₦airaland Forum

Epic fail!

in 2011, there was no other credible candidate...besides, no one knows the future. No one could have accurately predicted that things would turn out this way. I swear if I had voted for Buhari, I would have wept out my eyes now becos that guy is on of the most draconian bigots around...so, its a gambler's situation, we all take chances...but chances are if i find a more credible candidate come 2015, i just might vote out Jonathan...that is if I can vote online ni o....

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Chei! Wetin I go find for Gboko ooooooo? Chei! chei! Ewooo! Bad market! I nor even trust this condom self. Chei! 1 in every four girls...chei! Tamio, Terver, Teegu, Dooter, Bad market! I don die! and this yeye people nor fit show us this yeye statistics before I go there abi?

Anyway, I choose to believe that the statistics is wrong as usual...I refuse to accept the statistics....

Wait wait wait....first. is it the accumulation of unpaid tuition that is 300k/400k or tuition fee per session? Why the f is that freaking expensive? ...not even a private school o...

dulaman: This Osaze Odewinge of a guy. cant you just stop complaining?

Aboki u drink sepe? Abi na madness?

Emmanuel602: Secound to commend don allah

Na wah o! This ur grammar get as e be o...Abi na ur 'oga at the top' talk say make u type am like dat?

Correct Jam! Even Wizkid plus Jay Z nor fit sing this kind powerful song...joor o!

obailala: Abuja consumes more alcholol, tobacco and narcotics than Lagos?.. Interesting!!

Wonder how these guys get their statistics

I tire o...Lagos wey be say almost every house has a 'sepe' joint! Alcohol consumption in Mushin alone gan self should beat the whole of Abuja!
Perhaps our statisticians self don dey 'seperise'

fredopayee: That was stupid reasearch.. Accra cost more dan lagos. And even capital of ivory cosat cost more dan lagos too.

Never! I once stayed in Accra and with the little amount I told there i enjoyed myself maximally. A young taxi driver picks me up in the mornings...and some bad babes already ready to help matters. !

What a coincidence... I was just playing his tracks this morning as if I knew today was his birthday.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOUNG HUSTLER!
AK47 Ko baaa! Bee lo se ma je!
YBNL

The logo be like Iraq flag!!!!

Seen it. Almost the same thang, aint nothing different from the previous one!

purpinkx: 3 people per club'll do you know ... For backup

Yeah, yeah, correct. Each for each tribe - Yoruba, Ibo and Hausa! Equal representation...just run the commentaries in the different languages so everybody go fit understand, no ojoro!

RedBenson: She Refused To Accept Me Cos Am A Chelsea Fan, Is She Normal?

Having my 'blues' T-shirt actively on me this evening after a 2-2 draw match wit Man-U, i just met dis pretty chik when i began to toast her. After much and aggressive yarning, she said she cant give her no. cos am a chelsea fan?

Pls is that a good reason for a lady to reject a handsome and vibrant young man like me?

Bros, I sure say na ur grammar fall ur hand...nor be becos u be chelsea fan.

Well, since everyone is now a teacher, let me preach mine too.
128 COURTSHIP THINGS FOR 'COURTSHIPPERS'
1. Watch and shadow
2. read each other like Hadley Chase novels
3. Be weary of Nollywood films, nt all is about love!
4. Watch less of Bollywood films, it unnecessarily prolongs your courtship
5. Watch less of hollywood films, otherwise u guys will yansh each other die and will never get married eventually
6. Protect your social media passwords
7. Expect the worse when u come home late from work
8. Dont trust the word 'trust' especially when money is involved
9. Run from Mr. Biggs, TFC, etc someone is hiding her poor cooking skills
10. If You must LOVE UR NEIGHBOUR AS YOUR SELF', at least make sure she is better than ur partner
11. 'THEY LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER' only features in cartoons. Don't be deceived
12. Check your spellings, dont type 'I hate this 'WIFE' when u actually meant 'I HATE THIS LIFE'. It is always unexplainable
13. Dont ask about your pasts...he could have had it with ur younger sister in the days of his 'unknown'.
14. Just be ready to spend money either way, because woman is synonymous to money, and man is synonymous to ATM
15.....
16...
17....
18....
19....
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126...
127. Always test drive ur 'machines' at least every weekend. Its for ur own security o
128, finally, remember it is better to be happily single than to be sadly married.


Oya, talk your own!

She looks okay...but NOT HOT!
Sey na everything dem wear we go dey debate 'HOT or ROT' on?
Make una go siddon joor

k2039: [color=crap] [size=13pt] It's good to be a superstar.
[/size][/color]

Not just a superstar o! A superstar with a very active 'instrument' to service anybody at any time...and get pikins from 5 different ladies...plus u must be handsome and sabi speak pidgin die.
TUBABA! I HAIL THEE!!!!

aminho: Uncle Seun andAunty mukina cnt we organize a party to celebrate nairaland meet each other knw our friends cus we came a long way class of 2008 were are u guys?

Wait na! Y u dey rush? Na when we clock 10 years we go celebrate na...how many people dey celebrate 8years old?

Correct! Happy birthday to the School of Nairaland...we the students nor dey carry last at all at all...

Bros, na over skill dey kill monkey o and na over confidence worry Goliath that time...
If woman dey too confident for my side, bros, na race i go pick o...that kind one fit shlaaaaap ur face for public and ask u 'So, I slap u, eh eh, wetin u wan do?'

Make una comot there joor! na everything una dey come up with 'WETIN WOMEN WANT WITH MEN'! Una dey weed?
The last time, na 21 things wey women want with us, another time, 45 things women want men to do, yet another time, 101 things women expect from men...una wan kill us? If we go on industrial strike, who go dey 'help' una do the things?
Abegggggggggggggg!

How can we have all these things at once, we be 'god'?

Oya, the following are WETIN MEN WANT FROM WOMEN'
-Beauty
brain
brilliance
intelligence
honesty
unselfishnes
ungreediness
deligence
gratefulness
contentness
merciful
lovliness
uncraziness
unlaziness
happiness
'cookiness'
uncrookedness
'unclothedness'
'unnakedness'
unmadness
sexiness
gentleness
unlousiness
attractiveness
smartness
sharpness
coolness
'unbad-belleness'
untalkativenss
unjealousness
peaceable
lovable
amiable
able
capable
formidable
unseparable
'fathomble'
'uninflammable'
immovable
removable
'ballable

oya, give us all that and we go love una die!!!!!

NYSC is a sheer waste of time...big time! I experienced it! I risked my life (as others too)! I dont even make reference to the jobs I did at NYSC on my resume! Its just a waste of time, talents and life! After spending (4 + X) years at school, sit at home for about 6-10months before call up comes and then another one full year of underemployment, insecurity and unproductivity (in the name of NYSC), what happens next? You are left to either swim or sink in the messed up labour market! Na wah o
I barely escaped with my life after serving one year in Maiduguri when Boko haram started years back...I just dont know if these govt guys are measuring if this program still adds value to the economy! Such a waste of everything! We spend almost 10 years after secondary school on education...when we aint planning on becoming professors! In North America, 22-24 year olds are Masters students but for my country, na 40years dey do masters after wasting years for nothing!

coogar: it's official.....
nigeria has a rap[color=#000000]e[/color] culture.

Wrong bro! Rape culture is universal...its everywhere...happens daily worldwide.
BTW, those boys should be castrated before being sent to prison because if after 10 years, they 'prison-break', several other minors will be vulnerable!
My verdict!

Ramires? Red Card!
david Luiz? Red Card!
Ashley Cole? Yellow Card!
Eden Hazard? Kick the boy or ball, na still Yellow card!
Torres + Ba? Yellow card (2 can share)!
Na wah o...why must this spider webb always officiate Chelsea's important matches?

OMG! I just cant stop laughing! So many LEARNERS in the house!!!

NOT HOT!

U fit wear singlet and boxers go ur own interview na...

...But hope say the snakes are dead sha? Make e no go bite my lip as I dey gulp down 'shayo' from the bottle (without a cup of course)

bappahman: They reason for the broom is to serve as a cleaning instrument cos nigeria is in serious need of cleaning...it also symbolises collective unity...united we stand.

Bros, which kind cleaning instrument? Dem no fit use 'vacuum cleaner'?

Na wah o! How unattractive and bush-ish... The hand no even wear wristwatch. How dem go know when time don reach? SMH