₦airaland Forum

There’s evidence of assault on it alright

pDudd:
Be speaking English grammar there.

My analysis was spot on. This video is also backing evidence.

VickyRotex:
Cococandy

Leave him, he's not feeling well.

I’m not holding him

Yes he was shoving her in the beginning

Yankee101:
1. He has another child with oyinbo. And the pickin supports his father. Be nice but kick out any stepchild helping to orchestrate your downfall

2. He gave her STD?

3. He's setting her up by instigating her with words (gaslighting) and shoves so she'll hit him and he'll have evidence incase of court actions (assault, divorce, custody battles)

4. I don't support her combative attitude, but she sounds like a woman who has taken too much bvllsh*t

Your analysis was generalizing and unfair to their specific situation

pDudd:


Typical Nigerian relationships in Amelika.

Shebi you were all abusing me on that my former thread about Nigerian relationships in the US. This is video evidence right here. God has vindicated me

All for the love of money. Like I said on my former thread, the breakdown of every Nigerian marriage in US is mainly because of money or the lack thereof.


See how she's trying to provoke him to hit her so that she can call police on him. These women are evil.
The boy holding the belt is the man's child from a previous relationship the man had with a white woman that enabled him to get resident status in the US. See how the woman attacked the boy because he is not her child. The other little kids are from their present relationship.

Nobody should abuse me o, I'm not well today.

Lefulefu come and see them o

In the beginning the man did smack at her. Whether he made contact or not I didn’t really see because the phone he was holding shifted as he did that. During the video they did smack and shove at each other.

He said he was going to beat her. And she said “beat me”. They both said it repeatedly.

She said “what did I ever do to you? This one is the question that she keeps repeating over and over so there must be underlying issues about that.
She said I had a c-section, you never cared. How much is $300? Won’t you buy things for your other kids?”

She said all that but not necessarily in the order that I remembered and typed them.

The man said, “I’m making this video for the court. I’ll show this to all the world especially Nigerian forums”
So he’s the one making and circulating the video .

Multiple calling of names on both sides.

She held the boy to take something he was holding. (The man’s belt I think) and the man said “if that boy chukwuma gets hurt, I’ll beat your spirit out of you.” He made plenty threats of beating and she dared him to.

salford1:
Even if I stop visiting this thread, I would have to close other socia media accounts I have. I never realised I loved food till I found out that alot of the pages I am following on instagram are food related Pages

me too

Hathor5:
The couscous was so good yesterday, I made some again today. This time with oven baked salmon and salad on the side.

Girl I could eat whatever you make all day everyday.

travelland:
I hope you don't return here to beg again, use that money to start something useful. If you have no idea what to do go and post the question in business forum, shallom

you don’t even know how little it is. I’m not saying she should come and ask for more. Just saying the “start something” part may not be feasible. It’s not what you maybe thinking.

Ishilove:
I felt my IQ threatening to dip

hold onto it tightly

These kind of threads kill brain cells

Have you thought about asking your dad about it? Just see what he says. Is your mom aware? If she is, has she talked to your dad about it? She’s in the best position to bring it up if at all necessary.

Make sure you have something tangible before stirring the hornet’s nest.

Cook with it. It reduces the smell. But I like it (not raw obviously).
so, that your claim about all women is not accurate. Asian women nko? Big garlic lovers.
So definitely not all women.

If this story is real, your wife is not wise. On top these hard times.

When I saw this thread title, I thought it was a story.
That’s why I took so long to click on it.
I didn’t know it was something I’d find interesting.

To answer the question, I just found out.

LordKO:
LOL. If only I could be half as good as you when it comes to writing grammar.

What? Me?

Well thank you even though I don’t think I’m good like that. I appreciate the compliment

Lizzyangel:
I'm short of words...thanks ma'am....I'll live to remember your kind gesture

Praying for blessings for your household

Grammar

LordKO:
The day one marries a spouse who doesn't share same ethical leanings with him/her, automatically he becomes a subjugable or a conscientious carefree person, or a subjugator. Your type of wife doesn't deserve neither a subjugator nor a subjugable husband, citing your submission. So, you have to use a conscientious carefree approach to help her overcome her weakness unconsciously/unwittingly or wittingly - It'll be mutual lose and win for both of you while it lasts. If you can perfect it, she'll gradually overcome it, unless she doesn't value you in particular and the bond that holds two of you in general.

@bold, she needs to be more mature. This will be like handling a baby if he does all that for her. She needs to grow up.

Lizzyangel:
you can't change people...but environment attimes changes people a lot.....my piece of advice,

1....kindly relocate to a more isolated area...e.g and estate or new site where people are lesser in the compound and area and ensure your neighbors are all working.


2....After relocating...try to get a job or shop for her...or you buy her a laptop where you'll ask her to type 50pages per day before you come back from work that its a piece you'd be using at work.


3....Introduce her to Nairaland....she will get tired of their gist and will always want to check the latest news and also learn some things about life on Family section.



Trying to change her won't work out soon.
Best of lucks Sir.

All these “strange deaths” are simply covid related.

And we don’t even have accurate statistics

Sent and delivered. You’re welcome

Lizzyangel:
Thank you for EVERYTHING Ma'am

Stop engaging

Lizzyangel:
Thanks for the insult sir/ma
in grandma's era...there is nothing like covid19 that kept people indoor for months....farming was the major occupation and school fees and cost of living was lesser then...did she narrated how miserable she felt when she lost a child?
anyway....this is Nland....emi nimo tana wa oro

Lizzyangel:
.

Received
First name is L.
Just confirm receipt but don’t state amount. Don’t discourage anyone else from helping you by stating the amount. May God comfort you

Lizzyangel:
the only option left is my phone number...can I post my number,I'll modify when you get it so I can send it as text message PLEASE

Saw your DM and tried to reply but it says you can’t receive emails.
But no problem . Post it here. And delete it once I screenshot it.
That’s all the information in that form including which bank it is.

Kaamisha:
For many women the decision is family or career.

I agree and it shouldn’t be. We can do both

If you want to climb up high on the career ladder you will have to put a lot of time into building your career. The time you won't get to spend with your kids. Some jobs will take you around the world, hopping planes, living in hotels.

I feel like it also depends on the job in question. Some jobs you can get to your goal without having to be away from your family that much. But I understand that choice is important here.

When you listen to some women whose careers required them to work extra hours and possibly traveling, you will often hear how painful it was for them to leave their kids in the care of others, supportive husband or not, so the topic is worth having a discussion and as more women aim high and higher, many women will feel they have to choose.

I agree. It will take some time though. We need to educate ourselves to stop feeling guilty about sometimes delegating the home front to husbands while we also strive like they are doing to have a fulfilling career life.

We should offer support, seek solutions, not condemnation because it has been a long practice for men to have their career opportunities and wives who would have their backs at home, which led to financial inequality and many advantages for women. For women the situation is relatively new and still very difficult. I like your diplomatic approach though.

Tell me about it. When I hear anyone argue about how women don’t contribute and I think of the ages of financial oppression that women have had to endure, anyone who thinks we aren’t doing well for how far we have come isn’t a truth seeker. But that’s another topic.

I agree with only some of the bold. Work can give fulfillment. There are different types of fulfillment. while work can fulfill some aspects of one’s being, the balance with family, social etc life can make up for the rest.

And there was contradiction with the parts I quoted in the previous post above even though it was in response to someone else. But that’s by the way.

my post was in part response to you as the OP of the thread (doesn’t mean that every bit of it was in disagreement) and also more general speaking to anyone who’s reading the thread. Readers often take posts as for or against. So it’s either women should focus on work or focus on marriage. And that’s all they are taking away. No room for balance.

Remember there are other readers and contributors.

bukatyne:
@bold:

It is better to lose your two months salary than life servings;

My response was to a specific poster.

I believe this phrase is in the OP:

That is a work/job: it gives you money and the fine things of life however, it can never give fulfillment. That's why even the very rich after they have made money start to look for causes how they can touch the lives of people positively or negatively.

That is not to say we should not be productive or resourceful. Every human should to the best of their ability be productive in a job, vocation or their calling.

This is in another post to someone on this thread:
Discover your purpose (the hard part), then marry someone who keys into that purpose and vice versa. While at it, you would surely have a work to earn a living.

This thread is sadly not about work vs. family.

It is more of a charge for people not to be so engrossed in making a living that they forget what they are here for.

You stated that there is advantage of focusing on marriage over work.

My belief is that there needs be no focus on one over the other. Just a nice balance. Don’t get me wrong I’m not belittling family in favor of work.

I think both are very important and work is for more than earning a living. It’s good for mental health and achievement/surpassing of developmental crises. To mention but a few

bukatyne:
The advantage of focusing on marriage over work is that you train kids who will carry on with your legacy.

Marriage however differs in that it affects every other decision and fulfillment of your purpose.

That's why I would rate marriage above work.

Lizzyangel:
3....about the email address...the last time I used it was 2016....I don't buy MB...I'm using airtel free basics to come on Nland to read news and stories.

Sorry about that. I don’t have another method of reaching you. I don’t WhatsApp anyone.
And I use an international money transfer app that requires a little bit more information than your name and bank details. Which is why I prefer email address in order to protect recipients’ private information.

Find a way to get this info across to me without revealing more than you want to.

1) most people can do both with a supportive spouse. That’s what I’d encourage if anyone asks my opinion.

2) I agree that unflinching focus on work can lead to emptiness in other areas of life. (Family life mostly).
I also think that the same focus on family can lead to under fulfillment in other aspects of life. Which includes but is not limited to career life.

I don’t know many people who would disagree that creating a balance between the two is the optimal solution. Hence, I don’t think we even really need to be talking about the issue as if it’s a matter of either this or that. It can be both.

Instead emphasis should be created on more supportive husbands who don’t box their wives into a frame. And encourage women to know they can do more if they wish to and be successful at it too.

1)It’s true that losing a child can cause depression. However I’ve never been in that situation, did having another child fill the gap? Just curious.

2) what will you tell your husband about any money you receive since you don’t want him to know.
If you hide it from him, can you truly use it to help the family? I’m assuming he thinks you’re broke. Won’t he ask where you got the money from?

3) if you keep exchanging words with anyone who has something negative to say about your situation. It won’t help your cause. It will make others not sympathetic to you.
_{email me}

Lizzyangel:
Thanks for checking my profile, if I wanted to be a liar,I wouldn't have used my monicker .....truly in December 2018, I had problems,my Boss was owing me for 3months salary and I needed money to survive which I was ill-luck....no one sent me a dime, I scaled through the yuletide with the grace of God.

the second baby was the boy who died last year at 1yr plus due to health complications.

Tell me, if you have a wife and things were going smoothly with you guys,and suddenly things fall apart and you already had kids, will you be glad if she leave you cos of your present predicament?or you'd rather prefer she go around sleeping with men for money or engage in illegal acts? I can't say because my hubby is broke today,I won't stand by him...me coming online to beg is never my happiness and my husband mustn't know about it cos he detest such act ,but I need to do this for my family,it will become part of my success stories in future that I was once a beggar which no one has ever sent anything to me....and NL will be my reference point.


If God has blessed you, please don't hesitate to bless others, no one without a past ,I strongly believe this will also become my past.....I ain't lazy, I'm a graduate just like people earning millions and 6-digit monthly,I'm just not as opportune as they are.


ibi ori ba dani si laa gbe.

Lizzyangel:
yes sis...I was having two boys, 6yrs nd 1yr plus
the baby died in September.....thanks for your concern..may you never experience such in Jesus name

Amen

salford1:
Thanks madam. Trying to be a pro like you and many others on this thread

Hehe all these compliments o. Thanks. Appreciate it

He is and will always be a gem