₦airaland Forum

djon78:
The truth is that marriage these days is becoming something else. Moral values has dropped so low.
To find a good woman now you will have to seek and search, and if God has mercy on you to find one.
There are still good women out there, if God favours you, then you will find because the best thing that can happen to a man is to find and marry a good woman. But on the other hand the man must also value the woman because I have seen occasions where men are married to good women but does not value them.

eyeview:
I think that consciousness that a man can conduct DNA test on their kids will help reduce the alarming rate of married women's careless infidelity that is sadly becoming rampant.
The slay queens are only interested in two things: self and materialism. And we have entered that era where they are now becoming wives and mothers.
I think it's heartless for a woman to spread her legs for another man with the mindset of 'I can always push the outcome to my husband'

Caustics:
that is even small. my neighbours wife used grounded ogbono to cook big pot of stew for the family this easter. She had to sleep at my place for 4 days because her husband wanted to kill her. the stew and chicken and meat all wasted. stew was drawing like draw soup. she said she thought it was crayfish

segzy0i:
[/b]you have really tried woman like you is very rare[/b] but what I think u can do is prepare him his favourite meal watch his mood may be night or midnight then talk to him about finance in your family let him know that you guys need to plan for the future you can agree on a particular percentage of each money or u give him a part u know you can part with from your salary and let him take the financial leadership of the home let the kids address him for there needs I think by that he will be more responsible sure he will if he's not a drunkard nor a gambler

Onegai:
Hush, child! Sit back and watch them die of anguish and hypocrisy. They are denying that was what the Book of Hosea was about: God's love in the face of people refusing to love Him back. If I had typed this to a woman, I'd be getting shares, likes and applause. They would have added this to their roster of Bible passages used to manipulate a woman into staying with a man who was unrepentant about cheating, but God forbid they look inwardly and see the Bible is gender-equal and tells men to do the same. Their own "special bible" also says men are polygamous even though the Ten Commandments says "Thou shalt not commit Adultery". It's their right to cheat.

samguru:
1.anytime i mentioned condom, she said no, that she is mature and that she can control her body to prevent pregnancy.

2.she used abortion as a threat and later she threatened that she will have the baby and nurture him, and when the baby grows up she will tell him his father is late.

3. I have a comfortable job atleast i earned well above 200k as monthly salary.

4.lost job a month into the courtship, lost another a month after wedding, lost another one three weeks after employment,lost another job in december.within a space of 12 months i lost 4 jobs.

5. i go to local markets for shopping, wash plates in the morning cos i wake up before her,wash her clothes using washing machines but never helped her to sweep and whenever she is in the kitchen i always stand with her.

6.the child was not with his dad, the child lives with her mother(i.e my wife's mother) who lives two streets away from our street and i av bn paying the boy school fees,but stopped when i lost the last job.

7.no ma, she is always violent and aggressive.and whenever she started her wahala, i usually vacate the house for her.

coolcatty:
Agidi man...soft like moi moi....clap for yourself.....see the rubbish you just spewed..a woman prevented you from meeting up with a life changing appointment and you say it with all manner of confidence...she even wanted to kill you with a bottle but you escaped...smh

See what a grown man is saying...a woman you put in your own house...this your story is nauseating walahi......:how I wish Ur wife is married to me....but heck I won't be that slow and dumb to marry a single mother.. A rejected woman with unstable temperament.....imagine a woman raising weapon on me...that will be the day....you are too soft....don't go back to that house oo....your husband will kill you someday.

samguru:
haba madam, why did come down on so heavy,I decided to conceal some of what she did because i don't want to wash her dirty linens on nairaland, but your comment will make me to go further.

When i met this lady, she was working and i was working too.a week before i met her a company poached me and offered two times of my salary. infact i was a toast of many companies in the industry.

three weeks into the relationship she started disturbing about marriage,i told her i have not known much of you that lets give ourselves time to study each other.Anytime i made the statement she always cries and say i dont really love her that i just want to use and dump her, but i kept reassuring that i love her.most of the times she will ask me to sleep with her to make her happy in the course of this pregnancy came up.

to cut the long story short, i lost my job a month after resumption for no reason, i even posted it here on nairaland on how to sue the company but many nairalanders counsel me to forget and move on.during this period she kept on pestering my life for wedding and threatened to abort the pregnancy without recourse to my state of joblessness.A month later i reapplied to my former company and was taken back immediately.

A month after our wedding, i lost the job again and was totally down and all she could do in this time is to be causing me more headaches.
She will ask me to go to market to get her foodstuff and ask me to do other things, i obliged because i wanted peace.

I told her to bring the child she has for her former husband into the house,play with him,buy him stuffs(biscuits and sweets), at a point she was complaining that i too like her child and i told her i see the boy as my child.when i said that wahala started.

Thereafter all the companies that have been calling me in the past that i visited, they are now rejecting me,in short i thought the world has come to an end for me, instead of her to be consoling me she will be threatening and frustrating my life.

when i eventually got a job, i told her i have got a job but we need to borrow money for the family upkeep and my transportation fare,trouble started again, she said why will i discuss such thing with her and i left the house immediately because she is violent.when i came back in the night she was drunk, she wanted to kill me that night with a bottle but i manage to escape.

Another one, i have appointment somewhere on the island one day, she said she would not allow me to go out that day and i told her how important that appointment was she said no that i must give her money, i had just seven hundred naira with me and i gave her five hundred naira, she collected the money and tore it to pieces, i reported this to her elder brother and brother was telling me i am too soft as a man, eventually i missed the appointment and lost the job.

many bad things that i can remember.

LUGBE:
What advice do you need, when you are jumping up and down, you don't know, those her behavior we're there abinitio but you were blinded, birds of the same feather.

If you are responsible what were you looking for in a single mother, tell me the truth, will you tell me that your people didn't warn you against her initially.

Please bear your cross, stop disturbing us after all you didn't tell or ask us for implication of what you were doing is now you want solution.

All the same, look for about three serious offences and pick her up but not issue that she insults your Mum, after all she won't insult your mum if your mum is minding her business. Thanks

Onegai:
From the mouth of "Pastor" Victor Ibeh

Hosea 1:1-3

And the Almighty God said to Hosea, "go and get thee an harlot for a wife, for I want to use her to teach the Israelites, what true love is".

Hosea got a harlot wife who gave him three children and kept cheating on him with random men.

While she was cheating on him, he didn't stop loving her. Occasionally, he begged her to stop cheating but she refused.

Hosea was patient with his wife AS ALL GODLY MEN SHOULD. At the time she was tired of being married to him, she divorced him and moved on.

Dear Nigeria virtuous man, be like Hosea. Learn to follow the right example. Stop chasing away your cheating wives.

When your wife is cheating, it is because there is something lacking in your life. Don't get mad at her. Be patient with her. Entreat her to stop.

Above all be prayerful. Prayer is the Master key and Masters of the house should always know how to use prayer.

A man is the head of the family just as Christ is the head of the church. Christ does not throw us away when we cheat on him. He draws us closer and shows us more love.

When your wife cheats, show her some more love. Love is a powerful weapon. If she doesn't stop after you have done all these then give her freedom to satisfy herself. But don't stop praying for her.

Remain blessed as you show forth godly examples in your families.

Amen...

Copyright, Victor Ibeh 2017

Let all this DNA test stop because it is ungodly. Men, love your wives like God instructs you to do. Be faithful and accept the children in love. God is watching you and He hates divorce. War Room. Hallelujah.

RadicallyBlunt:
Why pick up only a phrase out of many. Besides did the op complain about chores to you? Her complain is finances. However the chores have been going on is ok to her... perhaps he does some or he even does everything..whichever d case is. Chores isn't d op's problem and she's not looking for marital debate madam advicer.

RadicallyBlunt:
So what is your point now. That the man shd start doing chores ? Just say it in plain words...that after they courted for adequate time before marriage and they both agree to go into the marriage knowing the risk such a high income difference could pose, they can now exchange duties, while d wife takes her position as d head of the home because she's paying bills, the hubby is to switch to wife post and do d chores.

If you want your thought justified just ask God to remove your womb and put it in ur husband then give you a penniis so that it will be clear that womanhood is a burden than a privilege.

Instead of advising a troubled op, you're debating between a man and a woman in marriage. Did she mention chores to you? The issue is finances here.

bukatyne:
90% of the time, when a man pays all the bills, the wife handles all the chores (division of labour).

90% of the time, when a woman pays all the bills, she is still expected/handles most of the chores herself else she is proud and using the husband as her 'houseboy' (the labour is only on her shoulders)

When you see a husband who has no qualms providing fully and doing all the chores when the wife is not sick, quote me.

Ab025:
Gals are always gals..
They pursue married men the way a bee goes after honey!

And they now want their husbands to themselves alone once they get married....?

#impossible...

SonsOfLiverpool:
don't take me literarily my dear. I believe you know what I mean.

when/if I finally get the chance to get married I'll be the god. no I won't be an arrogant one but there must be contro whether it makes sense to you or not is another story.

the only issue you have is the word "god". ma, there's always going to be a leader in every kind of societal settings.

TheUmbra:
And here comes the grand patron of NL's feminists on a rescue mission trying to save a lost course.

Your apprentice was an easy snack as you've no doubt observed hence the need for your intervention. But you should thread with causion

Now, what were you really trying to pass across? It seemed hard sifting facts from the need to save a comrade in your posts.

SonsOfLiverpool:
in every society even the family structure yes there must always be a god. but remember even God has Jesus and the holy spirit as allies.

society and nature has given the man the roll of the god. and any proposition that deviates from this is seen as a taboo. money or no money.

there are good people. there are bad people. men or women

SonsOfLiverpool:
when a man takes care of the bill 100% there's no problem. when a woman does close to 90% there'll be problem. so much for gender equality nonsense.

on that note, please keep paying the bills but leave out some and get him tensed. like make him understand its not enough. don't push too far with this though.

anyways, I think he is too relaxed because of your pay. talk sense to him or talk to his family for help.

and yes am not married so this advice is based on common sense.

TheUmbra:
In reflection of the emboldened; it is clear you have a restricted text book understanding of the term blackmail hence you've been dancing this ignorant dance. This again tilt towards the question of the quality of your education.


Failing to answer critical facts set before you on the implications of marital infidelity as it relates to gender but resorting to cheap tactics by labeling me a chauvinist is nothing short of emotional blackmail.

I thought it should be easy for you to understand.

TheUmbra:
Emotion is an enemy to facts and bias is emotion on over-drive. This is the chief factor that makes debating with the female folk on factual and logical ground a near-impossibility.

You have failed to read my post without emotional interference.

May I ask you;

What is your understanding of my opener "While it is easily admissible that infidelity across gender is wrong with far reaching disastrous consequences..."?

Scientific research being wrong on what? That women are not more likely to be infected with STDs than men?

nahzyla:
The silly man fabricated that post himself, nobody sent him any message.

It's so obvious.


Such lies.... Shameless man