are in the mood
But lyricists like Nas are ever green when they want to, remember "New World"?

Britney,

I'm next, okay?

Pls act fast, cos J-Lo's begging

An old man was laying on his death bed. With only hours to live, he suddenly noticed the scent of chocolate chip cookies coming from the kitchen. With his last bit of energy, the old man pulled himself out from his bed, across the floor to the stairs, and down the stairs to the kitchen.

There, the old man's wife was baking chocolate chip cookies. With his last ounce of energy, the old man reached for a cookie. His wife, however, quickly smacked him across the back of his hand, and exclaimed, "Leave them alone, they're for the funeral!"

Five people are on a plane, four guys and one girl. Suddenly the engine stalls and they crash. Miraculously all five of them survive the crash but are stranded on a small deserted island. Since these four guys will need to have their natural urges satisfied, they decided to make up a schedule. Each guy would get a week to dick the woman as much as possible, the next week another guy and so on. This arrangement works out great for years, satisfying both the guys and the nymphomaniac woman until she suddenly dies… The first month went by and it was really awful; second month was really bad; third month was almost unbearable; fourth month rolls around and the guys couldn’t handle it anymore so they buried her.

The grieving widow goes to her local newspaper to submit an obituary. The man behind the counter tells her it will cost $5.per word. She thinks for a moment and says "Fred's dead." The man then informs her there is a five word minimum. She' says "Okay, Fred's dead; Buick for sale"

Three boys received their grades from their female sex education instructor. One got a D+, the second a D- and the third an F. "One day we should get her for this," said the first boy. "I agree. We’ll grab her, " said the second. "Yeah," said the third. "And then we'll kick her in the nuts!"

One day, after striking gold in Alaska, a lonesome miner came down from the mountains and walked into a saloon in the nearest town. "I'm lookin' for the meanest, roughest and toughest LovePeddler in the Yukon!" he said to the bartender. "We got her!" replied the barkeep. "She's upstairs in the second room on the right." The miner handed the bartender a gold nugget to pay for the LovePeddler and two beers. He grabbed the beer bottles, stomped up the stairs, kicked open the second door on the right and yelled, "I'm lookin' for the meanest, roughest and toughest LovePeddler in the Yukon!" The woman inside the room looked at the miner and said, "You found her!" Then she stripped naked, bent over and grabbed her ankles. "How do you know I want to do it in that position?" asked the miner. "I don't," replied the LovePeddler, "but I thought you might like to open those beers before we get started."

A man travels to Spain and goes to a Madrid restaurant for a late dinner. He orders the house special and he is brought a plate with potatoes, corn, and two large meaty objects. "What's this?" he asks. "Cojones, senor," the waiter replies. "What are cojones?" the man asks. "Cojones," the waiter explains, "are the testicles of the bull who lost at the arena this afternoon."

At first the man is disgusted, but being the adventurous type, he decides to try this local delicacy. To his amazement, it is quite delicious. In fact, it is so good that he decides to come back again the next night and order it again. After dinner the man informed the waiter that these were better than the pair he had the previous afternoon but the portion was much smaller.

"Senor," the waiter explains, "the bull does not lose every time."

This guy goes into a whorehouse and tells the mistress he wants to eat out a girl for the first time. She sends him up and he meets this deadly blonde chick. She whips down her pants and he starts licking her Arrow. Minutes later he feels something in his mouth and spits out a corn niblet. Thinking this is normal, as he has never done it before continues eating her out. Minutes pass and he finds a piece of carrot in his mouth. Still thinking this is normal he continues. Soon after he finds a piece of meat and stands up. "Excuse me miss, but are you sick?" She looks at him and replies "No, but the last guy was!"