₦airaland Forum

^^^ ;d

You hv no chance with him. Not a good one if he doesn't find you attractive. He will gladly do you.
Your best bet will be to be good friends with him for a  while and kinda grow on him. In the mean time, find replacements.

@Aloy_Emeka
On mzdarkinskin yansh / jeans - GBAM
On men mastering the art of looking without been noticed - totally on point
On boobs - well it depends on the guys preference for boobies or yansh

Cheating / Lies / Dishonesty / Lack of trust.
Any of those happen once, I walk away.

She is 33, no longer a kid! She let herself get continuously raped, and by her younger sister's husband? C'mon she doesn't need advice, if she can't handle herself, she should continue from where she stopped.

not really

;d

Yes, very advisable. Go ahead.

@El Guapo
I believe relationships are crazy and stressful enough as it is, and you should focus on one at a time. Of course, there will be the occasional one that catches one's fancy but it is the ability to focus on what you hv that shows maturity.

^^^ wht do you mean by making an output move?

Poster is the backup option. By design, backup options dont kick in till the original plan fails. That is one reason, it is foolish to chase other peoples gfs.

@sisimmi
Leave the guy! You need to start afresh and rediscover love. Baby,  Start afresh with me. I am a much better guy for you. Even tho I have no job and many girlfriends, I am sure I hv room for you in my heart. I will prove to you that a guy without a job doesn't hv to be crazy and violate you. I won't be jealous if you bring home the money or if you do anything with Mr. Honorable (its ok to do so, after all we both hv side shows).

I will be at home waiting for you tonight to wipe your tears away (or beat up your ex bf/fiance/husband). My address is Plot 656D Lokoja Street,Aread 7, Garki Abuja.

I Love You  .
deniyor

I will let her go. She will come back to see her stuffs outside the gate with all locks changed.

Like someone said, you are 30 not 20 . You are too old for most Ibo guys (srry no offense to anyone). By the time you factor in the time to get over this relationship (fully heal), meet someone new, court and marry, you are talking another minimum 2 yrs. By then you will be 32ish. Now the competition for the younger versions of you (20 -23 ) will start.
Your chances are getting slimmer. Leave the guy, and start over. You might be lucky to meet someone and start fresh. Or you might be an old maid at 40 and your uncles, aunties and pastor will ship you off to anyone that shows interest with or without your consent.
Maybe, like you said, your pastor is always right. He foresaw /said  you two would never marry ( of course he is wrong there already - maybe he meant in his church or his lifetime). What your pastor never said is you will ever marry. Read btw the lines .

@poster,
I can understand what you are going through. I know how these things can affect a relationship. I was without a job for almost a yr and it broke me. Thank God I had a strong wonderful woman who means the world to me now. I also know what it means in past relationships for stress and fighting to make you fall out of love or just lose the feelings. But the reality is those feelings don't ever go away totally. You need a clean break and desire to start over again with each other if you must make it work.
You do not feel that way, but the fact is you are not his gf, you are married. Yes it was a sham but it wasn't a sham you would hv readily done with any guy on the street. You did it with someone you loved and almost married b4. Someone who sees you as his life partner. Life has dealt you both a cruel blow.

From his email, I can tell you one thing, you will be a foool not to accept this guy and try rediscover the love you both had. I feel he is the real deal for you. He has made mistakes, yes, but you knew all that b4 you 'married' him. Forgive him. Learn to love again without grudges. All the best in whatever decision you choose.

I think it is a nice thing. Good for unity. It has it few challenges too as Nigeria isn't yet very mature about it. As you are probably finding out, one of the disadvantages will be the kids unable to speak the language. You might hv to go the extra mile to teach them the two languages, and / or enrol them in a language sch. But really, the kids won't be missing much.

@Poster grow a pair. when you date a girl, only you and the girl hv a say in your relationship, not her folks or yours. The girl has no respect for you or her body. Her mum is immature. You are dumb and weak. Quite a dynsfunctional family you will make.
I suggest you totally ignore the girl and her family. If she threatens you, you either ignore her empty threats or you threaten right back. Whichever floats your boat. Years ago, I was as dumb as you are right now, and I know it never ends well. The only difference is I had no one to insult and guide me thru it, and had to learn everything the hard way. So from experience, I can tell you, just stand your ground. The girl and her family should cease to exist. As for your ashewo gf, tell her to call me on --- ---- ---- ----

This has nothing to do with the poster being patient blablabla etc. He is just a weakling

Marry her asap!


What a dumb as#!

Dude, get your own girlfriend! dont mix friendship and relationship up, its not the same thing and leads to complications.

First of all, I do not believe in divorce, but my rules and philosophy applies to me. I also abhor cheating whether in marriage or in relationships. Throw all your xtian / divorce rules away cos you already compromised all that with your pre-marital sex.

Dude, you wife neither respects nor love you. She has told you subtly and in her actions. She told you 1. she falls out of love in 6 months 2. She only kisses sm1 she loves. Translation - "your six months are up and I am no longer in love with you. I will still marry you cos I can't stand being unmarried or dumped again".

Your mistake was to go ahead with the wedding when you saw all the scary signs. The truth is you did not call off the wedding, not cos you had sent out all the invites but cos you were too scared to move on. Your wife knew that also, and wasn't afraid to show her true colors early on. It is obvious from your entire post that you are weak man. You beg and cry for sex from your wife also points to that. Your two years of no punnany b4 you 'remet' your wife also indicates your limited choices with women ie. no game or chance of even cheating.  But you know, not everybody can be strong. And you do not hv to cheat to be a strong / manly man.

Talk to your wife. Gently and FIRMLY tell her what you want. Ask her what she wants from you too. Try to understand what might need to be done to enable you get what you want. Let her know you get it or you walk away. ( From the gist of your story, I expect she will tell you to go to hell). Unfortunately, you will hv to divorce your wife. Your life is too short to waste.
After your divorce, start life afresh, and learn to look and run away from those scary habits that women exhibit.

I feel bad for you. You could hv avoided all this by mustering the courage to be strong, at least that once in your life.
I apologise if I sound harsh but it is what it is.  Good luck

Easy thing, when I discovered my oldman had another woman, I just blackmailed the old man for money, beer, groundnuts and boli( roasted plantain). Like all men, I hv a price

This is not about being naive. Sometimes people are angry cos they are not kept involved. This is a case that his wife should hv been aware of long b4 they got married. If his wife knows he sends money to his mum regularly, she won't start raising hell about it suddenly. I will not marry a woman who will not take my mom as her own and vice versa. She will even learn to keep the mom in the household budget. I do not see any reason for the cloak and dagger.

Srry not married!
Has a man ever gone down on you b4? If yes, whats new now that you are married.
If no, gurl, you don't know what you hv been missing.

I do not see why she can't know. After all we are a family and plan our resources together.

Do nothing.
Even tho he is your best friend, a relationship btw two people is a very private thing and should remain so. So mind your business. If he decides to tell you , fine. If he doesn't, it is none of your business.

Get her back at your own risk. Call her and invite her out for smth. Then talk to her in person. Tho I sense you are history already.

dont read them

If it was me, and I was single, I would hv done the deed a long time ago. If I am not interested in a relationship, I will keep her as a dry spell customer. She gets to enjoy the goods whenever I call. No questions asked

Me thinks the issue here is all about class. If she was a student or someone of a higher class, I don't think you would hv posted the story.
Anyways, you never know when good things are round the corner. I will say if you are not ashamed to be seen with a fish seller, go ahead. Do what you want to do (or hv to do) with her. The fact that she is vulnerable, naive or whatever the case may be does not mean you can't enjoy yourself. Forget scare tatics, no one is immune from heartbreak. Explore your relationship with her and see where it can lead to. If you don't like what you see, break up with her in your usual breaking up style.

Beync:
the poster is not sayin her bf is not gud at sex, but he isnt romantic, ie,no playin, no steps, he just jump into her and ride like bicycle, just like that and dats not enough for her. jus my thought.

goes back to the point that he is not good at sex. Maybe he is not good at romance too!