₦airaland Forum

weedmanlive:
OP also note that if you apply the red pill appropriately women would attract themselves to you.
They'll hate you and become more obsessed with hating you when you still don't give a Bleep about their hate.
The day you become nice to them, that perspective easily changes.
But proper application attracts women. Check how ladies rush into the post of the gidredpiller post. Check his birthday post and see how ladies were rushing to comment and mock them.
Trust me those ladies are obsessed with seeing the realest hero.

see mental gymnastics

Cousin9999:
I was looking for good venison recipes and I stumbled onto this scalloped (Irish) potato roll. It looks great. But I wouldn't do it with so much cheese, or mozzarella. And I think you can put just about anything in it, like minced goat, fish, or veggies and spice it however you like. Sort of like shepherds pie. I want to see the chefs in here remix this.

https://tasty.co/recipe/scalloped-potato-roll

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AEhBwiIEdj4

You first

That pro max sounds interesting.
Might be time to change my phone.

Noted

bukatyne:
1. Can you point to a post where I said I am doing better than all the women on this thread? Or where I said only my parents invested in me? I rejected the tag of marginalization and victimhood freeigboho wanted to dash me. I am free to speak about my reality as you are free to speak about yours. I am sure if I went from one thread to another complaining how a man did something to me, it would be ok. I am sorry, I honestly do not have any sob story to tell. Maybe I have a natural anti-bullshit repellant?

2. I believe my phrases are clear and to the point. I do not have women who whine constantly about men, society, patriarchy and all sorts around me. They understand that women would win some and lose some which also goes for men. Women are not saints neither are men demons. So the wise thing is to look at a situation on a case by case basis and judge. The women also know that men and women are not same and learn their leverage per time to enjoy themselves. They do not leave the gifts they have and start eyeing the supposed gifts men have.

3. And who told you that men don't suffer setbacks because of their gender? You want to have a gender conversation without understanding that both genders have pros and cons? Please.

4. And you know that men don't suffer setbacks due to their gender because? Please refer to point 3.

5. Nope. Because I have not seen the real issues in this 2021. People have thrown a challenge to list the marginalization women experience and I have not picked a concrete one.
a. Someone said there is no equal representation of women in positions of power: Have you seen anywhere were there is equal representation of gender in this world? There are more men or more women in a sphere of life for a reason: we are different; motivated by different things and want different things. The person did not request 50% of women as truck pushers or garbage collectors or truck drivers or NEPA officials or road construction workers. Or we do not care about 50% representation in these spheres? It is fine for men to dominate? Switzerland scores highest on the equality scale yet they had to introduce quota systems to bring up the women representation in politics to less than 40%. Does that not show the issue is not 'marginalization' but the fact that less women are interested in politics than men? Perhaps those interested in 50% representation should take it up with God.

b. You raised the issue of ancestral inheritance in Igbo land: Women do not inherit ancestral land, men do. Except things have changed, ancestral land is passed on to men for their families (wives & children). If a man is the head of the family and lineages are patrilinear, how would a woman inherit ancestral land if the land is to be maintained in that ancestry? Except a woman ensures that she marries a man from her locality/ancestry, she cannot pass the land to her children because her children would be from her husband's place. Yorubas who pass on lands to their children (male & female) do not have the concept of ancestral land and wives do not inherit in Yorubaland. Besides, are you saying there is nothing women benefit in Igbo culture that men don't?

c. You mentioned a cabal marginalizing you from contesting for president of your department: Like Primadonna said, you did not want it bad enough. If you did, a group of boys sagging their trousers and telling you that they would not add your name to the ballot wouldn't have deterred you. You could have contested for VP and set the president up to take his place, find bigger/higher cabals and aligned with them or reported them to the departmental dean/ the student liaison officer/ the responsible person. You could have also campaigned and if your name did not come out in the ballot, cause a fuse/cry/fight etc. till the election is scattered.

6. I wish I understood the question. I have not said any woman waited for handouts or whatever.


7. I had the same beliefs before I heard of feminism, while I identified with feminism and now I no longer identify with feminism. My posts are here on NL and more than 95% of my posts and threads have had same consistency. I have grown more and realized that feminism and Christianity are not compatible ( I had a thread on that) and Christianity is more important to me. A single verse of the Bible 'I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me' is sufficient. Anything I want to be, as long as it is in His will or good, I can achieve it. I have also read what people term 'inequality' between sexes and it is just people highlighting what is perceiving to be the advantage of a gender over the other in a certain situation or the consequences of their actions and choices. People are also pushing for equality in outcome i.e. A & B should do the same thing and have the same results which is impossible; it is against the principle of life. You can only have equality of opportunities which for most part has been achieved.

Women have left the power they have (their femininity aka influence and sympathy) to chase what they think men have. Those who are exposed in life understand that the person wearing the crown is necessarily not in control. There are godfathers and mothers controlling them and enjoying the privileges without the burden of power.

Okay

Godoverevery:
Read what you just typed again very slowly and you see what you just pointed out is gender discrimination not marginalisation.

If a woman face obstacles based on gender that discrimination not marginalisation coco.

Marginalisation is purely you saying woman are insignificant in this country.

mrblessed:
It doesn't make sense to argue or pretend that women don't suffer marginalisation,

we are getting somewhere

if you adhere strictly to the literary and figurative meanings of the word. If you admit that the world has patriarchal foundation and imprints, and turn around to deny that women are not marginalised, know it that you are a drooling hypocrite .

from your mouth to the universe?

The contention is not about what caused marginalisation, or the various forms it manifest itself, but whether it actually exists or not.

apt

The trouble with our Nigerian women is that they don't tend to sincerey fight against these marginalisations, but are easily poised to extract benefits from it and at the same time complain about male domination and control when they are not interesting in ending or reducing it.

Now this is where there is debate. Although it’s a gross generalization, I do agree with you that many Nigerian women haven’t even begun to grasp the magnitude of this discourse. I have no studies but I hope it’s not the majority of us . For many of us, it boils down to money and our realization that it will require aeons of enlightenment for the men to get on the same page with us on this issue. So when you mention equality, all the women hear is a system where the men get away with everything they usually get away with and the women still end up with half the bills and more of the work. So to them feminists want to create a system that will require them to financially care for a man.

But shocker is we will still end up with it anyway. Might as well operate from a system that’s actively recognizing biases when they pop up and where penalties exist for such biases.

Okay

JESHAL:
But in Scandinavian countries that is the most Egalitarianistic-Equalistic, women tend to run away from male dominated fields even more than traditionally conservative Societies like Arab nation's and the middle East, remember these nation's have taking steps legally, socially to remove any Patriachal strongholds holding women back yet we have gender equality paradox

You can't fight Nature, evolution genetics
Women are hardwired for some roles same as men in generalizations as exceptions exist based on Biology, social constructionist have tried to re-engineering these Societies yet they are experiencing the opposite of what they anticipated, Biology doesn't give a damn about metaphysical components ( religion/Patriachal beliefs or ideologies like Feminism/LGBTQ), about your feelings concerning reality, until women respect these immutable facts of millions of years of evolution they would never understand truth or logic

Sigh. Okay.

reddingtonblack:
cococandy, this man here as express my reserved comment for you.
You want to get land from ur father house nd still want to co-own land your hubby got as inheritance, to think you even said lets be rational
whether your hubby sells the land or build on it, you're a beneficiary, those your brothers that got inheritance, some women all in the name of wife stand to be a beneficiary tew .. the customs as left no one out. its all about being rational las las male/female child benefit on a single entry.

mariahAngel:
When we as women can start the foundation, then we can set our own rules.
The Catholic was built by men, and the rules were set by men.
No law stops a woman from starting the foundation of a church.

okay. Well at least you didn’t try to say the marginalization in that church is imaginary and made up by me. You agree it exists. That’s all we are speaking of.

So it’s a religion by men for men. And as one of the oldest of the modern religions, it’s had enormous influence on the society and the other churches that branched out from it. There was a time when the church was government. So is it reasonable to see how it influenced perceptions and consequently outcomes for women?

No?

mariahAngel:
Oh! The church too?
Is there a law preventing women from preaching the gospel or starting a church?
Why should women take up leadership roles, instead of being leaders? You become a leader by starting, not by waiting until it is given to you.

I’m a Catholic by birth. There’s no federal law saying I can’t be a priest but based on tradition and expectation, I’m not allowed to go seminary school to become a priest. I will encounter opposition if I try. I will be refused acceptance if I try. If by some miracle I succeed, I will be shunned by the population and no one will come to my masses because as a woman, my divine place is among the laity not the priesthood.
This is based purely on gender and not anything I’ve done or haven’t done. Because there’s no law barring me from priesthood it doesn’t mean I’m not barred anyway.

By talking about this, does it mean I’m expecting leadership to be handed to me rather than going ahead to take it for myself? Or am I pointing out that obvious obstacle that is placed in front of the woman for just being a woman?

I know this is not a uniquely Nigerian problem. However does it not count as marginalization?

bukatyne:
Biko, there are enough marginalized women on this thread to want to recruit me by force.

My parents especially my mother has invested too much in me for me to think I am marginalized.

And I have seen that around me.

DO NOT add ME to your marginalized women statistics.

Even women who believe men & women are not equal are breaking grounds daily doing whatever they like with their lives.

The irony is that you don't even realize you keep infantilizing women with your posts.

In this 21st Century free Nigeria that you can be whatever you desire, you are still saying there are systemic bla bla bla making women not to succeed.

In today's Nigeria?

If the women around you are like that, the women around me are not.

They set goals no matter how small or big and smash it.

It is also a fallacy to think that anything falls into any one's laps in this world. Of you want something, better be willing to work (negative or positive) for it.

Like Yorubas would say:
> Eni ti a jeun gboingboin a ti lekun gboingboin.

> Ikoko to a je ata, idi e gbona.

Or if it is the Biblical version you want:
The kingdom of God suffereth violence and the violent taketh it by force.

To achieve ANYTHING in this life, you have to pay the price and work for it. The difference is that what I do to achieve A might not be what you do to achieve same.

There is nowhere in the world that equal outcomes ever occurred; and it will never happen.

Can you point to one woman on this thread who you sincerely believe is doing less for themselves than you are?
Whose parents or mothers on this thread didn’t invest in them?

Are you assuming that because we speak on these issues, we are not taking initiatives on our own and achieving our set goals? Because I’d like to really understand what goes through your mind when you’re making posts like these. “Oh these women are whiners. They expect things handed to them. They have victim mentality. The women around me are high achievers. They are infantilized” (I can’t remember all of your usual phrases)

The broader issue is that despite whatever opportunities there are, and how many women succeed by taking those opportunities, the men do not have to suffer set backs specifically because of their gender. And the women do. And it shouldn’t be so.

No one is saying women should not take opportunities because they will encounter gender based set backs. No one said women won’t succeed if they try. And no one said men don’t experience set backs. The problem is the setbacks men encounter are not based on their gender.

See you often make broad discussions about yourself and how amazing you are. By reverting the conversation to how you take responsibility for your own life and choices all what not. (Not the first time. Not the 10th time ) maybe primadonna is newer to these discussions and my question to her caught her off guard but if she’s been following similar threads like this, she would understand where that question was coming from. You will unfailingly try to equate the broad topic to your own perceptions of individual success and try to dismiss the real issues that affect other women because in your opinion it doesn’t apply to you so it doesn’t matter.

So I’d like for you to be direct and tell us which woman on this thread is lazy and waiting for a handout

And you’ve called yourself a feminist before. If you didn’t believe there are issues with gender equality, why would you support a movement for gender equality? Was it a buzzword for you then? And now you’ve decided you no longer want to go with the “trend”? Or do you sincerely believe gender issues have all been amicably resolved since the first time you thought you were a feminist and therefore there’s no problem with inequality anymore?

Acidosis:
Men and Women

If anything patriarchy hurts men too even though they benefit in some ways from it.

But there’s no real benefit for women

pocohantas:
This one can call white black, just to prove mumu point. Next thing na to login to his UandN moniker. Dopemoo…

He will say you’re my relation coming to support me with your alternate moniker.
I’ve never heard this type of bold faced lying before

RightToReject:
I stated clearly there that yes, our women who choose not to marry for one good reason or another do get ancestral land in Igbo families where principle reigns supreme over expediency - the good thing is that such families are in the majority.

this is a bold faced lie but you do you dude.

While on the other hand, it's only a contentious and contemptuous married woman who gets a share of an ancestral land through her husband's family that will insist on also getting ancestral land from her father's ancestral land too - talk about greed pro-max.

If she’s entitled to it, then there’s no question of greed and if she’s shamed for wanting something that she’s entitled to, then there lies the problem.

One more thing. What if she’s unfortunately not married to someone who has marital land to bequeath to her. Is she still entitled to land in her ancestral home?

Hmm.

Okay.

So are women entitled to ancestral land or not?

RightToReject:
I always hate the idea of coming hard on you because of your good side. Well, if you want to go and invite all your family members here/use your different monikers to support your erroneous claims to feel fly, that is up to you. The fact remains that as a bona fide Igbo son, in my family and Igboland in general, we do give all types of land/property to both males and females - in regards to ancestral land, the females here are those who choose not to marry for one good reason or another. No sane family in Igboland takes a contentious and contemptuous woman seriously and that is why they're usually ostracized or mostly married off to quasi-men within and outside Igboland.

On the other hand, it's only a contentious and contemptuous married woman who gets a share of an ancestral land through her husband's family that will insist on also getting ancestral land from her father's ancestral land too - talk about greed pro-max.

The funny thing is that your type can't be caught being against injustice because you hate it but because you're not the one meting it out against others. In summary, say no to bigotry, contentiousness, and contemptuousness.

shaybebaby:
I was content with liking all your comments but the enemy within who dismissed your experience/ gaslighting, got me wading into the discussion.

You see the boys asking if women will even vote for themselves and these ones come on along to prove them right. I hope there’s a reward in it for them.

Of course many of them won’t vote for other women and yes it’s social conditioning.

And for those asking, is patriarchy entirely men’s fault? No. Because it can’t be sustained without the support of women.
So it’s a social issue for which men and women are at fault and the beneficiaries are men. Finished

Logic200:
Well the world is full of lies,
We only anticipate what we know,it's your conscious mind that can articulate the fact that can become true to you.understanding is shared knowledge my dear

Okay

You’re making too much sense

We can’t have that

shaybebaby:
But it isn't war is it?

The entire point is that there are additional barriers that are based on gender in order to access opportunities.

Let's leave conjecture aside and stick to the facts. She was told she couldn't throw her hat in the ring because they didn't want her gender.

That was the starting point. Meanwhile the other men didn't have to face that particular obstacle just to contest. No doubt there will be obstacles during the actual race. But in her case, to contest, she had to face one more, than the rest of her male competitors.

That extra one, is the marginalisation.

Logic200:
Well my dear, life is full of competition
Culture and rights are two different thing.
The igbo culture for example give out lands to the male child because of continuity of linage.
Assume there was war to take over land .who will protect you from the people who are built to be a predator.(must be a predator it's self)
All things being equal .culture is not same with right dear.

Righttoreject so it’s not only my greedy family that does it huh?

Some of you will lie through your noses just to think you’ve won an argument. Looking ridiculous while doing it

WoundedLamb:
If y'all spent half of this energy you use to police women in Nigeria to fight crimes, the country would be a better place.

Taliban.

But women in Nigeria have no issues according to folks

The Bible asked you to gouge out your eyes if it will lead you to sin

AxeofGod:
This one is even modest. Come to Uyo and see something. The thing is there is no need to beg women to dress moderately since their children will suffer the consequences.

When women dress provocatively in numbers it becomes increasingly difficult to raise upright men in society. The ones who do not rape will get involved in vices to have the means to gratify the sexual cravings they acquire by looking at these half-dressed women.

These women dress half-naked but expect their little sons to grow up respecting womanhood.

To the males mentioning me
You encourage women to dress provocatively but expect men to control the very sex urges ignited by these same women; that's hypocritical. The same Bible that cautioned men not to fornicate also cautioned women to dress modestly. You can't separate one from the other.

You call the man a pervert for voicing the truth and think yourself a saint. A pervert is someone who does something morally wrong. So if you have sex outside marriage or do not consider it wrong to have sex outside marriage then you are a pervert.

seunaj:
Woke lady spotted. Get the goddamn out of my quote!
They now see morality and loyalty as stupidity. Stack stupid people thinking wise of themselves.

Which part of morality and loyalty invites you to slap your wife?
I’m waiting for a response

Nothing to add.

I’ve stopped replying them

BRATISLAVA:
You've said it all.

All this anger and denial because of International Women's Day.

The person who created this thread needs to conduct an in depth interview of women and not work with their assumptions.

@your first paragraph, there was actually such a thread and an overwhelming majority of male posters were against women climbing the ladder, yet in the same breath claiming that females were pretending to be victimized. I can't go back for that link, but in that thread one can see that men deeply hate women doing anything that challenges their position. They claim women cannot hold power and that they would never vote a woman even if she's competent, yet they are here paying lip service.

The usual gaslighting. In real life they think women are too dumb, beneath and unsuitable to achieve anything, then claim the women in their circles are doing so much. These people are just running after their tails in denial. They go to university with females and yet still feel females don't deserve the opportunities that they do, and should work hard to prove themselves (as usual), because women are emotional and can't handle pressure and are better designed for house wifery, etc etc. Under this thread they have ignored that part and are hard at trivializing women issues by claiming they don't exist.

There is a glass ceiling for women, there are just things that men will never have to go through. And to say that because women are achieving things means that there's no such thing is just the usual twisting and turning of males who want to hold on to their misogynist, segregationist ways.

It is only in Nigeria that men will claim what is and isn't for women. As you say, there is gender inequality worldwide, but it is in the deeply patriarchal Nigerian society that Nigerians claim it doesn't exist. Lol. These people and imposter syndrome.

It's like they are pretending that with all their patriarchal ways they've been transported to the West and suddenly regard human rights.

This thread is the usual mansplaining.

RightToReject:
I wonder how many times I will tell you that the greedy norm of the males in your family isn't an Igbo culture and is not a standard for the bona fide Igbos. The idea of any self-acclaimed Igbo person without a worthy surname always trying hard to tarnish the image of worthy Igbos isn't acceptable. In fact, I won't be surprised to know that in that same family of yours, regardless of how greedy you've always made the world to believe that they're, it's only the contentious and contemptuous women - who've likely been ostracized - that they usually deny real place in the family household.

Okay

Okay cool.

About wanting to know, you definitely do not come across as genuinely curious. More like wanting to mock those who are talking about it because you feel like you don’t see what the big deal is.
But time will tell.
And if I’m wrong about you, I’ll apologize.

PrimadonnaO:
You were making it about me.

Rathr than addressing the issue, you were dapting the discourse to me. That's what I meant by personalising. I was refraining myself from stating you were committing an argumentum ad hominem.

Since you were quoting me, you should have stuck to the things I was talking about.

There were a lot of assumptions in your earlier response.

I made no mention of Ini, no mention of feminists... nothing that suggested I was shaming women who spoke about women marginalisation.

I really don't like having discussions about feminism and feminists, because it confuses me.

I'm still wondering how feminists, Ini Edo, Chimamanda and co got into this discourse.

You're asking me if Chimamanda has no personal responsibility for her own self. That's not for me to say.

Does Chimamanda speak about being personally marginalized?

Women who say they're marginalised should speak of their own personal experiences, then we can lump it all together and know what we're really dealing with.

Women who are speaking up for others, should likewise, state specifically the ways in which the women they canvass for have been marginalized.

Only then can we truly see and know if there's much substance to the matter.

Once again, I'm going on about this because I don't know and I want to know.

I'm a woman and I don't really seem to see how I've been marginalized.

Will I say I'm not marginalized if I'm truly marginalized?

I want to know the experiences other women have had.

Ask anyone reading this thread to question themselves what they would think if a woman rose up today to run for president.

Would they think “oh here’s a human being running for office. Let me see if they are qualified and I’ll vote or not vote”.

Or will they think “a woman is running for office. Women are emotional, illogical, irrational bla bla bla, so I’ll be voting for the man”
Thereby excluding a whole group of people based on social conditioning. But they’ll tell you because there’s no specific law that powers their actions, then those women are facing no barriers.

This shouldn’t even be a conversation.
Especially not in our dear Nigeria.
Places that rank higher on gender equality still recognize they have issues with inequality much less our country.

BRATISLAVA:
You would think only men are Keen on trivializing women matters. This is like some women trivializing labor pains, because they never went through it. Just as all men would claim it is women playing victim.
It doesn't invalidate the experiences of those who are also mother's but went through it. It doesn't mean they are lazy or incapable of childbirth, too.

Some women forget that it is men who created those experiences for other women, and that they have never come across it doesn't mean it doesn't exist. This is like saying fgm is untrue and victim playing.

Working with men sometimes means you don't get real opportunities even when you're clearly fit and more intelligent than they are. That certain women don't experience that is fine, but to say those who have met it a lot are not in control of their lives is pushing it far. Sometimes it's only if your parents can give you that post that you will have it, otherwise men out there wouldn't let it happen for sentimental gender reasons.

So marginalization due to gender does happen?
Regardless of whether I chose to press on and fight them or give up right?
It happened and does happen. And that’s the issue.

It shouldn’t be happening.

And y’all need to stop gaslighting people who speak about it as if they are not seeing what their eyes are seeing.

PrimadonnaO:
Okay, first of all, I'm not fixated on anything.

Interestingly, I really want to know what the issues around women marginalisation are today, because when I look around, I don't see them.

And yes, personal experiences lend credibility because it gives context to the matter.

So back to your experience.

It's a good thing you knew that the there was no law enshrined that prevented a female from vying for the office of president.

And yes, it is true that some things won't be easy. If you very much wanted the office, you could have pressed on.

In your case, the roadblock was that the "cabal" wanted only male for that position.

But their preference may have also varied across other lines. Another male would have had challenges if perhaps he wasn't loyal to the cabal...
If he wasn't from a tribe they preferred...
If he wasn't from a department they wanted...
If his ideologies didn't favour the cabal...

So many roadblocks people experience at different phases of life.
What matters most is that it is contestable and you could have pressed on regardless...

This would have been a stronger case if you had taken it to the authorities and they reechoed that the position wasn't open to ladies.

PrimadonnaO:
Do you first of all agree that the tradition you cited up there isn't the case with every family?

Does something have to happen in every single household before it becomes an issue? If it happens in statistically significant enough numbers, then it’s an issue.

And for women who were denied of inheritance, is that honestly a good reference point for justifying that women are marginalised?

I’m sorry how bad does it have to be to be considered a good example?

A woman cannot go on to acquire wealth for herself simply because she wasn't bequeathed wealth?
Aren't there more men and women who started their lives from scratch? Does a woman not having an inheritance from her family mean she also doesn't have access to a plethora of other opportunities?

The point is an issue that should be addressed, quite alright. But if we're being objective, it's not a solid reference to marginalisation.

She absolutely can. And I encourage all women to do so. However, why does she have start behind her brothers? Why does she have to experience that specific difficultly just for being a woman? Do you not see how you’re making my point? Something that’s that big of an issue, you want to make the women out to be irresponsible for speaking about it.

Where in the discourse of marginalization has any reasonable person asked a woman to not pursue her goals or seek better for herself simply because there are obstacles in her way? Absolutely no one does that. If anything we tell them to do it anyway despite any obstacles.

The question being why should those obstacles exist just because of gender and y’all have issues with us asking

Are there others please?

You want more examples so you can tell me it doesn’t matter because it only happens in another place not close to you?

PrimadonnaO:
How are women marginalised today?

Let me preface by saying that I already know that it doesn’t matter what response I give, you’re convinced I’m wrong so why bother?.

Also that anecdotal evidence isn’t really evidence because I can say a million things that happened to me that qualifies as marginalization but you could be like “well that didn’t happen to me so it must not be an issue” (just like you think it’s not an issue because it only happens in the north) and I’d have no choice but to be like “oh well”.

I have an example of marginalization for you. In my final year of school I wanted to run for president of my department but was told point blank that only the guys would be put on the ballot for president while the ladies would be on the ballot for Vice President. It was a small department.
Tight knit guys. Organizers in bed with each other.
So of course I didn’t run or even agree to be up for the vice presidency because I was already discouraged.

Now before you ask “why didn’t you stand up for yourself? Why didn’t you take it up with student council? Why didn’t you do this or that?”

My first question is why did gender matter in that election if female marginalization no longer exists like you want me to believe?
Why was being male a benefit to the guys who wanted to run and me being female a deterrent to me?

There may be a law in place to explicitly tell people not to discriminate against women But as far as a majority of people (including women) have biases against women, then marginalization is going to be a thing. It’s not something that will totally go away with legislation but rather with awareness.

Hence the whining and so called victim complex and display of personal irresponsibility including future phrases that will be coined for it.

I don’t think you are clear on what personalization means here.

But Who are referring to as having no responsibility for their own lives?
You were generalizing towards the women who talk about this. So I’m asking before you make judgmental and shaming post to reflect and consider who you might be thinking of as having no responsibility for themselves.
Most Nigerian feminists are popular. I mentioned Ini because she’s come up in conversation on this thread. So maybe I’m wrong and she’s not a feminist. At least we are sure Chimamanda is. Would you consider her as having no responsibility for her own self?

As a matter of fact I rephrased the question to address all the female posters here not just you. To state which feminist they believe are lazy or have no personal responsibility because they talk about marginalization.

Some of you instead of addressing the issue like you said we should, resort to shaming by calling others entitled, lazy or whiners. Don’t have a victim complex now that I’m pointing it out. I’m not making it about you specifically.

Remember we don’t like victim complexes around here.

I’ll answer the bolder question in another post

PrimadonnaO:
I don't believe I've had a personal conversation with you on this matter.

I'm trying to understand why you're personalising it.

Why are you asking me if I have more personal responsibility for my life than Ini Edo does?

Why have you framed the emboldened as though it were a thing I said? It doesn't buttress the point, because you can't know if that's the perspective I view this matter from.


You also can't say I don't have better initiative or more personal accountability than the outspoken women who chose to talk about the issue, because you don't know this.

And very importantly, the original discourse is in no way a comparison. The affirmations and comparisons you're making, where do they stem from?


You've chosen to personalise a very general discourse, and the message is lost on me.

Are we talking about me versus a certain group of people now?

I thought the discussion was simply about not generally understanding the crux of the matter when women say they're marginalised.

That's what I would love to know.

How are women marginalised today ?

PrimadonnaO:
They are part of Nigeria, but a specific issue seems to relate more to them, does it then reflect the reality of the entire country?

I disagree that female marginalization only occurs in the north. So I’m not entertaining the notion that it’s peculiar to them. And even if it were true, their population is enough to make it an issue for anyone to be concerned about

Kindly explain what having no real place among the men of my household means, and the implications.

So we assuming you’re igbo.
In igbo land, as a woman you are not entitled to inheritance that’s passed down from father to father. Their justification is that women are supposed to marry out of the household therefore do not have a permanent place in the compound.

What’s the implications?

1) Wealth disparity. Land ownership is wealth. From birth you’re already disenfranchised and wealth gap is already created between you and your brothers.

2) you either struggle to get yours or hope that you marry someone who has it. Which is another reason why marriage for women is such a big deal amongst them.

Does this qualify as an issue or not?
Are the women who talk about this irresponsible for their own lives. Just enjoying whining for the sake of it?

PrimadonnaO:
Lack of personal responsibility for one's own life.

Simple and short.

Do you believe you have more personal responsibility for your own life than Ini Edo (for example).

What I see some ladies do on here when it comes this topic is due to limited understanding of the scope of this discussion.

“Oh there’s so called marginalization but how was I able to get educated and get a great job and support myself?” Nobody stopped me. So it must mean that those women who speak about this issue are lazy and irresponsible for their own lives. They want things handed to them but I’m different because I’m responsible for my own life.”

That’s how it comes across.
Hun you do not have better initiative or more personal accountability than the outspoken women who chose to talk about the issue. Some of them have achievements that we all know of at national and international levels. So at the very least, we know they are not lazy and waiting for someone to hand them things. Case in point chimamanda for example.

So who exactly is it that’s passionate about this topic that you would consider lazy and irresponsible for their own lives?

In fact I’m presenting this question to ladies who consider others as having victim mentality or as being whiners when this topic comes up.
Which popular feminist do you consider yourself more hardworking than?

It’s giving joining the men in their age old tactic of trying to use shaming to shut down discussions.