₦airaland Forum

Kachisbarbie:
I am surprised it has gotten to the point of tagging my question daft. Everyday I give women KYC forms, once they get to State of Origin_ some would pause and ask me "my own or husbands own?". Some would authoritatively write their husband's own, till I notice the discrepancy with their IDs.

Abi is it an eastern thing? Because it's common here in the East o

bebe2:
I just love the openess of Some cultures about death, but it still spooky wen they advertise funeral insurance asking folks to pay for their funerals expense in advance .

Miami11:
If that was a step son would you have let him at 14 years sleep with mum and step father.
What happened to his bed. His own room

Kachisbarbie:
This argument has been on between my colleagues and I, some of us insist a woman maintains her maiden state of origin (officially) after marriage, others say she changes to her marital state of origin .

To the Mrs in the house, which state of origin do you put on official forms (e.g) bank documents, travelling, sim registration...etc.?

loshybab:
TEENage starts at thirTEEN and ends at nineTEEN

I888:
Madam, I didn't chicken out. I am only avoiding a case where this will turn into dirty fight/battle cos you and I will never agree on this subject which is already so glaring.

Her perspective is widely varies as we are both looking at it from different angles, which are right, only that you feel it's big issue while I feel it's simple.

You feel the best approach is being aggressive to it while I feel otherwise.

So you see where we both stand? Good. We are far apart as far as this subject is concerned.

I888:
As you can see, I didn't bother quote you anymore and advise you do same. Have you had your own child since you got married? Please come back and share your experience when you do. In the mean time, I give you same advise: "take several seat and you don't make sense to me"

I888:
There is nairalander, not a Nigerian though, who shows so much love on her stepson. OMG! That lady is DAMN complete in all ramification. You would think the child is hers. She has had to take care of that boy for more than 2 years and she just had her own child last year.

What do you think a good man will do to such a woman? How would the child react when he sees his mother in the future? I don't know why people just feel they are above every other humans when both will be buried in same ground.

Just imagine! I am not saying the girl in question is doing something right, she may not even be aware that it is wrong and we do not know her relationship with her dad prior to the coming of the OP who seem threatened by her presence lol.

Simple education and heart to heart talk in a friendly manner will solve this. Is there anything bad if she propose to spend time with the girl and make her fears disappear, cuddle her etc? At least both her women! a perfect chance for her to win the father's heart even more. BUT NO, she feels threatened and challenged.

sickstars:
3some ke ?

Its nt everytime me nd my hubby will b avin sex
M ok if i av a child related by blood sleeping on d bed with me nd hubby m d loving loving kinda mum


Just cos she sleeps on d bed with us doesnt mean morally she wont stand out among her peers

Every one does wat suits dem ma

A 14yr old doesnt av d intention of avin sex with her dad ma!

I888:
The emboldened is one of the major reason for my earlier post. Just imagine the angery undertone her post and those of others around here and which is why I said if it were her own child it would be a different story. Hiding under the pretense that she is 14 year old ish. She does not like the girl in question and it's very obvious for discerning mind. It's very obvious from the tone of her post.

I know a certain nairalander who adores her stepson such that you would wonder if she was the real mother. I won't be surprise to see that boy grow up to call her his mother.

This something friendship can solve but hey... hatred and disdain has overtaken over back to back.

Olasco93 has given you best advice be careful how you go about this thing, otherwise, what may come afterwards will you shock you to marrows. Mothers are very protective of their offspring and as a woman, you should know better.

It's

sickstars:
Do u mind her?

She started calling me names

Over a child dats ur own husband's blood na wa for sum women

A child froma broken hme u cant show her love?
considering d same blood flows in ur own kids vein same with d girl!
Omo any child in my own care is good as my own

Wud love d child i love my heart

I wud take it as fun imagine me nd my hubby tryin to run to make love in anoda room d running d tip toe things gettin to d guest room closing d door laughin at ourselves gettin down to business it sounds fun to me


I love to turn situations to favor me


Op is just a bitter woman! Competition with a 14 yr old ur husband's daughter madness!

I just had to agree to their madness m nt in d mood to insult today or argue deep dunno why

fellis:
Lmao
See suffer head first.
Ok so the fact that she is assisting her husband with money is now a problem? If she no give am they will start shouting that women should assist financially because times are hard.
Endless confusion.

@OP, I don't believe that story abeg. These facebook copy and paste tales are usually made up.

sickstars:
Wat did i do

All am sayin is she sleeping on d bed is but for a while

Wen puberty fully sets in she hersef wud b hiding from her dad

Am an educationist i av learnt nd studied and done research on children early childhood all d stages in a child's life nd d psychological effects

I kno wat am saying professionally

byvan03:
I remembered the instruction in the beginning of the sentence, then forgot . I will modify,my phone has fallen off my hand twice, sleep typing then.

byvan03:
A good man is that man with a living conscience and a flexible disposition.

eyinjuege:
What strong words were used? What brash measures were suggested?

Like most have said, it doesn't sound right for a 14year old to sleep in the parents room. It should be discouraged.

People have said the father should ask the girl not to, the stepmum should talk to her, some have suggested she should be allowed for a couple of min and should be taken back to her room but no one has suggested any brash measures.

The real mum would have probably chased her out of the room sef.

The words silly and outrageous aren't as strong as you think. In this context, it probably just means shocking/non conventional/passing reasonable bounds.

I888:
I don't dispute boundaries but what I am saying is that it's a VERY simple case that can easily be solved but the OP is already so worked up about the whole thing.

You lied about your daughter and I know if such should happen, you won't use such strong words to describe her act. You would even pet her and talk to her mildly.

But here you are advocating some brash measures to be carried on another's child, which I do not find pleasing.

Note that I am not supporting the girl doing it but someone of her age does not act that way without a reason.

I888:
you women amaze me and get jealous at the slightest chance while being defensive if the table was turned.

Would you use such negative words if the person involved was your daughter?

Do you know the relationship between the said girl and her dad prior to getting married to the OP?

The OP is angry because the girl isn't her child and I am more than 100% sure she won't be this angry if it were to be her child. Like someone advised, this line could make or mar her place in the man's heart. If I were the man, she sure would lose her place in my heart, Reason being that I won't see her own daughter as a "step" whatever.

It's a very simple thing but jealousy would make you women complicate things.

It's highly based on the relationship she had with her father, well bonded, before the divorce.

Miami11:
I agree, a 14 year old girl has already started menses, boobs, puberty, what is she doing jumping in her dads bed, never heard of such madness not in Africa at least,

Reminds me of the post about a dad bathing a 15 year old, what are we not gonna see for naira lol

ojeota:
Interesting
I cant imagine how it feels like being cremated when dead.
The body will be gone and all you are left with is just the soul.

mysticgal:
Ekpang kukwo . I dunno if I got the spelling right. And I also learnt from my mum who is efik.
Ingredients :
Water yam or cocoyam
Palm oil, enough to make porridge
Green leaves (spinach)
Perry winkles
Smoked fish
Stockfish
Salt to taste
Stock cubes
Seasoning if you wish.
Preparations ;
Peel either of the yams, wash and grate it, which will produce a smooth paste. Then wash the leaves properly to remove sand and then roll the paste with the leaves.
Meanwhile,use oil to coat the bottom of your pot,and proceed with putting your rolled paste into the oiled pot, and then you boil water, average quantity of water enough to make porridge when done.
Pour your boiled water in the pot of rolled paste and then put all the ingredients, don't mix it to avoid the paste scattering and burning. Cover the pot and put on fire, after 7 to 10 minutes when the paste must have solidified a bit then you turn, add salt to taste and leave for some minutes to turn porridge and get done. Bring down from fire and open the pot.
Ekpan kukwo is good to go
Cococandy hope this helps.

NL1960:
Tell them o. If i have my way, all secondary schools in this country should be boarding. Just sent my son to boarding school last year for JSS1. He now feels bored at home when he is on holiday. The same way i used to feel then when i was home for holidays from the boarding house after just a week of staying at home.

Ujoan:
Back to Naija culture . . . imagine a woman telling her husband it was ok to die . . . people will interpret it as being eager to be a widow so she can jump off to the next man.

When you see naija widows screaming, it's not because they are actually so sad that they can't control themselves, but they need to act their way so their in-laws won't accuse them of killing their child! The woman would probably have watched her husband suffer and in pains for so long and is probably releived he has gone off to a better place, but is she doesn't tear her wrapper and scream the walls down, she will be termed a 'black widow'.

Naija sha, I hail you!