₦airaland Forum

@ Kenya...

well.. I could consider giving you a Folukemi or a Folasade [as a pet name - both names from my part of Nigeria..], but I'd have to see you to know what would fit... [also takes into consideration your religious persuasions..]

One thing though [just so u'll be aware..]

1. In Nigeria [or should I be so bold as to say Africa... ], names are generally given by one's parents or people on that level...]

2. All Nigerian names, and I should believe African names, have meanings and symbolism... You'd be hard put to find one that didn't...

Just so that you'd be in the know..


Saint.

ps.. personally, I'd prefer Sade... my favourite..

And what happens when one is both... ??

[falls into the two categories ... ]

what of when girls cheat..??

GP...

All said and done.. the buck stops at ur table... since it appears that u are the one in charge at the end of the day.. this is, u're the final authority.. the curlprits may not report to you directly, but their 'Oga's do.. meaning that at the end of the day, the onus falls to you..

Do what u think is right, and what will keep your conscience clear.. but don't make urself the fall guy..

A day older than yesterday, and a day younger than tomorrow.. 

I have a "quickie" before I go too far  ..

Is this supposed to be just the age or the birthday as well ?? ...

Anugirl,

Thot 'Anu' would be in there somewhere as well.. or is it just a nickname ??

Kenya..

Thot you'd have a nigerian name squeezed in there somewhere..

Kenya..

It's already happened before... So, there's no need in talking to the person.. the person's already been spoken to.. [GP shey ]..

Would these be courses [or subjects as they are more commonly known] or would these be diplomas and professional certifications [or should I have used the word certificate rather?]??

Man mi..

Is it worth the risk to your name and position trying to cover up for people who obviously haven't learnt their lesson??

You need to ask yourself what is important.. being seen to be good in people's eyes?? or having a clear conscience..

You say you've tasted unemployment before.. believe me, if u do not act decisively, you may be positioning yourself to taste it again... at your own expense..

my only advice here is to try and identify the actual curlprit, lest any innocent victim be affected..



my two kobo..

Saint.

Nike..

where did IAH come from then??

[thot it was ur initials.. ]

babe wahalla...

Overtake Don Overtake Overtake... a classic from Fela...

I thot u knew.. what of the other one we were discussing.. any hope??

you still haven't said which one of the damsels you are

have faith...

In yourself.. In your life.. and most importantly, in your abilities...

Basically... have faith... in YOU ! ! !



Saint..

I hate chain letters...

So...

No one has O.D.O.O ?? ..

How sad..  ..

Was really hoping I could get it from someone..

which one are you?? ...

Damn girl...
You're both FINE...

Waiting.... 

ps.. this is a "kodak" moment.. the picture quality is startling..

don't mind them jare..

Depends on what she has to offer...

ezinne1212:
Seriously, this is someones dream!  In reality, it is to much to ask of any human being, let alone a male.

Actually, I don't think so..
It is actually possible, but will take a real good searching for...

Kenya,

Baby girl, I really sympathise with your situation.

I'm just reading through this for the first time. (I've been away for a while, and never really came across blog before).

When I was reading through everything, and finally came to the end of the story (as it is for now) something kept coming across to me, which was, "come babe, what are you doing to yourself?" Everything I've read so far tells me that you are willing to fight to keep this guy, and to me you may end up loosing your own self-respect at the end of the day. From what you've written, you obviously love the guy a lot, and you honestly felt that you guys were heading for a together-ship (for a forever-ship).

But there was something fundamentally wrong with the situation. You never indicated for how long you guys have been together, though I can only conclude that it must have been for a while, since you're comfortable sharing his bed. Why then are you guys just beginning to define the relationship, asking him what his intentions are, etc? The mere fact that you guys were rolling together should have made that clear in both of your minds.

Apparently, even with all the dialog, there was a fundamental lack of communication. Did he ask you out formally, or did you guys just have an affinity for each other and from there drift 'naturally' into the relationship? You say you're both in a courtship for marrige. Has he proposed to you? Are you guys engaged formally?

Forgive me for saying this, but I can say it with all honesty because I've been on both sides of the frence. I've been considered both a Saint and a Wolf. People will give you both stories about me, depending on how I've rubbed them in the past.

You might wonder why I'm going into all this history, but have patience with me for a minute, I'm just trying to give you the perspective of a guy in this, so you can have an idea of the mindset of a guy [a peek into a man's mind]. I'm not saying that the position is correct, but that this is how many men think. Maybe when you understand this better, you'll know how to position your self and your heart better in future.

The male mind has been considered to be quite one-tracked when it comes to matters of the heart. Men have been considered selfish, uncaring and insensitive. But the otherside also holds true, that men can be most romantic, loving and deep, when they decide to be.

But one fact remains true: a guy has the belief that he can love more than one, that he can share his heart with more than one babe without any apparent conflict of interest being created, that he can maintain multiple relationships without either party having to be aware nor offended by his actions. So when he goes out and decides to play the field and have fun or indulge himself in other relationships, he believes (whether correctly or not is a matter of opinion, and can be left to discussion for another day) that he can hold his heart true to the one he has chosen to love.

However, when he feels that his indescretions are being subjected to too finely focused a microscope, he starts to get cagey, and starts to wonder what all the fuss is about. Why he's being subjected to all this harrassment or monitoring. Then he starts to ask himself if he made a mistake in getting into this relationship to start with. His assurances to you then may start to sound hollow and insincere, and this further worsens the situation because the vibes he gets from you tell him that although you might not say anything that you don't believe a word he has said (which is more or less calling him a liar to his face, even if you havent said a word)

Subjecting him to the barrage of questions, and further pointing out to him that it was clear he had lied about an incident only re-inforces this belief in his mind - that you don't trust him, and that you're treating him like a piece of property and not an individual or person, who is capable of making mistakes, but not wanting to be berrated, harangued or lamblasted for his errors, follies or weaknesses (note that he might not hesitate a second in doing this to you if the tables were reversed. Men can be mean )

The bottom line is that at the end of the day, things change. A seed has been sown which has germinated into what neither of you even expected, and the situation has to be dealt with.

It's apparent to me that this is not your first relationship, neither is it the first time you've experienced heart-break, hence I can infer that in this particular relationship, you opted to be "the most perfect girlfriend" you could be, not crowding on him, giving him space, dialoging with him when necessary, being there in his bed, etc, etc.

When you got this info from your source about his indescretions, you tried to approach this in a calm and matured way (this tells me that you are no spring-chicken, and have the ability to exercise the kind of maturity required)

While on the surface of this, this might appear to me the best line of action you may have felt would have guaranteed you a long and healthy relationship, some thing that most women tend to foget is that by nature, women are fundamentally possesive, and no matter how they try to act against this nature it's there inside them, and there's nothing they can do about it..

You are only defending your position in this relationship, and that's to be expected. However, a guy will alway feel he needs his space. To roll with the guys when he wants to, to feel as free as he wants to be, when he feel he has a need to. When he feels that this is being threatened, every cell in his being will revolt against this.

You concluded saying that you feel let down by his abandoning you when you had a breakdown (especially at that time of day) and also by the fact that he hadn't bothered to contact you to let you know what was going on with him, even if he couldn't make it anymore.

If I may be so bold as to offer you some advice, I'd say that you let him be, and truly ask yourself if the loss of your personal self-respect is worth it. Don't write, don't call, don't communicate. If he feels he's lost someting important, he'll come back looking for it. If not, then it's time to move on.

You say you don't want to be hurt, and want to call it quits. As far as I'm concerned, you're already hurt, though you may not just realise it yet. If you had to go to the extent of quesitioning him that deeply about the incident, then the hurt was already there. You may only just be coming to terms with it.

Also, even if he does come back to you, begging and appologising, I believe that it would be better if you guys come clean and declare your stands in the relationship. You may have felt that you were couring for marriage, but does he have the same impression or intention? That was why I asked at the onset whether or not he had proposed to you or if you were there believing that if you could do all that for him, that he would get the picture that you were seriously committed to the relationship for the long-haul.

These things are better made clear from the onset. Waiting for him to propose to you may not be the correct option if it was never his intention to do so.

Lastly, but most importantly, there's one skill or grace you have to request specially from God.. and that is the ability to "let go" If something is not yours, nothing will ever make it yours. Likewise, if something is yours, nothing will ever take it away from you. This is not to say that you shouldn't fight for what is rightfully yours, but that you should be able to know when to call it a day, and move on.

I don't think your friend was out of order to call this to your attention. You on your own may have already sensed or felt that something was amiss in the relationship long before this was brought to your attention. It only would have re-inforced your beliefs. I don't think your friend was being an ... what's the word? Yes, an "adaleru" - a home wrecker or relationship-scatterer. I believe he was only looking out for a friend whom he considered close enough to warrant such.

But on the flip side, do be careful of friends. You never said much about your relationship with him, he may even have his own intentions for you (as in relationship) even if you haven't considered him in that perspective or seen him in that light.

Hope I haven't been unnecessarily pedantic with this, or that it comes across as being too dislocated. I haven't had my morning cup of coffee yet, so my thoughts aren't quite collected. I was rather touched by your situation, and had to offer my two kobo of advice to you.

Saint.

Does anyone have Fela's O.D.O.O ...

[Overtake Don Overtake Overtake...  for the uninitiated... ]




.... [b]F[/b]or [b]E[/b]ver [b]L[/b]ives [b]A[/b]frobeat... 

Cos they have a primary and secondary school in Uniben...

Or you didn't know before ...

Put my name down.. but what does it involve ...

Thanks luv...

But.. come oh...

wahalla dey... cos I be mosheshe... 

Primary school: Uniben [USS]
Secondary school: Uniben [UDSS]
University: Uniben

[quote author=hot-angel link=topic=519.msg8915#msg8915 date=1120185017]Pinky!!! You are Damn Fine!!! (I am not a lesbian but I must confess you look gorgeous).[/quote]where's the picture now.. where can I find it

Fox:
I believe that sex can be seperated from deep feelings and both guys and girls can have sex with one person while in love with somebody else.  If the guy feels that he cannot stay faithful to his girl then what I would do in his shoes would be to tell the girl hey I still love you but right now I don't want to end up cheating on you and losing you in the long run so why don't you do your thing back home and I'll do mine here and if we are meant to be together then someday when I'm more mature and ready to maintain a deep, loving and faithful relationship I'll come back for you.

this is not a mature way of thinking..

[quote author=hot-angel link=topic=439.msg8916#msg8916 date=1120185128]

CimonJorr:
[quote author=babadudu link=topic=439.msg8748#msg8748 date=1120137393][quote author=CimonJorr link=topic=439.msg8479#msg8479 date=1120028275][quote author=hot-angel link=topic=439.msg8246#msg8246 date=1119942404]listening to "call my name" by styl plus!

Could you send it to me.. as an attachment file..  [/quote]See this thief  ....saying send it as an attachment file.[/quote]Hon, you didn't do nutting, I don't even know how to send the thing.

wetin I do you now [/quote][/quote]record it as a wma file or an mp3 and send it by email...

lever don dey fail everybody... now that it's judgement time..