₦airaland Forum

pickabeau1:
The older generation kept a lot of their conflicts under wraps

I never saw my parents argue

I'm sure they did

Unlike those who nowadays argue in front of their kids

My point is this

The best person to review a marriage is still the spouse and not kids



Yes this is also true
However someone starting out is more inclined to be flexible unlike someone who has a kid level position

Good points

Children are perceptive very perceptive. even if they do not argue if front of their children children can see if their parents have a good relationship. Your point is I can't say they did not have conflict and my own point I can say that they had conflicts (you know I like to be real) but those conflicts were not as a direct result of the age difference. Those conflicts would have arisen even if there was a 20 year age gap.

As for someone starting out , a couple closer in age are often both just starting out and so would both need more resources in starting and sustaining a family. So all this flexibility talk is not really applicable. I don't know alot of couples close in age where the wife can afford(note the word afford) to take a career break to tend to family.

I need to go to bed, this NL is bad for my health joor.

Nice one opella

Day 19 level 2 .. These walking push ups wan kill me o

pickabeau1:
My condolences I was not aware
May he RIP

My post was linked to your statement about husbandry which a child will not have the best information on
That information is best given by the spouse

On the optimal age range. You may find out he may have a different opinion of it asked him about it later in life

A family I know the man said he may have married a younger lady because the career decisions had to made immediately on his wife's case unlike if she was slightly younger

A woman far advanced career wise is not as flexible to focus on family

Do you get?

A child is able to view the parents marriage from a very proximate view. Dare say I that part of a child's early views on marriage can be formed from viewing the relationship bee tween their parents. So yeah I can't speak for my dad but I can say that the age diffrence would not be an overriding factor on which my dad would have judged his wife against her other redeeming qualities.now I am not saying they did not have differences but I did not think the age difference made her respect him any less or would have been the main thing he could change.

As for career, that sef too is even subjective because for me sef a woman who is settled in her career has the resources to be a bit more flexible in prioritising work life/balance . A younger woman who might have just been starting out in career and then giving that up along the line for family might have some resentment at what might have been if she did not have to sacrifice her career for her family. Majority of the women I know who took career breaks to tend to family are women who are a bit more stablished career wise.

TV01:
E we so !

No

Sometimes it's by degrees, think of it relatively; would a man prefer a perectly behaved wife without the physical intimacy he wants, or a wife with a little drama, a few character flaws but awesome in the sack? think I know what most men would choose.


Regards to hubby - sharp dude, can't wait to meet him ! Funnily enough, my dad was just over 2 years older than my mum - and she tried. He was her first and only love.

I've given a general rule of thumb. At least it's a starting point for men and they can factor accordingly.


It's not, it's a totally different - and important - consideration in it's own right. You buy a car, you consider, the cost, consumption and capacity. Even if there is a hierarchy, they are all important. I think age differentials speak to a number of things, although I honed in on intimacy here, 'cos I'm hearing a lot of that.

For me personally, character was paramount. But I didn't focus out everything else. Till today I tease my wife about how it was when she knelt to pick something up in her fishtail dress that I caught an eyeful and said "ye, today na today" . I had been studying her from afar exactly to discern her character.


TV

I don't disagree with people having differently preferences because I even know loads of women who say they would find it difficult to marry/respect a man who was the same age. And some who say a 10 year age gap is too wide and it would feel like they were married to their uncle.

However like so many others have said I think it's down to the individual. And finding that person who complements you and who you can tolerate to a certain extent. To put a blanket figure of '7 to 12' age differential just feels a bit specific to me. I know a couple with a 1 to 2 year age differential and they both got married late . Now I don't live with them and know the intricacies of their home but based on what I see the way the woman 'carries' her husband I must say I no near am even with higher age gap.

Anytime my mum visits she is always telling me off on how I serve(or rather do not ) serve my husband food. I cook and put in the fridge and when he comes he takes his food and warms it up himself. Sometimes if he is home I dish it but with minimal fuss.Sometimes sef he makes the food and dishes mine. She can't wrap her head round it because to her part of respecting your husband is how you serve him his food.you know the whole set the table and go and call him that food is ready

I just think different relationships have different dynamics and I don't think a man going 'younger ' will necessarily always be the best starting point for getting the best outcomes in a wife. I agree though that it could be a preference for some.

pickabeau1:
The best person to ask is your dad how his perception of wifes age would be knowing what he knows now....

Not you

Unfortunately he is not with us anymore so I guess you have to take my word for it

I don't get what you are implying by 'what he knows now' are you insinuating that a younger woman might have made a better wife for him than my mum was?

TV01 my only question is ( you know me its ijebu I understand abeg sofry on the big big grammar ) are you saying that a younger wife for a man is more a consideration( I know you have given other considerations) than the actual character of the person in question? Now this not to hold brief for anyone but just wondering why the age factor is more an issue than the actual character of the person? A good person is a good person ( I think) regardless of their age and so if my brother finds a woman who is good woman who is 2 years younger he should disqualify her as a suitable mate because a suitable mate would be more in the 7 to 12 year age difference?

I am not asking defensively or anything cos my husband is almost 10 years older than I am while my mum and dad were in essence age mates( less than 2 year age difference) as they had been courting since their A levels. and I feel my father was a good man( I am biased I know).And my mother a good wife to him.

I just want to know how age is a factor in the character judgement of any individual.

edwife:
See wayo,just like chilli-she will call and start counting herself....

Dami who you help?

when you were busy writing epistle LOL

edwife when did you start writing epistles on NL

Oya tearoses and edwife come o I give una till 9.15

naijababe:
Damiso, next time I am withdrawing my make up tips

Tearoses, how do you cook your moinmoin and akara before? I not only add raw eggs, I whisk with a balloon whisk too before steaming/ frying. I dunno about the milk part though, I will try with coconut milk.

No vex naa...

Moca keep forgetting .. Hello how are you and the lil one? Hope you are feeling much better now? Kisses and hugs to you and the lil ones

edwife:
Great idea,but i chose to go sightseeing.London has so many attractions that i am planning on visiting few of them.No visitors in this time around-need my peace and quiet.

Indeed so many sights that tourists get to see but we thst live in the city don't get to see.

Ewuro4:
I know eh, You too? Us too but you know kids esp older ones will whine about it. Deep down inside, I think the best vacation is in the comfort of your own home, no work, just sleep, eat, no rush to shower, watch movies/TV shows as you like for 2wks max
Supposed to be in San Francisco all July but something came up and had to cancel. So I came up with an idea; invited different family over for few days each, never been a dull moment in our house kids are having the 'best time of their lives' (their words)

@bolded and add to that no whiny 'mummy' for at least 2 or 3 days (funny enough I say that but by Day 2 I think the house is too quiet and start missing them).

Tearoses, ewuro4 and edwife no vex jare

Sambarry not my kids alone I was helping the bride co ordinate the littke flower gals and page boys as all the older ones no get their time used that opportunity to keep an eye on my daughter who was one of them.

@packing chivita and can coke .you are a case aswear.

SAMBARRY:
ok 5,000 naira nko

you are reminding of my mum.i am sure meat sellers gave her plenty abuses in their minds over time. Dat na how she dey price meat first step is to slash the price into two (you are worse sef you slashed into 3 ).

naijababe:
Na you biko...............I went parrying on Friday, woke super late on Saturday. Took Sunday off par usual and woke late today too and I can't bring myself to exercise in the evening

My spirit cannot give up now o, Damiso, my mouth is watering. I don't really feel guilty about the odd infraction.....my stomach seems to have shrunk and I probably would not finish the portion in your pic.

Me too when she brought it I said haa me I can't eat all this so she ate with me.. but even at that I had a few spoonfuls and just gave up, the puff puff had filled me up.

cococandy:
I want to eat that.
Whatever that is. How does it taste? Like stew?

Yes its like stew but made with green peppers.

Efemenaxy thank God for those wits o. me sef I have my dog antennae out so I can sense them and cross but these ones just came out of nowhere hian


Day 18 done and 1st day of level 2 done.

This queen 47 is another fitness winch as I was doing my cool down I was thinking to myself so someone did this immediately after the level :o1 my arms are tingling. I enjoyed it though..I actually enjoyed doing the plank jacks but struggled a bit at the walking push ups.
Oh well tomorrow is another day.

I think my scale has mental issues .. or maybe puff puff added 1.5 kg over night

Lost 3 inches around the waist though and my work trousers this morning were like harem pants so not going to fixate or get depressed over the scale.
.

Efemenaxy how do you deal with those annoying people walking dogs during your runs?

I think am going to avoid parks from now on cos I almost ran into humongous terrifying looking dogs not on leashes Twice last week.

My husband says am a scaredy cat but me and dogs I don't know are not friends

So am not the only one with lethargy setting in ..

Still on day 17 and not returned to JM since Friday ..
Been running and jogging though and was able to clock about 50 km last week( I think it's about 35 km actually don't trust those apps)

Will move to level 2 this evening .. Woke up mega late this morning

Naija parties ehn and healthy eating are like poles apart. Let me report myself small sha Now I know God is delivering me small small I was quite busy with the children and eventually sat down to eat like 5pm my friend got me rice and ayamase and I told her Lai Lai can't eat all that she said I will eat with you . The oil was just making my tummy queasy I gave up after a couple of spoons I had puff puff sha managed it with water through out .you know puff puff is do filling but gosh I felt guilty through out.

I need to return to JM sharply I can feel the 5/6 puff puff(yes that many ) in my hips

SAMBARRY:
Really. Hiannn I'm surprised to hear that one o because all the ones they bring to nigeria are the ones their parents cannot control and they dump them into one village private university until they simmer and they suck out all the Oyinbo mentality away from them

Itss a stereotype. there are loads of children brought up here who are very well mannered. I know ones that kneel down Join sef.

sometimes going to dump a child in Nigeria is not the solution( though I agree that some children are hard work). Its just inculcating good values from a young age. Not get to 13 when they are already EGUN EJA and start shouting.

that said there are some problematic and naturally rebellious children its just God that can give parents the wisdom to know how to handle them. And you have those kinds of children everywhere even in Nigeria.

SAMBARRY:
Ahannn 14, 000naira like kilode.e no gree 4,000naira jale ni?

kimoni and this gal is saying she is not ijebu LOL.

Ko gba oooooo

cococandy:
asa

That's Igbo for fine woman.

Thank you dear

cococandy:
I was here when we were buying the lace and gele for this owanbe.

It ain't fair

ok coco fastest fingers I give you 2 mins I need to go to bed y'all

cococandy:
where the picture na?

Ewuro4:
These pcsures yall sharin

Kimoni:
350 avg

Thank you jare

So that will be N14,000 sambarry

At the moment though not shipping to naija .. I have too much gbese out there

SAMBARRY:
she really did a good job

She did ..
And she is a very respectful gal. All those stereotypes of kids born and brought up here don't apply to her at all (to be honest i know soooo many respectful naija Brit youngsters). Her 'Aunty ' sef dey make me feel old.

Also well educated she is starting her masters in September

SAMBARRY:
how much did she collect for the gele and make up?

£30 o se emi price

She normally charges £60 . She did not even want to collect money from me coz I have given her many customers but I insisted that she use it to buy fuel for her car.

RoyalRoy:
[color=#000033] Pretty Dami.....lollz.

Make up was on point....very nice.
[/color]

Uncle Roy sef don see dami

Thank you..

SAMBARRY:
how much is the clutch bag?

I don't know the exchange rate today but it's £40.

The ones I sell are similar but this one is Carvela so slightly more expensive

SAMBARRY:
damiso is a bitiful woman. The make up earing and clutch gele makeup just simple and classic



who's the other lady?

Awwwww thank you

My friend .. The make up artist did her make up too the picture was one of hers she sent to me.

SAMBARRY:
Chaiii the clutch bag tho . come and dash me



the whole packaging is just 100 percent


who na tie the gele and did the makeup

@ the clutch bag I dey sell am you wan buy I also sell the earring two people ordered yesterday sef

The lady is my church member .. Up and coming so still affordable.