₦airaland Forum

I guess the personal unrelated jabs are to shut those who condemned the violence up.

kaboninc:
[size=18pt]THANK YOU!!!![/size]

So I look forward to that of babyosisi and cococandys'.

don't worry next time I hear someone is punching his wife or girlfriend, I will throw a congratulatory party for him because I don't have a perfect life hence I should root for violence so that my imperfection won't be exposed.

How silly.
Sometimes I wonder what angle some people like you post their comments from.

What does calling out this abusive guy have to do with having a perfect life?

Well 21 million people are insane in Nigeria abi? Not surprising

kaboninc:
Don't worry nau.

No be for here?

Just pray you don't use your moniker like pickabeau1 said.

I can't deal.

Can we please face the guy who thinks beating women is ok before throwing jabs at those who their lives aren't perfect but are pretending to be so?

Oh well since our lives aren't perfect, I guess we should clap for the guy who's insiting a woman deserves to be beat.

kaboninc:
My dear, these same folks you so much insult and bash could also have a long list of friends, family members who could also help them in one way or another. Yet them came to the open, to seek for advice (even when they started by fighting).

You are already taking sides. This is true that you are new in the community of the weds!

I don't wish you bad oh, never. But I look forward to the day you will come to the Nairaland Community.

you will grow old while waiting.

No be only Insult and bash. So I'm supposed to root for this violent abuser in order to seem nice? Mtchew.


#Some people think others are polymonikering cowards like them

remsonik:
Shebi its because the father hasn't thrown him into jail for impregnating his daughter that's he has the effontery to still open his poo mouth and type trash!!!!

exactly

kaboninc:
The BASHING PARTY has just arrived!

Not surprised though.

I look forward to the day babyosisi will come to Nairaland for advises. Don't call me Fayose yet.....

And that lady, cococandy....

I look forward to that day.

i have a mother. A mother-in-law. Three sisters. Eleven direct aunts. Countless indirect aunts. And a few nairalanders both male and female who I trust offline if it comes to involving neutral people who aren't family or friends.

I'm good thank you. You will wait a looooooong time.

[size=18pt]He would tell me how I was vulnerable, and how he was the only person who could love me. [/size]

Classic mark of the abusers of the worst predatory type. First strip the victim of self worth and self esteem then make them feel unlovable and undesirable so that they feel indebted to them, hence more willing to tolerate the abuse because somewhere inside them, they have become conditioned to believe that it is their fault and they deserve it.
Cut off their support base.(friends) and rave when you don't get your way. Example insulting her father for not letting you see her after you finished beating her up. Shivers. I wouldn't want to be in the same room as you.

Why won't her friends hate you when you sexually molest one them. Oh you don't remember. How convenient. If it is a lie, deny it. Such a big deal is not something to feign amnesia over.

"I beat her. She deserved it" rings a bell.

Mcdokwe if you ever truly opened your mouth to tell this young lady that she's Vulnerable and that you're the only person who could love her, you're a man to be afraid of.
You understand predator/prey relationship quite well and have no qualms applying the technique.

These guys supporting you wouldn't want a man like you near their daughters.they will shoot you first and ask questions later.
Just that we are on NL and no one wants to admit being wrong.

dre11:
Am sure you have read the guy reply and the word he said to her that she counted as a whole wide world abuse....

that is highly insulting. Very.

coogar:
https://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lsaqu2hrEN1qbs7vs.gif

see me see wahala

Coogar abeg abeg. Let me finish this mcdokwe abi macdowell first.

coogar:
i dunno about other men but i have a million percent of that right. it's a take it or leave it offer. if i believe a friend or a group of friends my partner(not even wifey o) keeps is noxious to our relationship, i am within my God-given rights to tell her to stop seeing them.

if it doesn't sit well with her, she can fück off.....nicely! a partner doesn't have to be my child to take instructions from me. when a woman tells me yes - she has given me the rights to lead her. it's as simple as that. i have zero tolerance for bad friends.

good for you

mcdokwe:
Like I always say, even though you would and continue to insult me, I'm not about to say disparaging things about you or family here.
Thank God you are here finally and would hopefully state the truth. Even though I don't remember which friend you said I harrassed, I remember I had to sacrifice my relationship with the so-called ex to be with you, I remember how you tried your best to be friends with her and moan that I leave her, she was at an advantage but loved you and came for you, thankfully she was wise and gave me all the support to be with you instead, but remains a good friend whose impact in my life can't be overstated.
The post you refer to wasn't a pity party or a plea for you to come back(I've done that, don't regret it and like I said to you, I'm proud my ego didn't stop me) it was rather an advice to people out there not to create reasons for others to hit them, I only tried using my story to pass a message.
I remember saying I said some words but never could match you in words, saying I used you to explore sex was one of them but the least I could say as sex was explorable and we both explored each other.
It has been making the rounds that I insulted your dad to his face, lol. I won't say I didn't because I talked proud when I should be ashamed I got his daughter pregnant. But for those that would discern, I got a shocking call from your so called pastor, and then your dad that I shouldn't do anything I might regret, both sounding as though I had plans to harm anyone when the only thing I asked was for you to come so I could see you and my child and go back to base, I didn't understand but having wished to get across to your dad without success, I figured that could be my chance to sort out things with him and then offered to travel to meet him so we could sort things out, but your dad said I shouldn't bother coming but should rather wait till more than a year to try again. In that fit of anger (admittedly stu.pid) I asked if he expected me to abandon my own child like he abandoned you over a year and that was the insult.

Angel Michael.

You left you ex to be with her. No wait! You sacrificed you relationships with your ex to be with her. You must have felt you were doing her a favor by such a huge sacrifice. Only God knows how your friendship with the ex must have caused her pain and she had to endure your disrespect even at inviting her to sleep over in your place.
How would you have felt if she had an ex boyfriend giving her that kind of support with be with you.

You must think we are babies. Mtcheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew.

You beat up a man's daughter so much that a group of women couldn't separate you from dishing out the blows to her yet expect her father to be cool that you want her to come and visit again.
Really?

His mere statement of "don't try what you will regret" warranted an insult on his person and you're here forming gentleman.
He even told you to wait one year. Of course you can insult him because you're not behind bars where you belong.


I know your type. those who know how to spin words to appear more calm and collected than their victims meanwhile they are the cause of all the wahala.

Herzumpther:
My dear I tot its your sleeping time in America already. I'm so sorry.

no wahala was just kidding.

At bolded. No he's not. She's not his child.

I can't deal

Who places a man in a position to choose or cut off a friend his wife or girlfriend relates with?
Where do you folks get off with such high handedness? He can advice her if he feels they are not cool people but he has not 'right' to decide who her friends should be.

Jeez

coogar:
a man's responsibility is to lead his partner. part of that includes rules & curfews. i see nothing wrong with a man putting a wedge between his partner & bad friends.



if her friends are awful, then he's within his right to cut them off.



it depends on the reason for detesting him. if you detest his arrogance or good looks, it's not a valid reason. if you detest because he poisons your husband against you then it's a valid reason. the latter is the case with the OP.



why did she get pregnant for a guy that hasn't discussed any marriage plans with her? could it not also be argued she trapped him with the pregnancy or what are you saying?



looking out for a friend that bore a child out of wedlock. where was your advice when she was spreading her legs to enjoy unprotected sex?

Wedon:
That is how my husband's Aunt married a failure of a Man . . .

He would beat her senseless over a flimsy excuse. My MIL (the woman's elder sister) tried to intervene and they used her to settle. See the woman accusing my MIL of trying to break-up her marriage. All because she advised her to leave an abusive man . . .

Ngwa nu fast forward to 36 years later . . . The woman had to pack her property and run after finding concrete evidence that her husband wanted to kill her. . . she suffered and toiled and took all the abuse for 36 YEARS!!!

The useless man nko? Carrying Uni girls up and down and sleeping with new girls every night in their marriage bed . . glad that he is finally free of a a 36YO marriage!

A useless man is a useless man . . there is nothing you can do to change that!

it never gets better.

When I say I will leave at the first hunt of violence, some folks think na just talk. Any violent human binge is a time bomb waiting to explode. The only thing the victim is doing by taking it is just prolonging the inevitable and risking death too.

Herzumpther I can't believe you didn't alert me on time to this thread.

Phema:
How did it even get to that? How?? I'm talking from the premise that one is treated the way s/he is perceived. She must have come off as. . . Well, someone they can flog, pour hot soup on and get away with it.

Good thing he's an ex.

I've seen ladies bend to incredible curves to sustain peace in their marriage. And the effect of feeling alone in a marriage can make one quite spineless.
The way you look at one relative is an issue of it's own. You know it is we women who know how to interprete looks.
One will be like "The way Oke's wife looks at me ehn. She's quite disrespectful! Hmm"

That's how you've become rude and entered one MIL's or SIL's bad books.
Everything else you do is no good and you have to constantly work on keeping your cool so that the next action you take won't be twisted into several different meanings.

How much more when you say something.

I don't quite blame her. I would if she didn't leave.

toluleke:
so I should lock out my family because I am married..my mum is old enough to give birth to her so she has to take my mum behaviour like she is her mother..the main key in marriage is endurance, understanding and wisdom...if I know you don't like something I would endure,not do what you don't and mingle with you with wisdom..telling me to choose that an insult and I am not her property.God should just give one a good wife..that can take you as you are..

Hmm. Who asked you to lock out your mom?
You're only asked to work on boundaries. It is your responsibility as the child of your mom.

If your wife takes your mom as she takes her own mom, trust me your mom won't like it.
She won't tolerate your wife the way her own mom tolerates her because that familiarity is not there.

I for one would even be more careful and watch my words towards my mother-in-law than my own mom.

My mom can say something or suggest something I don't like and I can comfortably tell her "mommy pls leave me alone"

But can I try that with my MIL? No of course not. Nigeria will hear . This small girl is asking her MIL to leave her alone. How rude!
I won't try to play rough play with her Except I'm willing to go through the wahala that will arise from the Serious misinterpretations that will arise from that my statement.

Mind you my husband cannot say such to my mom without coming off as disrespectful Hence I'm in a better position than my husband to caution my mom if she begins to brew trouble in my own home.

So how hard can it be for you guys to nip trouble in the bud when you see it rearing its ugly head?
Especially since you know your wife can't freely address your mom as you can.

No one asked you to lock out your mom. She's impotant in your life too. Everybody needs a loving and supportive family aside from their immediate family (husband,wife and kids)

I believe we are all adults. Let's not be simplistic towards human relationships since we know it is not all black and white.

This same PH where my sister entered one chance bus? God save us o.

OP let's keep praying for your brother. He will return safe and sound. Amen.

Phema:
Please take this irritating story outta here! Your MIL flogged and poured hot soup on you, are you a goat?? Wetin dey bring that kain rough play? You sef come still open mouth dey talk am.

Talk about zilch self worth. Mstcheeewww

well she said ex mom. So I'm guessing she left. Who would survive in such marriage kwanu?

[b]it all depends on the man. If your wife ever asks you to choose between her and your mom,then There is something you're not doing right as a man. My father will never come first before my husband. I will never allow the authority he has over me as a dad affect my relationship and respect for my husband. He(my dad) will never overstep his boundaries even though I will forever be his little girl.
He can't call the shots in my home when I have a man in my own home. He won't pry into stuff that is beyond his privacy security clearance .

Same as my mother.

If they tried to, I will respectfully let them know that a decision on the issue at hand will be reached based on what I agree with my husband on. And they will be absolutely fine and content with that. No grumbling or side talking about my husband with my siblings. Sowing seeds of hatred and discomfort towards the poor guy whenever he's in their midst. Nope they won't.


Now guys,why is it so hard for y'all to man up and lovingly respectfully put your parents especially moms in their place when it comes to your own immediate family? You fold your arms and watch things escalate until your wife is at the point of breaking then blame her for resorting to the only method that seems to get you to sit up. Ultimatums!

Please guys the only solution to this problem lies in your hands. Your mom will meddle as far as you let her. Mind you your wife has parents too. If every parents comes into the marriage to exert their authority, we will have four parents breathing fire and unease into a marriage already having its own issues to begin with. How will the marriage last?
If two people (husband and wife) can't get along superbly all the time, how do you expect them to fare when there is a third party forming protector of the weak always in their business making the other person feel sidelined?


Gentlemen, three is a crowd
[/b]

That said, OP that question is a rude one and not very diplomatic so I alongside you implore young ladies not to use it.
Doesn't solve the problem.

See as the bros dey happy.
In fact the happiness is infectious because I just dey here dey smile like say na me find wife.

Thank God for you o. Happy married life

What a thread

OP pay me let me teach you the secrets of the marine world.

#kidding

Kachisbarbie:
Very true o.
The last time I was in this position ehn, they tabled my matter for village. They said I am using all my husband's money to buy shoes.


How many pairs kwanu? Just like 80

hehehe

Carry on. Nothing do you.

Always buy the very expensive ones.
No non-designer brand.

Make who wan quench go hang himself.
Make sure you wear a different one from the last time you visited the person who complains the most.

#willsoonconvertoneroomintoacloset

armyofone:
Present love BR

I like uncle Bens on occasion though. Just those excessively sticky white rice...

ok

.

Yep. You have a sister in moi

moca:
Thanks ladies.
Made me feel like I have sisters.
Just back and mi leg is hurting so bad.
All things being equal will transport him to onitsha by weekend,then burial after elections.

E never give me mouth but we will survive.

Thanks all. I appreciate.

At ifyalways, that's ur bro.

armyofone:
I hate all whitish bleached rice.

The

brown rice fan?

armyofone:
I love Naah and chicken masala sauce, yummy.

I don't like their white rice/Jasmine rice. Just Naah(on your plate) and masala.

oh this one ain't jasmine rice. I dislike jasmine rice too.

Chinese take out for lunch.

Too lazy to cook these days


The shrimp is simply awesome

njuwo:
1. Don't shout on her and not expect a slap, she is the woman of the house.

2. Don't deny her sex and expect her to be faithful, if she can't get it from you, she would search somewhere else.

3. If you don't cook for her. "They" would and that's a fact.

4. Don't leave the house cause she had offended you or cheated on you. "They" would pack in.

5. Don't dishonor her when she was poor and expect her to honour you when she is rich. SHe is not Santa Claus.

6. If you don't contribute financially, don't expect to be respected, you will need more than one trick.

7. Don't be wicked to her and think she should be nice to you, it is called karma my brother.

8. Don't admire others and look down on her and then expect her not to do the same, you are only being unrealistic.

9. If you don't share with her, she also won't, no hard feelings.

10. Don't expect her to be nice and God fearing, if you met her in a club. Church don finish for your area and besides, what is an angel
doing in a devil's pit?

How nice

Tell them.