₦airaland Forum

That's easy na...fried plantain, chicken noodles (tortoise like the chicken brand) and a chilled bottle of 50cl coke or pepsi (they don't like sprite because of the carbon, its not good for their shell). Make sure the dodo is soft very well and always use vegetable oil, it helps tortoise's bald heads. Do this 3 times a day...don't prepare and keep o, just prepare it 3 times a day every day...for 400 years (you know tortoise live long na).
That should help.

If they werent rich and famous, I swear dem no go clean streets abeg. Na who una dey monkey for here? Clean with swag and creating more public awarenes for una next singles abi...I nor buy abeg!

Because the door is locked!

I thought u saw them with your two ears before ni... yeye boy.
RIP to the dead o....
but this age things don spoil finish. When u see something wrong going on, instead of u to call the appropriate authorities to address the issue, na twitter, facebook n NL u dey open on ur fone while running for ur life...Soon, updates on NL would be like 'I swear I am running for my life now now as i am typing this post because hired killers are pursuing me. I just dodged a bullet now...and another one...yeeee! this one hit my left leg...'

Sharrap! Murrrrra fuckkkkkka!

Interviewer: As a responsible, highly regarded, no-nonsense, patriotic former Nigerian Head of State, what are you doing Sir to help with the present security challenges facing Nigeria?
Buhari: Jonacan should resign. That's the way out!
Interview: i mean in your capacity, how are you presently helping to build this nation in this dire time?
Buhari: Wallahi! Jonthan should resign!
Interviewer: Is that your contribution Sir?
Buhari: Aboki, I dey craze? I say Jonathan must resign!
Interviewer: So when or if he resigns, there will be peace?
Buhari: Wallahi, yio wa!
Interviewer: But if he doesnt resign, there will be no peace?
Buhari: Wallahi I too dey ask silly silly question. I don vex sege mallam. If Jonacan I no resign, Allah, I will command Boko Haram to continue and I will bomb of all us comot for Nigeria. Ka ji ko?

Jesus! Please save us oooooo. Jesus!
But nna maka-why you come wear Chelsea jersey dey do this kind thing na? Arsenal jersey nor dey market again abi Man U jersey? Na wah o.
But this is a wicked world o. Heartless, blood-crazy world! Jesus!

[quote author=Texas.Cowgirl]Of course. Bulls only, no roach please. So, you're out.

Anywaz, thread unfollowed jare lmao.[/quote]Have fun babe. You know how we roll on NL...we aint monsters in real life sha o . Cheers

[quote author=Texas.Cowgirl]Unfortunate for who, per say? [/quote]For you na! Who else? There is only one COW on nairaland...and that's 'Texaco Cowbell' But hey! Don't look sad. One day soon, a bull will stroll down ur way and you guys can ....

[quote author=Texas.Cowgirl]Lol ppl dey vex o.
On normal days, I wouldn't even reply, but this is fun

I think Delors might be the ugly guy in the picture dressed in oversized handkerchief[/quote]Lolz. Cow, I swear if u see me u got wet sharp sharp. Its just unfortunate I don't do cows...

Jobig: Every crab makes headline

You meant 'crap' abi? Yeah, i was going to say the same too until u murdered grammar! I recommend Brighter Grammar II for big Jo...

[quote author=Texas.Cowgirl]Nice cow. Is that you?[/quote]haha, noo na..its u na. Ok, I ll make u look better...here, check yourself out again babe

[quote author=Texas.Cowgirl]So, which one of your boy lovers did I abuse there? Abi your papa be the one in cowboy hat?[/quote]Heyyy! Chill out Cow! I was just kidding babe, abi pesin nor dey follow you play play ni?
you know say I lof u pass jollof...I cant BEEF you na, na u be the real BEEF . I was just kidding babe...take a chill pill.

[quote author=Texas.cowgirl]Never seen so many ugly men in one picture embarassed

So which one of the Psquares recent had a baby he's denying?[/quote]

gen2briz: Then you've to go for eyes surgery

Haba! Dont be mean to the cowgirl! Nor be eye surgery she need. Na brain replacement! a fish brain would be better housed in that her thick skull to serve the eyes well...
By the way Texas chic, Paul is handsome, Peter is handsome, shortingo is handsome (ask his wife), that man beside Uncle Jonathan was handsome when he was P-square's age, and of course Chief Jonathan is ransom as well...

I think Linda Ekeji and Seun Osewa have a partnership - business or 'personal' irrecspective of their age difference. Because I honestly dont understand why Linda's blog contents are being transferred to NL's FP, sensible or otherwise, while other better better stories are relegated to the background.
Seun is a politician!PDP!
Ban me, who cares!

yuzedo: Bro, i was outside the country the other day and got "seduced" by a girl, well, we ended up in my hotel room and when i off my boxers she shout "JEEEESOS! Are you from Nigeria?? Omg, what? You want to injure me with dat NEPA pole?!?! No no, i not do again." True story bro, true story!

Outside the country? That must be Cotonou!

I think Chelsea did! They had a more interesting and adventurous season than man United. Check the stats, last year to this year, the most searched club on google was Chelsea! The club with the fastest growing fan club base (registered fans i mean) is chelsea! I can tell you that even non-chelsea fans know the name of every chelsea player, but how many kids around can tell you all the eleven regulars in Man United? And finally, regardless of what Man United fans think about Europa league, they would have been happier to be in that league after dropping out of the UCL but because they always find a way to discredit Chelsea's adventures, they say Europa league is less prestiguos to the EPL, but tell them to check the worth of each trophy in terms of revenue and popularity.
My verdict: ChELSEA had a more interesting season than MAN UNITED...even ROONEY and RONALDO are considering switching to the club! That should tell people something.

But cant dey at least do some photoshop on this guy's pictures? How can my president be this ugleeeeee?

Praise the Lord! alliham dullilhai!
Nor go dey chop their food anyhow make dem no for reverse the appointment o. Cos i know say u like food pass anything.
But anyhow anyhow, Congratulations DEER!

Good question! Nothing really elaborate u know, being your first interview. Just look moderate and professional like this.

Jesus! I thought I read '2SHOTZ' dead!!!!! Jeez! What a title!

Nice song, but is she/he a Nigerian or south African?

easy on her people. She needs a horseband...Correction #husband#

Well, at least if something is not pursuing you, you must be pursuing something...

'ASOUP' strike? Stew nko?

He wasnt angry oooooooooo! It was just a 'mock story' cooked up for attention. Check Givemefootball.com to confirm and see the video and enjoy the fun. How can he claim to be a good musulumi when he has been yanshing teenage girls at strip clubs?

the first girl has a very cute nose and the lips are nice but there is something about the forehead that reminds me of 'calamity'

[quote author=nu-well]OP, I appreciate what you're getting at, jare. Although its unfortunate that a bunch of clowns found the thread first, you post is insightful. Well done.[/quote]Clown. Is that why u posted the same thing twice? You say this is insightful? Abeg no make me laugh. Somebody just wake up and say "when I flush in the toilet, the water makes this sound 'shiiiiiiii' please what is wrong with my toilet or is it my poooh?"...Now thats very very insightful . clown!

Of course.

Please gimme the address of the church. Next Sunday worship sharp sharp. I hope na 3 services dem dey get per day sha

[quote author=Xavier's] What about VROOOMM!!! VROOOOM!!!!!!!!!!! .....?[/quote]VROOOOM! When u use broom sweep your friend's car.

naijainfogalery: What About the sound Gbaaaaaa!

Gbaaaaaaaa! When u jam electric pole!