₦airaland Forum

MagpieMonishaa:
Mary Eliza Mahoney (1845-1926)

On March 3, 1878, Mary Mahoney was accepted into New England Hospital’s graduate nursing program. During her training, Mahoney participated in mandatory 16-hour-per-day ward duty, where she oversaw the well-being of six patients at a time. Days not requiring ward duty involved attending day-long lectures while simultaneously devoting time to her studies . Completing the rigorous 16-month program on August 1, 1879, Mahoney was among the three graduates out of the 40 students who began the program and the only African American awarded a diploma. Upon her graduation Mary Mahoney became the first African American graduate nurse.

In a 40-year career, Mahoney directed the Howard Orphan Asylum in Long Island, New York, and was a founding member of the group that became the American Nurses Association.
After retirement, Mahoney continued to fight for minority rights and in 1920 became one of the first women to register to vote in Boston.




Cc: For Merahki and Cococandy (my ladies from the medical field, our heroes in the time of Covid-19)

Thank you

@bold, much hasn’t changed. Instead we usually have 12 hour days. Rarely do we have have 16 hour days. But continuous side education and holding a family together (for some of us) is still part of it . Respect to Mary Mahoney. Respect to merahki. Respect to me . Respect to all of us

Arthur2021:
go through my post again I didn't say belittle for being married but for being traditional..

mmm okay.

What is misogyny?if you are mistaken hatred,contempt or prejudice( for example beating,cheating,marital rape against women

yes that’s misogyny and any man or woman who accepts/minimizes such is a misogynist. I’m not mistaking it for a woman choosing a traditional role. As long as it’s HER CHOICE, I’m down baby. It’s feminist to support other women’s choices. It’s not feminist to look the other way when things such as the above in bold are told to women as stuff they shouldn’t make a big deal of when a man does it.

for a lady willfully deciding to submit to her husband or taking traditional roles (like being a housewife) which she loves then we can't agree.

Some ladies are angry with just the notion that a lady sees her man as the head,even if she willfully chooses to do so and the couple are living harmoniously . it doesn't have to be when he is beating her black and blue before they belittle her

that’s unusual. Most women don’t care if you call your husband lord. It’s when you tell them that they should do same then it becomes an issue. See the difference?

Check out eye.ness post on pickmesha,or various derogatory terms used to describe women that are being traditional.

I don’t know that person. However if she’s using that term to describe ladies who are making their own choices without foisting their views as things other women SHOULD do, then she’s wrong. No different from the ones she’s describing

I agree there are not those who call others out for marrying that I know But they are ladies that have belittled and accused other ladies for their choices or opinions that aren't even misogynistic on this forum(you are more popular on food section and family son you may not notice it as it is prominent in romance section) . one popular feminist said women that aren't feminists are lesbians. I don't want to derail this thread by calling names.

yes!!! at the rest mmm. If you say so.

what was I supposed to think when the post of yours was knitted closely to mine?
Why does hating feminists that belittle other women for their choice(especially radical feminists that want to eschew masculinity and femininity) have to do with hating feminism or having prejudice against women?

Okay let’s chuck this bit down to miscommunication.

There ought to be.
It would be very interesting. And in a real worldwide scenario? Na real who dash me. Common stop playing

However.....Thanks for the compliment

LordKO:
We can't afford to go to the tournament without one of our best - participation will be free for all of our best cooks, our magnanimity as a country remains unwavering. So, the "who dash me representation" will not hold water. LOL.

Yes, there ought to be a real world cooking tournament next year, but for the COVID-19 wahala.

Have a nice day.

MagpieMonishaa:
Women are not ridiculed for getting married. If that ever happens anywhere it is an extreme exception not the norm but it is the norm and everyday reality for women (and men) to be ridiculed and verbally abused for being single past a certain age.

Exactly.
Like this guy is doing

gowonmaharajah:

most of the ladies in support of the op are probably evening newspapers with no hope of getting a man, or lesbians.

hahaha

MagpieMonishaa:
I am yet to see it too.

Because it doesn’t happen. I mean I’m not everywhere on Nairaland so maybe in some obscure section where I don’t frequent, it happens. So I can’t swear it basically.

But some posters are trying to categorize anti-misogyny posts as anti-marriage posts. Two separate things. Unless there’s an underlying message that misogyny is needed for a marriage to be a good and successful one.

There’s a real cooking tournament?

Oooh.
I’ll probably watch. Who dash me representation

LordKO:
Maybe I will become better as I continue to imitate you - only if my empty head will not disappoint me later. Meanwhile, it looks like you will the person who will represent Nigeria - don't tell me that you'll choose the U.S. over Nigeria in this instance - at the world cooking tournament next year.

Arthur2021:
I agree with you on this ,how about my other points?

The actions of some radical feminists are made bare for all and sundry to witness. If someone calls feminists out for it why accuse them of mischaracterization and accuse them of prejudice towards women??

Except what you’re saying is not entirely true. Some of it is and to respond to you factually without using blanket phrases such as “made bare for all to see” which really means nothing, I’d have to go sifting through posts for you.

You erroneously debunked my stance of some feminists and woke women belittling traditional women or women that choose to marry(even on this forum many ladies call others pick mesha or seeking male validation when they express their opinion).

women on this forum belittle others for being married? Are you confusing this for posts that push against women who encourage misogyny and practices that benefit men to the detriment of women?
If you find one post that says women who choose to get married are this or that (insert something negative) I’ll be the first to the tell the poster to desist.
However it is not the same as when a post that encourages misogyny is pushed against. (No reference to anyone in particular.)

You went as far as accusing me of prejudice against women in your post to another moniker for pointing out not just some flaws of feminists but also those of traditional women that bully woke women for their choice(I didn't just blame feminists and woke women ,I also blamed traditional women that enforce marriage on all ladies).you singled out the portion were I talked about woke/feminists (I didn't even attack the movement but the radical feminists that go so far with it) but ignored when I called out traditional women for oppressing woke women and called it misinformation and opposition to the movement.
Let's be fair here.

You may be taking on the burden of a post addressed to the general clan of those who hate on feminists. Don’t bear it alone.

And you never did state what makes this thread anti-marriage. You know why, It’s because it isn’t

merahki:
I am literally falling in love with many Nairalanders these days, for their posts
From so many angles, many, many women, some men, all beautiful, empathetic and intelligent souls. I feel blessed anytime I come across really posts reflecting these qualities. When you see love in posts, you just know. It is accepting and kind and non-judging.
I am becoming Agapelistically or filialistically polyamoral


(That probably makes no sense but it does, to me )

Kinda makes sense to me

emmaodet:
But women too broke shame men. We all are feeling the pressures

Yet what’s the correlation between being single and criminals?

As for the shaming, Women are gold diggers, bring nothing but sex to the table, stay home moms are lazy leeches who are dependent on the man for survival, etc. is that not broke shaming of women?

emmaodet:
But what i said is true.
You can't control how the society sees you - be it a prostitute, yahoo, cocaine dealer, armed robber etc
Take your actions and deal with whatever happens.
If you don't like the stigma that come with your choice then don't do it unless the pros outweighs the cons in your opinion.

The fact that you’re drawing a parallel between crimes and the choice to stay single tells all the reason why a thread like this is necessary.

You folks say you don’t shame single women. But that’s all you do.

I don’t want to address the raging parts of your post. I believe we are aiming to keeping a level head on this topic. Devoid of rants.
So let me address the core of your total posts which is that this thread is anti-marriage.

What in your opinion makes it anti-marriage.
Where has it said women shouldn’t get married.

Fine here’s where I’m coming from, women often get ridiculed for not being married (However they came to be unmarried). They are made to feel like whatever else they have going on for them matters little unless they have a man and a ring to show for it. Which is why a thread like this is important to encourage women to have value in themselves whether married or not. Showing lady icons who went on to achieve good things they can be proud of means a woman can be valued member of the society whether she’s married or not.

That is not the same as saying that women should avoid marriage. Why are you redefining the topic?

Mind you if any other contributor on this thread says all women should avoid marriage, I disagree with them on that (Just in case you are curious about my stance).

Now why do you think the thread is about telling women not to marry. Because it shows women who did well without being married?

Arthur2021:
if you don't know anything about me or what I stand for or what I oppose STFU!
I didn't sayvanything about feminism is my post but feminists(if you don't know there are lots that have thwarted the original meaning of feminism).
Except we don't reside in the same USA,virgins, housewives are being mocked.

In my very eyes they have told a lady that was engaged to see marriage as an invitation to slavery ..
Albeit they don't say it authoratively,they say it in an advice-manner or convincing manner.

The same manner some dolts wanted to crucify bukatyne for.

I wonder how you ladies cope with hypocrisy, crucifying buka for her pro-marriage stance and praising the op for her subtly anti-marriage stance. The former is tagged infringing on women choices but when women open threads and tell their other ladies not to date poor men nobody calls it infringing on their choices.


PS:think whatever you want to think of anti-feminists. It is not today I realise that if you don't dance to delusions of some feminists then you are a misogynt to their eyes. An if you don't indulge in feminism as a woman you are tagged a pick mesh a...

There is always a name for someone who doesn't agree with the movement.

Grammar again

LordKO:
Decorum and egoism/self-interest will always be alien to each other - that you posited is a perfect depiction of the mentality of an egoist - no wonder subjugation reigns supreme wherever an egoist holds sway. Altruism is truly not a woman's forte.

bukatyne:
And weaken the society because:
1. It would promote promiscuity;
2. Lead to immoral children.

If they want to stay off marriage, then be like Paul or Queen Elizabeth.

This also applies to men.

We see the effect already.

Morality = the concept of right and wrong. Doing bad versus doing good.
There’s nothing inherently right or wrong about having sex. It just is. A human biological phenomenon.

I’d say it’s immoral to use money meant for helping underprivileged children to buy oneself a luxury apartment because one has the power to do so without repercussion but it’s not the same as having sex with someone you’re not married to. That might be a sin based on your religious beliefs but not immoral in a true sense of what’s good and what’s bad.

May not be socially acceptable based on your society. Also doesn’t mean it a good or bad thing.

Like someone already said. Marriage may produce morally upstanding citizens or it may not.

mrblessed:
I merely refuted a simplistic glorification of single ladies of other cultures as a perfect example of what African women should be,

glorification? Avoid changing definitions. Stay with the facts. No one said african women ‘should’ be like single women of other cultures.

when we know that our women are naturally disposed to getting married and building a home.

are they all (all of them) really that way or do you guys (men and women) shame them into it to avoid the name calling and harassment? Be sincere with yourself. You don’t have to respond to that. Just introspection.

There should be no shame in desiring marriage as a lady, of course, with the right guy as you correctly noted..

I agree.

Monishaa:
Thank you.

Misinformation and changing of definitions is a standard tool of those who oppose feminism. Otherwise what would they really have to oppose? The idea that women and men should be treated with equal considerations? Nah. That would sound bad even to their own ears except for those of them who are actually honest about their prejudices against women.

The only way they can find something to oppose is to change definitions and lie about what they think you’re saying.

Congratulations OP.

thank you to the doctor/s who finally made the correct diagnosis.
So many people suffer needlessly because they rather believe an unseen being is responsible for whatever is going on.

Even if the average lady were to open up about being intentionally single, many of you still won’t believe them. In fact you will make extra effort twisting yourselves into unheard of shapes in order to try and prove to them that you know their lives better than they know it themselves.

Someone will say they are masking their sadness. And those of you who shame single women will like them for saying such.

As long as you have convinced yourself that a woman is nothing without a man, no amount of logic will change you. Logic and ego don’t mix.

Except that the so called woke/feminist women have never said women should not marry.

Stay on the facts.

Arthur2021:
"A woman should marry " "A woman should not marry" are both constructs that cages people's choices
The traditional people are guilty of using the first statement. The non traditional (woke and feminists) are used to using the second statement.
Sadly the woke ones don't classify the second statement as oppressive as the first.

When one fights against people living out their "traditional beliefs",it is called enlightenment.
When one fights against people living their " modern beliefs " it is called oppression.
We should live and let live.

There’s no way this is true

Thank you

pocohantas:
Say no more...

You’re on a roll .

Nice one

GboyegaD:
Midday snack and most likely lunch:
In between puff puff and buns. It is sweet.

pocohantas:
I want to make oha, people waiting in mind much. See small oha they sold for me N200, a cup of palm fruit, N300. Them come tie the achi small small, like say na cocaine.


Walahi, I will soon go back to my village.

I want to eat fresh oha so badly

Craving something like this or native jollof

Mariangeles:
Local rice with palm oil eja kika stew

This your story is waking up some cravings in me.

Dry fish rice

BlueRayDick:
You have done well

I used to be like u seeing cooking as a chore. In the university I had 3 roommates who enjoy cooking a lot that they do fight for the chance to cook. So all tru university I only cooked like twice. They always cook and I always eat.

It was when I was posted to the north for NYSC things change. My PPA was a government school quite far from the town and u can't buy any cooked food in that village. We live in the school compound and we only go to town mostly when allawee is paid or on special ocassions.

Being always lazy about cooking, I took enough garri from home and with kulikuli quite cheap there, I bought enough to last for 2 weeks . I won't even lie, I took garri to the extent I was sick within a week and half. More like the garri just dug out some malady or something.I couldn't step out of my room for a full day.

The second day while on my sick bed, a female corper that also hailed from Lagos cooked better rice and fried stew topped with beef and brought it to my sick bed. Somebody helped me get malaria drugs and I devoured the food hungrily. That same evening she brought me yam and egg that tasted really nice and I used my drugs.

I kid you not, the next day I was back on my feet full of life. Right there and then I knew my problem was related to not eating good food. That was how I enter town buy all the buyables including that Hausa smoked catfish, prepared better stew and chop better rice and beans with it.

Funny thing is that I don’t even agree with all those accounts on every issue. Some I agree with or disagree with as the case or situation may be. If the accuser wasn’t just merely intent on convincing OP that I’m her enemy, he would have taken more time to go through the account before knowingly stating falsely that they are me.
Discernment is key.

Liliantalks:
that’s how they do , as soon as a set of individuals agree on something, they assume it’s one person.

You’ll get there

Ishilove:
Heh. 'Passion' is stretching it a bit. I doubt I can ever be passionate about cooking ever since I got one of my breasts scalded in the kitchen. Cococandy knows the story

Ishilove:
My sister, I am feeling proud of myself. You inspired me to cook o, jokes aside. It's kinda fun experimenting and it's even better when it turns out well

Aww. Look at me. Inspiring ishi. Me sef I’m proud of myself

Congratulations are in order

Ishilove:
Bluera.ydick,

I tried your macaroni stir fry recipe this morning-

Alas, I couldn't find carrots in my hood (the only one I saw looked like it has Corona virus), so I just decided to cook the thing like that.

I overslept and couldn't get up on time, so I did everything chop chop. When I got to the kitchen I discovered I'm out of spices and the only ingredients available were Maggi and salt. Wetin manpikin go do? Manpikin sliced one very big ass bulb of tomato, several pieces of pepper and a boat load of onions (I love onions).

I couldn't resist adding two kitchen spoons of blended pepper and tomato

So I heated the oil, added the blended pepper, allowed to fry for one minute, then added the sliced tomatoes, pepper and onions.

Fried it for two minutes and added grinded crayfish (in place of prawns. We don't have prawns in my hood). However, since I was running really late for work, I didn't have the luxury of time to be doing catering practical, I added dried fish after 5 minutes. Last last I fried everything and added salt and Maggi under 15 minutes. Afterwards I dumped the boiled macaroni inside the sauce. Thank goodness you warned me about adding water to the sauce because it would have been too soggy.

Now to the stirring-

I don't have a spatula close by (I have a set somewhere in my closet which I haven't brought out in years) so I settled with 'turn eba' stick. After turning twice, I got irritated and flung it aside and settled for my trusty, big ass kitchen spoon.

Thankfully it didn't burn because I reduced the heat and just kinda let the mixture cook slowly. I prefer the spoon because it captured ingredients that has settled at the bottom of the pot, unlike the turn eba that didn't quite mix everything well.

Apart from the tomato that tasted a little raw, it didn't turn out as badly as I feared. Truth be told, this is the first time I am enjoying macaroni.

The first pic is the finished product in the kitchen. No light so I used a torch to cook.

The second is me about to dig in at work!

Acidosis:
I don't expect everyone to agree with me and to say the fact, we have more than one type of family structure, heck, a friend can even be a family. It all depends on personal opinions.

now we agree

Since I decided to break my silence I guess I might as well go ahead and state for the record that I am not

Fuzzywuzzy
Biglittlelois
Fountainofyouth
Helterkeit ? (hope I spelled that right)
Graxie
Ornicus
Brazenbabe
Davangel
Scarletmoon
Breaststroke
Etc.
I mean it’s almost ridiculous at this point to go on and list the accounts I’ve been accused of hiding behind to attack the OP. One person is behind most of the accusations anyway so that kind of makes it clear to a discerning eye that this person has an agenda. It’s up to OP to believe what she wants to believe. But for the rest of readers, I am not any of these accounts so don’t take their posts past, present or future as cococandy’s post.

I’m not new to this forum and I didn’t start agreeing and disagreeing with OP yesterday. I have always been able to state my opinion with my account (if I deem my response necessary at that time).

To the accusers, Please cease and desist. Thank you.

Well that’s a more traditional belief. It is accurate but at the same time, I think it’s subject to personal opinions. For some people they have more family in folks they have accepted in their hearts as their families than the actual family they have been born into.
That’s not to say that I consider both to be the same or equal. But it’s my belief and I won’t see another family is lesser because they aren’t of the same ancestry like mine.

Adopted family members are family too.

It’s the same way a man and woman (or other genders) who aren’t related can come together and decide to create a family via marriage while having no common ancestry (In fact we hope they don’t have a common ancestor), it’s the same way other people can come together and decide they want to be a family by whatever method they hold dear (may not be marriage). And we must respect that their family means to them what ours means to us.

Acidosis:
A family is a set of people who share common ancestors. You can't have a family if all you do is hook-up with strangers to have a child with the hope of becoming a grandmother. You don't have a family if you can't draw a common linkage with your ancestors.