₦airaland Forum

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Fenrir:
I dont keep Yoruba men as friends, I dont even employ them. I just prove them wrong and leave them.
Send an email and arrange where and when.

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There you go, assuming I am Yoruba.

You make ridiculous assumptions.

Anyway I am not interested in meeting you cos I really think you are a scammer.

Fenrir:
My wife died of cancer 6 years ago and im married to an igbo woman now and I didn't do her traditions either and you believe whatever want. I dont care I know the truth.. get yourself to ikoyi and come see

The difference? 195 countries in the world and the Scandinavian countries are in the top 5 for most honest, least corruption, most equal and most law abiding in the world...

But Nigeria? Because of the men? Bottom 140-180.

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Oh goodness.

So sorry about this.

I do live in Ikoyi now, so whenever is fine.

Fenrir:
40... born in the artic Norwegian territories where we take tradition seriously. Where you would not even survive just because of the sheer cold. Where it is illegal to leave your home without a rifle. Where it is illegal to give birth and Illegal to die. And I literally mean that, a woman has to leave to give birth and you have to leave to die.

Your culture?

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Honestly I don't get what your problem is.

Where is your wife? With you? If so what's all this long talk about?

That's assuming you are a man. Cos I seriously doubt everything you say.

Fenrir:
You dont practice your "traditions" you dropped all the brides families sides obligations and kept all the grooms obligations

What exactly is there to respect about a culture of lies?

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How old are you?

Fenrir:
Respect for what exactly?

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Traditions.

Fenrir:
No, its not and thats the lie you tell yourselves.... Read the following and stop ignoring it or you are admitting how morally and ethically bankrupt "you lot" are.....

Let’s stop pretending.

When people shout “Our tradition! Prostrate! Do full Yoruba wedding! Respect our culture!”
they always list what the groom must do.

They almost never mention what the bride’s family was originally supposed to do to deserve all that respect, bride price, and full prostration package.

If we are talking real old-school Yoruba custom (not 2026 selective memory), then “tradition” was a bundle:

If the groom’s side does X, Y, Z…
the bride’s family must also have done A, B, C.

You can’t demand one half and quietly delete the other.

Virginity = “lineage guarantee” (and the parents had duties here)

In old Yoruba custom, virginity wasn’t just a cute idea, it was family honour + lineage certainty.

There was asa ibile, the white cloth on the wedding night to prove virginity.
If she was a virgin, gifts and money went back to her parents in pride.
If not, symbolic shame (half-boiled yam, etc.) was sent instead.

Virginity was tied to good upbringing, proper monitoring, protection, and no secret boyfriends and baby daddies.

Meaning,
if you want to shout “our tradition!” about prostration & bride price, then the girl’s family were also obligated to.....

protect her from sexual abuse and exploitation
actually supervise her movements and relationships

insist on no sex before marriage if they want to use virginity as their cultural bragging right.

You cannot abandon all those parental duties, turn blind eye to “coded runs”, then still stand up on wedding day forming “we are traditional, prostrate for us.”

That’s not culture. That’s selective memory.

Proper upbringing & character, Ìwà, not just makeup.......

Traditional Yoruba marriage respected families that raised Omoluabi, good character.

The bride’s family was expected to,

raise her with discipline, honesty, respect, and home training

teach her how to live peacefully in another house, not how to weaponise drama
show that she is entering the man’s home as asset, not destabiliser

Old texts and studies emphasise that part of what groom’s family is “thanking” the bride’s family for (with owo orí, gifts, prostration) is the years of proper upbringing & moral training.

If you’ve never really raised the girl, grandparents did everything, or she basically raised herself on TikTok and church performances, then what exactly are we prostrating for?

Protection & supervision not throwing girls to wolves.....

Traditionally, there were clear systems......

alarina, go between and chaperones in courtship

structured visits
serious monitoring of who is courting the daughter and with what intention

If a grown man slept with an unbetrothed virgin, he was expected to pay and/or marry her there was some accountability......

Today?

many families don’t protect their daughters
don’t believe them when something happens

push them out early to “hustle”

then suddenly remember “tradition” when it’s time to collect list and bride price.

Again, you can’t throw away your side of the cultural duty, then resurrect it only when money and prostration enter the chat.

The bride’s “equipment” used to be their job, not the groom’s

Historically, the bride’s family were supposed to send her off properly equipped,

clothing
cooking tools
home essentials

things that show she’s ready to manage a home and contribute.

Now look at most modern lists:

“gas cooker, fridge, blender, full kitchen, generator, furniture…”

all dumped on the groom, while the bride’s family basically arrive with vibes, matching aso ebi and billing.

If we’re being honest,

Tradition = the bride’s family equip her to be an asset in that home.
Extortion = the groom fully equips their daughter and their own kitchen back home.

Pick one. Don’t call extortion “culture.”

Dowry (owo orí) was symbolic, not ransom.......

Old Yoruba custom:
dowry was often small and symbolic, and in many cases returned, to emphasise “we are not selling our daughter, this is just culture.”

Even where it wasn’t returned, it was still token-level, not “buy a mini-supermarket or no wife.”
Modern practice in many families?
Endless lists, extra bills on the day, “add something”, “Ibòmbo – we trained your daughter”, multiple unplanned levies.

Question,
If you truly trained her and truly spent on her, it will show in her character, skills, education, stability.
You won’t need to “over-compensate” on the list to prove it.

Ongoing support, not “collect and disappear”........

Traditionally, bride’s family didn’t just cash out and disappear,

they continued to support, advise, mediate, and guide the new couple

elders prayed, blessed, and sometimes corrected their own daughter when she was the problem,

Now?

Most families,

interfere when it benefits them
vanish when there is real problem
side their daughter blindly even when she’s wrong
still expect maximum respect + money flow + “in-law of the year” treatment.

Again, if we are using real tradition,
your role as bride’s family continues after the marriage. It’s not just “collect list & spray money.”

So what’s the actual point here?......

Not to insult Yoruba culture.
Not to say “women are bad” or “families are evil.”

The point is simple.....

You cannot demand full traditional obedience from a groom
when you did not fulfil your own traditional duties as the bride’s family.

If your daughter......

was not protected from abuse
was not supervised in courtship
was not raised with real Omoluabi character
was not properly equipped from your side

did not keep the “purity” you now weaponise
did not benefit from your ongoing moral support

…then be honest:

You are no longer operating full Yoruba tradition.
You are operating modern life + selective “tradition” for money and ego.
Fine. Life has changed. Nobody is perfect.
But then stop shouting:

“He must prostrate!”
“He must give us X, Y, Z because culture!”
“Registry alone is not marriage!”

If you want modern, do modern: registry + simple intro + mutual respect.
If you want tradition, then accept that tradition binds both families, not just the man.

Final questions for you.....

Can a family that didn’t uphold the traditional duties listed above still demand full prostration and heavy “list” with a straight face?

Shouldn’t we be honest that what many people call “tradition” today is edited tradition, mostly focused on what the man must pay and perform?
If submission is demanded from the woman, and prostration from the man, then where is the matching accountability from both families?

No insults, No tribal bashing
Just simple logic

This is a logical trap......

1) if you defend the current practice then you are admitting its not tradition

2) if you admit it is tradition then you accept the obligations of the bride's family

3) if you say "times have changed" then you have to stop demaning/expecting prostration/bride price

4) if you attack then you cant defend your own logic

5) if you ignore it you prove hypocrisy and fraud

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What exactly is your problem.

Were you made to prostrate while seeking the hand of a wife?

Is this your annoyance?

Fenrir:
Interesting 🤔, you offer a philosophical debate but because its the legality of an illegal attitude in one specific people you run away or ignore.

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What specific people.

Are you talking of the Yoruba?

For heavens sake there is nothing wrong with Yoruba tradition.

Prostrating is normal. It signifies respect for in laws and elders.

Fenrir:
Now go through the entire conversation between us.. go on and see who attacked first? Your petty ego took 2 words out of context "you lot" and you used them to try attack, didn't you little lady? And you are still doing it so this isn’t "stalking" its fair play BUT you are morally and ethically bankrupt and cannot take what try you give.

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Alright.

If you are interested in philosophical conversations let's do that.

If not, please just forget me.

Worever I have done to offend you, I apologise. And I do this out of a sense of humour.

Fenrir:
Hey.....deepsight "Shallowgaze"
I made a keepsake for you.
So you always remember your most favourite person "on earth"

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LordReed.... I have no choice but to ask you to see this. Did you see the attachment? What is that if not stalking?

Fenrir:
Hey.....deepsight "Shallowgaze"
I made a keepsake for you.
So you always remember your most favourite person "on earth"

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Funny boy/girl.

Look forget all that. If you are interested in philosophical conversations, so am I.

Let's drop the petty things.

Fenrir:
If arrogance to intelligence gaps were fatal drops, you’d qualify as a Lagos skyscraper.

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How are you today, chained wolf?

SkengRay:
Go play with Toys Kid

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Honestly!

cococandy:
Anyone who saw how he spoke about his own daughter and thought he wasn’t a pervy douche needs to have their brain examined. I don’t get their “surprise”.

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As in! The guy is a creep!

Addictions are addictions. We have seen cancer patients sneaking to smoke cigarettes.

Fenrir:
But my real problem is Yoruba. Prostration was never mandatory and never "begging for a bride"
Yoruba ancestors cared more about a man that will stand up straight AND treat the woman right over getting on his stomach AND abusing her later.
Look at Yoruba weddings today, pushing men to the ground and saying "beg harder" laughing and pointing. Thats not humility or respect. Thats public and ritual humiliation.

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Its a culture and it has deeper significance than what you have attributed to it in terms of humiliation. In fact it has nothing to do with humiliation.

Is that what you went through and is that your annoyance?

Look, you need to understand cultures before you deride them.

Fenrir:
Your wedding traditions for all tribes were for lineage guarantee "virginity" if the woman is a virgin at marriage. Then all men should absolutely do the traditions BUT if that woman lives a modern life with 100% sexual freedom, hook up culture and coded runs then the family have no right to scream traditions later and its always the fathers and uncles that pressure the couple by screaming "mandatory" when its no such thing. And federal law is very clear on it. The family have no say.
A couple can freely reject everything or some parts and the law will always side with the couple not the family.

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And what is my business with this gibberish, even leaving aside the fact that "we" in Nigeria are NOT one culture but a potpourri of over five hundred different ones?

Fenrir:
You begged 😂😂

You want me to leave Nigerian men alone? Stop lying about something as petty as culture. No other country does it.

All countries have hypocrisy but no other countries outright lie about wedding culture. its not the women that lie about it. Its the fathers and uncles.

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So according to you, your issue is Nigerian men lying about wedding culture?

Is that it?

Fenrir:
I didn't add anything, if you learn to read, you can go back and read it again because what I actually said is posted in multiple topics AND this one.

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Leave Nigerian Men alone. Thaz all. Other than that, enjoy your life.

Fenrir:
And you obviously cannot read..
Father = Swedish/Norwegian
Mother = Danish/Norwegian

Me = Norwegian/Swedish/Danish

Nationality and citizenship are completely different and its ridiculously idiotic that you confuse them.
Nationality is where you are born but citizenship is where you earn living or grow up.
You are lazy with logic and have clearly never left Nigeria.

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Worever.
I guess you also forgot you claimed to be Nigerian as well.

And British as well. Taught English by an Australian.

At some point you even added American.

Look it's not my business, I don't know you, you jolly well could be all countries, sha leave Naija men alone since we are the worst creatures in the world.

SkengRay:
Oh My . I loved how you exposed his Childishness . I'm definitely sure he's a 14 year old kid catfishing as a Scandinavian

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That one person has claimed to be Norwegian, Swedish, Danish, British and Nigerian and taught English by an Australian.
And yet, obsessed with Nigerian men only, who according to the creature, are the worst things on Earth.

Oya leave us na, e no gree.

Fenrir:
Fine, lets remind everyone THAT you begged.

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When? Where?

Jesus!

Sugarboyy:
Same multiple roads are also currently under repairs. In Edo state alone, roads repairs are currently ongoing on Benin/Sapele road, Benin/Agbor road, Benin/Auchi road, etc and they are all federal roads

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It remains a bad priority and chiefly instigated for theft at a cosmic scale.

Just look at the power situation with the grid still collapsing daily.

That's the kind of thing that is a real priority.

HacheNoire:
Damn! This is massive!

A lot of development will be coming up along that coastal road. Gas station, hotels and shopping malls.

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Lol. You imagine too much.

Fenrir:
And the funniest part?
“Who on Earth are you!” wasn’t rhetorical. That was genuine disorientation. Your mental model no longer has a slot for me. I wasn't an atheist troll, foreigner, debate partner, or clown. I slipped categories.

Do you want to continue AFTER publicly begging me to stop? And trying to offer a deal to "save face"

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Honestly, you are hilarious.

Fenrir:
I am a son of fire and frost
I am the truth given teeth
I am the freedom that cannot be caged
I am the wolfs kin

Loki was Fenrir's father. I am loki like.

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Fenrir is chained till Ragnarok

The Mob Movies made from the lives of some of these people are the best ever.

Fenrir:
Im Norwegian one of the 20% that doesn't fit there, do you know why?

Because im not your debate partner on your terms.
I wont submit to any cultures not even my own.
I wont submit to some family telling me what to do.

But I am "a chaos agent"

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Fair enough.
The gods will surely use the magic chain of the dwarves to chain Fenrir.

Fenrir:
You learned a valuable lesson "better the devil you.........."

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I dont think you are clueless philosophically. Lets stick to that.

Fenrir:
Yes! I am your atheist lord, come and bask in godless glory my child. Come step into the light of rational thought. 😂

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I'll make you a deal.

Stick to philosophy/ theology / existential discourses and we can have rational discussions.
PS: I do kid around a lot but rarely do people realize its play.

Fenrir:
I've reviewed your 216 topic submissions with some care, and certain patterns emerge that merit direct articulation rather than evasion.
You don't post casually, you post with fixation. Religion, atheism, delusion, morality, God, Islam, Christianity, evolution, Israel/Palestine, eugenics, terrorism, race, masculinity, women, social decay, years of it, threaded through with intensity. That isn't intellectual breadth, that's thematic rumination, the kind that suggests unresolved preoccupation rather than settled curiosity.
Your framing is overwhelmingly adversarial. Scan your own titles, hardly any are neutral inquiries. They're structured as challenges, indictments, exposés, "why X is wrong", "the barbarism of", "for simpletons", "test for delusion". That's a cognitive stance that treats the world as something to be defeated rather than engaged. It's combative by default, which means the combat itself has become the point.
Here's what I think happened between us. Your identity isn't rooted in being Nigerian, Christian, atheist or political. Your identity is being the contrarian intellectual, the one who sees through everyone else's constructs. When I arrived doing that same thing but without deference to your established position, your identity framework destabilised. That's when admiration flipped to hostility. You laughed at the verbose performance when it was amusing decoration. The moment it became competitive and established a different hierarchy, you pivoted to "psychosis". That wasn't disagreement, that was a status threat response.
And there's a behavioural symmetry worth noting. You accuse others of delusion, mental instability, irrational belief, obsession. Yet your own posting history demonstrates fixation, repetition, and an observable inability to disengage from certain arguments across literal years. I'm not diagnosing you, I'm simply pointing out the mirror you keep holding up reflects in both directions.
This isn't about racism in any crude sense. It's about territoriality of intellectual space. You've built a persona as the forum's resident skeptic, and someone walked in and occupied that same territory without asking permission. The issue isn't what I'm saying, it's that I'm saying it at all, here, in your established domain.
So let me be direct, I'm not leaving. I don't need your approval or your space. And the discomfort you're experiencing isn't my psychosis, it's your identity adjustment in real time.

Now the verbatim version and hope you enjoy little lady 😘.....

I have undertaken a comprehensive taxonomical survey of your 216 topical submissions, and certain behavioural architectures manifest with sufficient clarity to warrant unambiguous articulation rather than diplomatic circumlocution.
Your participatory methodology does not constitute casual intellectual recreation, rather it exhibits pronounced fixational characteristics. Religion, atheism, delusion, morality, divinity, Islam, Christianity, evolutionary biology, geopolitical Levantine conflicts, eugenic discourse, terrorism, racial taxonomy, masculine paradigms, feminine comportment, societal deterioration, sustained across longitudinal temporal intervals with observable intensity coefficients. This does not represent intellectual heterogeneity, this constitutes thematic perseveration, the symptomatology of which suggests unresolved cognitive preoccupation rather than epistemologically satisfied inquiry.
Your discursive framework demonstrates overwhelming adversarial architecture. I invite you to conduct an auto-analytical examination of your own titular nomenclature, whereupon you shall observe a conspicuous absence of neutral interrogatives. They manifest instead as confrontational propositions, prosecutorial indictments, revelatory expositions, constructions such as "the deficiency inherent to X", "the barbarism endemic within", "for intellectual simpletons", "diagnostic protocols for delusional cognition". This constitutes a psychological orientation that conceptualises external reality as adversarial territory requiring subjugation rather than collaborative terrain inviting engagement. Belligerence has transmuted from tactical methodology into existential raison d'être.
Now permit me to illuminate the interpersonal dynamic trajectory. Your psychological identity architecture is not fundamentally anchored in Nigerian nationality, Christian theology, atheistic materialism, nor political taxonomy. Your identity is constructed upon the foundational premise of being the contrarian intellectual, the singular consciousness capable of penetrating the illusory constructs obscuring everyone else's perception. When I materialised within this digital ecosystem demonstrating identical capability without demonstrating hierarchical deference to your established positional authority, your identity scaffolding experienced destabilisation phenomena. This precipitated the transformation of admiration into antagonism. You demonstrated mirth regarding verbose lexical performance when it functioned as aesthetically amusing ornamentation. The precise chronological juncture at which it transitioned into competitive intellectual positioning and established alternative hierarchical structures, you executed a rhetorical pivot toward "psychotic pathology". That was not intellectual disagreement, that constituted status threat defensive response architecture.
Furthermore, a behavioural symmetry merits observational notation. You systematically attribute to others delusional cognition, psychological instability, irrational epistemological frameworks, obsessive fixation. Concurrently, your own contributory historical record demonstrates fixational patterns, thematic repetition, and empirically observable incapacity to achieve disengagement from particular argumentative threads across literal calendar year intervals. I am not conducting clinical psychiatric diagnosis, I am merely illuminating the reflective apparatus you persistently deploy projects illumination in bidirectional vectors.
This is not fundamentally concerned with racism in any superficial definitional sense. This concerns territoriality of intellectual spatial domain. You have constructed a persona as this forum's residential epistemological skeptic, and an entity has manifested and occupied identical territorial space without soliciting authorization protocols. The substantive grievance is not the ideational content I articulate, it is the mere fact of my articulation occurring at all, here, within your established dominion.
Therefore permit me unambiguous directness, I possess no intention of territorial evacuation. I require neither your validation nor your spatial concession. And the psychological discomfort you are experiencing is not manifestation of my psychotic pathology, it is your identity recalibration occurring in observable temporal reality.
Pray do not misinterpret this as blowing big grammar, I am merely ensuring you receive maximum comprehension through your preferred linguistic frequency.

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Jesus is Lord! Who on Earth are you!

LordReed abeg follow me chee chomtin!

Fenrir:
I concur wholeheartedly that your manifest conviction regarding celestial telecommunications represents a marked preference for assertion over verification, and I harbour no trepidation in observing that when an individual claims privileged access to metaphysical ‘messages’, they have effectively immunised their beliefs against scrutiny by placing them beyond evidence. Furthermore, you materialise upon this digital platform chiefly to lament your nation’s predicament whilst maintaining a posture of comprehensive inertia regarding ameliorative action. Now permit me to offer a comparative observation: in my ancestral homeland the thoroughfares are maintained to a standard that renders disorder conspicuous rather than normalised; women traverse public space at any hour with materially lower apprehension of harassment; domestic security is less a daily obsession and more a contingency; and children are not routinely socialised under a model of authority that confuses intimidation with leadership. None of this is an indictment of every Nigerian man, but it is a critique of patterns that too many women themselves describe repeatedly and publicly, and it is precisely the existence of those patterns, not my presence on a forum, that appears to trouble you. And pray do not misinterpret my diction as ‘big grammar’; I am merely conducting an anatomical dissection of your rhetorical evasions using the only instruments you have thus far supplied: assertion, projection, and offence taking.”

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Yawn.