₦airaland Forum

Dyt:
Cyber g y u askin me na
is it nt true
n yorisb cos u jst did

Tell me something. . .   It's time social studies textbook get an update: The basic needs of man: food, shelter, clothing and kitten?? Okay, approved!  

@Mrs. Eve. . .thank you for this piece of valuable information! I promise not to forget it!  

But you know that even if a woman has a man who just happens to be very busy trying to create a good life for both him and his future wife (now GF), it is enough grounds for break-up because the woman does not see him enough. This is a fact, right??

This is the wrong question ! I think we should ask can the WOMAN be alone?  

Dyt:
dey cant do witout p.u.na.ni

Dyt. . .is that like a medicine or food or water, 'cos I need to know if it is a necessity for the sustenance of life?  

@Nubian. . .the ending of your last post was really funny and the beginning only peaked my curiosity:

NubianQ:
@Cyber G,

I am what the African Culture would love to hate and i am what the West would consider as Alternative.

1. What does this mean. . .it's rather cryptic.

Maybe when i find someone to tame me i might become desperate and propose or run around to find him in parties

I know i am going to get shot for saying this but here it goes,

If i was ever going to consider getting married, the man would definately have to think very differently,  so far all the people that i get on with are not black,  finding a black man who thinks very diffrent and acts different is as hard as finding a needle in a haystack

some of us are really not into looks or what the average woman would want,  I look for what is in the persons head,  believe me,  i meet some guys that make me want to poke my eyes out

2. It's fair to be attracted to any race/kind of people but tell me about what you think should be in their head? This I am VERY curious about but before I go telling you about "the quality" of things in my head or a LOT of black guys I know, please elaborate. Perhaps you are talking about something that I am not thinking about. . .so let me know before I jump the gun!

going back to the topic,

American men are crazy! lol,  some of them,  having baby mamas is not being westernised, i think its actually very silly that some men think its a good thing,

As for Nigerian American/british singles abroad,  i BLAME all the naija men oh,  once a girl lives abroad they start putting the girl down, instead they rather go to naija to find a wife, i wonder why some of them think that the women there are better,

i really need someone to explain why they do this, seriously

Nigerian men always become defensive about this but i find that its true, why do some men think the ones at home are better,

I blame the naija men for making women abroad desperate

3. Kai. . .Nubian, this last set of points are one of the major issues which never seems to go away but is becoming more prominent. I speak for myself but I can confidently speak for a LOT of my male friends who have tried Nigerian girls abroad but I'd like to hear your response to (1) and (2) before making this post any longer with more text.


so tell your fellow bordas that Aunty Nubian is coming to smack them

@Oladelove. . .it just occurred to me to ask and I will appreciate your answer. If you cannot write here, please email me. I have very good reasons why I ask:

1. What is the relationship with your wife and parents like, especially her MOTHER?

2. Do you have any idea of the relationship between her father and mother?

3. Do you have a good idea of her relationship between her and her siblings?

4. How about her closest friends?

In case this looks like BS to you, there is a lot of wisdom in it. If you can't write it here, email me and I will respond to you privately.

This is very sad. I know someone exactly like YOUR wife (based on your description and NOT in Ife) and I knew and made up mind long before that there will never be anything like marriage. Guys like you (us )  are very rare and dating a woman like this could be one hell of a ride! From your writing and assuming you are truthful in what you said, I KNOW EXACTLY what you are describing. To a lot of people, it's like just another NL story. Unfortunately, if she does not change, even with your pastors and parents and older family members providing support, it will be very tough indeed. You may get to a point where you totally like her when she is with you or when you see her but you totally hate her attitude! You can be happy one minute and the next, you are in another big fight which will take days to resolve and you will be the one to apologize when she's REALLY wrong!

The problem is that it is impossible to have to hold the short end of the stick for 60 years and not get tired! If you keep begging her because you don't have much options (divorce), her effrontery and ferocity of insults, abuse and disgrace would increase! Guy, fasten your seat belt and get ready for one hell of a ride! At this same time, you are weakest in your heart, it is time to begin to fortify your heart strength and over-ride with your brains. Don't keep your true and long-term friends very far from you 'cos you may need them really soon (and you should know why)! Pray hard and keep keeping on!

@Tpia. . .haha, you're so funny! Not to take anything based on race as I have met some very profound Caucasian ladies who were really very wonderful but there were other issues. However, this is a different story so I will not elaborate at this time. I have personally never had any problem with Nigerian women o. . .they are the best . . .if one meets the right one! But don't forget that the process of even coming close to know if she is "right" is fraught with many obstacles! Tpia, some things are just easier said than done and while it could be heaven on earth with the right one, the wrong one could make a good brotha go from being human to a demon. . .LOL.

Imagine some day you read a thread on NL: Can anyone give me good reasons why I should not transform into a terror?? Na lady wahala dey at the root of such an inquiry!

@ Tpia. . .I know you are just pulling my legs, huh? Yes, that is quite true but it's mostly a cliche! What is the use of love that does not last as long as your car?

Abeg, me I no wan marry 10 times before 60 ooohhh

@Wksi. . .thanks for your compliment and it was nice reading your experience on that side too! It's nice to have 1 More friend on here! and yes, I will be reading your posts from time to time too.

@Nubian. . .I tell you there are so-called "desperate" men (so I think) only that needs to be qualified. For starters, there are several posts on NL that highlights this point immediately. But, desperate for what? Marriage? Sex? Companionship? Either one of these or all, including more as people are always looking for different things.

Real life story: I have a friend and this guy is really GOOD! Look, he is one of those kind of guys that ladies say they want (at least in theory) but this guy could not get a girlfriend for years before he got married. He practically went home and got married to someone he knew, not that they were dating or anything like that. . .at least this was what he told me. He did not have to tell me he was "desperate" and you know a lot of people ever admit something like that but yes, he was! I have more friends who just went to Nigeria and got married to someone else after a lot of disappointments with ladies over here. Why would anyone want to travel approximately 2 days (plus stop-over time) anytime you want to see someone and get to know someone you plan to spend the rest of your life with? If the person was just some blocks away (5-10 mins drive) and as Nigerian, as female, etc and you could get to really know the person, why the stress of going to Sokoto to get what is in the pocket of his sokoto? In the meantime, a lot of guys decide to start "playing the game" and they would date a lot of girls they will NOT marry! In more situations than not, these girls do *everything* to make this guy not to make-up his mind for them and finally, they will break-up.

Personally, and with the kind of family I grew-up in, I cannot imagine not getting married and living a "normal" family life. I have never seen a marriage as good as that of my parents and how do I de-educate my mind from it? If I wanted to be westernized, I would have gotten some baby mamas but it is so hard to wanna go down that route for lots of reasons! Why would a man work so hard to be very successful and then dissipate all that success with multiple baby mamas and children who will never have a full family experience?

Nubian, would you be able to put your decision not to get married to life's experience or something? You know decisions like that never jump out of the blues. . .it has to be something that has to inform such a profound decision.

@Tpia. . .na wah o . Goodness, why did I move to where I am now? I should be smacking myself upside down now that na white full everywhere I dey cos chances of marrying white is very slim for me. Time to re-strategize! LOL

When I first saw this headline. . .I had to burst into laughter! "Fuel-less" ke? What happened to one of the first laws you will ever learn if you ever took a physics class? "Energy can neither be created nor destroyed, it can only be transformed from one state to another" - Law of Conservation of Energy! The blame for this over-hyped work done by these diligent students will rest on the JETS Coordinator and uninformed journalist who did not present the truth about what was actually created. Assuming the journalist had only a background in Languages, is there no journalist who has any technical background whatsoever? Or, does it mean that Google does not work in their office so he can cross check and publish the actual facts?

These kids have done a good job but it is important they be guided properly as they develop further in their academics and choose a career!

Mygoldie:
@OP if you don't want to get hurt for the hundreth time,it is better you stay off younger guys, for your own good.

Goldie. . .are you talking from experience? Please elaborate why you think it is bad.

wksi:
@Cyber it's crazy here.  During the Nigerian @50 independence party in NY, there were about 3 different venues for the after celebn party that night, I attended one of the parties briefly and left for another one, in the second venue, I met 2 Nigerian ladies in their early 30s, I started a conversation with them after a 2 drinks.  Before I could say jack one of them asked me if I have a gf, I told her yes.  These ladies started lamenting, "that all good and matured men are taken! that they regret coming out that night for the party, that the hall is filed with children, one of them said that a guy worked up to her to toast her and she asked him his age, and the guy was bold to say that he is 24! that can you imagine a 24 year old guy coming to toast her? I told them that they could check the other party venue that we left, that their are significant mature guys their including some guys that flew in from Nigeria to attend the party. They broke out immediately and started rushing to the venue.  I was shocked by their reaction.

But the truth is that these ladies had one time or the other neglected an opportunity to get hooked up when they were younger, but they thought that tomorrow will never come.  I only pray that God will provide every one who sincerely needs a partner with one.

@Nubian. . .I must admit that I completely support Wksi opinion on the bolded part but the prayer, it is very hard to agree with that prayer. I have very good personal reasons for this and I am VERY sure it is the experience of a lot of men otherwise, the volume of the romance thread will probably be significantly less.

Wksi. . .you are so on point!! Look, it is IMPOSSIBLE for a lady (lets make it a lady only average in everything. . .which is the largest proportion of any normal distribution) NOT to meet at least a couple of "correct" guys from 18 - 2* that she needs to make a reasonable decision within acceptable bounds of error. But look, if God that we pray to and we believe provides for man, spent his time and resources to bring REALLY good men your way but you completely cast them off. . .why should God keep providing them and the lady squanders them perfectly each time?

I know a girl and the only things she has going for her is she is young, very pretty and hot! I am a guy, I know ladies well but I know this one VERY well, so it is just an example of the several that happens to people everyday. She is VERY ARROGANT (though she may seem humble to a stranger), CARES ONLY ABOUT PHYSICAL THINGS, MAKE-UP (specialist), VERY VERY DULL (though if you spoke to her you may think she knows something, total empty barrel!), ACCEPT CORRECTION (Impossible), LISTEN TO OTHER'S OPINION (never), WILL NOT REASON OUT ANYTHING, would rather someone do it rather than LEARN to do it herself, DRAMA, HOT TEMPERED, (areas of spectacular specialization), clothes, shoes, perfume, party, FACEBOOK (1000%) and she SPENDS HOURS DRESSING UP JUST TO TAKE PICTURES TO PUT ON FACEBOOK! Then she spends almost all her free time ("life" on Facebook. I KEEP OTHER TERRIBLE THINGS AWAY BECAUSE YOU'D NEVER BELIEVE IT!

Look, I am NOT God and who knows what God will do? But that is one prayer I will like to see what happens in her case. Most ladies less than her age have almost finished university but she HATES EDUCATION and will get mad that another person works so hard to get excellent results. But look, a woman like this has and will squander the best opportunities she would ever have. If the prettier, smarter and more purposeful ladies find it hard (sometimes), your guess is as good as mine.

[b]Digression: [/b]Ladies say they want "bad" guys but the baddest guys are never gonna announce it. They lose nothing and take no prisoners. . .'cos when everything goes kaput, all the loses will be heavily on your side (Women, this is a tip so be careful). All the men you may run after or runs after you will always be jealous of this guy (if they hear what you have done for and with him) but you may think he lost (loser)! He actually makes you think that way. . .it's all part of the game plan.

I give another example of another person (relative) who is way older than me, mixed, although has visited Nigeria before. It was the dad who used to make jokes about it (mind you she is a grandma now herself) before she mentioned some of those things to me. Kids from different men, never married and not married! She was very pretty nonetheless. She went with the "hip" guys, basket ball players, party, etc. She's totally changed now though but time can no longer be reversed!

[quote author=tpia@ link=topic=554294.msg7185131#msg7185131 date=1290296665]^^so if you reach maryland/dc/virginia side you'll faint then.[/quote]Tpia. . .tell me something: Are you (reasonably) sure "fainting" is guaranteed in these places? Next vacation stop. . .or my next couple of days stop-over

^^^ Well said o Wksi! Look, it's the same thing over here, truth be told. But guess what? I have met several black ladies, from Nigeria and other places and they are NOT getting married after years of waiting. While some guys may need papers, it is not everyone that wants a woman to obtain any papers but the shakara they go take you do? You go wish you were in Nigeria where people still have some sort of family values.

I can honestly say that I know some Nigerian girls here and years since after I met them, I have seen them in clubs for hookups (I was there with someone else), I have talked to some as friends or when I was not dating but after all said and done, everyone goes their way. The funny thing is whenever I see any of them (and I can swear to it, although I don't in reality), they look totally different (you know what I mean, no offense)! Some were really pretty then and they were practically waiting for the "perfect" man to show-up while walking away from all the people in normal life. You see them and while some of them may even be older than you, how will they feel when they see younger guys and older guys bypass them and marry someone else (most likely younger) and they are looking old and fat while you are even looking younger??

Ikamefa. . .please, please I'm not gonna die before my time! Arizona of ALL places? Okay tell me why?

BTW, I know the US in my own way, so it's not that I am stuck somewhere. But give reasons to move there, if you will, . . .it will be nice.

This is how women end-up with countless ex-boyfriends and then find it so difficult to find a man to marry them in the end! Sowing wild-oats is not a woman's job!

Guys. . .this is a VERY good thread to discuss and I've been considering doing the same thing in more detail as I think I did a thread like this in the past but not down to the statistics you gave. Guys, you won't believe my experience on my way from Nigeria flying through the US with a REALLY fantastic babe but the thing get as he be on the long run!

I think I will be moving to the US fully soon as I finish my present goal. Abeg, where can I be assured a solid combination of a VERY good job (with lots of money, never worry if I'm qualified enough), not too much guns ringing all the time and a LOT of BEAUTIFUL black girls? Abeg, the less the snow the better. . . Any ideas?

Ha. . .my friend, welcome to the party! 

Tpia. . .I know you KNOW NL like the back of your palm BUT please this one is different! Yes, we both have some sense of humor but please, I am not joking with this one at all. I beg you. . .don't take this one as a joke or from the other thread. NOT AT ALL. (Note that my emphasis are deliberate, hence the capitalization).

If not for what this forum is, I would have shown you pictures and if they were your friends, you would have secretly talked to them. Anyone can date anyone and move anywhere but remember "big" solutions to "big" problems start small. Please do not think I am joking. . .I can't understand how ALL (the ones I saw) got that big and without kids. With kids, yes I may even understand. E.g. I have a cousin who we were very close then and on a scale of 10, she would be ~9. Of course marriage, kids and the usual marital issues, today she looks really different like I described but hers may be understandable. I know you are not in Nigeria but how can we help ourselves??

I have Facebook but I'm one of the worst FB customers as I rarely go there or even have enough time. Recently, I have decided to get friendlier with FB and visit it more often.

So, why am I making this post? Well, I saw one of my friend's latest pictures and there was this girl then (who I knew back in Ife) in one of the pictures? Guess what? She is now very FAT! Look, jokes apart, this was one of the most beautiful girls that you would find in Ife then among the hordes of beautiful chicks! I have seen her recent pictures in which she already looked plump but those were still good. Now she is VEERRRYY FAT and has a BIG FAT tummy under her gown ! Please, what is happening in Nigeria? What is happening at home, can someone tell me?

Okay, hasty generalizations are a bad idea and I decided to look for some other ladies in my class and found a couple! Oluwa oooo! They're all now very FAT. . . it is unbelievable. These were above average chicks in the looks department but what is happening? To make matters worse, they are NOT married yet? Can someone tell me what is happening in Nigeria?

Me that I should and deserve to have gotten fat, I have not gotten fat like that! In fact, someone I hadn't seen in a while asked me what happened or what I'm using?I am not using anything! How can we stop this trend before everyone gets too FAT in Nigeria like America? If you are in Nigeria, I encourage you to share these tips with your fellow friends. It's good to have some junk in the trunk but big stomachs, neck, waist (muffin tops) is not healthy and a very bad idea!

Dyt:
Cybaer g

Hahahahahah. . .Dyt! You cracked me up seriously?  Wassup?

Tpia. . .well, you seem to ignore that all the guy is doing is literally forcing himself on this woman. She has assumed the classic and most simple body language. . .that of "defence". She is not willingly accepting the guy and see how she ignores him in the other picture. , but loo, whatever really. Did you read some of the comments on the page?

The other woman is NOT happy and I can reasonably guess that they are no longer together and the guy was probably trying to get with her at the time they took the picture. Never underestimate the fact that if a guy wants to sleep with a girl, a thousand hugs, kisses and pictures mean nothing! The end justifies the means and I hope you can see this for what it is. Goodnight!

Tpia. . .it's nice that you were able to come up with some more data to flesh out this issue. Bear with me. . .but look at these two pictures (from that site):

https://www.chinasmack.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/shanghai-metro-black-chinese-couple-01-560x746.jpg

https://www.chinasmack.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/shanghai-metro-black-chinese-couple-03-560x746.jpg

1. What does the woman communicate in these two pictures with her body language? That is a very bad sign for any guy trying to approach any girl with this type of body language and I will spare you the details. I am sure you know what I am talking about and a lot of people can figure it out.

2. Scan through the comments from people on that site. Most of them are comments from Chinese posters if not all. What theme is common to all posts? Racism. Getting her down on her knees. How she will take it from behind. Her bodily features. Etc.

Any man mention things like these even on NL and the hordes of feminist will descend like termites from Igbo Ora on such an unfortunate poster. Let anyone move to China for them people but let them spare us the details of their misadventure.

Okay thank you for your good advise and in the process take away my fundamental human right! I think "Pause" button is the solution though.

Ileke. . .see, I use another post to reply you now and the numbers increase again!

I think there should an option to decrement the post counter or pause it. What do you think?

Ileke. . .does it matter when the post was made? I am just asking that can the counter be paused? Not everyone wants to have thousands of posts.  Kai. . .the counter will increase one more time as soon as I press the button!

^^ In fact, it's good to do this one you mentioned too!

^^^ Tpia. . .even fear itself fears me! Wetin I go fear for? I have friends who are Asians and I have a good Chinese friend, so they are not alien to me. Even my friend talks to me and he's a guy! These guys will "use" a girl and dump. . .did anyone say marr. . .??

Hold their own. . .how do you mean? You mean education, smarts or money? Well, I've been in class with them, on the same research group. . .and they are just humans! We (Black, White or Chinese) just get our results, present it and move on. Anyone who works hard enough will be very fine regardless so we all hold our own. How many Chinese "collaborate" on assignments that are supposed to be individual work and come out with high grades? Many. . .many! But if you can't hear their language, who would know?

Look, let anyone who wants to move to Asia to get a Chinese guy go very fast! Perhaps, we can depopulate Nigeria somehow. Only if they don't find a real fix for their problem, soon all the kids all the women will give birth to in almost every part of the world will be shipped to China to satisfy the Chinese men who don't want to give birth to women!

NL, please help me. . .my number of posts is now almost 1000 (for freaking 0's!) . Don't laugh at me if you already have 5 zeros and I know there are people like that here!

OMG. . .the scary part is I started off as a politics poster but after Nigerian politics tire me, stressed me out, na only Romance section I have been posting on since. Can NL hold the message counter in place for a while, please? 

Moderators: My posting is too much in Romance these days, hence I thought it is better to post here rather than Politics. If there is a better place, please move it. I just had to get this off my mind!

Tpia. . .no, I am as calm as a sheep (is that even a correct simile??)

But you know, practically, and I know you live somewhere in America or so: If Chinese men who live in a foreign country and have had opportunities to be re-configured CANNOT change, is it the ones that have been shackled with 1 Billion tonne chains that will "move"? Before I finish typing this short post, another person in that billion+ has been indoctrinated and shackled. Who will save them? Is it the posts on NL? How many foreign sites does China block again?

Viva, you are right but remember there are corollaries to almost any rule, so yes! However, I cannot state all the corollaries as I don type tire o. Hopefully, some other people can further qualify some of my points with corollaries but this thing I put-up there really works.

Try it and a trial will convince you and not confuse you!

I am VERY sorry but my guy, no dull yourself o. Count your costs properly before you take the bait hook, line and sinker! Put on the line only that which you can afford to LOSE, just like a lottery! You know that thing they call kalo-kalo in Nigeria?

Know why? If you mugulize yourself, your money is lost, time lost, effort lost, other "opportunities" lost, what is your insurance policy?? Especially if it is those kind of girls who are haughty, arrogant, care only about their external looks, flashy things, always on FB looking for their next hook-up or backup? They care not about the things that make a real man: brains, character, being responsibility, etc. . .when yawa gas she go carry her pepeye go town o. Guy, you go hear weeeeeeeeeeeennnnnnn! So, now that you hold all the aces, be sure you bang her silly, I mean really silly each time you do the do. In fact, be sure you have some pictures which you share between yourself to keep the memories alive. If you are not a bottom sucker and have your own money like you claim, this is your biggest insurance policy. If not, when yawa gas, she will call you "loser" anytime she wants to address you.

Look, I am not crazy but love in the heart only these days is a one-way ticket to "hell". Just check enough threads here on "Romance" section!