₦airaland Forum

shaybebaby:
Exactly.
To be fair, there are many with sense..I've seen some of this thread.
But these dumbasses? Their ideas are more virulent than the covid delta variant. Probably just as destructive.

Where have you been

Karlman:
Going Empty handed is worst....and not even a madman will accompany you on such a shameful outing...lol

Na you sabi.
I don’t agree with that sentiment.

You can show yourself or take something moderate with you. Even a bottle of wine and a fowl is something. Between you and your wife, you can come up with that . Also your attitude about it will go a long way. Just showing you stand by them in their mourning period means a lot.

My first post is to address the extortion in regards to asking for multiple goats (which is a common thing in our culture). But that doesn’t mean you should skip something as important as your wife’s father's funeral. Do you think she will be happy with you?

Karlman:
It's against culture. First I cannot attend alone I must go with my people just as you don't go and marry alone.
2. I cannot attend empty handed.. I am an inlaw there and not just a relative.

Well which one do you think is worse, not going at all or going empty handed?

Karlman:
So what exactly am I supposed to do now so as to make sure I fulfill my cultural obligation without having to jeopardize my life and peace7
Solution is what I want to hear that is why I brought up this my issue here.

please attend the funeral o.
Not attending because you have no money is worse than not contributing financially.

Wahala

Acidosis:
Gettat

that’s how our bloggers report news. No one has their own name anymore.
Wizkid’s ex
Davido’s first baby mama

Your wife is a celebrity now.
Your name has changed to Tega’s husband

Even if you guys get divorced, you will be Tega’s ex husband

Opari

African hair is not mad man hair.
African hair when left to its own devices will naturally mat into locs.
Divest yourself of the shame that’s been imbibed into you about your genetics.

derecho:
Very funny... I expected you to also ask what is ideal or proper.
It's convenient to sound pan-african or defend a madman hairdo as African but anyone who knows the truth can see the falsity.
I lifted the meaning verbatim so that you'll understand the meaning of "morality".

It appears you have sensitive skin and are reacting to the shaving that you’re doing. Looks like ingrown hair at the follicles

1) stop shaving. You’re an adult. Adults are expected to have pubic hair. Trim if you need to. But don’t close shave anymore.
2) don’t use scented products on your pubic area. Can cause flora imbalance

derecho:
morality

noun
principles concerning the distinction between right and wrong or good and bad behaviour.

synonyms: ethics, rights and wrongs, correctness, ethicality, virtue, goodness, good behaviour, righteousness, rectitude, uprightness, morals, principles, honesty, integrity, propriety, honour, justice, fair play, justness, decency, probity, chasteness, chastity, purity, blamelessness, moral standards, moral code, principles of right and wrong, rules of conduct, ethos, mores, standards, ideals

I just lifted the above from Google.
The bolded parts can help you see the "morality" in hairdos.

If you were to talk about spirituality, it's a different ball game.

A decent person doesn't go about as an urchin.

Nothing you copied and pasted here shows how hair can be good or bad.

“Decency” according to whose standards? The white man who thinks Afro hair is unkempt and needs to be cut off or straightened to resemble European standards in order to be considered proper and appropriate?
Smh
#inthesunkenplace

Karlman:
Not a family specific at all..this is the cultural practice if you really want to attend an in-laws father or mother burial.

Yea it’s not family specific. And I realize some areas may be a bit different from the others even if their culture is similar.

I’m familiar with situations where the requirements are being set by people you’ve never heard of in your life. There should be moderation.

Hopefully we won’t be growing into elders who extort grieving families

RightToReject:
It's not about unnecessary aggression or anything of such, OK. I don't like the idea of anyone distorting facts wittingly or unwittingly. You and I know that in the same Igboland, the poor have always buried their relatives based on the size of their pocket, culture or no culture.

Well the same poor people still sometimes have to borrow and go into debt to make the funeral happen. Why should it be so? Even if they eventually completed the funeral ceremony, they still experienced some form of extortion and had to haggle price or negotiate their way out of performing some “requirements”. At a solemn moment in their lives.

I call it extortion because sometimes the community mentally measures the pocket of the deceased’s children and they are tasked according to what the people perceive they should be able to afford even if it’s accurate or not. That means it’s not even a real requirement. It’s just an opportunity for them to mooch off the dead person’s children especially if they think they have money.

Poor or rich, should a grieving family even be dealing with that in the first place? I don’t understand why you would classify something that happens in the majority of cases as me distorting the truth. That’s very insincere of you.

Or maybe you can say it’s different where you come from and I’ll be like “alright”. But where I am from it’s how they do and it doesn’t sit well with me. That’s all I’m saying.

It’s not a competition of whose culture is better because I can already tell that a few of my brothers and sisters are going to be in here getting hurt over the truth. It is what it is. Other tribes have some weird things they do too that makes me .
You should be able to say something is not cool even if it’s your folks that are doing it.

It's the same thing when some myopic people from or outside the Igboland, or bigoted hateful people from outside the Igbo land, strive hard to tell whosoever cares to listen that anyone who wants to marry an Igbo woman must pay and spend millions, whereas evidence abounds everywhere that people from within and outside marry Igbo women based on the size of their pockets or how they present themselves culture or no culture.

while this may or may not be true, I’m not prepared to delve into that traditional marriage issue now.

Culture has never been about how the dead people did their things; rather, it has always been about how the living people choose to do their things.

Oh cool. So that means we the living can say the truth about what we see and maybe change things for our children.
I have nothing against extravagant ceremonies. As long as it’s not being done to fulfill an obligation rather it’s being done by the family on their own volition. If I can afford to, I would do Obi Cubana style funeral for my parents without any pressure from anyone but I would really detest for some old man I’ve never met in my life telling me I owe him 5 cows as a requirement before they will let me bury my loved ones.

sammirano:
Whether you like it or not, there something called moral standards. I guess some dont even know that

Explain the morality in hair .

We have a lot of anti-blackness that we absorbed during the colonization era that we still uphold today and tell ourselves it’s about morality.

Dreads have African origins but we have been convinced by wypipo that anything rooted in blackness is inherently bad. So we champion their hatred of us with our own hands and think we are doing something respectable. It’s sad to see.

Pathetic even

Thankfully I haven’t lost a close family member yet so it makes sense that I’m not talking about my own specific family here, right?

You’d think maybe it’s more of an observation of how things are generally done in the culture where I am from.
Also my post is not a personal attack on you. Dial back on the unnecessary aggression .

RightToReject:
Your family norm doesn't automatically equate to an Igbo Culture.
.

I’m suspecting these folks are igbo. I still don’t know why we go overboard on funerals when the family is grieving and should be extended a hand of help and sympathy. Rather, the community wants to use that opportunity to extort them. This part of our culture has never been acceptable to my spirit.

If one in-law is expected to bring goats (multiple) how many are the others then expected to bring and how much in total are they expecting from this one family? To whose benefit? Did any of them even give a hoot about the man while he was alive? Now he’s dead they want to be dined and wined by his hurting and grieving children.

Extravagant funerals should be done only if that’s what the nuclear family wants for their father and whomever amongst them that wants it badly should be the one to pay for it. You shouldn’t be mourning your dead family member and also stressing about not having money to entertain community people.

Lip kissing isn’t very sanitary IMO. I know yes she’s the mom and yes she breastfed but oral flora does change with time and the kid doesn’t need that big of a bacterial load for whatever reason.
There’s no reason to do it.
Just kiss them on the face IF YOU ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO.

DrayZee:
Nigerian men? The ones always calling women hoes/ashawo, think they’re the only ones who are polygamous?
Are you sure about that?

Somehow they think that. It’s such a weird cognitive disconnect. I don’t know how they manage to confuse themselves that way.

wizseller:
What about getting a single girl as side chic

Smh

bab22:
So of all the single ladies in your arena its someone's wife you're in love with. kwontinue

he’s married. He should have no business with other women. Single or married . Y’all refuse to get it

Next week you will start disturbing us with DNA nonsense

It’s cognitive dissonance to promote promiscuity but be outraged at the direct result of it. nothing more.

ahnie:
Hello Mrs L,pls what are those green tree like things?
This food looks heavenly .

it’s just a crunchy vegetable. Not very tasty by itself. You have to season it to taste how you want it to. That’s the good part about it. You can make it taste how you like

I don’t even know where to begin to type.
These kinds of horrors are totally preventable. We are not the only country that use petroleum. Yet how many times have tankers exploded in our neighboring countries?

Instead of investing in safety and better means of transportation for these very volatile gases, we opt for the easy way out . Without any organization responsible for safety checks and holding companies respond for the safety of the citizens.

I’m distraught but as usual, will carry on and file it away somewhere as if it didn’t happen. This can be any of us or our relations.

I want rampant DNA testing to become a norm in Nigeria.
The pleasure in watching some of these guys get disillusioned about their exclusive polygamous nature would be sooooo worth it .

Akposy:
Colourful. I've tried broccoli thrice but I didn't really feel the taste. I ate just for the health benefits

it does take some getting used to. I never liked broccoli for the longest time and suddenly it became a favorite

Buttered rice and chicken.
It was surprisingly good

Nothing to add

TWLifestyle:
it's funny how the first thing most man do when they meet women is try to stick their preek in you ! And here you are saying the only thing women bring to the table is sex ?im curious was that the only thing your mother brought to the table ,? Cos my mom was a co- breadwinner and all the women I know - got an education , work and can fend for themselves . So many women trade , learn skills and work and earn with those skills .
Most Nigerian homes are two- income homes and some are even solely funded by the woman ( who in many cases is forced to pretend the husband is the breadwinner so as not to hurt his fragile ego )
. This ridiculous narrative that you men peddle about being sole breadwinners becos you have the loudest voices is extremely dishonest .
If your experience had been that women only bro g sex to the table or means you need to broaen your circles- maybe its the women you know who are like that .

Techguy96:
Omo there's really no hope for Nigeria o, someone was killed and this is what u can say, no rip no sympathy.
Because it's a 16 yrs old girl. U guys really deserve the bad things happening to u.

the moment I read the title of the thread, I knew monsters like him would be on the front page showing their lack of humanity

Decentdave:
The wey all this small small girls eye dey tear is alarming.u will see a 16yr girl doing hook up.parenting a female child this days is difficult ,parent should keep monitoring their female children closely especially their phones and contacts or u dnt give them a phone till a certain age.as for uncle killing her is bad

Some of you are so disgusting there are no words to describe it.

It’s the audacity for me