Family › Re: Feminism: A Joke In Nigeria—for Now! by cococandy(f): 7:13pm On Jun 02, 2015 |
TooNoisy: Your first post which suggests a woman's worth is not tied to a man. This really means married should not be important to women, just like it is considered less important to men. Your above posts really suggests marriage should be de-emphasized just like the real feminists want it. something being important to you does not mean your worth a human being is tied to it. |
Family › Re: Feminism: A Joke In Nigeria—for Now! by cococandy(f): 6:59pm On Jun 02, 2015 |
FrancisTony: Hahahaha, there's no benefit of having an uncircumcised dick except that it will adding some inches compared when circumcised.
From what I've read in some forums, ladies find it ugly and eyesore. It contacts STD'S faster according to research. i don't even know what it looks like. Things people do for political correctness nowadays. It's like if you say don't circumcise females, then don't circumcise males too. Good thing is it can be done in adulthood too. |
Family › Re: Feminism: A Joke In Nigeria—for Now! by cococandy(f): 6:56pm On Jun 02, 2015 |
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Family › Re: Feminism: A Joke In Nigeria—for Now! by cococandy(f): 6:55pm On Jun 02, 2015 |
bukatyne: The issue now is mental 
Deep down, men and women feel women are inferior to men. time will take care of that. Baby steps at a time. But there will surely be a feminist revolution in Nigeria. As sure as the sun rises. |
Family › Re: Feminism: A Joke In Nigeria—for Now! by cococandy(f): 6:53pm On Jun 02, 2015 |
TooNoisy: But you just said in a previous post that women should not necessarily desire a man or marriage. So why should we teach our daughters to desire marriage at all? Seems you not very sure of your own stand.
Feminism itself teaches women to be self sufficient in all things and not necessarily desire marriage. In order words, we need to stop teaching our daughters to desire marriage.
By the way, the right reason is very very subjective. What you think is right varies alot. what part of ignore don't you understand? See me see wahala.  Nne hapum aka. Leave me alone with your deliberate misunderstandings. Only you know what you stand to gain by fabricating stories. First you didn't quote me. Even after you did.  I accepted for peace to reign. Now I'm saying it is wrong to teach a lady that she needs to be married to be respected and you've managed to twist it into me saying women shouldn't desire marriage. What's up with you? |
Family › Re: Feminism: A Joke In Nigeria—for Now! by cococandy(f): 6:43pm On Jun 02, 2015 |
FrancisTony: Male mutilation is actually great. Uncircumcised men contact disease faster than circumcised ones.
Female mutilation is evils and wicked. some guys are now left to make the choice for themselves when they grow up. I don't know if that's better. I can't really say since I'm not a guy but I'd assume it would be less painful when done as a baby. |
Family › Re: Feminism: A Joke In Nigeria—for Now! by cococandy(f): 6:38pm On Jun 02, 2015 |
Stillfire: I respect your own stance too. I don't believe masculinity is superior to femininity. Neither is a husband superior to a wife. The dictionary clearly explains what those terms mean. When we allude to the superiority of men, we allude to our inferiority. However at the moment, since we live in a patriarchal society, are we just going to keep quiet? Absolutely not. We can start from what structures are put in place to protect womanhood? And how are they enforced? I cannot leave it in the hands of a patriarchal system that would rather I kept quiet because their egos are getting crush. I think for now, the basics have been established in NIGERIA. Now education is a right. only that parents in those heavily religious and cultural areas need more enlightenment. They need to know that their kids have a right to refuse being married off against their wishes and that the kids right is supposed to be honored regardless of what their religion says. If we begin to teach our daughters to desire marriage for the right reasons (family and love) and not as social status thing. That would be a big step. As for the others didn't GEJ just pass a bill into law which criminalizes violence against persons in the family setting and abdication of ones responsibilities to their kids. So any woman who doesn't feel safe at home can legally separate from the husband and he could be penalized under the law. Also no woman is supposed to use the excuse of staying for the kids to endure abuse. She should be able to support them partly and have the man bring his quota. Failure on his part to do so is now an offense and he can be prosecuted for it. It's all relatively new. But with time, they should become common place. I don't know if pay gap exists in the Nigerian civil service. So imma keep shut about that. As for the rest, it's all societal perception. There's no law that states men are superior but the nuances are all there. It will only take time,the cultivation of self esteem and positive self redefinition amongst the ladies to stop buying into that idea. Then it will go away by itself. Maybe in 300yrs who knows.  |
Family › Re: Feminism: A Joke In Nigeria—for Now! by cococandy(f): 6:20pm On Jun 02, 2015 |
TooNoisy: Show me where I ever quoted you.
You people just attack personalities when you do not have reasonable arguments. Ok you didn't quote me. Can we move on? |
Family › Re: The Family Section Fun Room!! by cococandy(f): 6:13pm On Jun 02, 2015 |
edwife: Yes and you can see how she is trying to make it less visible but it's just not working. But you know what God loves this woman,she is a lucky lady!
From her accident to her marriage etc.... Lucky indeed. God really loves her. |
Family › Re: Feminism: A Joke In Nigeria—for Now! by cococandy(f): 6:09pm On Jun 02, 2015 |
VictoriaBee: Why are you obsessed with her?
Are you a lesbian? my dear, pls ignore |
Family › Re: Feminism: A Joke In Nigeria—for Now! by cococandy(f): 6:08pm On Jun 02, 2015 |
TooNoisy: I am sorry if you found my post offensive.... I was just offering a simple solution to an issue you raised. No offense meant 
I have not noticed you like to ignore me because I can't remember quoting you. lmao  It is well. If you would kindly face the topic now. |
Family › Re: Feminism: A Joke In Nigeria—for Now! by cococandy(f): 6:06pm On Jun 02, 2015 |
Flies swatted off.
Back to the topic. The possible ways that feminism can be successful in Nigeria without giving way to radicalism. 1) stop demonizing the concept of a strong woman.
This happens two ways. Some ladies think being a strong woman is about being loud, 'toutish' and rude. Wrong. The concept of being a pillar by themselves is kind of alien.
Other people actually think it is bad for a lady to be seen as tough person.
I keep talking from experience. Where I come from, if you're perceived to have a strong personality as a lady, you're called 'acha nwanyi'. Literally doesn't translate to anything I can think of in the English language but it is a name nobody wants to be called. So there's this mind conditioning that makes ladies feel like they have to mask their strengths and be docile no matter what in order to be seen as ladylike. Even to their own detriment. Funny enough this is not how it used to be. Strong women used to be objects of admiration. What happened?
I think a woman can still be ladylike without being weak. strong without being rude or nasty.
Now the bad thing about demonizing strength in a woman is that any lady who feels like she doesn't want to fit into the box designed for her may tend to go the extreme length prove that she's not an inferior human being. Which is where the excess begin to come in. |
Family › Re: Feminism: A Joke In Nigeria—for Now! by cococandy(f): 5:47pm On Jun 02, 2015 |
I implore you to desist from quoting me. Take whatever it is that bites you to the origin where it came from. If you notice, I like to ignore you. Accord me the same courtesy pls. Thank you. TooNoisy: Why dont you go back to your village and educate your people that they are talking trash. It's more useful than attacking innocent men here. Don't you think you should go to educate your siblings and cousins in the village? Secondly, why not be the example they can all follow - may be you should not get married or if you are married, you should divorce your husband so that you can prove the saying wrong.
You feminists should focus on the big issues affect those uneducated women in villages. |
Family › Re: The Family Section Fun Room!! by cococandy(f): 5:45pm On Jun 02, 2015 |
edwife: Episode 2
This was emotional,and i would have love for stephanie to create activities that will allow them spend time together because this was the only wish the lady had.I hope he kept to his word and spend more time with is wife.
But this woman needs to hit the gym,she will look even much better and much more appalling. Like yesterday. Did you notice steph still walks with a slight limp? Kai. This life eh |
Family › Re: Feminism: A Joke In Nigeria—for Now! by cococandy(f): 5:37pm On Jun 02, 2015*. Modified: 6:10pm On Jun 02, 2015 |
While I was growing up, I used to hear phrases like "ugwu nwanyi bu di ya" Loosely translates to "a woman is not worthy of respect except she has a man in her life:husband"
As young as I was, I didn't need anyone to tell me how wrong those teachings were. Little little things that subtly encouraged women to believe they were worth nothing except with the approval of a man.
If it takes having to endure one jab or the other here and there to help promote the idea that as woman your life shouldn't be what it is dictated to you as or that your worth as a human being isn't tied to a man, then so be it.
I'm so unapologetic about my support for feminism. Very very so. The useless guilt trips won't work as long as the discrimination still exists.
I'll try not act amused when folks coin new words like womanism abi na womanitarianism or equity (and all those other euphemisms) to try to get away from associating directly with the feminist core because of the bad rap,
It is what it is. It is feminism. It is about gender equality. |
Family › Re: OMG! See The Damages This Lady Has Done To Her Butt by cococandy(f): 2:43pm On Jun 02, 2015 |
Gosh I feel so sorry for her. She might have been trying to prevent getting a toilet infection from that filthy place. Gosh  So many horrible things to see on nairaland today. Don't have the stomach for breakfast anymore.  |
Crime › Re: Mob Kill A Policeman In Gombe For Allegedly Killing A Man (Graphic Pics) by cococandy(f): 2:41pm On Jun 02, 2015 |
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Family › Re: Feminism: A Joke In Nigeria—for Now! by cococandy(f): 6:48am On Jun 02, 2015 |
And bla bla bla continues |
Phones › Re: SEE How Iphone7 Looks Like by cococandy(f): 6:46am On Jun 02, 2015 |
mrcasanova1: If only everyone had this kind of mindset. These people will learn how to take it cool.
But then, they are feeding on people's desire to be 'trendy'. Even if 'normal' people no buy this thing, celebs will order them. dont mind me o  I don't really have that kind of mindset. I like trendy stuff too. |
Phones › Re: SEE How Iphone7 Looks Like by cococandy(f): 5:43am On Jun 02, 2015 |
Honestly, the way I see it, No need to buy all these expensive phones sha. Since you will buy one and before the money is cool in their pockets the one you have already outdated  |
Family › Re: Strictly For Women! by cococandy(f): 5:08am On Jun 02, 2015 |
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Family › Re: Strictly For Women! by cococandy(f): 5:00am On Jun 02, 2015 |
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Family › Re: Strictly For Women! by cococandy(f): 4:31am On Jun 02, 2015 |
Truckpusher: It's ya job and not mine.  oya leave me let me face my job na. I don't know who released you from the war front where you were fighting for ijaw people's rights. You need to get back there and face ya job. |
Family › Re: Strictly For Women! by cococandy(f): 3:42am On Jun 02, 2015 |
Truckpusher: You're here forming something else ,while in real life you're prolly licking ya hubby's ass like a big fat local dog that just saw a huge deposit of human excrete.
Kontinu  Exactly. Want some? |
Celebrities › Re: She's A Model, But How She Looks Will Shock You by cococandy(f): 12:28am On Jun 02, 2015 |
Normal is what we accept it to be. |
Family › Re: Who Needs More Discipline While Growing Up?the Male Or Female Child? by cococandy(f): 12:25am On Jun 02, 2015 |
Ideally It should be both.
but growing up for me was much like it was for you and many females I know. "Do this you're a girl. Don't do this you're a girl".
Was like an anthem.
I wonder how all that good training will yield fine results if the other half is not as well trained to complement us. |
Family › Re: 10 Surprising Things Your Kids Learn From Your Marriage by cococandy(f): 10:53pm On Jun 01, 2015 |
OP I assume you meant to say things kids learn from a good marriage.
If it is one where abuse is rife, that's all they will learn. May God help us and may we help ourselves to be good examples to our kids |
Crime › Re: Robbers Gang-Rape Nurse In Lagos Hospital by cococandy(f): 10:21pm On Jun 01, 2015 |
Holatunde007: Bros u believe her story? Where in Nigeria would u see nurse still with her virginity? Definitely my grandmother must be one  |
Jobs/Vacancies › Re: Pic.. See How Some Nigerian Women Hustles by cococandy(f): 10:16pm On Jun 01, 2015 |
This is not news. It's only on nairaland that all Nigerian guys are 'providers' and Nigerian women depend on them.
In real life, we know it's not the true picture |
Family › Re: I'm In Shock!!!!! by cococandy(f): 9:50pm On Jun 01, 2015 |
Insist on protected sex. That way the chances of anyone roping you in on a pregnancy that doesn't belong to you will be very slim. Be wise |
Family › Re: Bombshell As Fertility Study In Nigeria Shows Male Infertility Rates Higher by cococandy(f): 9:41pm On Jun 01, 2015 |
You're making sense. Just erase that last paragraph. E no follow  Too busy to go deposit a sample or collect the result or have a 30mins counseling? 5minsmadness: Usually the women don't come outright to say they are infertile. They ask to do a series of tests. After a while when the tests yield no logical result, the doctor asks about her kids. This might elicit a tear or two and the confession that she has no kids. Questions are asked about their health status and infections, etc and then "where is your husband?" pops up.
Most men are very sensitive about their nether regions and I might add "shy". It takes some coaxing to finally get them to be subjected to seminal fluid analysis tests. Once they see there is a solution to thier problem though, they are eager to come back for clinics and counselling.
For your second paragraph, most of the husbands are too busy trying to fend for thier families and sometimes their places of work don't help matters, they do not release the men to come for checkups or tests or counsellings. At the end of the day it is the patially working woman or full housewife that has all the time in the world to follow up on her health issues.
I feel like I am coming in at the middle of a previous agrument. I'm going to take a step back and observe things for a while... |
Family › Re: Bombshell As Fertility Study In Nigeria Shows Male Infertility Rates Higher by cococandy(f): 9:36pm On Jun 01, 2015 |
babyosisi: And their own test is very simple o for the most part Just abstain from sex a few days and use your hand to manipulate yourself and squirt in a cup Finish. Many of them won't even agree to that one let alone other tests to check the patency of their tubes etc ihukwa excuse  Something they even dash the toilet free of charge sometimes |