₦airaland Forum

@ Kenecee

Believe me i get what you'r saying, and i wish you get a second chance. But that's one thing with love, you should give your last to be questioning free, Cos what i see as "no biggie" might be a large deciding factor for someone else

Yea, in your heart you know you love her, but she isn't in your heart. She believes what her own heart is telling her. It was just a phone conversation?? What prove does she have that it was just that??

Some guys are caught red-handed with some other girl and forgiven?? You never know, she might have forgiven you for that but not capable of getting this one past her.

You call it flimsy?? Well i think that's part of the problem because you're yet to take a course on human feelings to stop defending yourself.

Does she have trust problems?? If yes, then that might have a say.

At this point there's little anyone else can do about the situation, try talking to the friends of hers that you get along with, they might help convince her it was a "flimsy" mistake. She is in control of it all, you know her well enough, so you should be in a better postion to know how to make her see reasons with you

I hope she gets over it soon, if not, you have my deepest sympathy but experience they say is the greatest teacher. Now you know what not to do in your next relationship!!!

Curiously, what exactly went down in the conversation, if you can put that down to us, then we might have a better look at where the problem lies

Seun:
I believe it is just to pay the police to do a job they were supposed to do in the first place. For instance, some banks pay the police to provide them with better security. In my opinion, that does not violate one's integrity.

So if every tom, benson and harry has to pay the police to rescue them from criminals, what exactly is it then that the government pays them for??

Of course he could offer them some money as thanks, but pay them for doing their job is ridiculous in my opinion. But then isn't it Nigeria, can you really expect something better?? Not a chance

I guess rape victims too will now have to present some cash on the table for the culprit to be rendered some justice??
Real wah

BTW, when a bank pays the police, its becasuse they want them stand by 24/7, but should there occur a robbery in a bank, i'm sure they don't go out of their will to pay them, it'll just be the police doing their job. But then there's a different definition to the police's "job" when you cross the boarder down to Africa!!

My sincere advice?? I don't know you, but from a friend to a friend??

That guy is the guy for you, I'm positive. Search no more hun, Cos you've found him!!

From all indications of your post, he is worth another chance. Like i always say, if someone loves you, yea they'll do anything humanly possible to not hurt you (with emphasis on "humanly", but that someone loves you, does not make them perfect nor less human

(there are cheats, and there are cheats but some cheats are more worth the while than others)

I admire his honesty which is a very important thing in a relationship, and yes he made a big mistake, but darling some circumstances require your total forgiveness, he said he was drunk, yu said you don't know him to be one, but sh*t does happen once in a while, and in as much as we love to say NEVER, we're human too and will expect a fair share of understanding when we're in our lowest state, please offer him some. For one reason or the other, I believe he'll put on his best to make sure you smile for as long as both of you will live. Now that doesn't mean there won't be ups and downs but its the "survival of the strongest and bravest".

The mum and sis, give them some time, like your boyfriend said they'll come around. The incident that went between you guys and the notion it left behind is something you just have to stay back and prove wrong. They got the wrong pic of you, now honey you can't just leave and let them believe that
There have been worse cases before and i'm sure after yours that have been resolved, your case?? is a piece of cake. And the sister i'm sure is just taking sides with the mum, which most girls are known to do. Talk to them, no matter how much they push you away prove to them you haven't thought about giving up that easily ooh, sooner or later they'll be drawn to the real you personality and wouldn't do otherwise than just love you. You love their guy, i can sniff it from here

You're a lucky specie, make it worth it, Cos only you can!!

Omo Eko:
Happy birthday girl sorry am late but i justgot home WISH YOU LONG LIFE

You're not late, its still 13th

Omo Eko:
@cute-ass

Hey sweetie how u dey, miss uuuuuuuu , i guess will talk to you tomm

Talking to you now

Ezinwannem:
When u put NWAKA without spacing it out, its an insult in igbo. it should be NWA KA EGO/AKUNUBA

I thought the insult was spelt "WAKA" not "NWAKA" ,and i also thought the word was hausa "SHEGE WAKA BANZA" _{or something like that}

And come to think of it i have a friend that goes by the name (a lot others do too) and its not spaced, they actually write NWAK(A)EGO or friends can shorten it NWAKA

In norwegian it would be . . barn er større enn penger

Well dear, that choice is yours alone to make. No other person would be sharing the consequences of whatever decision you take, so do not let someone else make it for you since you'd rather live regretting your own mistake than someone else's, right??

Families/parents are so fond of comparing and contrasting when it comes to life issues like marriage. They'll remind you of "Aunty Stella" who did this and that happened or of "Uncle John" who went this way and that way so on.

The truth is no two people's destiny are the same, they might turn out with the same outcome or not. But absolutely no one knows what the outcome is yet until you've tried. Your relatives are just taking precautions of which might turn out true or false.

At the end of the day, its left for you to choose between the partner you want or please your family members. If you do the latter, will you regret it in future when all the "what ifs" arise??

If you choose the first, can you stand your family and their dissapproval??

Now is when i'll tell you to search as deep as your soul can go and make a priority check?? which can you live with? Love is a strong thing, it overcomes a lot but it also has its share of risks and challenges, are you willing take them??

Some carry it because its the "in" thing like some said
Some carry it not just beacsue its the "in" thing, but because they saw it on someone else and liked it
Some carry it because they got loads (one of my friends, i'm sure she has her whole house inside it lol, just ask her the least expected and she'll be like "wait a minute, i have it somewhere in my bag" lol
Some carry it because its always been "their" thing

Now i would carry it because i've seen people with it and liked it. Funny enough i don't have a big bag yet . . why?? its not the first thing on my "got to get" list, my moderate bags are still doing their thing and secondly i haven't seen the one that says (to me though) "you can't leave the shop without me" and until then i'll do without. The ones that have actually tickled my fancy have been in "white" and that not a i-have-only-one-of-this colour

I don't want a trader's bag I want it big, flashy and fancy

iice:
Hey dreams are good, same goes for fantasies. And yes oooo i will claim him wella, bin into him since i first saw him. Can't blame for drooling over a fine specimen as him

My sister dream on jare . . best part?? Its free of charge

iice:
Am a fan of the show, of course my hubby Wentworth Miller is the center. Dominic Purcell (Linc) is a total Hottie. T-Bag is a wonderful Psycho whose brain i would love to explore, he's my favorite character aside from my hubby John Abruzzi was great too till he got smoked! Love the FBI guy, real psycho!

Dearie, easy with the "claiming"
Dreamers dey this world sha, if wishes were horses, ooh lawd won't beggers be riding?? lol

@ topic
Well maybe i'll watch the season three(3) on tele. Prison Break is one among many other tv series i wished i had time for. I'm a tv addict and got a 1001 shows to follow, it sucks when two programms you want to watch are being starres on two different channels at the same time

But i'll get a tape of the first two seasons (infact they just aired the last episode on season two on thursday here in Norway, yea they're slow atimes) But hopefully i'll be able to finish the tape before the sending of season 3 and maybe follow it on screen too

Well when i'm done i'll come back with my views and opinions!!

Now regards the case of his mum and sis, yea i agree that its frustrating dealing with oppositions from family members but to this case, i'll say they're on two different angles.

If he hadn't cheated on you, were you in any way thinking of leaving him because of the mum and sis?? If No, then they shouldn't be your reason to stay or leave. BTW if i may ask, what exactly do they have against you?? What does he have to say about it??

If you think you can cope with them, then let the sky be your limit. When walking into a family for marriage, there are chances of those, now its your one-on-one decision with yourself, if you would or would not live under the circumstances. Atimes those are the disadvantages that come with love, how much does this guy mean and worth to you?? Can you because of him try to make peace with his female family members and make them see how perfect you guys are for each other?? Is it too much a cross for you to carry, having both sister and mum against you and you are willing to walk out on the love of your life??

Make a priority list, and at the end of the day whichever matters most to you should be your command He who wears the shoe knows where it pinches him, where is yours pinching you?? If you ask me, you can turn them around to love you, but you might never be able to love another this much, darling what's it going to be??

Take your time, these are life-time decisions and should not be made in a minute!!!

@ maleeq, dear i like your thoughts, very matured

@ seyin

Now lets cross this sea . .

How did you get to know about his cheating??

How sincerely sorry is/was he?? How long has it been since you guys broke up?? Why has it been difficult for you to love another??

I don't need to ask you how it was when you guys were together, Cos from all indications he treated you WELL, could it actually be that him cheating was his no-one-is-above-a-mistake fall??

I do think so I do not commend cheats but i do believe in the second-chance theory when its done under the right circumstances. Yours I think is one of them

Even though its not reason enough its clear he loves you, and in as much as i don't want girls playing dumb, it seems he deserves a chance. You've made it clear to him that you don't condone cheats, make him understand that the next time he does it, will be your ticket out of the relationship!!

And I don't think he's tricking you with his proposal, I'm sure he's found out one thing in life he woudn't want to part with nor live without (you), give him the chance to show you how big and bad the mistake he committed was

A little secret for your birthday

I've been holding tight a little secret
Been sneaking around the halls,
And now the day's arrived
It's time to tell them all.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY
To my special sis
Who's cute in every way,
C'mon take my little gift
For now this is YOUR day.

Unwrap it right now before me
For I filled it with hugs and kisses sweet,
Press them close to your heart
And smile big and wide inside
You are, yes you, are today's perfect treat

We wish you a happy birthday

We wish you a Happy Birthday
Whether we are near or far away miles
We are happy to come together
With all our great big smiles

We are bringing many wishes
Especially wrapped up for you
Wanting you to have very happy times
In the celebrations we do for you

For this party belongs to you
On this your own special day
May all your biggest wishes come true
For you in a very special way

Dear this is the fourth time we're being honoured with this topic, we're short of "2cents" to contribute to it because we've already said it all!!

It was even opened yesterday by someone who didnt know it already existed twice, just search around, you'll come across them

uyai:
never promise to marry any woman unless you are very sure of it. HELL KNOWS NO FURY TNAN THAT OF A WOMAN'S SCORN

If you are cool with her parents, go to them

Dear i get your point but on the other hand don't like the message behind it.

He wouldn't be the first to go through "hell" and come back because he promised and called off a marriage proposal. Some women do worse and YES its not right to dump the girl after her hopes have been made high but thats absolutely not good a reason to blackmail the person

If you really loved the person, does N50,000.00 put an end to the pain?? Some will say "well its a good start" but it could have been the girl saying no at the dying minute. For the records, girls refuse guys at the altar, marriage isn't something anyone should wish another go into with a doubting spirit But my people please always be SURE before reciting those words!!!

@ poster
If you guys have dated for a long time, and you just realised you didn't have a future now, she has no right in seizing your items, but what you did wasn't noble, i just have to say that. I guess one thing leads to the other

I suggest you do as Seun said, thats your best option or you can ask her to meet you somewhere, she with the documents and you with a cheque (which she would later realize was a fake one lol, would love to see the look on her face) but the girl might be too smart to be played like that, so again Seun has the right way out!! Beat her at her game, she wouldn't know what hit her. I advice you be prayerful, the girl sounds like a dangerous one, who knows her next move??

A desperate lady is capable of anything!! Watch your back.

Jimiyke:
'i want to push cup' please igbo an igbo man here should translate it in igbo.

You're not serious at all Mr, poster

I must confess its a good one though, well translated to Igbo will be "A chô m i kwa iko"

Which when translated back to english literally will be "I want to fornicate or commit adultery" lol

deejah:
Hello all Nairaland users. I am to the forum and really look forward to a wonderful, inspiring and thought provoking interaction with you all. It's my pleasure to be here as part of the forum.

Dearie i can assure you all that and even more, if not, hold me to my words lol

Welcome to nairaland, don't get addicted like the rest of us (kinda impossible rule ), stay away from trouble-makers (run when you see them), have fun to the fullest (its a must here)!!!!!!!

eeeennnnnjjjjjjjjjooooooooooyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!

Seyin:
There are indeed some cuties in the competition, who would have guessed it in this same Nairaland

Hope you didn't leave without voting dear

davidylan:
At seven, shouldnt the girl herself be responsible for her attitude? When we were 6 years old we knew right from wrong! Let's stop using her age as an excuse for irresponsible behaviour. She's a glutton simple!

She should go to Darfur to slim down!

You know why i can't agree with your point of view?? Couldn't you see sha was heavily overweight at the age of 5??
Should she have taken responsiblity of herself then too??

Her parents started the journey, and its not always kids (at the age of 7), can change the rutine put into them by the parents

I still blame her parents

Rlst84sale:
Is it true that ladies always take after their mothers even when they become married?. I'm not talking about physical look I'm talking about the way they relate to their husbands most especially.

Not at all . . you got to start learning that its all in the individual.

I've seen some extraordinary mothers end up with nothing-to-write-home-about daughters, and i've seen loose mothers come up with an-angel-for-a-daughter kind of girl, and both vice versa.

Just examine the girl herself, what happened to Mr.A might not be the outcome of Mr.B's story even though they made same choices!!

nana:
Cute-ass,nice analysis jare.

@ Kenecee

What i dislike is when someone reads half of a post sent to them. Of course i have to be mean analysing it Cos what you did was bad, you just can't expect me to cheer you to do it again, do you? You have to tell the person the raw truth, then find a solution to the problem.

We are bound to have side attraction?? and you expect your girlfriend to sing praises to that?? Comm'on she's human,  not even you would appreciate your girlfriend talking to some other guy in the name of "side attraction"

Put yourself in her shoes, I know i would have been furious. But like i told you earlier, you be the judge, if you would have forgiven her then I pray with all my heart you be shown the same mercy.

If you really love her like you claim, give her some time but don't cease in showing her how much you care and are willing to go any length to prove to her that she's the one you love. Don't give up, I'm sure she'll come around. Girls are sensitive, and you did hurt her feelings. And bruise her pride because she obviously thinks she isn't good enough any longer. Make her see she is all you want . . With sincere efforts from your side, believe me she'll come around

But please while you're at it, I hope you're not justifying your actions towards her, because that will defintely not solve the problem. I wish you luck, yea we're human and capable of doing mistakes but dearie always think of the consequences and if they're worth it!!!
Keep us posted

Exactly 1koo1

@ yomoyomo

Unfortunately Nairalanders cannot read the girl's mind. Its either she likes you, or she doesn't but you have to ask. She's the only one in control of her feelings

You saidshe gets quiet?? Well its either she's the quiet type or she's shy around you, that could also be the case when a girl likes you (but that is something we're yet to find out)

And please dearie stop the gesture of comparing yourself to her friends Cos when its not clear where bothof you stand (lovers or just friends) it might be difficult for her to know how to relate to you

But there's no need for speculations and assumptions when you can hear it all from the horse's mouth. Just tell her you like her a lot and would like to take her out, or get to know her better or . . (guys, you know the rest lol)

If she says yes, then your dream has come true, ENJOY!!
If she says no, dearie its not the end of the world and life surely goes on, maybe a little bit dissappointed but you'll pick up in no due time. But at least the cards have now been placed on the table, you know where you stand and she knows where she stands. You can go on being friends with no strings attached!!

Good luck hun and Keep us posted

derinsola:
THAnk cute ass maybe because am SHORTSIGHTED AM SO GREATFUL U HELPED ME OUT

Not at all darling, happens to the best of us . . gimme a minute let me get you both links

Here's one for starters: https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-50917.0.html

Yea, i think its good to be a jealous lover.

It shows your partner that they're appreciated, cherished (too precious to be lost), wonder how it would feel for your partner to find out some other guy is seriously after you or that he met you with some guy whom he's yet to be introduced to as your family member or classmate . . and not show any sign of jealousy . . where's the urge then of wanting the person to yourself and yourself alone (not literally meant)

But like any other thing in life, too much of anything/everything is bad

I consider jealousy "bad" when the person gets carried away with it (i call it being jealous to a fault, and thats not cool at all), start acting in an un-called for manner, or being abusive and violent. Be jealous but do not give up the "trust" factor

And YES, i'm a jealous lover but only in the cute way, nothing overboard as that'll take the "cuteness* of it away!!