₦airaland Forum

enochogaga: m--u---m----u-- goatttt

anu mpama ukpabi

ilotriouzAY: E-diot

Delapidated, fustrated and disappointed epitome of imbecilic moronism.

In another news, suarez bites anita. See details and many more @ ..com

free pussycat screensaver.

1miccza: OP Ebolachi

Ebola

Fine couples.
In another news, doctors, nurses, pregnant women and corpse on the run in Lagos. See news at https://www.nairaland.com/1868478/medical-practitioners-flee-grandma-quarantined

Danjunior: I think say na cure for Ebola nau

Me too. See what ebola has caused at https://www.nairaland.com/1868478/medical-practitioners-flee-grandma-quarantined

An old woman came from the village to visit her grand children in Lagos. She always complain about her rheumatoid arthritis. Her daughter in law suggested that she use this opportunity to visit a private hospital which was very close to their house in Lagos.

So, one early morning , the woman went alone to the hospital.

When it was her time to see the doctor, she was called and she went to the doctors office. The village woman taught that every body understand Ibo. When she entered the office, she said to the doctor, ''Dokita, ebola chi.'' The doctor screamed ''Wait wait maadam, what did I hear you say? Ebola! Chisos!''

Immediately, the doctor jumped out of her seat and ran away. Other people waiting for their time to see doctor including some pregnant women hear the doctors shouting and fled. The nurses also ran away. The pregnant women ran like Usain Bolt.

Coincidentally, there was a dead man who was brought with ambulance to be kept in the hospital's mortuary. The supposed dead body heard what was happening and quickly jumped out of the ambulance and ran for his dear life cos life has no duplicate.

As every one was running, a barely one year old baby boy that was tied with cloth at his mum's back was not satisfied with the velocity of his mom. The baby untied the cloth, jumped down, said to the mum ''mama meet me for house'' and ran home.

As at the time of filing this report, the innocent ibo woman has been quarantined till further notice.

To you my friend who is reading this news at this hour, Ebola chi! I am only saying good morning to you.

The Pope has spoken publicly for the first time about his own death, suggesting that he only has two to three years to live and may retire early.
Pope Francis, 77, made the claims during a press conference on his return flight from a hectic, five-day visit to South Korea.
When asked how he was coping with his huge popularity, the Pontiff replied: “I try to think of my sins, my mistakes, so as not to think that I am somebody. Because I know this will last a short time, two or three years, and then to the house of the Father.”
He then made a chopping gesture with his hand and whistling noise.
If the Pope is proved right, it would bring the curtain down on a revolutionary papacy during which he has already shaken up - over the course of months since his election last year - Vatican institutions which have remained unchanged for centuries.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/the-pope/11043193/Pope-Francis-I-only-have-two-or-three-more-years-to-live.html

shadrach77: Na wa!

OP. Can I borrow this your picture pls.

Lily4star: OP, I swear u got me, rotflwkmd, I come begin dey wonder if no be thesame Tonto wey I no abi e get one New American Artist wey don dey bear the name.

Thanks for making ma day, had a mad laugh

You are welcome

Great quotes. bookmarked. will read later with beer.

That is their opinion.

Yep, they are growing fast, Another form of Evolution.

That is great.

In another news, Tonto Dike leads the MTV video nominees in California. Congrats to her for making Nigeria proud.

https://www.nairaland.com/1861074/tonto-dike-poko-queen-leads

The southern Spanish city of Alicante has been put on Ebola alert after a young Nigerian man was admitted to a local hospital with symptoms of the virus.

Spanish health authorities activated alert protocols after the man displayed "several symptoms" of the deadly disease, including fever and vomiting. Tests later confirmed that the man is not infected with the virus.

The alert comes a week after a Spanish priest who contracted Ebola while working in Liberia died in a hospital in Madrid.

Father Miguel Pajares was the first European person to become infected by a strain of the virus, which has ravaged Liberia, Guinea and Sierra Leone, and spread to Nigeria.

Pajares, 75, was airlifted from Liberia to Spain on 7 August after he became infected with Ebola while working for an NGO in the West African country. He was flown to Europe for treatment with his co-worker Juliana Bohi, a nun, who has since tested negative for the disease.

UK Ebola scare

This week, a man who travelled from Lebanon to Britain sparked an Ebola scare in the UK after nurses at Weston General Hospital in Somerset mistakenly believed that he displayed symptoms of the disease.

Nurses isolated him in the hospital ward and later tests confirmed that he was not infected with Ebola.

A relative of the patient who was at the hospital at the time of the incident told the Bristol Post: "I thought 'oh my God' when I heard the doctors and nurses talking about Ebola, but I hadn't had any close contact with the patient they were examining.

"Once the hospital thought there could have been a risk, they reacted very quickly and I think it was the correct procedure."

A spokeswoman for Weston General Hospital said: "A patient came in from abroad and because of some of the symptoms they were displaying, the accident and emergency department were naturally very cautious.

"They followed all the correct procedures and the proper triaging. The patient was found not to have Ebola."

At least 1,145 people have died from Ebola, and several airlines have suspended flights to Liberia, Guinea and Sierra Leone, including British Airways, Emirates Airlines, Arik Air and ASKY Airlines.

From Wednesday, the Kenyan government will ban people from Liberia, Guinea and Sierra Leone from entering its borders. The national carrier Kenyan Airways also confirmed that it will stop flights to Liberia and Sierra Leone from Wednesday.

Source: https://uk.news.yahoo.com/spain-ebola-alert-man-admitted-hospital-fever-171245354.html#yvF7HO8

To help eradicate Ebola from Nigeria, visit and share http://..com/2014/08/finally-cure-of-ebola-is-here.html

In another news, tonto dike leads the 2014 mtv video awards in california
see details at https://www.nairaland.com/1861074/poko-queen-leads-mtv-music

The 2014 MTV Video Music Awards kicks off at The Forum in Inglewood, California. This is the 31st annual MTV Video Music Awards. Nigerian singer Tonto Dike and American singer Beyoncé lead the nominees with eight nominations while American rapper Eminem is behind them with seven.
Tonto Dike is the big winner on the night with four awards for her debut video 'Crazically fit' featuring Terry G. The ceremony draws a total of 11 million viewers.

DikeTonto

A 99-year-old American woman has earned herself a place in the record books with an amazing 100m run.

New Yorker Ida Keeling did the unthinkable by smashing the one-minute barrier for the 100m race, a run which - once verified - will give her the world record for her age group with a time of 59.8 seconds.

Ida, a great-great grandmother, who is coached by her daughter Shelley (who is pictured below welcoming her over the line), came in 48 seconds behind the winning runner at the Gay Games event at the University of Akron.

But her time is believed to be unequalled by anyone in her age bracket over the distance.
"I feel like a puppy," beamed a delighted Ida after the race.

"I feel younger now than when I was in my 30s and 40s," added the tiny 4'6" runner, clad in Michael Johnson-style golden shoes, who took up athletics aged 67.

Despite claiming a record, Ida says that this will not be the end of her 32-year track career.

"Every year I am going to keep doing what I am doing, and when running time comes, if I feel I am ready, I will go at it," she said.

Source: https://uk.eurosport.yahoo.com/blogs/world-of-sport/99-old-great-great-granny-smashes-100m-world-085025467.html

dry

We are moving forward

wow

Upon all bla bla bla we are hearing that they are been treeted. Naija I hail thee.

Because, na here God put me. God no put me for another place. So I like am for Naigeria. Gaskia. We get am for oil. We get am for cow. We get am for climate. Farm boku. No earthquake and tsunami. Yes, because

1. The Lord na my shepherd I dey kampe

2. E make me sidon for where beta dey flow and come put me next to stream make mai bodi thermacool

3. E panel beat mai soul come spray am white, come dey lead me dey go through express road of righteousness sake of hin name.

4. Walahi!, if I waka pass where arm robber, boko haram, Ebola, 419 and juju people boku, come even join okada reach valley of the shadow of death sef, mai bodi dey inside cloth.Your rod back bone dey comfort me.

5. You don prepare egusi and pounded yam make I chop with suya join. All mai enemies dey look waa waa. You rub me for head with anti ebola Vaseline intensive lotion. Mai cup na river Niger wey overflow hin bank.

6. True true, betta life and mercy go gum mai back till I quench. And man pikin go tanda for God house from lai lai to lai lai.

http://..com/ for more reasons why I like am for here.

Finally, The Cure of Ebola is Here http://..com/2014/08/finally-cure-of-ebola-is-here.html

Finally, The Cure of Ebola is Here http://..com/2014/08/finally-cure-of-ebola-is-here.html

Finally, The Cure of Ebola is Here http://..com/2014/08/finally-cure-of-ebola-is-here.html

Finally, The Cure of Ebola is Here http://..com/2014/08/finally-cure-of-ebola-is-here.html

Finally, The Cure of Ebola is Here @ http://..com/2014/08/finally-cure-of-ebola-is-here.html