₦airaland Forum

Maybe look at this way.
Education gave them resources to fend for themselves. Now they have the option to walk away from bad marriages. We know women stayed married in the past because husbands were their literal meal tickets. They couldn’t own bank accounts, property or stocks unless their husbands or fathers approved. The financial power that men deliberately held over them made it impossible to leave even in the face of abuse.
Now armed with better resources, they can walk if things get bad.

So education didn’t make them bad wives. It empowered them to leave bad marriages.

Unless y’all’s definition of a good wife is one who sits through abuse . Is it??

revolt:
What's the statistics you use to convince people domestic violence is a pandemic ? However I will state facts and let you deduce. In the U.S, the black community several case studies showed, when women were less college educated in the 60s and 70s the marriage rates were over 70 percent and the highest amongst all U.S demographics. With the significant enrolment through affirmative action of black women in college... the divorce rates have sky rocketed and marriage rates drastically reduced with a significant increase in babymamahood. Infact almost 90 percent of divorces are filed by women in the black community and its interesting to note blackwomen are the most enrolled WOMEN in college today. If you use critical reasoning then we wouldn't go back and forth in this regard.

Cousin9999:
So you're sympathetic to violent racists?

Do you know what that region does to African people?

Do I know what they do to Africans? They sell them into slavery and human trafficking and more. Do you know what Africans do to Africans? We sell, kill each other and sell our parts for money rituals and organ trafficking. So my point still stands that we haven’t reached the point where we look down on other countries without also seeing how bad we are. I once saw a video where two Nigerian men held another man down and cut him open alive so that they could get his organs while they were still fresh. They didn’t consider giving him the mercy of killing him first. I can’t see such things and still have the mouth to talk about violence in South Asia being worse. Not when there’s a dead headless body missing part making the headlines every other day.

But you’re going off tangent with that. What’s the correlation between this your comment and my opinion about our high rate of corruption and violence? Are you kidding?

Both America and UK that everyone is rushing to are also racist countries (maybe not overtly). But if someone says those countries are better than Nigeria does it mean they support racism? So how am I sympathetic to violent racists by pointing out our own corruption? That’s wild bro.

Nairalanders and random assumptions. I don’t know how you came to that conclusion.
I think I’m done with this conversation.

baby124:
They think they are doing us here. They don’t know the small boys that will marry their daughters are buying into their daft ideas

Oh this part . Spot on

Because they are trying to one-up their significant others, they end up creating a society that’s detrimental to their female offspring and loved ones

Cousin9999:
lol So you want to live in west Asia?

No I don’t.
Does that change the fact that we are high on the list of corrupt and very violent countries?
They being worse like you said doesn’t mean we get to point fingers. Not in our current situation. That’s my point

Teespice:
How can they be at the forefront of gay rights when gay people repulse them so much.

Anybody paying attention to what these two faced "Alfa Mails" say does not have sense.

Honestly I’m confused too

Okay
Well they may be worse but I don’t believe we are in a position to be point out how awful they are when our corruption is through the roof and our violence is still phenomenal.

Cousin9999:
There isn't a single country in west Asia that's not worse than Nigeria. Human tr4fficking is legal and encouraged in west Asia. Violence against women is legal and encouraged in west Asia. Inbreeding is legal and encouraged in west Asia. They're just as corrupt as Nigeria if not worse.

Not everyone in Nigeria is struggling, and many who go abroad choose to return. Look at the Lebanese setting up shop in Nigeria, and not a west Asian country.

The majority of west Asians you find littering Europe are on public assistance. The majority of Nigerians are educated and hardworking. A Nigerian PhD would rather take blue collar work than accept a handout.

West Asian culture is miserable. They'd love to be able to claim Nigerian culture.

I won't even get into terrorism.

The way this niqqa humiliated Amber Rose because a white woman Kim K smiled at him. Now look at him groveling. She and her family should show him that “rAciSm dOesn’t eXist” like he so fondly used to say.
Now he’s playing the race card too. Disingenuous

pacespot:
It seems you made a good point right there, Kanye going religious might have upset Kim Kardashian a lot, women like Kim wouldn't like a religion person at all. She is an outgoing pop culture celebrity to the bone. This can be only reason she married Kanye in the first place.

False. Her family operates a private church that they use to avoid taxes.

Pathetic Lunatic

I would normally be on the side of a lover boy
But he’s a self hating mofo. So good riddance. Kim’s probably better off without him.

You didn’t add our country to that list. The log in our eye is to big for us to be looking at the speck in west Asias eye

Cousin9999:
1. Guys that think like this tend to come from the worst places and cultures on earth. These are societies with rampant depravity like violent crime, violence against women, inbreeding, and all kinds of backwards thinking. For example, west Asia.

2. Guys who believe this tend to be repressed hómósexuals. They think so little of women because they're attracted to men, and because they're jealous of women. They want men to see them the way men see women.

3. No intelligent person honestly believes this.

elantraceey:
You men will soon start marrying yourselves.

at this point I’m surprised they are not at the forefront of gay rights since women offend them so much

Cookie14:
I always tell pple that feel this way, when its ur time to educate ur children, ask ur girl child to stay in the kitchen, groom her for a man and allow the rest of us that wants to give our girl child same education as our boy child do so In peace.

Imagine if people like this are in positions of power.
And they are. Many plenty multitudes of them. Who believe women should be held down.

Even though there’s no law commanding them to oppress women, do you think they’ll give women the same considerations as men even if the women are equally qualified as the men? The common sense answer is no.
And that’s the female oppression that we talk about.

revolt:
Well we can't argue with statistics. The probability of being a terrible wife increases significantly as she acquires more degrees. Statistically proven.

terrible by whose standards?

alphaNomega:
Lol. How many children do you have?

a few . Why?

OP you’ve received splendid advice here.
Good luck

InTheCloudySky:
Some kids are naturally inquisitive and it ends there, while others can push the boundary of being inquisitive well into the ‘nosey’ area. Nosiness shouldn’t go unchecked. If not addressed when kids are young, their nosiness could worsen as they grow up and could be the source of annoying habits such as eavesdropping from behind doors, snooping around on your computer, and even listening into phone conversations.

1. Anytime you notice her being nosy or snooping again, let her know it's wrong and that she shouldn't do it again. E.g. when you noticed she read the list of the things you want God to do for you in 2022, you should've done the above. You're her guardian; it's your duty to correct her when she's doing something inappropriate. It doesn't mean you should maltreat (and I'm glad that's not the case here ) but you don't have to keep mute either. Treat her the same way you would treat your own daughter when you catch her doing something she shouldn't be doing.

2. Lock up the things you don't want her to see or store them where she won't have access.

3. Have a relationship with her, so she can build trust with you. That way, she will feel free to confide in you about things she sees (e.g. the sex scene) as opposed to keeping them in.

4. Find out what her hobbies and talents are and redirect her energy towards them.

Perfect
100

socialmediaman:
Was she completely separated from her biological mother, as in, she doesn't see her biological mother at all? How old was she when that happened? If she has access to her biological mother, does she act the same way towards her? Maybe she doesn't tell you things because she doesn't feel connected with you, and maybe her gossip about you is her way of finding succor or favour with other people. A child in her situation could act the way she does if she is afraid of or doesn't trust or feel connected to her stepmother. When you punish her for instance, she may see it as disdain for her a sign that you hate her, rather than a correctional measure, especially if her step siblings get a pass or other people treat her differently. Then she tries to connect with other people by telling on you.

Assuming she's passing through psychological crisis related to being separated from her mother, your goal is to get her more comfortable to share her feelings with you. Show her some love or sense of belonging so that she can express herself about what's going on with her. When you get more information it will help you with next steps. Also, listen to her father's feedback about your relationship with her, don't see everything completely from your perspective alone

Truvelisback:
That girl is possessed with witchcraft.

here we go
Setting the stage for child abuse

Very nice

So beautifully presented

Akposy:
Take a glass of my Strawberry Mousse.

This is my first time making mousse

Belafonte:
Maybe, but the opinion is still super valid. Why do you need an OverEducated wife if I may ask?

Honey there’s no such thing as over education.
I don’t know who is teaching you that

Belafonte:
Having more than one degree

Okay.

Belafonte:
Extremism is always a problem. OverEducated and underEducated are two extremes

What’s the definition of over educated?

What’s the definition of over educated?

I’m glad you think because you did it, then it must be easy for everyone. Because obviously all situations are the same

Me and my husband alternate caring for our children between our jobs too. Yet I’m not here making assumptions and judging other parents because they are not able to do it.

somehow:
I'm not saying what is impossible.
I have children too
I'm male
I have an office at home too
I take care of the children when it's my turn to be home
Wifey does hers when she's off work (work from home)

Money to run the home isn't an issue.
even if I tell my wife to stay home for years, it still won't be an issue.

I am saying reality here, not some fairy tales.

There is nothing difficult with adjusting to jobs/work that won't expose your home to vultures out there and if you can't find one, keep off raising children until you can.

Ndi providers

somehow:
The problem with people like you is that you think raising children is the sole responsibility of the mothers, so when someone bring up the issue, you quickly make it a "mother vs fathers" talk.

No I don’t believe that. You must be new here because I’m one of the biggest advocates for gender fluid roles when it comes to marriage because the traditional ways seems not to be working. Obviously if you understood my posts, I have a problem with people who think raising kids and home keeping are for moms only. yet they somehow have a problem with moms who are not bread winners. Calling them lazy and dependent. If that’s not asinine I don’t know what is.

Even at your game, you still would fail because a woman can be a stay at home mother, yet make more than some 9 to 5 working fathers/mothers.

Wake up, it's 21st century, technology has made working easier, so no more excuse for non working stay at home mum or even dads.

Are you being realistic to the Nigerian situation or you’re just saying what sounds good to your ears?
Working from home is still a tasking job. If you expect someone working from home to still have time to babysit and homeschool while working, then you don’t know what it takes. You think they’ll just sit at home and watch their babies and get paid? They don’t have zoom meetings? Conferences, emails, etc to attend to?
Please be realistic. It’s not even as if those jobs are that many in reality

I’m not blaming folks for benefiting from either. I’m blaming them for participating and then acting like they don’t know they are participating in the problem they are condemning.
If women participate in rituals and internet fraud, then they deserve blame as well.

This is a false equivalency

Acidosis:
LMAO

On a serious note, you're missing the point. It is not about the act, i.e., sex or killing but the motivation behind these acts. If you think it is okay to blame men (the major beneficiary) for the high rate of prostitution then you should be able to blame women for the high rate of internet fraud.

Emperor88:
Runs girls are patronize by guys so they will get married to a guy who once patronize runs girls.

100

And they should both be fine with that

Kajaard:
Coco that will be tough O

I want BRAND NEW, I don't need TOKUNBO or NIGERIAN USED

Well good luck to you

At this rate some of you might have to come together and share one virgin wife

They are just fighting hard in other not to admit this. But it’s clear as day.

Ladycewhy:
The only bone of contention hers is that men now have to pay instead of hiding behind relationship.

I think this era is better,let's all be mad,make everything kuku scatter.

So you are just angry that more women are willing to offer services?what is it they say again? ,the more the merrier,lol.


A man once said ,if you can sleep with yoii boyfriend who doesn't know the road to your father's house why can you sleep to get a job. This is the mindset of the average Nigerian man ,same way they have created an environment for hookups to thrive . They are the enablers.

As for your worry that the number of girls willing to offer themselves has increased over the years, we can also say same for the guys. The moral decadence is on both sides. But I made that statement because the ultimate power to put a stop to it lies in the exchange "money". If men stop patronizing, then we will see a decline.Its simple economics.

Acidosis:
Do you think girlfriends and women in general are responsible for the high rate of internet fraud and rituals amongst men?

No they are not. Men don’t require female partners in order to become fraudsters

However men and women require each other to participate in sexual activity. So one side increases directly causes an increase in the other. Wonder how this is not simple to see.

Unless you think the men are sleeping with themselves. Nothing wrong with that either. They just need to be upfront and honest to themselves

Munamoqel:
men married woman and burn out all major expense .so they have choice.

Of course they have a choice. They are choosing from the same pool of women that they’ve been sampling from. There’s no extraterrestrial source of women