₦airaland Forum

realist34: Hmnn. Good one.
Pls what cld be wrong ....whenever I wanna start my engine ,either in the morning or anytime, I hear a 'crank' sound from the engine. Mercedes 190E.

Sound's so embarrassing.

That's
CRANK! When engine breaks down!

Chei!!! And this made the FP ? OMG! Anyway, since na free madness, make I kuku ma join.
Peeem peeem peeem! That's the honking sound of a truck!

Usher Raymond - U remind me

Dibiachukwu: It is now a crime to be a beggar
Who gave lagos state government all these rights?

Ikechukwu, open ya eyes and read well. Unless you are not in Lagos, most of those guys are not beggars. Go to Tincan Island to Mile 2 in the traffic, those who pose as beggars suddenly turn more vicious than daredevils in a twinkle of an eye if you wind then to give them something.
The report says some who needed help (mentally challenged) have been sent to mental homes or correctional units, those who are wolves in sheep's clothing (ogbonge shina Rambos) are being prosecuted. It is the right thing to do.

Don't be deceived. Those freed were part of the Boko Haram amnesty negotiations. They are boko haram guys whose release was negotiated. Its an undercover deal. You dont free prisoners, they serve their terms. Small or big crimes, they serve their terms.

Okay! So Seun self don dey scam us abi? Wasnt this supposed to be a Skales' video? Correct. Correct. I guess scamming runs in the blood...its a Nigerian thing. Let's go

Who wan die? Even if them slash am with sword to N200 people no go enter. Life bad but nobody wan die. Even self, the air hostesses are no longer the young pretty ones wey dey see before before. Na old ones wey don born pikins for house dey there now because death fit crash the aeroplane anytime.

[quote author=Sisi_Kill]Was banned by Py Guru last night before I could add this....HILARIOUS!!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VHxQH_g8dC0

I can't count how many kids I have seen do this...LOL!!!

It's amazing how they just keep keeping on, if adults embraced that kinda mentality for the things we..can you imagine what can be achieved?!! [/quote]Gawd! I fell off my seat laughing. This is one f the most hilarious vids I v seen in a long while.

oh mehn! I enjoy this. Finally something worth spending minutes reading and enjoying on Nairaland.
Chei! Kids do the dandiest things.

Lilimax: Grow up guy. He just presented a check list to us.
No need of the insult.

Dont mind the boy, na on keke marwa he still dey jump up and down

...and bullet proof vest in case of armed robbery attack.

jackbauersballs: We all know where they live though....

My stats show 170,000 out of the alleged 180,000 live in Benue. The remaining 10,000 is evenly distributed among the remaining states...

mistiff007: Scary....Protection all the way!

Scarpon: am going back to condoms

So na una dey enter those small small mosuito-legged HIV girls for that side ba? God don catch una today

You see! Isnt this exactly what i said he would say just before the broadcast?
I don become soothsayer o...log onto my webpage if you want me to tell u your future...payment method is mastercard or visa card...i dont do ATM or cash abeg. Babalawo don upgrade, na online divination we dey do now abeg.

Chei! So na like this dem dey spell the shoe self, 'Cortina'! Chei! That teacher for primary school don teach me nonsense! Or is this 'cortina shoe' the same as 'container shoes' before I talk self?

He just want tell us:
My fellow Nigerians, this is Goodluck, Ebele Jonathan, GCON, GFCON, GBDN, HIV, DFRCN, Prsident of Nigeria.
My fellow Nigerian people, I have heard your cries. My wife told me last night. But don't worry...we are on top of the situations in the country. We have set up different thousands of committees. Even me myself I am heading one of the committees so you can be rest assured that this is a fresh air. So, everything is okay. Just go about your daily business. Don't mind Boko haram and others. They are not serious. Let them continue to bomb us, we will survive. Pray. If you have been praying then pray harder...so that those who had no shoes before will continue to have shoes like me.'
Long life Nigerians! Long life Nigeria! Short life Boko haram!

Yep yep...brings back the memory of those good old nursery school days

Impressive! na wah o. And at 28, some bros still dey hustle with JAMB things for Naija...enter school at 30, graduate at 39, and serve NYSC as a 30yr old graduate Oh boy make God help us o.

Osheeee! Eja n la...

What exactly should we do after meal? You only provide the 'dos', what about the 'dont's'. I guess one should be 'dont talk after meal'...it increases your chances of vocal cancer by 98%... funny people.
Don't do that, do that, dont do that, do that...crazy world. Why not say 'don't wake up after sleeping, it can lead to unwanted pregnancy'.

phoenix! Re-incarnation!

Dont eat carbonhydrate...it builds up sugar in your body
Dont take proteins....too much leads to skin sagging
Dont take too much vitamins...makes your body dependent on it for survival
Dont take minerals....kills ur body cells
Dont take fat and oil...makes you ovrweight....

Una don dey madt. so na wetin make we come dey chop? Stone? You eat sugar, dem say one thing one thing; you chop noodles, same story, take hotdog, not good, add saccharin, full of chemical, drink wine, bad for your health, soak garri, your eyes are in trouble, drink akamu, your bladder don die, eat beans, your colons are in trouble, chop choco, teeth don enter one chance, WETIN MAKE WE COME DEY CHOOOOOPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP oooooooo?

Tolexander: you should have started by telling us your own story!



There was this young pretty gurl that was 6years old then in my class, primary 2. I was just 7years. She stayed not far from the school and her house was by my route to our primary school. She did sit between the headmistress son and i.
I loved talking to the gurl but she wouldn't give me any attention, she always prefered playing with the headmistress' son like many other pupils in the class.
One day, i discovered during the break, these my sitting partners(the gurl and headmistress' son) left the class together and moved towards the school library. I jealously thought in my mind where my sitting partners were going and started stalking them. Latter they entered into the school library where many school pupil hardly went during the break cos they would try to get themselves something to eat.
I waited outside for 5minutes and just banged in, saw them in between the table and chair at the last end of the library with the guy having his short half drawn down leaning on the gurl with her paint off. I told them God catch you today! i will tell uncle. They started pleading with me and i told them the only condition i wouldn't tell uncle which is i would have my own sex with the gurl. They consented to my condition and started with the gurl when the headmistress son was done.
I discovered the headmistress son had disappeared and the next thing i saw were our mates coming towards us. The god forsaken headmistress son had gone to tell them the gurl and i were having sex.
They reported us to the headmistress and the next thing to bring our parents the following day after beating a hell out of us.
We told our mates that the headmistress son was there but they wouldn't listen cos they very like the headmistress son and wouldn't rope him in.

I dont doubt your story. I had a similar experience in primary 4, a not-so pretty girl in my class and two of my very best friends, during the break, went up to our hostel and in-between the cupboards in the room, I just saw the girl pants down n the boys happily jumping up n down like, hey ...(called my name), 'come and see'...the girl was there like that not-so pretty but nice body so I believe it must have happened to you...besides, there were so many cases like that I encountered in primary school oooooo...so forget, na from small all boys don spoil. Even the prettiest girl in school then (well, by my own standards) once opened her 'coughs' for me make I enter the place...in my wildest dreams. So, bro, things dey happen o...unless no be school you go.

[quote author=truelove.com]truelove.com[/quote]Na you get those lips abi u borrow join?

This is sooooooo coooool. lolz. Nice guy. He's gonna have thousands of girlfriends before he clocks 15 - A smooth, articulate talker.

wbankz: See wetin dey make front page nw 4 nairaland!!! Nawa o o 4dis seun self. Beta topics full ground o

Thank you my bros...na so so yeye irrelevancies dey make FP when my story plenty inside there Seun with him 3 3 belle no gree send dem go FP....instead, dem just dey remix my story give credit to someone else.
And to imagine I log on to this site every hour of the day to check whatsup when i for just use my time do something else
As for that kolo guy wey wan travel by sea go USA, go Tincan Island, ask those agent guys, dem fit get idea as to how many years e go take dem cargo u to US...hopefully, less than 3 years all things being equal.

He must have been dicking her since she was 12....confirm!

yuzedo: Op, bro, I hav a bad haBbit. sometim if nepa took lit in Banana Island, I normaly fill lonly. So I rob vaseline on my left hand, rob it on my write hand, pool down my g-string, and I...........................................

Soooooo, woz d topick anyway?

Why use rob? Why not Chinese balm! murrrrrfucccca...

Use the 10k to buy a business plan handout...

I posted this same story (with picture) May 9, 2013. How come mine never made the front page but this guy's? Na wah o. Anyway, Nairaland is still part of Nigeria....rigging n corruption na part of una ways. Seun Osewa, sey u see as una dey run una things abi? U na don dey madt!

Send this to Chico Ejiro, Emeka Ike to be the husband, Desmond Elliot the brother -in-law and Stella Damascus the 'cheerful giver'...proposed title: MISTAKEN LOVE! Part 1...

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