₦airaland Forum

kandiikane: @greatgenius, don't mind him. I'm sure he also agrees that blacks and whites are different so there is nothing wrong with slavery and racism.

Shows d level of ur intelligence..n here I was overestimating u.
I actually feel pity f u. Won't bother wit dis

Tho am not fully in support of Jonathan's decision, but d USA should go n sit down on a heap. Getting tired of their meddlesome attitude. Is their declaring their displeasure not enough? So they're now trying t arm twist us, no matter how subtly, until we conform abi?
Make dem park well joor. Democracy my foot

kandiikane: Wow, I love it when village ediots call others ignorant. Your post reeks stup!dity and you also need to grow up-the pride of a woman is her chastity, go sit in a corner you dunce! Do you have a vag.ina to know what a pride of a woman is? Rubbish! I'm sure you are single that's why you utter such rubbish.

P.s. Before you call someone ignorant make sure you are not ignorant to the english language itself.

Truth hurts abi?
Go suck on adick, only this time around,do make sure it's exclusively yours.
PS; Am happily married, hope u do soon#keeping my fingers crossed on that..

MsDarkSkin: I agree with the bolded.
Women cheat out of emotion but seriously what could you possibly expect if you decide to play the game of revenge in your RELATIONSHIP? if it pains a woman so much why not tell him how she feels and truly mean it?

don't say "i forgive you" kiss and make up then go and cheat.
it would defeat the purpose, no?

Wow... I think am in love
Finally.. A Woman.

MsDarkSkin: i feel for you brother.
i won't chastise you and call you a hypocrite for cheating on her first and being upset that she did the same thing. Reason being is that obviously she must have claimed to have forgiven you after your affair but still went and committed the same act of betrayal. That is no way to live.

Revenge and tit for tat should have no place in any relationship. You said it yourself you no longer love her and I am sure she must have her ill feelings about you, so perhaps you should divorce or better yet take some time away from each other.

They say "distance/absence makes the heart grow fonder" - well that might be true and might not be, but it won't hurt to try. Either way you two need to be alone so you can take time to reflect and see if you are better together or apart.

Whatever you decide to do just don't deprive yourself of happiness for the sake of this marriage and definitely don't stay married for the kids. Kids witnessing two parents vexed and fed up with each other can be far detrimental to them than the actual separation.

Just take time out for yourself man.
And take it easy.

100 likes

byvan: Meanwhile,the last time I checked,women were asked to submit to their husbands and not some random handles on NL.Men have failed in their roles,and rebellion is inevitable.The few worthy men are enjoying their lives and when they speak on this forum,they exude inner peace.The moment they change this daft mentality of a man can cheat,a women belongs to one man,the better for them.Am glad women are taking their destinies into their own hands.If you have a responsible man as a partner,Submission won't be a biggie.Ihe onye metara oburu,Onye nya na nWoke na emeko ihe na eji ogologo ngazi.Igba ndia nkiti,ha chie gi onu n'ala.

Submission n Respect is not Conditional, it is a Command..as long as he is,ur chosen husband then d Respect n Submission should b given. Same as a Man is t Love his Wife irrespective of whatever.
It is NOT CONDITIONAL.
What's Right is Right let's leave this Feminist Bull Crap.
This attitude is why Divorce is on d increase now..

@Adaeze. Several tins dat bothered me about d post;-1) He had cheated before which makes her cheating on him suspect, tho there's never a good reason f cheating. 2) she confessed only after he Confronted her..3)an,11yr old marriage is not some thing u toy around wit except ur tired of it. cheating on a tit f tat basis is f boyfriend_girlfriend relationships, not marriage.
The responsibility of building ur home including putting man in check.is predominantly a womans responsibility..check ur Bible.
The man is t love (+not cheating),while d woman is to Respect man..how has she done that by her actions.
I get ur point, it Hurts either way.. I know, but in this particular case, I will hold d woman responsible f her actions n d consequences thereof cos it was Her Choice.
If d role was reversed, I'll condemn d man, n so will some guys as they've shown here.
What's right is right irrespective of gender.

Adaeze003: @crown prince
dont get me wrong I don't support evil for evil...

The op didn't give us details on how he begged his wife but you've included that, he never told us what made his wife cheat and yet you concluded that she did it to even the score. Lol! Do you see what you're trying to do? You're still trying to paint the woman black while the man retains his color!

All we know is that they both cheated! So, what's wrong with painting both of them black?



If only they could call a spade a spade...

She cheated after he did, after she had 'forgiven' him..don't blame anyone f their assumptions cos that's wat it looks like.
The Book of Proverbs said 'a wise woman Builds her home', she doesn't go repaying evil f evil, or falling into the exact same situation he did.
Y'all going arnd saying African men mentality..fine, but knowing this is d prevalent mentality isn't that the more reason y she should have acted more honourably not cheating n waiting till she was CONFRONTED wit d facts before confessing.
it's disheartening t c so many ppl's comments here.
so it's Tit f Tat now n God help us all? How do u then expect a change. hasn't it worsened d situation here.
look at it from both angles n not speaking sentimentally.
So now he should suck it up cos he did it first? he feels betrayed, selfish-yes,, but it is Wat it is, n U will feel d same if u were in his shoes.
She had a choice n she Chose wrongly. The consequences r hers t deal wit.
Not supporting the guy, he messed up.He'll just have t deal wit it. I simply stand f d truth..
2 Wrongs don't make a Right.. That's calling a spade a spade

Adaeze003: @crown prince
dont get me wrong I don't support evil for evil...

The op didn't give us details on how he begged his wife but you've included that, he never told us what made his wife cheat and yet you concluded that she did it to even the score. Lol! Do you see what you're trying to do? You're still trying to paint the woman black while the man retains his color!

All we know is that they both cheated! So, what's wrong with painting both of them black?



If only they could call a spade a spade...

She cheated after he did, after she had 'forgiven' him..don't blame anyone f their assumptions cos that's wat it looks like.
The Book of Proverbs said 'a wise woman Builds her home', she doesn't go repaying evil f evil, or falling into the exact same situation he did.
Y'all going arnd saying African men mentality..fine, but knowing this is d prevalent mentality isn't that the more reason y she should have acted more honourably not cheating n waiting till she was CONFRONTED wit d facts before confessing.
it's disheartening t c so many ppl's comments here.
so it's Tit f Tat now n God help us all? How do u then expect a change. hasn't it worsened d situation here.
look at it from both angles n not speaking sentimentally.
So now he should suck it up cos he did it first? he feels betrayed, selfish-yes,, but it is Wat it is, n U will feel d same if u were in his shoes.
She had a choice n she Chose wrongly. The consequences r hers t deal wit.
Not supporting the guy, he messed up.He'll just have t deal wit it. I simply stand f d truth..
2 Wrongs don't make a Right.. That's calling a spade a spade

[quote author=slimyem][/quote]ok.. but don't forget, d kidney is,an excretory organ, n it's by products r essentially waste from d body, carried by d blood t d kidneys. so, u r basically taking in waste from d body. add t dat d high level of u.t.i's n u can imagine d kinda cocktail u taking in.
not critical of alternative medicine but usually regard them wit a healthy dose of suspicion.
nothing beats healthy eating habits n water, if u need t detoxify

[quote author=slimyem][/quote]ok.. but don't forget, d kidney is,an excretory organ, n it's by products r essentially waste from d body, carried by d blood t d kidneys. so, u r basically taking in waste from d body. add t dat d high level of u.t.i's n u can imagine d kinda cocktail u taking in.
not critical of alternative medicine but usually regard them wit a healthy dose of suspicion.
nothing beats a,healthy eating habits n water, if u need t detoxify

U cheated, she cheated..but 2 wrongs do not make a right.
secondly, I can understand how d poster feels. He probably feels betrayed, being that she's getting back at him was at d expense of wat should b exclusively his, worse if d cheating has been going on f a while which begs d question whether emotions had become involved n also as a man, wat n how it must have been f it t have lasted that long.
selfish-yes, but men can b fiercely possessive. Personally, I also feel it was extremely reckless of d wife t do Wat she did, esp when there's d risk of marriage falling apart. don't know wat her motives must have bin tho
my advice will simply b f d poster t make a conscious effort t forgive n possibly take a break, go f a course, travel or something, t allow f healing..afterall, distance makes d heart fonder. he drew first blood, he'll just have t man up..

Best advice I got from a colleague; if u can't live with it now, u probably won't be able t live wit it den..
be careful n choose wisely..

Like all good, controversial post, it's a couple of making sense points mixed in wit a few B.S.
Best point tho is 'A man will only treat u d way u Allow him treat u'.. This I think is wat Every woman should realize.
PS; If guys are dogs, then Tame him.. abi??

Great post @OP.
Colo Rectal CA is being seen more n more these days than before,probably cos of improved diagnosis etc.
management protocol are improving in tackling it but early detection still remains d key.
Once a year check up wit Scans, Barium enemas n colonoscopy (if available ) is recommended after the age of 50.
A healthy lifestyle is very important, with Gods Grace..

kinda new so no..

kandiikane: ^what utter rubbish!

ok... didn't expect a glorified, yet ignorant booty call t understand.
I do understand, u have sexual needs n u r free t satisfy them as u please, afterall, no double standards.
Enjoy...

I can't believe we still on this..
Women n guys r biologically n psychologically different in their make ups. Men are visually oriented while women on the other hand, are more emotionally oriented, n so it's easier f guys t be tempted by wat we see while d sisters get tempted with something that strikes an emotional chord within them.
The Pride of a Woman Is HER CHASTITY, the same way d pride of a Man is HIis ABILITY TO PROVIDE N CATER F HIS FAMILY N LOVED ONES..failure t do so makes u an object of mockery.Also, if yin d process of doing so u put ur fingers into illegal ish, due t temptations, den u r culpable. Society doesn't expect women t b sexy, it expects women not t b Ashamed of Their Sexuality, this doesn't mean u should go dressing slutty, but within d bounds of decency.
Sexual expression should b done within d loving boundaries of a proper relationship. If u chose, under d guise of bin Liberal or Carefree, t do otherwise, then You Are responsible f d way society views you.
5 temptations a day IS NO EXCUSE f anybody t give as to why u couldn't kip ur legs closed.
Saying we should understand it is an Endorsement of Promiscuity. A girl that sleeps wit more than 3 guys a year, has a problem with saying No. If u have a high libido, then get someone of like nature n ride on.
This crap about double standards doesn't hold water. Not endorsing promiscuity in guys. Double standards mean both parties r bio n psych d same, n we all knw it's not so.
everybody is equal in d eyes of God based on our choices.
THERE ARE NO DOUBLE STANDARDS, THERE'S SIMPLY RIGHT AND WRONG..

Richfella: Most of us guys are quick to judge women: "That Ngozi babe is loose, 3 boyfriends in 1 year!". "I still can't believe it, my girlfriend just told me she's slept with 8 guys. Geezuus! She is not wife-material!"

But have we ever stopped to look at the world through their own eyes? The Indians used to say, don't judge a man until you walk a mile in his moccasins (Lol, some funny dude added; so that you'll be a mile away, and have their shoes ).


The average looking girl, in her prime, gets offered sex a million times more than the richest, sexiest dudes ever would. Most good looking girls get chyked and offered sex massively, every single day. It could be very subtle, like when the guy offers to give you a lift in his car, compliments her on her new hair. Or blatant, like when he comes all out and makes his intentions known.

At just 5 chykers a day, that translates to frightening figures like 365 X 5 = 1,825! times in just ONE year. And then, there's the next year, and the next year and the next year...


Lord knows that if girls chyke me like that on a daily basis, that I will become useless, won't ever go to work again . And Rough Rider, Durex and Gold Circle will all give me a combined Platinum VIP Card .

And to add petrol to fire, these marrafokers come bearing gifts. Bribes. Tempting, hard-to-resist, mouth-watering bribes. Money, phones, clothes, travel, jewellery and comfort - in all it's devilishly disarming forms.



Sincerely, I am yet to meet any guy that can withstand the onslaught of temptation, the barrage of inducement that our girls have to deal with EVERY SINGLE DAY. Yet we feel we are on a moral high-ground and have the right to judge them.

Truth be told, If most of us stood to gain even the smallest of material benefits from having sex, we would all line the streets at night in body-hugging micro clothing!


Our society encourages women to dress sexy & feel sexy but at the same time strongly disapproves of them expressing it to the full. It's really unfair the societal pressure we mount on them to conform to our 'ideal' and repress their most natural desires. Our fellow human beings who possess the same powerful drives that we do.

Is it not the height of hypocrisy. You sleeping with any available living thing that moves. And then turning around to judge women for being picky, showing discipline and resisting temptation.

Maybe she once had a one-night stand, so what? Maybe she once slept with someone for money, so what? Maybe she had 10 boyfriends, e he??

If you look at it closely, we guys are actually the real sluts. The hypocritical sluts. The Sadducees and Pharisees .

Now, if you were a girl, from the bottom of your heart, do you think you could ever be half as good?

This is wat d o.p wrote

Richfella: What attributes makes a woman want to sleep with you NOW. As in right now? - That doesn't involve money or looks or fame .

Or decide to string you along for six months before giving in.

Don't knw about u, but wit d exception of one, most women I've met didn't just want t jump n hump upon meeting me, irrespective of my money, looks n 'fame'. There had t be some form.of interaction t make her convince herself I was worth boning. women are not volume buttons, they r like a p/c system that has t boot n reboot bf coming on,but once on..
Saying we should be liberal about women expressing thier sexuality is a gross endorsement of promiscuity if I eva heard one.The girls above, tempting as they may have been,visually n otherwise, wit d exception of one, did not make me fall cos I had chosen bfhand not to.
Understand d (ur) differences n live by your choices ..

Richfella: What attributes makes a woman want to sleep with you NOW. As in right now? - That doesn't involve money or looks or fame .

Or decide to string you along for six months before giving in.

Don't knw about u, but wit d exception of one, most women I've met didn't just want t jump n hump upon meeting me, irrespective of my money, looks n 'fame'. There had t be some form.of interaction t make her convince herself I was worth boning. women are not volume buttons, they r like a p/c system that has t boot n reboot bf coming on,but once on..
Saying we should be liberal about women expressing thier sexuality is a gross endorsement of promiscuity if I eva heard one.The girls above, tempting as they may have been,visually n otherwise, wit d exception of one, did not make me fall cos I had chosen bfhand not to.
Understand d differences n live by your choices ..

Richfella: You miss the whole point of the other article.

Short summary: Men are séxual, women are séxual too. So why are we then held by a different set of standards?

Women only get Hot while ovulating? Are you serious? Lol. Women get massively aróused by core masculinity 24/7 - all year round .

Furthermore, if you really want to be 'good' with women. You have to actually see the world how they do - which also happens to be the reality of how things really are.

Do you think it was by accident that most chics couldn't even comment on the other thread? They've been so oppressed and made to be ashamed of their sexuality that they couldn't even express their views on an anonymous forum! That's how bad it is.

women are emotional, guys are visual. Women cannot get turned on 24/7 just by Core Masculinity, it's just not possible. They need to have at least 2 of d 5 senses stimulated before she even considers u. This is why, ladies will usually say, it was his looks n voice or his skin n smell etc, unlike guys that can get massively aroused just by jiggling breast even if she looks like d caricature of a bulldog. Turning guys away f a woman is easy. people only fall if they decide to.

It's always d first t insult that turns out sounding dumb..S.m.h
@pleep. dude stop wasting ur time. To each his/her own.
It's funny how d op himself is d one, as it turns out from his post, dat has d least bit of respect for d female gender

freecocoa: Girls shouldn't sleep around as its not a good thing, we all agree on that.

The problem here is, those men that sleep with these girls, what should such men be called? If we are going to condemn anyone shouldn't it be both parties?

Nobody endorses promiscuity,not in makes not females, but one tin u refuse t accept is dat men n women are different, both in dier bio n psych wiring as well as wit wat society accepts from each party. From ages past, men have always bin given a bit more freedom t gain some experience prior t his bin hooked, afterall u nid t know where t put it , but d pride of women is n will always b dier chastity.
True, men dese days have greatly overstepped thier boundaries, poking indiscriminately but that does not still justify females abusing d freedom nu societal norms have bestowed upon them cos in doing so, ur only throwing away d Pride u have as a woman.
trying t rationalise it wit urabove statement, frankly won't work.
I don't sleep around indiscriminately. have neva disvirgined a girl cost I hold it sacred, n Will Never cheat on my wife cos I hold her sacred, but even if I was t do d above n she reciprocates, she has only demeaned herself, in her own eyes, dat of her husband n in d eyes of society. it's just d way it is.
Let's just respect ourselves n our bodies.

Matthew briggs: Nice Analysis but very wrong premise, it's illogical therefore destroys your conclusion.

Your analysis would have worked if Men and Women were wired equaly or have the same emotional and physical characteristics.

Leme apply your logic in a different scenario and you can judge how it weighs in

EG.
Most of us are quick to judge Bankers who commit fraud: "That Guy na serious thief see as he embezzled 20billion from people who trust him with his their hard earned money!". "I still can't believe it, this guy should be jailed for life.

But have we ever stopped to look at the world through their own eyes?

The Average Bank cashier on a normal working day, comes in contact with average of 10million naira in a day.
At just 5million in a day that is 365 x 5,000,000= appx. 1.9bilion naira in just ONE year. And then, there's the next year, and the next year and the next year... all this money are not his kai.

And to add petrol to fire, standard of living keep rising and responsibilities keep piling, Rent's increasing, fuel, food etc.
But that will not justify him if he is caught stealing even 100Naira, and if caught he might even end up been convicted as a criminal.

Why because there are some control mechanisms the bank management put in place to prevent him from doing so, like paying him well, and creating a system that detect and prevent fraud on a fly therefore scaring him from doing so.

Where I am getting at via this analogy.
Nature has place in women some check and balances to help them overcome the billions or trillions of temptation the get every year, mechanisms like
they get turned on by words not visual, Sex is more emotional and deeper not casual or trivial, i can go on and on to mention the mechanisms, i guess i've made my point.
For Every 1,825 guys she meet every year nature has given her the power to resist them .

Therefore if they fall for this temptation they are have failed and are prone to bear whatever names or consequence that comes with it.
@Op There is no use trying to INDIRECTLY justifying what is wrong or demanding it should be seen from a new light. Call a spade a spade.

A woman that sleeps around is a slut a man that does it above normal is a pig or a dog.

The only point I agree with you is that Men should not be quick to judge women why because as you said , don't judge a man until you walk a mile in his moccasins

Respect man.. 100likes

pleep: Most of yall be sleeping around on a prostitutional scale anyway so i don't know what you want praise for.

dude, not every.biz goes around poking it into every mobile hole/crack. 3 dates, including sex in a year is too much f a girl by ANY standards. that girl is Easy..

Richfella: Hey guys...am BACK! Went to do something about my 'developing' pot-belly.

@ Pleep

The crux of your argument is that women have limited reproductive resources. Which must be optimized by them picking the fittest mates. Partly True.

This, above, is the under-current responsible for most female sexúal choice.


I told you that our ability to reason, trade and make deals. Courtesy of our neo-cortex, makes me able to make decisions that run contrary to what my evolutionary programming wants.

I am not biologically attracted to fat chics. It is against my evolutionary programming. HOWEVER, if a fat chic gives me $1,000,000, I'll fúck her. Despite my not being attracted to her. A decision very much AGAINST my programmed inclination for hotter chics. {I love all fat chics o, na my biology dey mess up }.

IN OTHER WORDS: A chics decision to sleep with a man can have nothing AT ALL to do with biological attraction and she will do it. We have a sophisticated part of the brain that can and does override our programming. We can make DEALS.


This is probably where you're gonna change direction to the promiscuity angle .

I can't believe am having an argument concerning women with a guy who said he'll NEVER approach women in a club again because ONE girl turned him down .

I eat evo-biology for breakfast. It's a foundational topic for one of my PRACTICAL hobbies .

this is simply bull. if I sleep wit a girl cos of monetary inducement, then I deserve t b called a slut.
124 likes f dis crap.
Ladies, respect yourselves n we will respect you all. it's dat simple

sexkillz: [color=#000030]^^Thank God say una use una two naked eye see am. . . Those legs are best fit for action with The super falcons of Nigeria. . . Make she use the legs bring football glory to Nigeria and make some money along the way.

I no fit shout abeg. [/color]

sexkillz is on a roll.. . 3-0