₦airaland Forum

ibrokola:
Uwww. I think I like your Dad.

Thank you

tearoses:
Thanks R231

Damiso, Moca & Edwife, and everyone else who wants to donate, Tehn are taking donations.

Thank you all very much. God bless you.

Paypal - ehelpersnetwork@gmail.com

Thank you for the info

If you don't employ a mature maid so as not to tempt your husband, are you also going to sack all the female colleagues your husband will most likely have a one to one contact with everyday in the course of working ? Most people spend far more active hours at work than in the house so what is one going to go about that one? Those ones will even look hawt,with Brazilian hair and smelling on point. And if you want to add the food part some don't mind cooking or getting lunch with him?abi is it not on NL that a lady was 'feeling sorry ' for her boss as his wife was not 'taking care of him'?

All these excuses for under age labour.if you want to go the 'helping pay the child's school fees' route there is no law that says they have to serve you as well leave them with their parents while you carry out your 'charitable ' work .If you also want to go down the 'paying for a service ' route just pay an adult a living wage.

OP is right on one thing though ,a maid is a human being too and I don't get why they should be seen as sub human just because you employ them?

We need to change our mindset on how we treat maids,nannies,drivers,security men and most domestic workers.

cococandy:
So what seasoning did you use?

Only salt?

Yes just salt and dried thyme.

ambient:
My dear easy Na you I'm vex pass, he just asked a question.

I easy o..



Na the 'Dark skin ' get me

PRISTINEMUSCLES:
Hi ladies, i just stumbled on this thread and i have been reading you guys posts. I must say that i am very happy that you are going the extra mile to look fit. Kudos to you guys.
There is one thing that i am going to point out here. Please and please throw away that scale you are using to measure your body weight. The scale is very deceptive rather concentrate on using parameters such as dress-size, love-handles, toned abdomen, waist-size, toness of the arms and thighs, size of the cheeks, to determine fat-loss.
Do you know that when you are exercising there is a tendency to increase in weight and this increase is usually due to muscle-mass.
For me i weigh 90kg and i don't look it. The bulk of my weight is lean muscle-mass. If i want to determine whether my body-fat level is increasing, i simply check my waist-size(usually 28 inches), my abs, my jawline, my overall muscle-toness.
Once again welldone gals

Thank you. And welcome.

Idowuogbo:
No b lie...my dad always had me in an headlock position to help iya ibeji balance the harlem shaking my entire body was doing in between her thighs. It was that bad. Kai! Dem suffer me no be small... Infact,social service must hear my story it's my fault tho...i too chop kpanti.

me na all the security for hospital dem go call before I take one injection when my dad was not there. Cos my mum and the nurse no get the power wey I get. I remember there was a time I escaped out of the hospital sef. I still hate needles till today thank God one rarely gets injections for common ailments in the UK.

God has paid me back in my own coins cos my children are like that too and I dread nothing more than having to administer all those 4 hourly doses when they are poorly.

Awww I can so feel the poor boy. But its for his own good. Getting the neighbours to help is a good idea.

Like Edwife I want to know when funds would be required..

I have the old TEHN PayPal account details is that still valid? or is there a new method of payments.

Just to say God bless you to all those who have taken it upon themselves to spare the time, know how and resources to help this little boy and his family. You are indeed a blessing. Tomiwa is also my sons second name so a kind of soft spot for the lil boy already.

Let me redirect this thread


Make una help me thank God o ,He is helping me conquer maggi/knorr . I am trying to also reduce salt intake and decided ok let's cut maggi out.
Even made stew with no maggi.
My taste buds are getting used to it


Caveat though: Jollof rice is not Jollof rice without maggi so can't cut it out there

Lunch:wholemeal Cous Cous chicken and veg

OP the 'dark skin' tone of the question is inferring that the darker skinned children are inferior( I am a darky so I am quite touchy on the dark skin stereotype don't mind me)

I hope the person who took the picture is not the parent of the child in the chair because if it is I SMH for them.

Some people and the need to feel superior to others not as fortunate as they are.

Its all relative sha because if the weather is extremely hot,those other children are actually more comfortable. I could never understand wearing heavy boots in the heat.


If wishes were horses beggars would ride but I just really wish that the world would be a place where ALL children are at least given the basic necessities of life. It will start when people start having the no of children that they can afford or cater for.

Oh well

bellong:
Shoes, bags, weave-on and lipsticks...

Remains lingerie talk.. Christian Deola and co

Idowuogbo:
Kai! Your husy na oga twin brother....only difference is..... my oga don graduate from sneakers to baba alaye status.Me I dey do competition with am now....for every baba alaye shoe he buys....he must sew complete owanbe for me plus aso oke. Fair deal right?

Very fair

Idowuogbo:
Lolz...me sef dey use KG and Carvela pa ironu re.Carvela's and Biba's designs are similar to his.These cats gats the sex appeal. I bought one of Mk's sneakers last week,i know I will hear sermon when Oga see am.he'll be like 'you got all these shoes and you don't even freaking wear them. Funny enough, he's worse but I dare not argue it.

Don't mind them ..my husband will say ko sa ma ra bata joo (sha just be collecting shoes) meanwhile I can't count the amount of sneakers he has.I honestly think he has more shoes than me it's just that they look like the same style while me I have different colours

Yeah I love Carvela and since money Neva reash CL and JC make person just manage the one wey money reash

I am something else JM just dey fear me this days as I really don't want to relent on level 2
Used some other fitness videos (fitness blender) 20 mins metabolism HIIT and I did have a good burn but not as intense as JM as you have breaks in between.

You only have to make sure you incorporate warm up and cool downs yourself.

Moca that scenery is gorgeous.

Wey the pishure naa?

Idowuogbo:
I loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Christian Louboutin!!! Damn! He's so weird and crazy!! He's definetly worth the pounds sterling. when I grow up,i must have a closet/showroom full of Louboubous!!! AMEN!!

Edwife,naijababe,damiso, tearoses etc... are you guys watching his documentary on channel 4? Christian Louboutin : The world's most luxurious shoes. Mehn the shoe game is giving me that wet feeling I swear

;DMe sef love Christian lobatan but I dey pray make I grow up in the cheddar game so I can afford it for now Na to dey manage Kurt geiger and the likes ni o If not for pikins sha

I saw the preview in Metro and thought I will watch it but it just totally skipped my mind will catch up on 4OD.

SAMBARRY:
Ewuro damiso etc I finally got hold of the movie inufufu it was very interesting and funny especially the cat fight between husband and wife and the malice keeping but there were obvious lies that cannot happen

1.daughter in law slapped her mother in law and though she begged her relationship with her mil was still cordial. Haba which kain boboing is that.infact in reality after that singular act the relationship between husband and wife and mil will never be the same. Then the height of it was where the mil was even begging her son on behalf of his wife after the incidence I was like ahannnn this lie is too much na.here in Nigeria in a typical naija setting not oyinbo mil

2.the husband was busy s+raffing his secretary and loose girls all over his office and not for one day did he catch him in one of his sexcapades in the office. Not even suspicious feelings from the wife

but in all it was funny and worth my time

Na film naa dey must to add maggi and salt naa not seen it but I don line up series and nollywood marathon for my next days off.

tearoses:
Racism is a topic that is really too deep to discuss
Its everywhere; even back home in Nigeria even though its a different flavour (tribalism)

Its more pronounced in the US because damage can be instant and permanent due to guns and we hear about it everyday

There is racism here too but its not as widely reported and seen in the US.

I tell my son to work hard as he may come accross subtle undertones of racism in his life here (its against the law to do it openly) but I told him that there will come a point where even the most racist wont be able to do anything because he will be so good at what he does.
In that same America I heard that there is a Nigerian Major General in the US marines.

If you ask me, the society owes half and the individual owes half too. We cant sit at home and cry racism. We need to get out there, go to school, better ourselves and work hard and be good at what we do. We also need to integrate and follow the rules wherever we find ourselves.

[b][

Very well said Tearoses. I am/ will try to inculcate that spirit of excellence in my children as well as try within what I can afford to help them reach their full potentials.

However I think the dynamics and issues for the African American ( black immigrants and generally other immigrant ethnic minorities are not included) is deeper and one that has to be systemically dealt with over generations. Sometimes we forget that there was still a need for the Civil Rights movement less than 100 years ago.

Its easy for me as an immigrant to say 'When they don't go to school ' ' When their values are not family centric' ' Well they are mostly always aggressive and often do engage in criminal activity' ' Are Obama and Ben Carson not black?' but I think I cant really understand the struggle from the POV as I have never been in their shoes.

I have this argument a lot with Hubby cos he thinks a lot of people have victim mentality and don't help themselves and so don't deserve empathy. He says who has not had a hard life? So please abeg we all just do what we have to do and keep our noses clean. And my answer to him is its easy for you to say as you have not been in their shoes.

Equal opportunity and access for all humans no matter how much it is touted in the west is simply not still fully achieved. We can strive for it and put legislation in place that will help but sadly legislation cant influence certain extraneous factors that already give certain individuals an advantage.

There is a reason why only 3% of UK pupils attend fee paying or selective schools meanwhile they make up 80% of the Highest paid individuals. I think if you look at the US as well it will be the same for those who attend Ivy league schools. And who are the higher percentage of those who attend Ivy league schools?( I do know you can achieve it by merit but lets look at percentage)

I watched a documentary on BBC 2 ' Britains Forgotten Slave Owners' and it really shed a new light for me on some of these issues.

Its just too complex an issue to analyse and discuss jare.

bukatyne:
Well it depends on What you want out of life and people's perspectives about a 'good' Nigerian husband.

I have heard, Nigerian men under metamorphosis when they move back to Nigeria So Perhaps it is best not to hook up a guy there.

And the way they chant submission, twa

I agree some did not look while leaping and please a wonderful Nigerian father/friend/brother/cousin might not be a good Nigerian husband.

Also, some pretended during courtship... true.

And as usual, I am glad I didn't marry a 'Nigerian' husband nor married one who worships the 'Nigerian' god

Cc: Kimoni; damiso; bellong; cococandy

Ok o madam Buka I no get energy for epistle today. I sha wanted to point out that good/not good husbands/men/ people etc. is not just a Nigerian issue. Vices are not exclusively Nigerian.

And I referenced Fathers in that thread because the comment I quoted was talking about how ALL or most Nigerian fathers viewed or regarded their daughters less and had no ambitions but the kitchen for them.

You are however right that a good spouse( husband/wife) is a subjective term and is best described on an individual level. What makes a good spouse to A is different to what makes a good spouse for B.

Location metamorphosis also happens for females too se you know. There are women who were washing their MIL/SIL/BIL clothes as 'submissive' wife in Nigeria just so they can join their husbands abroad and as soon as they got to that abroad would BAN those same people from the house. If the husband talk one they have talked twenty because they know that they can throw him out. Though for some of the men ,it serves them right, na the thing dem dey look for their eyes have seen.


Wo lets just leave it jare. Like I said our experiences shape our perceptions so maybe I am naïve to believe that not ALL/MOST Nigerian men ( note I am not denying that there are bad ones) are BAD husbands and a good husband has to be defined as 'Non Nigerian'. There are loads of horrible non Nigerian men. One of the worst domestic violence cases I have watched was a true life story adapted to a movie and the man was British. Even my husband was emotional at the end of the movie.

Phew I have typed epistle after I said I wont LOL.

Abeg all these people that do 7 day smoothie challenge how una dey so am? Me I am hungry o.

cococandy:
like seriously.

I will even divorce him after. Because if it were me, he will still let me die so that nobody will touch me during rescuing. I couldn't bear to look at such a man and call him husband again. Tufia.

You are right one is meant not hate but the fact that my child died because of the mans intentional stupidity would mean its better we are separated so I don't go and poison him one day.

Kimoni:
damisoooooo no, no, not Damiso....can't be
Pls who hacked into damiso's system?? Pls identify yourself

I say Oloshious somebori now .. make I go look for posts where I have said it ni?

Its just that child neglect/cruety ( I know she was 20 but this was still their child) cases makes my blood boil..poor girl that had her whole life in front of her just had to die because her father's belief. Who even told him she will remain a muslim sef? Like Jehovahs witnesses who refuse blood transfusion for their children. Refuse blood transfusion for yourself as you can be allowed to have your own beliefs but who says that child will always be a JW?

I try to respect people's religious beliefs but I believe faith is personal and my child might not share my faith when they are able to reason for themselves( I hope they do but my parents had to deal with me converting so I would be a hypocrite to force my child).

cococandy:
I blame the rescue people, couldn't one or two of them have overpowered him while the others did their job?

See mental case. Some people take this their religious things too seriously.
Ediot fellow.

I cant believe the mother of the child( his wife) was there.. if it was my child I wont need people to overpower nothing by the time I decorate him with my teeth and nails he wont have time to stop the rescuers.

Idowuogbo:
E ma gba mi ke..... i say make i do amebo small with today's metro oo....this man well so? Smh!

Cc damiso
Tearoses
Edwife
Kimoni
Naijababe
Cococandy

Me sef read am and I was shaking my head..

The guy has serious issues. You would rather let your child die...

I just cant deal seriously if I was the mother and I was there when he said it na riot police dem go use carry me away from the scene because the kind display I go display for hin body ehn. Oloshious somebori

babygirlfl:
@ damiso, Generalising is almost not the best way to get points across.Much as it is not the best way to get a point across, it is not also best to use our family or people we know as a way to come to a conclusion. Just because something is not happening with people you know does not mean that it is not happening or that those it's happening to should not speak up. If something terrible is happening to some people, it is important that people that are not experiencing it shows some empathy and see how we can put a stop to it happening. We don't have to wait for most people to experience it before doing something about it.

But those men and people I spoke about are Nigerian men,No?

Because some comments like 'the only 2 sane men I have met among them are my brothers' are also people known to Onegai.Which I am not discounting.

I never said it was not happening as you see I agreed that there are sexist Nigerian men, I have experienced my own share of sexism from both Nigerian and Non Nigerian men.

My point was to say ALL( even Most) Nigerian men think their daughters are less than their sons,think their daughters will end up in the kitchen, beat and abuse their wives, is simply not true.

I think doing something is by highlighting the men who are not like that so that the next generation have role models to look up to. Simply saying all Nigerian men are sexist reinforces it as the norm.

I am not discounting other peoples experiences I am just highlighting the fact that those men being spoken about are not all what Nigerian men are or should be.

Same way I would call out Men who say ' all Nigerian girls are materialistic and will only marry made men' . there are Nigerian girls who are materialistic and will only marry made guys but I know Nigerian girls who are not and did not marry only made men so that makes that statement untrue.

I guess our experiences shape our perceptions so maybe we should not be dismissive of their experiences. I however don't think the generalisation is necessary. The 'Nigerian men I know or have met' will be more suitable to express their views.

I also used to think all or most Western men were more 'progressive' than our men. Now I know better.

Same way you have Nigerian men who expect their wives to do all the chores even though she works is the same way you will find oyinbo men that think the same. One of the worst chauvinist I know was my old director. White middle class guy. His actions one way or the other pointed to the fact that he could not get why mothers with young children wanted to work( his wife was a stay at home mum good for him to think that way when they could afford it).


I even know more Oyinbo stay at home mums than Nigerians so I don't know the Nigerian men who think that her daughter degree will end in the kitchen.

bellong:
Damiso and Kimoni,

I think the ladies lamenting on that thread should have themselves to blame than calling Nigerian men sexist. Prior to marrying such men, they saw all the traits yet they went ahead to marry and are crying foul afterwards.

Their sense of judgement need more questioning than the pathetic rant. If all the males they ever met are sexists, it says more of themselves than the men. Like always begets like.

To pathetically crown the stupidity, two said their daughters will be raised far away from "Nigerian men", yet they are both married to Nigerian men. Is that not idiotic.

Rate at which some ladies bash Nigerian men at every opportunity will make you repent calling Satan the devil. It is as if sexism is the sole prerogative of Nigerian men and there are no sexists in the West.

They are actually the losers in this game.

Kimoni:
I just saw the thread. I feel you but I don't understand it also so I try to rationalize it. I had this big fight with my dad those days cuz he wanted me to be a structural engineer and I told him I preferred chemical engineering. I remember telling him it would be too physical for me and he asked me if he had raised me or sent me to schools that treated me differently from boys

So I try to excuse these people and tell myself that maybe it's because of where I come from where women are not treated differently from men. I don't know all Nigerian cultures but maybe some cultures are not so previledged when it comes to this gender thing. That's about the only rational thing I can think of when i see all these posts.

You have a point maybe its a cultural difference.Or maybe even different social/locational differences.

I was never treated less than my brother and this is just not in our house but with cousins, family friends, etc. My dad would say 'I am not spending all this money on school fees just to be a 'wife'. My sister tells me that she misses dad cos dem no born anyone to be asking 'oko nko' questions when daddy was around. I agree though that he was a bit of a maverick and always questioned norms. You should see him arguing with Alfas on issues( my mum would be giving him daggers from where she was sat).But even at that most of those I grew up with knew that the next thing after school was to pursue a career then marriage came along. Not marriage alone. My mum could not wrap her head round me deciding to stay at home for 2 years.


I have a friend who was dating an older guy and the guy kept pestering her for marriage when she was in 200 level. Her dad chased him away from his office on the first day he went to meet him. The guy sha persisted and her dad said wait till she graduates. After graduation it was wait till she finished NYSC, after NYSC wait till she gets a job.She got a job with GTB and bobo went back to Dad, he said I want her to do her masters first. And this guy worked at Shell( am not telling porkies here) so its not like he was struggling or something and not capable of taking of her financially. His rationale was now they will get married and she will start popping babies and not be able to do her masters again. At this point na delegation dem send o. After much begging sha he agreed but she had actually started the masters by the time they had the wedding.

My dad was very similar and na delegation from other members of my family that they had to send to allow me marry before I did my masters.

bukatyne:
Ladies good morning

Hope yesterday was fun?

Please let's move on to other matters.... and leave Kevin alone. He is just a troll because He was on the boys' thread yarning dust against the same 'mature single ladies' He is asking for advice here.

I just stumbled on a thread 'the angry black woman' by babygirlfl and went through it again.

Just wanted us to debate on the 'perceived racism against blacks' in America.

Perceived because I have not had a first hand experience.

Reference point is the youths killed by white policemen.

So ladies especially in diasopra, do you think/see this institutionalized subtle racism or are other factors involved?

Naijababe; damiso; edwife; cococandy; tearoses; kimoni; babygirlfl; EfemenaXY; Idowuogbo; salsera; etc.

Though a bit better( which I think is partly because the UK is not a gun friendly society and the police don't carry guns) I think there is a subtle institutional racism in most western societies. America's case is more pronounced because of the long and more prominent race relations issues that America has had to grapple with.

Even in the UK a black youth(often male) is more likely to be stopped and searched for suspicious criminal activities by the police especially in Inner City areas where there is a diverse population. Its just the fact. And this does not mean that they are not always guilty as charged but its just that there is a pre conceived guilt as opposed to pre conceived innocence. And like Edwife has said its because there is there is an entrenched stereotype( which is not always false) that black people are more aggressive.

I think the American police need to employ less aggressor type tactics in dealing with black people.People have made comparison with the way Michael Adebolajo and Adebowale( not too sure if I am happy that they are wasting tax payers money in prison sha) were apprehended by Armed police officers after decapitating a soldier's head. I am sure if it was in America they would be dead especially as they were both black. For some odd ( or obvious) reasons similar white psychos seem to always get apprehended alive in America with excuses made for their mental and emotional states.

Kimoni:
Link pls

Its on the all Nigerian men are sexist thread.

My dad was my biggest cheerleader in Life so it kinda hurts( or maybe I should say its baffling) when I read ALL Nigerian men think their daughters are less than their sons.

[quote author=Onegai post=36770748]sorry but I'm doing the same to my daughter as well (even making plans so she doesn't spend her formative years with Nigerians). I've met only 2 relatively sane Nigerian men (both were 2 of my brothers), even my hubby acted "sane" and is now acting like his fellow cave men (I don't know if it's his Naija environment and I have to keep stopping it). My child can't go through this, please carry una "superiority" to "bless" other people's daughters.

You must be submitted to some higher authority as a human being (men and women alike) instead the equation is not balanced and it is very dangerous to bring males up telling them they are demigods and can do no wrong (or are you enjoying the weekly updates of rape cases against babies, girl children and young women and elderly mamas ). Look at our society and tell me how that's working out for us. Corruption and every vice starts from the home, so how am I to get good values if a hypothetical dad beats my mum up, cheats on her with impunity, values his sons over me and is opening his mouth to attempt to teach me "submissiveness" and constantly undermining my efforts ("this degree you are studying, when you marry you won"t work too much because your place is at home (then why waste money sending me to school), "you need to learn how to cook while your brothers watch tv (what are their hands for), etc) what he's teaching is NOT submission, he's telling his child to accept a lower standard of living and not be her best). Then he expects normal adjusted members of society to come from such a home.



I know my experiences are not every one's but where I come from and all the people I have interacted with in my life in NIGERIA a girl getting a degree and not working is actually disheartening and something parents are not very happy about. My dad( God bless his shoul) would say Condolezza Rice is a woman like you your being a woman is not an impediment to you striving for excellence. When I decided to stay home for awhile my mums words were always 'you know your dad had so many high expectations of you'. I also know that me and my sister were never valued less than my brother in short my dad used to be accused of comparing my brother who initially struggled academically to us as we used to get prizes, awards etc.

I know there are sexist men In Nigeria( like all other countries) but haba to say all(or ok most like you have alluded to) see their daughters as lesser beings is over generalising.

I read some things on this forum ehn and I actually think I was raised in an alternate Nigerian Universe.

moca:
Why una no wan born plenty?
Efe get plenty and I love that.
Abi u no like shildren?

Even hubby is saying OYO if anything happen again.
See me see wahala.
I even want twins sef but twin hardly dey born twin.
All d twins wey dey my family just dey drop one one.
Me tire for them o

Moca no be our fault no be everybody strong like Efe esp in this obodo oyinbo wey most things na DIY.

naijababe:
Documenting my journey to fitness to a leaner body. My trouser a year ago and trouser today. ......as damiso told me once you conquer food, the rest is easy.

No be me o Na one of all those numerous Fitness winches from I follow that I got that from. Typical of me to just saturate my brain with nutrition info.

That food struggle is real it's soo hard to stay motivated and today I was craving almond croissant like Kilode.and its your fault will definitely avoid pret like a plague next week


Well done on your journey