₦airaland Forum

ubunja:
How Commitment From Men Creates Orgasms For A Woman.


LET'S START AT THE VERY BEGINNING.
Women control sex. Men control commitment. Because women have the pussy and men have the money.

Women are choosy with the men they sleep with. While men are choosy with the women they commit to.

Men are choosy in commitment because a man's commitment is costly to him in that he bears the financial costs of the relationship so who he commits to is a carefully made decision.

Women, on the other hand, are choosy with who they sleep with because sex carries so many physical, biological, psychological and societal risks for them. Everytime a woman sleeps with a man she risks Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs) which tend to be more aggressive towards women and some of which can destroy her womb, she risks pregnancy which can go wrong if she gets an STI that can pass to her unborn baby, she risks physical harm on her delicate organs from sex with aggressive partners and she also risks dickmatization if the dick proves too good, driving her nuts and messing her up mentally.
A woman also risks socially when she has sex because sex with the wrong men - men who are judgemental and talk too much - will ruin her reputation in her community, church, school or workplace and bring her ratings down as far as marriage is concerned. So who a woman has sex with is a carefully made decision.

WOMEN AND COMMITMENT.
In sex women are invested and they have a lot to lose because their bodies are on the line, but in commitment they are not invested because they don't bring much to the table financially (the table being the relationship or the marriage), hence women initiate the most divorces.

Because they came empty-handed women don't lose anything by walking away anytime. A woman's power in a relationship is that she can walk away anytime, because she's not invested the way men are.

No matter how irresponsible and careless a married woman is, she's never the one who has to watch her life savings go down the drain as the marriage breaks down. It's the men who invest their life savings into a marriage. It's them who lose the most when relationships break down.

Most often men are irreversibly ruined financially by a divorce while a woman can simple marry another man.

MEN AND SEX.
When a man and a woman start a relationship all the financial costs, by default, fall on the man. He's the one expected to pay for the dates, buy the gifts, pay bride price, fund the wedding, organize a home, put food on the table and make sure the woman is provided for. Which means for men relationships costs money. And since a relationship can only happen if a man is committed to a woman, then commitment costs a man money. And because money is something a man works hard for, he has to choose his girlfriend and wife carefully or risk losing it all if he commits to the wrong woman who'll abandon him.

But on the other hand, men are not invested in sex because their money and their bodies are not on the line, and all they stand to lose during sex is some pocket change (since sex is as cheap as a loaf of bread), some sweat and maybe a tablespoon of sperm - hence men screw anything in a skirt and it is virtually impossible to get a man to take contraception seriously because he can't get pregnant no matter how careless he is with sex.

No matter how irresponsible a man is with his dick, he's never the one left carrying a baby. And STIs are generally kinder to men than they're to women. And even if an STI was to be so aggressive as to destroy a man's fertility, a barren man is less a catastrophe than a barren woman.

So men are careless with sex, while women are careless with commitment.

And men are careful with commitment, while women are careful with sex.

WHAT SEX MEANS TO MEN AND WOMEN.
For men sex offers maximum benefits (orgasms are always guaranteed and their bodies don't get ruined) while offering minimum risks - but sex is hard to get for them.

For women sex offers minimum benefits (many don't even orgasm) and maximum risks (pregnancy, disease, bonding issues with future men and it ruins women's bodies) but is easy to get.

Men go through life begging for sex. Women go through life turning down sex.

Men come from a place of sexual scarcity. Women come from a place of sexual abundance.

Men come from a place of sex without fear and without concerns because in sex men are not risking much. But women come from a place of sex filled with anxiety and concerns - due to the risks sex presents to them.

WHAT BLOCKS A WOMAN'S PLEASURE?
Although women get sex easy, the sex act itself is very dis-empowering for them. A woman is powerful out there when she's teasing men with her scanty clothing and tempting attire. But the moment the bedroom door closes behind her and the clothes come off and that dick slides into her pussy, the man has all the power. Never is a woman more vulnerable, more defenseless, more exposed and more overpowered, than when she has a dick buried inside her. Her pussy, heart and mind have all been penetrated and taken captive by the man - someone with so little to lose from the sex.

The man, hardly invested in the sex, controls the sex. The woman, she who has everything to lose, has zero control of the moment. If the man decides against condoms he'll most certainly get his way. If his dick is too big for her hole - too bad, she's going to walk funny and sit funny for the next couple of days. If the woman changes her mind and wants the sex to stop - too late, this train doesn't stop till ejaculation! If the man desires to come inside her, there's nothing to stop him.

When a woman is having sex with a man who doesn't love her and who's not committed to her in any way, she shoulders all the risks of the sex all on her own. Whatever the outcome of the sex - pregnancy or disease - she's on her own. She may use contraception but she knows no contraception is 100%. She may have the option to abort any unwanted pregnancy but most women don't feel okay with murdering unborn babies plus abortions carry their own risks. So whatever safety nets and measures exist to minimize the risk of sex for women they still feel exposed to many dangers.

And so, during the sex, while the man is lost in the bliss of intercourse enjoying the ecstasy of copulation, the woman's mind is restless with worry: "What if something goes wrong?", "What if the condom breaks?", "What if he doesn't pull out?", "What if I get pregnant?", "What if I get sick? Who will help me? Will this guy help me? But he doesn't even love me! Yes he gave me money to fvck me, but if I get a baby or a disease that money is peanuts".

Now, these thoughts are very distracting for a woman. They draw her mind away from the act she's participating in.

Instead of focusing on the action between her legs and savoring the sensations, the woman's mind is all over the place. On things that can go wrong. She's wondering what she'll do if things go sideways. Knowing fully well the man fvcking her won't be there for her should the worst happen.
All this brainwork drains the magic out of the sex. It negatively impacts on the woman's experience. It blocks her pleasure. She's too preoccupied analysing worst case scenarios to mentally relax and enjoy herself. She can't reach the highest highs of pleasure with these worries weighing on her mind. And so the sex ultimately never quite fulfill or satisfy her. Her mind is not present in the moment. She's too worried to enjoy anything. And days and weeks after the sex, she'll still worry about other consequences of the sex that may yet surface.

UNLOCKING A WOMAN'S ORGASMS THROUGH COMMITMENT.
NOW, when a woman is having sex with a man committed to her, who loves and cares for her, who values her and who has abundantly made it clear he is willing to shoulder the risks of sex together with her and has sufficiently invested in her as proof, it reassures her and gives her the confidence to cast her worries to the side. This casting away of worries, this alleviation of concerns, this neutralising of fears, this building of trust and confidence, this relief from anxiety - all this puts a woman in a safe and secure mental space. A good place. A happy place. This mental space, this good place, this happy place, is where a woman's orgasms come from.

The difference between committed, loving sex and uncommitted, casual sex, for a woman, is the STATE OF MIND she's in during the sex which in turn affects the amount of pleasure she can derive from the sex. Committed loving sex yields more pleasure.

Because sex, enjoyable as it is, has the potential to ruin a woman's life in so many ways, it is when a woman fully trusts her man to co-shoulder with her any undesirable outcomes, that sex becomes amazing for her. When a woman fully believes that a man will stand by her in dealing with whatever might happen to her because of the sex, her mind is free to let go of all worries and to focus on actually enjoying the sex - it is then that the orgasms will hit. And they'll hit more and more frequently for her.

When there are safety nets, a woman soars and touches the sky.

Inside a relationship, when it comes to sex, It's not so much the size of a man's dick or his sexual prowess that makes sex amazing for a woman, but it's what the relationship represents to her: security - courtesy of the man's commitment.

Her man's commitment to her enables the woman to cast her cares upon him, freeing her mind to fully partake of the moment.

"MONEY MAKES ME WET".
And it's not just the vanquishing of worries specific to sex that makes sex great for women. Women are historically poor and many struggle financially even though they have a job.
The worries that come with not having enough money - worrying about the bills, about food, about the cost of beauty products, clothing, her future, etc, all these are pleasure blockers in that they keep a woman's mind preoccupied - even during sex.

When a woman is a married virtually ALL these fears are allayed. She's at peace and her mind is free. This is fertile ground for women's orgasms.

Men think safe sex is condoms. And that's true. But for women safe sex goes further than just condoms. It includes financial aspects. Aspects that have NOTHING to do with sex. But aspects that, for women, have an immediate and direct effect on the sex.

And on condoms, if a woman has to use condoms to have sex with you already she views the sex as risky and already her pleasure has been blocked. Women hate condoms. And not because they enjoy less with the rubber on or they're allergic, but because of what the rubber symbolizes: "I don't trust you and we shouldn't be doing this, so let's keep our flesh from touching". Which makes the sex cold, detached, unromantic and mechanical - like sex between a man and a prostitute.
Women don't get joy from this kind of sex because it's not intimate. Because there is no skin to skin touch and no exchange of bodily fluids that build that connection and that bond where two become one.

Safe sex for women is sex where they don't have to use condoms because everything is safe . Sex that is happening at the right time with the right man in the right environment for the right reasons.

A slut who has given sex to many men for many years without getting so much as one orgasm can have her first orgasm in marriage with her VIRGIN HUSBAND. Not because virgin husband has superior skills. But because of the circumstances of the sex. The environment. The reasons. That in turn determine the quality of the sex.

QUANTITY VS QUALITY.
For a woman - as far as sex is concerned - the choice between being a hoe and being in a loving relationship with one man is the choice between QUANTITY and QUALITY. Where hoering offers high quantity sex, but a loving one-man relationship offers high quality sex.

A woman who has chosen sexual quantity is an insatiable black hole that consumes and consumes and can never have enough because unrestrained female sexual appetite is bottomless. Also a woman who, in general, orgasms easily during sex is likely to choose to be a hoe. Because she doesn't need that safe and secure mental space (which a relationship creates) to get the most out of sex.

THE OTHER SIDE OF THE COIN.
But, as with all things sex and romance, men and women live in different realities. Opposing realities. And sex and commitment is yet another area of opposites: while sex with commitment is the best sex for women, sex WITHOUT commitment is the best sex for men.

A man enjoys sex best when he has no regard, no respect and no care for the woman he's screwing. The woman the man holds in high regard whom he respects and cares about, sex with her doesn't quite blow his mind. It's that whole Madonna-Wh0re thing. Where the respected girlfriend or wife is loved but the debased hoe is lusted.


# MGTOW
# TheRedPill

just form a religion u go get followers ... I read ur previous write ups and you are really blessed with knowledge and understanding.

which kind newspaper be this evening

still available .......

Still available ........

I have a suitable self contained for rent within owerri the main capital ... light 24/7 and water . send me a pm if interested ... note : for only female corp members.

Amna1:
So I'm a student of botany(level 2)and I'm doing quite really good as I'm on a g.p of 4.6,so along the line everyone i meet keeps condemning the course like it's not worth it and completely a waste of time....



So i tried retaking jamb,of course to change my course.then i realized starting afresh will make me lose precious years and age is not in my side, it's a health course it'll take me about 6 years, inclusive with ASUU strike around 8 years to complete please nairalanders what do you suggest should i continue with botany and aim for first class or switch to the health profession.





Someone said in nigeria the degree doesn't matter but rather the certificate.

abeg if u get the admission for any medical course pls go ... send me a pm i wud convince you ... my mates in medical college we ain't mate after graduation .
read a professional course ... be like u be unilag student ?

Juanmike:
menopause is fast approaching.and Shiloh 2021 might not hold.

wicked savage ... LOL

Jake19:
Good evening Nairalanders. I am sorry to bother you. I opened this account newly just to seek for your advice as my heart is too heavy now. Me and my boyfriend have been dating since November 2018. We both love each other. He is working and I work too. We do not stay in same place but I visit him every weekend. Recently I found out that he is a little withdrawn from me with his attitude. He rarely pick my calls and rarely call as before. Infact our communication level has dropped. When ever I ask, he gives this excuse of his busy schedule. I have never caught him cheating before and he has not cheated on me either. 3days ago, I received the most heartbreaking call of my life when my friend told me that my boyfriend just engaged someone. I thought she was joking until I saw pictures of my supposed boyfriend on his Instagram page engaging a girl. I have been down and devastated ever since.
This is someone I gave my all to. Someone I supported financially to open a side business. Someone whose siblings I assisted sometimes. Call me names , insult me, because I know I deserve it, but this is someone that made me carried out abortion 2times. How do go about this because I feel really heartbroken as I type. I m losing focus right now even in office.
Please I need your Advice here.
Sorry for my English

hmmm u aborted twice for him ... u terminated two destinies to please ur mumu boyfriend . He don see you finish that's why he dumped you... no need to marry you again .... just move on

slawormiir:
damnnn niggarrrr

Oh lawd....
When a real niggarr heave a sigh of relief and he is about to light up another tie of weed thinking he has seen and heard enough about accidents then boom another shit pops up

can a real niggar do yayo ?

KBORN:
Good evening nairalanders,
This lady i intended to marry and we love each other reasonably.
The father of the lady approved but the mother said over her dead body that she is not in support .The father told me again not to worry.
My girl and her mum attend a white -garment church.So she told me that her mum did not approve because she got a "message" that we cannot marry;that there will not be child between us.Now my girl is pregnant and i wonder how possible.The mum sent her packing to my place and refused to change her mind.What could be happening somewhere that i don't know?
#Advice me.
#nobodyisallknowing

just keep mute concerning the marriage issue ... after delivery send her back to her mum ... that your own prophet saw a vision that the child is not yours.

Meedon:
This life no just worth it. Goodbye friends and romanceranders.


I gbadun you all.


Till we meet in heaven.


How can I suffer like this and I did not enjoy small, there's God.

wia be ur burial venue sir

Ewedegubbler:
I hold a Mauritius passport. Best decision of my life.

how did you get it ... that's my dream Land

iLegendd:
Most of my haters are depressed, so I like giving them something to vent their frustrations on and get some likes and shares to feel better about themselves.

Below are 3 pictures I took this morning for my abusers to have something to talk about.

Oya, 1, 2, 3, go...

LoL this guy I don dey read ur previous post since like sey na Bible ... we share get the mindset ... but not on the same financial strata ... I gat learn many stuffs from you oi ....

missimelda01:
Okay, enjoy alone.

naso ...we no fit kill ourselves ... just be Happy and healthy .

missimelda01:
I hope you’re in Nigeria saying this

ya why won't ... IM A PROUD Nigerian � .
I have looked at all the folks I know abroad there is none Im envying/ look up to .... rather I pity them

missimelda01:
Our president has spoken.
At this point I’m just so weak and heartbroken..Nigeria can never be great
I feel so bad for the people who lost their lives fighting for a better country..may their souls Rest In Peace.

Who needs a buddy? Just take me out of this country

just stay in ur country ... Canada is just overated

missimelda01:

stop laughing I have changed my mind

missimelda01:

stop laughing I have changed my mind

missimelda01:
Gerrout

u have not yet come over to me you are already sounding harsh.

missimelda01:
Our president has spoken.
At this point I’m just so weak and heartbroken..Nigeria can never be great
I feel so bad for the people who lost their lives fighting for a better country..may their souls Rest In Peace.

Who needs a buddy? Just take me out of this country

I'm in Canada ... please just send me recharge card lemme be able to send you my address.

SirMichael1:
I have a tendency of being emotionally absent. Like I could be on now and in the next minute, I'll just switch off like an electric switch and could switch off for days. Then I can be needy, very needy of attention. Also, I have often shown that I am playful, lacking the luxury of seriousness.

naso i be bro ....

UyaiIncomparabl:
It's obvious you are still a kid, hence the constant need for some attention.

I understand the last part. Your bouts of occasional immaturity on this forum have made that evident - countlessly.

Team maturity ... Go use m collect loan for bank ....

[quote author=healthbing post=95199925]Na u dey talk that one o[/qu

healthbing:
Mine is not much.. I love attention and order.. Respect Pampering

healthbing:
Mine is not much.. I love attention and order.. Respect Pampering ;
D

you are an adult you don't need pampering

chai ... hu put buhari for this kind gbege like this

I think sey buhari na ur G ... papa adeboyr

No b konji the worry m ... another unsaid stuff na the issue .... if konji was d issue u for don treat m since regardless of ur belief.

IntersexSherry:
I was into a relationship with a yahoo boy, i didn't know he was into that. I fell so deeply and madly in love with him to the extent no man moves me again except him. I have different men hitting on me, i see lot of handsome guys but still i just can't get my mind off him. I think of him all the time, anytime i'm with a guy, i still think of him. I broke up with him because i don't like the job he does and he refused to stop, i don't consider him a good person. I keep hearing his voice in my head. I just want to forgot all memories with him. I want to be free of him. I have deleted and blocked all his contact but still i think of him.
Please i need to move on with my life and forget this stupid boy. I don't even know why i feel so much attracted to him, he is not even so handsome. I don't just know why.. I have had lot of way handsome guys hitting on me but still i think of him.
I need to be free. He has to leave my head. How do i forget him please And i'm not doing this again with anyone if i finally get free of him. I hate giving my heart this much to people who don't appreciate and toy with it. I was ready to do anything for him. I know how i can get really
addicted to something that really makes me happy. Better to get addicted to drugs than human beings.

the guy might have gone diabolical for you oi ... is not normal ... one nairalander here attested to doing that to his gf that broke up with him .... he said he regrets it because till now the girl is not married and he is married with 2kids

I have a business proposal / only viable around Lagos island or any good location in Abuja ... really lucrative so sad i have to let the idea out . Note only serious investors.
send me a pm

Vanzetti:
I would make this short as possible .I met my girlfriend when I was in my 300 level. I am her first. I met her when she was 18 years old, seeking admission. She is young and beautiful no doubt one of the reasons I'm attracted to her.

She gained admission in unilag because the school I studied in didn't offer the course she wanted. She gained admission that year I met her I had known her for about 8 months already. I was already in my 400 level as she resumed 100 level. We had asexual relationship also ( I deflowered her tho..)

She got pregnant for me when I was in my in my final year in school. It happened as she came back from school, she decided to drop at my place to spend the night. I never knew she was going to that and I was not prepared, if not I could have used protection that night.She called me after like 1 month to tell me she was pregnant. I love this girl so much.
She came to my place begging me not to deny her saying her elder sister also got pregnant for someone but was denied this made her parents mad. Her father had threatened that she must provide who was responsible. I later agreed and I followed her. The father (he is very rich' a senior oil worker) had promised to deal with me if I end up leaving his daughter after my schooling.

He had informed my parents and traveled down tho.. Arrangements were made that I would wife his daughter.
I had doubts that I was the father all those while but I couldn't voice out. On several occasions when I was on my IT in Lagos, this girl would deny me visit after work but prefers to visit me at her own time. My work was not far from yaba o, either she visits me at home or I only come at night claiming she is busy.

Even when I was in school I dont do night calls. Even decline video calls. As per guy wey I be, I sabi say bodi no be firewood cos I was also doing some outings on my own end.
I stay in Lagos too so I understand the rush in unilag especially for year 1 considering her beauty and nice body.

FFWD she gave birth to a girl tho. I just had to accept it but still had my doubts. I could not even tell my mom because she knew of our relationship and might tag me stupid. I had made it in mind after my schooling I would do a DNA test.

I saved some money after service and I could have gotten married this year. I took my daughter which I had already lived secretly to the hospital when I was sick claiming that I wanted her to accompany me. My daughter is already 4 years.
The result came out and she is not mine. I ran the test in another hospital same result. I confronted her and she was in tears, she told me that she was confused and didn't know who the father was, that I was the better option. She had a boyfriend in Unilag who was about 18 years and the sane level with her. She had sex with him before coming back and landed in my place and also had with me. She was ignorant.
Her father threatened her that she most provide the person and there us no where for her to go because I was close by. And she thought u should be the one..she wasn't sure.

The bone of contention here is I already like my daughter and my girlfriend though I'm still very bad. But i have been with her after most if the times after she had given birth. She is in her fathers house.
The father has plans already and I to start work at Mobil in Eket. Following arrangements to marry his daughter he has only two girls and doesn't want them to carry children both without fathers .
I still dont know what to do, should I cancel everything and tell the father? considering the trauma I faced as a students and inconveniences I had while in school.
Will she be a faithful person in future? Will she use it against me?
Do I get her pregnant and speed up with the marriage procedures?
I dont want to regret at the end. My mother won't like it if she knows that the girl is not mine and won't consider her as her grandchild.

Modified: I appreciate your contributions as I am beginning to analyze a lot.

Some friends here and outside has adviced me that I should make it open to the family. If I want to marry her because she left school after pregnancy then I can go ahead and get married to her as someone who gets married to someone with a child already.

She has been on my neck since... She says shee was young and naive that she loves me more. I had been with her all this while. She told me tgat we can have other children also.
I have asked her of the father, she says she doesn't know of his whereabouts anymore. That she never even knew the paternity and thought I'm the one.

My daughter on the other hand loves me so much and my mother likes her a lot.
I still love her tho.. Even tho I had my doubts.
I had already packed to resume work this month.

I'm still confused.

if I'm you bring up this discussion with her and record it oncode before you marry her if not after marriage she fit deny m oi ... just get the employment first before you start solomonizing about other women ... if there wer mistakes and the results showed u wer her father u wud still be living happily with a lie ... so bro don't think too much .

Casalindal:
On this day 8 months ago I was fine and carrying a 25 week bump gracefully. I had a good pregnancy, the only complaint from my Dr was my "uterus” had just finished a bowl of porridge yam when I felt "wet". I thought I peed on myself, went to the bathroom and discovered I was bleeding. We dialed 911 and that evening started the most terrifying journey of my life. I got to the hospital, God bless the paramedics. An ultrasound showed I had a total placenta abruption. The rush started to save my life. The baby's life was not priority. I was bleeding profusely. I said a prayer, told God to accept my soul if this was the end The drs told me they would do their best for the baby but because she was only 25weeks old, they didn't have the facility to care for her there. They had a level II NICU. If the baby makes it, she would have to be airlifted to a level IV NICU. 11.48 pm, I gave birth to a baby girl at 25 weeks 4 days. Sh weighed 748grams. She was the tiniest human I had ever seen. When they showed her to me, I kept asking "where is she". They tried intubating her 9 times before they got it right. Her vocal chord was damaged in the process. The travel team came to airlift her to another province but told me they were not sure she would make the flight. She was very fragile. It was a 2hours flight. Those were the longest 2hours of my life. I cried and cried. I prayed till I had not words to pray. I was in agony. I had no power to make things right. I knew this was all in God's hands. The call came, she made it. Next day I was airlifted to join her. Everything looked like a movie. Been in a ambulance, wheeled on a stretcher into an air ambulance. Wow. Mid air my oxygen saturation dropped and they had to put me on Oxygen. Oh boy, nothing like a good medical facility and also having money to sort your bill or afford them. The NICU journey is not one you would wish on anyone. It drains you emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually and all the "allys" you can think of. The uncertainty that lies ahead tears at every shred of strength you have. The nurses call it a "rollercoaster period". I sat helplessly watching my baby in the isolette, I watched through everytime her heartbeat drops and I couldn't do anything. I would cry everytime, I cried till I would start hyperventilating. If there was a crying competition, I would have been the winner with no opposition. One day, the nurses asked me if I would like to hold her. I was so scared of holding her, I was scared of hurting this tiny baby God gave me.I kept asking them if it was safe. I finally held her, it was a beautiful moment. I held my baby and prayed. Begged God to please save her. See guys you all night think I’m one hell of attention seeker all what have not, but true be told I have seen the good and the bad side of life. I will forever remain grateful to God and my loving husband for this journey and his support also To some of you guys here who has taken time to reach out with your kind words I totally appreciate everyone. I have had my fair share of life and trust me there were sometime not always pleasant.

thanks be to God dear ... anytime I see ur username I go just dey laff (drama queen).

Ambiitiouscent:
U dey mind the Apache fellow. He’s the same dude as that Apache something moniker. Just confirmed it now. He’s using IP vanish vpn. Dumb fellow doesn’t know say VPN na wash

how una dey take sabi all these stuffs of tracking someone ip address .... abeg come teach me bro