₦airaland Forum

ednut1:
The young ladies were warned by their parents and society but they still went for those guys. They should take accountability

Do you think it's easy to know who to trust ? You think it's easy to be a good girl and be alone and lock everybody out because you don't even give yourself a chance to make even simple friends , did you obey everything your own parents told you ? Did you do all the assignments your teachers gave you ? You did not
They give a man a chance because they listen to him when he says he's different from the rest and in the end people don't see it wrong for the guy to lie they get angry at her for believing a lie that even a lie detector can't point out

iLegendd:
Some men don't fall in love no matter how smart and beautiful you are. They are great in bed and all that. All thanks to the book Lasticle.

So, if a woman sends you the below message because you turned off your phone for some days and she has been trying to reach you, what will you reply?

I want to say something but I just saw most of the comments come from men who applaud whatever it is you think you're doing , so let me just greet and pass

Ishilove:
According to the OP, the mum doesn't support the marriage as well.

Personally I think the girl is being overindulged. If her sponsor, in this case the OP and her mother put their foot down and insist she gets at least her HND first before she thinks of marriage, I believe she will farabale

By the time she completes everything , her eye fit don clear or he might've found another naive princess to replace her , that's how my bff's ex asked her to marry him , broke , jobless , still in school for BSc and she said MBA oh ,he was like he'll marry someone else if she doesn't accept that he needs someone to grow with him , see the audacity

Ishilove:
These two statements are in direct contradiction of each other. After she is married, she becomes her husband's responsibility.

When you have a daughter or a sister or a niece , you'll understand that they will always be your responsibility even if they die , you'll still be thinking about them , I have siblings that I love and I believe in any situation they will always be a priority , it's the same way a parent will feel or in this case , her uncle

Saintmary:
Of course she will learn the hard way, regardless of what you say.


After she gets married never hand her cash if you plan to help. Just pay her school tuition by yourself, or any other expenses you might be so magnanimous to undertake.

So sad.

It's very true , she might even use her fees to support "hustling gig " that might crash one day

Iyaebe:
Shut up and start planning to own a house of your own before ever thinking of bringing somebody's daughter for your families to devour. Your reasoning sucks,may God not let someone like you cross our path.

Amen , Amen AMEN!!!!!!!

BluntTheApostle:
I just need some assurance that it is not bad.

Because I don't think I may be able to hold the wedding for long.

She thinks I am against the wedding because I don't want to fund it.

Recently, I have had some change in fortune. Something she knows about. Now, she thinks my reluctance to accept the man is due to my financial situation.

But that is not the issue.

It is very very bad
Just be firm , so that in the future if it goes south she'll know you tried to warn her

Zonefree:
OP, the marriage is between your Niece and her guy.

The guy is a hustler like you said. He's sponsoring himself to school, up to Masters level. He got things going for him. Can that be said about your Niece? Your Niece lives at your expense and you think she's ready for marriage?

Your Niece has to be independent, live alone, drive big cars before you can select made men for her as a groom.

So because she's been dependent for 20 years the uncle should be okay with her suffering small? , She's 20 TWENTY!!!! and you want to compare her to the guy that's 10 years her senior?

Zonefree:
As a lady, before you answer NO, endeavour you're staying alone and your parents are not staying in a rented flat at their old age.


Thank you.

So you want to compare a 30 year old man to a 20 year old girl , in fact it is girls that come from poor families that should even be extra careful so they don't suffer the same fate twice , it is usually the pampered girls that use love to enter inside chaos
He's 10 years older , he should be ahead of her , I don't know how you people come here to make comments that expose your networths

BluntTheApostle:
A few weeks back, my niece brought a man to me and introduced him as the one she wishes to marry.

Her father died while she was about 15, and I have been the one taking care of her, through school and all. So, she sees me as her father.

Alright, so she brought this young man to me. I have nothing against him. He is finishing up a master's degree, and even though he is not into anything really specific (he is a hustler sort of a person, combining different jobs), I do not have a problem with that. He appears focused, and really hardworking.

However, the problem is that he does not have a place of his own, and does not appear to have any plans in that direction.

So, last week, I asked him a whole lot of questions, and it appears like he would be marrying my baby, and she would live with him in their family house. Other families living there include the man's aged parents, some uncles and aunties, and their children. He was not specific whether aunties or uncles included blood relations and their spouses. I didn't press him on that.

Now, I have also sat my niece down, and had a chat with her. She is only 20+ (would be 21 in June). I tried to be as neutral as possible, but I may have been too blunt sometimes because she has been defensive, including accusing me of not wanting to fund the wedding.

Her mother reasons with me, but the girl has become deaf. She doesn't want to listen.

My point is that the wedding can be put on hold till the young man makes a firm decision on accommodation. All this: "I will consider it; I am considering it; it is a part of my plan" is not conclusive at all, and I don't want her to go and start her married life under the same roof with so many people.

The man is 30 (although he looks older to me), and I am beginning to feel that he is manipulating her.

What do you think?

Which of you has experienced living in your husband's family house? How was the experience?

For me, I think of it just like living in a polygamous family, and it makes me uneasy because this girl is too young, and too fragile.

Your opinions and experiences are highly welcome.

It may be all that I would need to reach a decision concerning this knotty issue.

If you really love her a much as you say you do , do not let her go there ,my aunt got married at the age of 20 when I was still a child , she moved into her husband's family home and became their maid as the youngest family member ,

Even the children had freedom , for her it was always " where are you going? " , "What are you doing ?" " By this afternoon you're sleeping" not her husband oh , his people were the ones interrogating her and sending her on errands thy couldn't send the children , it didn't end well for her , the man travelled after like two years and married another person in Canada and hasn't returned since , noone told her but she continued to be their maid until our family found out and went to carry her because if it was only her she would have waited for him to come back and 18 years has passed , he still hasn't returned, just sends money to his family

I don't know what the man has promised your niece but you really need to convince her , because by the time she regrets it she won't have face to come back , it's better you do it now that she's with you .
Marriage is not first to do oh , both of them are still young , if she's being stubborn like that please confirm that she's not already pregnant because that's the only thing in my head right now , I'm also turning 21 by June I don't know what will make me want to go from my parents house to my husband's parents house , in fact I want to live alone even if it's just a year before I will consider marriage

It's a big red flag that at the age of 30 he is very okay with living in his family house
Even my dad managed to marry my mom in a very small one bedroom apartment , it wasn't much but no extra family drama , I sleep for parlor my parents sleep in the bedroom , my aunty slept in the kitchen corridor and there was peace

Mercychen:
I'm talking about wearing panties when going to school or work and even on a visit. It's different when you're at home; You can decide to remain stack naked.

What causes heat and bad odour down there is polyester pants. 100% cotton pants don't cause heat.

By the way, the school authorities Know that these students chose not to wear panties for immoral purposes hence the rules to guard against such nonsense.

I'm also talking about going to school or work
But it's not because I'm doing anything , it's just the feeling of being free and with how I dress you need x-ray scan to know that I'm not wearing any , my school allows only corporate wears so we don't even wear skirts above our knees ,

Zikok0mag:
Get over secondary school
Focus on the present. Let that scared little girl from JSS1 go. It’s normal to lose a bit of confidence when you see other girls going through puberty at a faster rate than you — girls were moving from bra tops to proper big girl bras, getting more attention from the boys and you felt left out. I understand the feeling and it’s okay, but half of those girls also felt ugly for different reasons. Free yourself from the shackles of secondary school insecurities, you’re beautiful, now and always.

Source

You're pretty

kyber:
A girl I just met few days ago online just messaged me today…
Well just like any normal free day,I was down for a calm and Informal chat..only for her to tell me she’s not fine ..

(Pictures below)

(In my head)
Normal slang when they want to bill you
……………….

I tried to avoid asking her “why?”
so I asked her something else,I asked her if her admission might be the reason for her sadness…I even tried asking her about her school stuff but she still ended up billing me !!!

I pushed further by asking her if she has a boyfriend but she doesn’t and she refused to tell me the reason why.

What do I do now? Cause I feel for her though
This is not the first time a girl would ask me for an urgent 2k but …

Where are the legends in the house ?

What do you think she is up to?

Is she one of those urgent 2k girls?

All this for 2kpali ,hmmmmmm

Mercychen:
Why would anyone go out without pants in the first place?
Spoilt people everywhere.


Nice one by the school authorities. Every form of indecency must be flushed the system.

So you wear pant every single day ?
I can't oh at least not everyday , I mostly wear during my period ovulation days and depends on what I'm wearing

Let's not even talk about bra , you can't catch me with a bra at evening unless I left my house since morning or I went to a formal place
Then again even at day it depends on what I'm wearing and the weather , plus I have chest problem already so even if I wear it I try not to keep it on too long , some ppl dey wear bra and pant sleep , heat no dey their dictionary
Too much pant causes heat and it can lead to yeast infection or a smelly v , my roommate back then will sleep with bra , singlet , pant and tight

kyber:
M telling you
And they all have android phones
But the value of it to them is just to watch tiktok videos

We have bandits , kidnappers , ritualist , Boko Haram , cult clash , fuel trucks mass killing , we have hunger and high cost of living , we get plenty problem like this , you still want someones daughter to be crying about Ukraine , tiktok distracts depression , anybody that wants tiktok should watch , if it's news you want watch , it doesn't make anyone less than the other

edunaragold:
To be brief, happy Sunday everon
,indeed marriage is a blessing but has it's ups and downs,
MY wife left to east angrily ,and without thinking the consequence of tomorrow, she left ignorantly as money no dey flow again somehow ,but am not saying she marries me for money sake OK,but she is impatience and ignorances,,but somebody somewhere may be remotting her as she has no dad,,now am all alone,this is a woman I paid all and married before white and traditional igbo marriage before touching her, so money were no longer flowing like before and we had ups and down, while the house rent increase skyrocketly and I decide to build my own house ,since then I have not know peace .pls ladies in the house,is it bad if become a young landlord, would not my wife be a young landlady too.


The problems is my wife thinks given her the money for business would be better than building. She sees me as a wicked man, she has relocated back and non of her families has called to ask what is going on,pls mothers ,and great men,was I wrong in building, or should I have taking that money to established my wife,knowing full well that once the house is half way ready I can get few tenenat to rent and use that money join another cash to support her business. The worst part is that I have stop building just to favour her ,I send few of my business profit to her while my uncomplicated building with things I have paid for still lies in the hands of the sells since 6 months now,only coming to repay my rent again.

(1) Pls should I stop sending her money ,so she will learn her lesson to be patience if owu done blow her,she may return with the kids ,and use that money to finish up the building in 5months,just a 2bedroom flat ,and 3 extra self con
Or

(2) should I abandoned the building and keep sending her money at the other end,[/b]while I wash my plate,Cook by my self , wash my cloth, and still act as a gentleman ,and snurb the temptation of looking outside since she don't cares any more. And when a woman leave a man house without a good reason or violence, mothers and ladies we all know the wife has left an open doors for another woman .meanwhile another more beautiful lady is knocking[b] and conjeee dey hold me each time ,bit I kept saying the devil you know is better than the angel one don't know .

Am I the only one that read that bolded side and went blank , he went from being a victim to subtly threatening his marriage in half a second , like because you wash your hand by yourself you want to cry , she even took the two children and she's taking care of them , how much are you even sending that is making you talk , and you're here about another opportunity for another woman , you don't mean it?

stixxy:
Op you be amebo. Small secret you can't keep, Your friend trust you with her secret. Talk talk. Your own dey come soon. Mtcheeew

And do you know me? Do you know my name? Or where I am from ? I'm posting it so that other girls can see and learn from it , it's because of too many secrets that we have too many teenage moms because our parents want to keep sex as a secret , everybody shhhhh if noone talks about it then we'll be safe , no proper sex education in this parts of world , everything is religious and the rest are a taboo , while others are kept as secrets

My own will be twins
I will invite you for dedication , you think I will say God forbid , by next year if I see pikin I go thief am , if someone wants a baby that's okay. If they don't want it's still fine , the most important thing is the person involved , some ppl are having babies for dicklings , you're going to be tied to that person till one of you dies , that's if you don't kill each other first

Datboredberri:
I don't know.... Did she impregnate herself?

It takes two to tango...

Fornication, abortion... The man is equally responsible...

As for this stupid question, "How good will your genitals be for your future husband?"... The husband is fornicating, curing STDs and impregnating othet people's daughters... How many men get married as virgins?

If his genitals ain't brand new... He shouldn't expect that his wife's genitals would be too!!!!

You answered him?
Someone that was talking from his butthole

RedCentaur:
To some girls, their beauty is a blessing.

To some, it's a curse. Imagine being so attractive that almost every male you come across wants to have a fling with you. How are you to filter out the genuine ones from the casanovas?

Thank you , na only your comment wey try make sense

kelechiodo:
Real life story. It remainds me of a similar experience. It's story for another day. But your advice is in order. Let her just ghost him, if possible relocate.

I don't know the use of explaining to someone that was warming up to deny you , the other babe said if she vanishes like that he's going to be worried that maybe she's keeping it or maybe something very bad has happened ,but if it was me like this shame won't let me show my face to you again , major trust issues will kick in , I will just pack myself and commot

Ladycewhy:
Who nor know e own? Lol. If you are triggered like this it means something is up . But hey the truth hurts.

The bottom line is , women of this days will not be like your mother,you either accept it or go and marry your ,and if she is dead ,go sit in the grave with her.

Sis you don't need to respond to everyone on your posts , it'll drain you, at least the women here agree with you because it's only us that can see them and it is us that still suffer it and still is that need solution for it , any man that posts against you or insults you is obviously triggered , it's a waste of time trying to explain anything to them or trying to defend yourself , anything you say will be taken as an offense

So a friend of mine just found out recently that she was pregnant in a relationship that just started January , she had to open up to I and another mutual friend of ours after her bf who was responsible started switching up on her real quick , not picking her calls , not responding to her texts and then when he finally called it was a very rude conversation , talked to her like she was a nobody , she was still trying to defend him but none of what she said could convince me that he could talk to her like that

So we all had to just start looking for a solution because if this pregnancy stays hell will break loose , it was the first time any of us were in this kind of sensitive situation ,
since we couldn't really get to the baby daddy at least for money coz all the conversations were turning into arguments, she ran to her ex who is also her friend and explained to him and that one was the one that came to her rescue for the money part , just when she was about to go and get it done she miscarried , and fell sick , she hasn't told her bf that she lost it yet but I just advised her to ghost him , no explanation , no talk , just cut , block and delete but Its her business if she listens to me

I always heard that you'll see the true colors of a man the moment you get pregnant for him , but this is not hearing , the baby didn't come to stay , but this whole thing opened the face of the guy she was getting involved with and at least now she knows how good he is at conflict resolution and how much of a great father he would have made for his wanted pregnancy (sarcasm)

Ladycewhy:
So it has become a wailing sound even sung more than the national anthem. Men are wondering why women of today are not like their mothers.


They want to have wives like their mothers cos their mothers "suffered" for them and the family and wore suffer head like a badge of honor to prove to society that she was a virtuous woman.

A woman in Africa is measured by her ability to suffer , not for herself but for everyone else , it doesn't even start from marriage , even our mother's do that thing " is this how you're going to do in your husband's house ?" "I will come and cook for your husband to eat abi" " " better learn how to do this and this , men don't like this and this " , it's very sad sometimes but it is reaity

, most guys that I've spoken too that have a story of a mum that suffered always expect some type lordship , like they feel they can talk to you anyhow and you should take it if truly you love them , that's what love is to them , and I don't think they are fully conscious of this

I think there is a big truth in this coz I've at least seen the signs , you know we think "oh he loves his mom so much that's a good sign " but sometimes it's not , the moms will encourage bad behavior from them because they too suffered , so they have conditioned most of these men to think that their bad habits are just natural instincts and sometimes they even praise them " see as all these girls dey come dey fool themselves for my pikin because him fine , Las Las I no go allow am Marry this type of girls , when the time reach I go find better person"

They rather blame the girls than their son that might have brought in 5 girls in a week , because he's a man , a girl is not supposed to sleep with who's not her husband but there's nothing wrong with a male child with multiple sex partners ,
I no too dey vex when some girls post that they don't want mil but see ehn even the ones that have lost their mom they won't lose the lesson their mom implanted in them , so it's just luck oh that you find the one that understands that a dick is not all it takes to rule the world , the greatest Kings are the Kings who have a desire to serve , protect and provide for his people , it's not sitting on the throne to collect gifts and be pampered , that job is for disabled people or babies but you ppl will say you're grown men

Candidlady:
You were very happy when you single? Are you sure?

Cuz one can't be happy and choose to throw that happiness away!!!!

Use your head girl

Very very happy , but sometimes you'll still want to have someone , there's nothing wrong with that , its getting someone who's on the same page with you thats tricky

Relationship never reach 1 month oh , no calls , no text , the only time I can talk with the guy is when I see him which can be anytime , I call he won't pick , ask him why he didn't return my calls he'll tell you it was network that he tried but couldn't get to you , meanwhile we're in the same place using the same network and other pls calls are coming in , sometimes he'll even say he didn't see any missed calls when I gave him like 3 or more on all his numbers ,


I wanted to leave since but my friends keep trying to understand his side " maybe he's sick , go check on him " , maybe he's going through something and he doesn't want to say but is it not too early to be feeling this less important in a new relationship , we did not even go through the honeymoon phase , that first 1 or 2 weeks period where both of you have to be up at 6am for school or work but you're still on the phone at 4:59 and you're not yet sleepy ,

we just went boooom into old people relationship where we're both tired of each other and its not even a month , I'm someone that loves attention , disturb me oh but still give me small space, sha disturb me first , I love attention and I love men that like to gist me about everything they're upto , even if I don't understand what you're saying sometimes, just keep talking , talk till I fall asleep ,
at least if you're having a bad day you should feel better just seeing me , that is a big turn on for me , I'm already regretting accepting him right now coz if I break up like this its going to look like I'm very indecisive , I told him everything I wanted before I accepted him and he promised to be MY MAN , but he's not even trying to try and pretend
at night he's always tired , will be online and not chat me up , if I chat him up he'll just go off and then the next day you'll hear sorry I slept off , even voice call that I scheduled for tonight I even informed him in advance so that he can make out time to not be tired and that too didnt happen , I was very happy when I was single because ion understand what's going im ion geerit at all

Modified:
No sex , just make out and when we're together physically , eye to eye , Its not so bad , its when we're apart that I feel this way , he can stay days and not call if I let him , not even text unless I text first , I can't be waiting to see him before we can have conversations , what if it was an emergency and I needed to talk to someone that's how he won't pick my calls , no sex , no sex , no sex to those who think that he used me for sex , he did not , don't reflect your mistakes on me

Datboredberry:


Why? Against skin damage? Sure!

I'm dark... But wish I were darker still...

@truvelisback: How did you jump to that conclusion? Sex is an art, I respect it...

Coz you are dark you .won't feel you need it but if you want to maintain your skin till old age you have to try to protect it now , fair ppl can notice it faster , but dark skinned ppl like myself won't notice until the skin is damaged and dry like kpomo , my fine lecturer gave me the advice sha she's in her 60s but if you see her skin , I'm 20 but you can't compare her leg and my leg , me sef I know so I also started attempting to take better care of my skin before I rub anything anyhow

Datboredberry:
Which school? In Nigeria?

I heard the same thing about whites... As for Indians, it's generally agreed that they smell like garlic, curry or onions...

Someone mentioned that Africans have a smell too... It's weird.

I guess our culture and lifestyle kinda determines the way we smell... Not our skin colour.

But this can make a person self--conscious... Thinking, 'Do I smell Black/African?'....

Yes its a Nigerian school in Lagos , there were a large number of foreigners in that area

Datboredberry:
It's just a simple question: Do black people smell different from whites? And Asians from Middle Easterners?

I watched a YouTube video recently... A guy interviewed students in his University abroad if they would date someone of a different race.

Most were women... I noticed that a few said no, because..."Indians smell like curry"..."Black men have a strong smell"..."White's kinda smell like dish water"... Others were downright racist!

I tried to get an answer online... But didn't find any.

Note: I'm addressing this question to those who've interacted with others of different races... I've met Indians, Europeans and Asians... But I never thought to smell them...

I thought they were all okay!

But have you noticed that people of a different race smell the same and different from blacks?

And this isn't a thread to bash anyone... I'm not asking if your "mother" and "sisters'" vaginas skink... So any idiot who wants to imply that should kindly f**k off.

If you've worked with Indians... Americans... Europeans... Middle Easterners and noticed they all have distinct smells... Just comment what it's like and if there's a reason.

Do blacks smell strongly to others?

Do Indians smell like garlic or curry?

What of Middle Easterners?




Or are all these just racist? Because I think it is to imply that people smell a certain way cause of their race... But is there some truth to it?

Yes I believe we all have different smells , in school we had a lot of foreign students most of the Indian kids had this smell , like when you cut onions and wash your hands , my closest friend had it too I didn't tell her tho , especially her hair , and the whites also had a different smell , someone said its coz they don't wash them well as newborns , it even got to a point where an Indian boy reported one guy for discrimination coz the guy told someone that the place was smelling like Indian milk whilst the Indian boy was passing its not supposed to be funny but it was , with the kind of sponge we're using I doubt Africans have a particular smell too but its possible we do and we can't just notice it , in an average African home you are expected to bath twice daily or even thrice but ppl abroad bath anytime they feel like it coz of the weather or other things.

No matter how dark you are , use sunscreen sis

Haakeem:
DIFFERENT TYPES OF PEOPLE IN THE
KITCHEN
1.THE TASTERS: Just 16 slices of
plantains that they are frying they have
already eaten 10 from tasting
2.THE RUNNERS:These ones are major
enemies of hot oil they can't stand and
put anything inside the oil they would be
displaying taekwondo if the oil
mistakenly makes noise temple run
activated.
3.THE SACRIFICERS:These ones mostly
forgot that they are cooking something
until the whole house starts to smell of
burnt food . Ordinary to warm beans it
would be burnt offering. Thank you o,
the gods have accepted your sacrifice
4) THE YOUTUBE SEARCHERS:These
ones cannot cook without going to
check for lectures.Hmm ordinary to
prepare cornflakes they would go to
YouTube and check.
5.THE IG/WHATSAPP/SNAPCHAT/
STORY ONES:These one would never
cook in peace they would use video to
injure someone taking me through the
journey to cook delicacies that I won't
eat is that one not witchcraft.
6.THE SPIRITUAL :These ones don't
measure ingredients before putting they
just put until one spirit inside of them
tells them that it's ok.
7.THE GIST GIVERS:These ones are not
in the kitchen to cook oh they are the
backbone of the chefs, steady giving the
chef gist while they are cooking.Benefits
of being a gist giver is that sometimes

you will eat free meat and even fish.
8: THE IMPRESSERS:These ones can
over do oh cook indomie for 1hr their
own must be cuisine standard.
9: THE NON-TESTERS:These ones can
cook anything without tasting but they
still get the right taste of the food
So which one are you above mentioned
just for fun.

1234
I taste every 5 seconds
I dey use YouTube steady
I don burn water sef
I no dey near hot oil oh