₦airaland Forum

agitator: guy your head correct so? why u come start this mumu topic, dey converse with yourself. Girls no dey ask out broke guys like you. make your pepper rest first and leave the rest for the girls.

Lol... U wan make them come reap where them no sow abi?

Jyde89: have you thought about the greedy ladie's with little or no regard for thier female counterpart to the level of seducing her man, when sharing the blame's be sure to save some for your selve's, charity begin's at home.

Gbam! Thanks brah... They only know how to point fingers at otherz..

achukwunet: The perfect Nigerian woman:
she must be beautiful and flawless, while they on the other hand never take care of themselves (physically speaking) and never show the slightest ounce of romance.


In just about every song you hear, Nigeria men have a smooth way to talk about their sweeties.

1) D'banj- "My sweet Potato"
2) Flavour Nabania- "My Jollof Rice" "My Tomato Juice"
3) Wizboy- "My Fotojenik", "Screen Saver"



*And a couple others....


-The tomato in my rice
-The only fish in my aquarium
-The sugar in my tea
-You are the only sugar in my tea, the only cockroach in my cupboard.
-I love you, oya talk your own
-I want to know you berra sweetie
-I want to harvest you
-It seems like I have seen you somewhere before
-My pastor said I would meet the woman of my dreams today, praise the lord he is correct.
-Shey you believe in love at first sight abi make I waka pass again?


But then when it comes to reality, they're not romantic! With all the beautiful women we have in Nigeria, our men should be moving heaven and earth to be romantic to make her feel good. I know these are just songs, but someone needs to say that there's nothing romantic about these pickup lines. SO, WHY ARE NIGERIA MEN NOT ROMANTIC?

Babe, 9ja guys are more than romantic. You gurlz are just to blind to take cognizance of what we do to bring about romance. All naija gurlz care is how the guy should spend money on you and all that crap. 9ja gurls' definition of a guy being caring for instance is how much he's able 2 lavish on u gurlz. Just imagine. @OP, una dy gree accept greeting card again 4 buffday? Hell no! If I buy flower give u, no b stone u go use am stone me? Na flower I wan chop? The list will go on and on... 9ja gurl romantic? Make I put hand 4 fire if dm gree dy romantic

[quote author=gree-die]... And how do you plan to accomplish your mission, mr do good? Lol[/quote]Well, you can regale me by telling your shortcomings,then we'll see how to patch it up... Lmao

buchibabe: Its just d greedy nature of men.its natural. No b today e start,no mata how good looking,hardworking,Godfearin a woman is,whosai! A man wil always look outside.

So ladies,no think say ur guy na saint o. U get assistant wife or gf somewhere

Gurl! Lock up! The way it is now, its a two-way traffic. Men and women alike are both guilty of this menace called "UNFAITHFULNESS". One silly thing about ladies (with all due respect 2 all the ladies in the houz) is that they complain here and there and whine over men's unfaithfulness, whereas when they happen to meet one of the few of us that are good, they take advantage of the guy and become the player. What do u think would be the guy's next move if not to go out there with the intention making others pay for the sin commited by one person. It only takes a principled person like me to stand my ground as being a faithful guy always. You wonder y I and some other people like me dont give a damn about relationships? Its cuz unlike men, most gurlz are full shit and I wont allow a gurl treat me based on the fault of some other person. So, newsflash! Its squarely on both sides of the equation. There are but a few special individuals on both sides that holds faithfulness in high regards. I'm one of them, I dont know about u...

pato405: guy relax. no girl is worth it, particularly the current generation of Nigerian girls. they are all out for their own self-centred gains. it's always about what you have to offer them and their diminutive brains forget so easily. they hardly reflect about the good tyms you had with them when things get rough for you. they expect gifts on daily basis and expect you to call and send recharge cards to their phones as if MTN is your family business. many of them can't confidently cite instances of when 'for once' they made meaningful sacrifices for their man. - always quick to jump to another man who can lure them with material things and compare you with other guys.

have you ever stopped to wonder why guys with nice rides sweep the off their feet with unbelievable ease? a girl once told a friend of mine that she can't date a guy who doesn't have a car o! that was about 2yrs ago. apparently she was trying to let him know she cant date him o! i advised him not to bug himself over her. today, my friend has 2 sweet rides. The last tym we spoke on phone, he told me about how relentlessly the same lady has been making overtures of friendship/relationship to him, and asking him why he no longer cares about her. this was after she gave the girl a ride in his '09 BMW. she was all full of praises and admiration for my friend. to make matters worse for her, my friend instantly told her that that's his second car, the first being an 06 4Runner (his elder bro in US sent to him about the same time he bought his BMW which he wants to sell)

I guess OP is probably not loaded with spondulicks, solid brass . If he were, I bet ya', that girl wont think twice about screaming 'yes'.''heart break'' kor, headbreak nii..''time to recover'' my luvless ass* many (with the exception of an infinitecimal few)9ja babes only understand the pecuniary language. the ones who are not after money are usually either working class or prolly from wealthy homes. the problem with such ladies from the wealthy side again, relates to attitude. they feel they are comfortable, no man should order them around, they are not ready to take instructions from any man, humility is not in their dictionary, neither will they allow any man as lord over them. they are often very loutish and they prattle at the slightest provocation. those ones are even worse. little wonder you see them ageing without a stable relationship, rather it's series of heartbreak they lament about. then they harp about men being jerks.

9ja babes get wahala no be small. a re-orientation is needed as fast as possible to change their mindset about what luv really means. one thing I notice is that they are usually very quick to blab about 9ja guys being jerks and not being romantic. In such cases, I ask the how romantic are the ladies themselves. no man will want to lose a woman with virtues. I have resolved to desensitise my emotions when dealing with them. I' more or less emotionally numb now o! they are not just worth it. I know many will criticise my post as generalising these issues to all girls, but sadly, it's the truth. our generation of girls have lost it.

You damn right bruv.. U r emotionally numb? It seems its not just about I myself & @2sexy, u are now included. Lol. Welcum 2 d club of "NO TIME FOR EMOTIONS" GALZ BEWARE!!!

[quote author=gree-die]im not sure! Maybe im more of D but i really want to be C.... Lol[/quote]Dont worry, I can help u become more of C than D. Lmmfao

sadeiyare: Ladies : I am happy some guys are responding personally to this question(s).You can even be friendly and go a step further to ask the said guy you are interested in questions to know his heart ( likes, dis-likes, ideal wife e.t.c, just like guys do), and even try to know how he will respond if proposed to by a lady he admires, and see qualified to be his wife

Yeah! You right brah.. Personally, I am very reluctant in approaching women. I dont knw why buh I'm not just too enthusiastic about it. If a woman should approach me and she has the core features I crave for, wetin I go say I dey wait for... Lol

2sexy: My sister, you can't blame 190. I am also a victim. It's so bad that my heart is almost dead to feelings for any girl at the moment. I am even scared of myself at the moment so that I don't end up hurting someone. It will take a whole lot work for any serious lady to bring me back.

Even the girl I am with now also contributed to it because initially when I was after her, she did abuse my rights for being cool. Though I told her about my previous experience but out wanting to prove what I don't know, she added to my injury.

Now she wants a relationship and we are in it, at the same time I don't feel anything anymore. This might make the relationship boring. I havent felt like calling her for some days.

This is what heartbreak has caused. I am not attracted to any girl no matter her beauty. I knew it will come to this, I forsaw it and strived to find a girl that will stand by me now and not when I am made because in no distant time and by God's grace, I am getting employment into an oil firm.

Tell me the fate of any girl that may come way after series of heartbreak.

I don't even have that hope of finding one any longer. Getting married is the last thing on my mind now, but I had high hope for this sometime ago.

I am in a turmoil now and I don't want to put any girl through what I have experienced. I could go on but it's not worth it.

Mehn i feel you bruv... Buh u have to try as much as u can to work on this deficiency. I think we are kinda like minded on this. I am avoiding any form of commitment with a gurl because I've discovered that most gurlz dont deserve someone like me. I was telling a very close friend of mine that I ain't ready for a relationship because I dont want to be commited since I wont like to invest my time, emotions, and other resources in making d gurl a beta person and at the end of the day, everything will go down the drain. Well, its not as if I've been heart-broken before. Infact! No gurl can break my heart, I'm invulnerable to heartbreaks. The thing is, what people experience and term heartbreak, I have experienced such 2 buh I dont see it that way because I was never hurt. Well, its a gimmick. In terms of loving, I love with the full strength of my heart, even at that it would be hard for a gurl to hurt me cuz when you think u av done ur worst, 2 me u av not started. Anywayz, I will ever remain a gud guy and never turn bad, thats the more reason I dont need someone that will tend to push me to the wall and make me want to change my policy.

Guy! Try as much as u can to re-trace ur footsteps to the point when u use to love and have feelings but try also to apply gimmicks that will make u invulnerable to heartbreaks.. I wish u well and wish myself same...

Gosh! Alot of pple keep writing, give her time to heal blah blah blah.. What kinda healing does she crave if not for you to play the role of helping her get out of the heartbreak finally? And how do u hope to help mend her heart if not to let u in? Like it is said, the best way to mend a broken heart is to fall in love again. Abi na 4 hospital them dy mend heartbreak? My guy, let her knw she has to let go and give u the chance to make her love again. One more thing is, u chose to get urself stucked amid all these. If u like u wait until forever or act accordingly if she fails to let go.

booqee: In d old times, wooing a guy may seem or appear desperate and cheap or something. But now?? Oh puleazzze! Dis is freaking 2012! Its no big deal to ask a guy out..it just depends on the way you tell d guy. If i'm crushing on a guy, and he possess practically most of the tinz i want in a guy, why can't i approach him, rather dan stick to some goddamned loser who might end up breaking ur heart. My happiness'll always comes first. But because of our 'african mentality', pple still see it as unethical, immoral, desperate and a cheap attempt..which makes it difficult for african girls especially to do it.
Maybe i need to be reminded, pls which law or rule says its MUST be d guy dat must make d first move??

My dear ask them oo. I love what drives you. Like I asked in my first post on this thread, would u prefer to take more cognizance to ur ego and lose someone you are damn sure possesses d salient featurez u crave for in a guy, or for you to kill ego and go for what matters to you... I dont see anything wrong with this. Or am I the only one with a unique perception?

preshuzpearl: I see that move as been desperate.
Motives are important.
Recently i started talkin wit dis guy and as we were chattin,i mentioned to him that he was breakin my heart by not giving me wat i want. Somehow along d line, our conversation veered into relationship and he started sayin dat i wasnt 'good enough for him' or smthin. Altho i lafed it off,i made sure i passed d message across dat he was actually d one below me and was only foolin himself thinkin he could use that line to get at me
The point is, I have come to discover that guys dont usually give respect to ladies who come after themESPECIALLY if they are little stars having a lot of priviledges and 'fans'. they start thinkin they're doin u favours just by talking to you

Not all my dear.. There are still guys like myself that doesn't take such actions for granted neither will you be under-rated. It boils down to the personality of the guy involved. I know for sure that alot of guys are lame...

Temi 23: See not only ladies have problems; men do too. E.g I met this young looking man and he said he like me, though am not a type that jump into a relationship so I always take my time. Two weeks after sone friendship he is asking me to lend him money of like 200k. can't you see he's a big fool. So hold digger men are outside ladies beware. When they know that you dont bred their money they will sha want to become it friend by force. Smh for done Nigeria men. #enoughsaid.

Lmmfao.. Well, u r damn right gurl. A whole lot of men av nofin or very little to write home about. The way I see it, its kinda like a two-way traffic. It cums 4rm both sides (male & female alike).

[quote author=Lady George ] U ave made my day. some people dey go eatry go form i dont eat with fork when ever i go to any eatry i demand for spoon na hungry carry me go there no be aje. If de meat no wan cut with that blunt knife i dey use my hand carry am eat i no get time 4 ravishing beauty at all [/quote]I love that gurl. I like it when people are real and simple. Y the forming and d film-tricks when people kan just b themselves? Abi dem don start 2 dy do beauty pageant 4 eatery again?

A of course. Coupled with swags and a host of other complementary features...

fruiteeiy: Presently in the same shoes with u sister... Just have to move on for the love of the unborn kids.. Believe in God for a better GIFT than the one we've lost.... Cheers sis

Ehya.... Thats the thing sist. You guyz just have to face the harsh reality and believe in your heart that you are gonna find someone better.. Just Believe!!!

obi123: sorry honey i got a break up text this morning myself so i'm hurting too but i will say this to you ,its perfectly OK to feel the way you do .
You are exactly where God wants you to be so that he can show you what he is made of.He knows what you want, he knows you are hurting SO BE STILL BECAUSE OF WHAT YOU KNOW OF GOD , you will look back in yrs to come and say phew thank goodness

You got a break up text? Ahh! Na wa oooo. Anywayz, it's well sha. I hope it ain't telling on you that much...

More power to your elbow.

I think I'd prefer to just be myself. That is, dmcdad & whoever the lucky gurl will be. Infact! The people you highlighted are not worth emulating... True!

chimalivelong: I HAVE A BOYFRIEND AND WILL ALWAYS HAVE MISUNDERSTANDING ALMOST EVERYDAY.

WHAT SHOULD I DO SO THAT THEIR WILL BE CONSTANT PEACE IN MY RELATIONSHIP

There is no way you can solve a problem without knowing the cause of the problem. The first step towards solving any problem is knowing the cause of the problem. So, if you need help you have got to tell what brings about misunderstanding, then I will know what to say. One more thing is, what are you doing to avoid such misunderstanding

Closetoheart: I'm speaking the mind of one of my friends here, she doesn't love her boyfriend anymore, and she's not seeing anyone else.

She's been dating this guy for 8months now, introduced him to her parents, met his parents, and all of a sudden, she's beginning to resent him. She's not feeling the spark anymore, and the guy is talking about marriage to occur in a year's time. She told me her mind, thay she's not even feeling like settling down yet. She's 26yrs now, working class. What should she do? Her fear is that if she let's the guy leave her, she doesn't know if she will find someone else. Honestly, when she told me her story, I didn't know what to tell her. I only told her that I will think about it and get back to her.

Please I need your comments.

Its simple! She doesnt feel the spark nymore, what else does she want to hear? If she is afraid of the fact that someone else might not come any sooner, does that mean she will have to bear him for the rest of her life? Why are people thinking like this? Let me tell you, sometimes if you dont let go what you have now, you may never get someone better as the case may be. If she doesnt feel him anymore, she should please opt out instead of her to play along and be decieving herself. At the end of the day, it will be at her own detriment.

If she knows what she wants in a guy, she should look out for those factors and definitely one day someone with such qualities will come around. Let her not try to satisfy anyone other than herself on this, because sometimes the fear of what the family might say might tempt her to press forward with him.

Anywayz, I wish her all the best....

[quote author=queen_labisi]I had to register on dis site to seek help 4rm u pple, Have been dating dis guy for two
years now, in all sincerity his caring,loving nd takes
me evrwhr bt I dnt undastd y he keeps cheating on
me thg he alws denies wen I confront him, he does a lot to prove his love,post our pictures on facebook nd all,he has also taken me to meet his people, but
recently he got a gal pregnant nd sh gave birth to
d baby! Bt he does not want her,his begging and
pleading with me to forgive him,his family 2 dsnt want d gal cos dey say its me dey knw, he just had a fling with d gal.. he wants us to get
married by december but I'm so scared and
confused cos of his weakness with women,nd hv
invested a lot in dis relationship in all aspect,advice seriously needed.... I dn knw if I shld go ahead with dis[/quote]Read the inscription on the wall gurly... I won't tell you to leave him or not, I think you are in the better position to know that. What I will say is that, it sure looks like that guy ain't ready to stop chasing gurlz and stuffs. The fact that you did comfront him was good but unfortunately he denied and later on the cat got out of the bag when he impregnated someone. If you are okay with such occurences, I will say go ahead and continue with him and even get married to him (That is if you are comfortable with him womanizing), but if you ain't, I dont see him changing anytime soon and with that, maybe you will have to show yourself the exit door. Its better now than later...

Rumintate on this and act accordingly.

Goodluck.

[quote author=queen_labisi] I really dnt undastand, is it dat nigerian men dnt fall in luv , pple keep saying a man who loves you won't cheat on you but seriously 96% of them cheat, d married once are even worse, and u all know this is so true, I'm very sure of dis fact ok, is it that dey dnt love dere spouses or wat is there motive?[/quote]My dear... You are damn right that a whole lot of men cheat today. The fact remains that, due to the fact that majority of them are unfaithful makes it impossible to accept the fact that there are yet alot that dont cheat. I know this for sure. As much as people complain, I have never cheated people and friends like this that have never tried it. Infact! I am becoming more afraid of women these days than men that is why I do prefer the single life I have now than being with most gurls. I think the ladies are fighting back by being unfaithful these days. Its now becoming a usual thing to cheat. Anywayz, whether you believe it or not, there are yet alot of men that are yet to cheat in their life, like me. And like I will always say, if I can be clean, I believe there are alot of people out there that are better of than myself. Its a matter of personal decision and the kinda policy one works with. To tell the truth,I more afraid of women these days and thats the more reason I am afraid of getting into any relationship for it not to be a waste of time and resources...

Sometimes, men are pushed to cheat by the way and manner their ladies act. The last relationship I had, I was pushed to play her by her own coin cos she did cheat, but instead of me to do so, I just opted out to savour my policy because I felt if I decide to play along it might change me to be the person I dont wanna be. So, you can see now that some men are prompted to cheat because of their ladies. Well, everyone with its perception and way of doing things. I just hope people see things differently like myself. Although somethimes it ain't easy, but if you are determined and you are always cautious, you will strive....

Guy! Dont try it. One of the things I tell people about relationship is that, dont ever date or marry someone because you feel sorry for them. Thats not a good reason to date someone especially with the fact that you said you ain't really ineterested in here yourself. Personally, I am good at doing such because you have to apply maturity in order to carry out this kinda activity properly. But the truth remains that, she will end up heart broken again cos your feeling is not genuine. Moreso, you will wear yourslef out since you will just be doing things to help her get over it and not because you have the passion to do it as it ought if she were to be yourz... Anywayz, be cautious so she doesnt feel more pains....

Goodluck.

Your faith in God has dwindled

My dear, I know there is no amount of words that will heal your broken heart at this juncture. But it is the bitter truth you need to face and accept. In as much as I know how you feel cos I did assume your place and I know fully well that it ain't a fair experience at all. Yet! just so you know that it was never the fault of the almighty that you happened to come across someone like that (Talking about the geno.. whateva)... I think you should be tankful still for everything. The fact that nature says it so doesnt mean it was the fault of God. The way I see it, it's only God that can help you put yourself together again. This is the time you need to acknowledge his greatness and goodness in your life more rather than lose faith in him. One thing you must realise is that, we all have our fair share of nature's tricks whether you believe it or not. The thing about life is not so much that happens to you but rather what you do about what happens. The advice I will humbly offer to you at this time is that, instead of you to sit down and whine over what has happened, why not redirect your energies towards making things better for yourself. I know you might say this is easier said than done, right! but this this reality and you must learn to face it whenever it befalls you. I know I dont have the necessary words to help sedate you, but I will rather espose to the realities you need to face and how to go about everything to help put you put yourself back together again. I feel for you a great deal and I wish I were to be near you to help you get over this, but be it as it may, you just have to try as much as you can to get back on your feet as usual. One thing you need to be aware of is that, no matter how good you think he is, there is always someone better. I know it might be very hard to get that person, but if you can trust in God again and believe that he can get you someone like him again with no genotype issue, you might be surprised that he might get you someone that is better of than him. That is the more reason why you have to acknowledge him still irrespective what you are going through. Furthermore, you need to work on how to let go of him in your heart now and especially when you are disposed to let in some other person. And please dont try to compare him with anyone that will be next because if you do, no matter how angelic that person might be, you will still be seeing alot of vulnerabilities at the begining stages if you decide to keep this at heart..

God knows why my dear... It might be unclear to us as humans why this happened but he is the ultimate and he sees things before they even happen. Who knows if something would come up later on that would be detrimental to you... No one knows except God. So just try AMA you can to put yourself together.

I wish you well.

Sure! What I really call to mind is the person's personality. Personally, I have a different perspective towards alot of tinz and as such I dnt see anytin wrong with that even though most ladies would not do such. The way I see it is, u see ur ideal mate and u are sure of the person's personality, then u go for it and b fulfilled rather than hold on to it and wait for a miserable guy 2 come and do the talking (as usual) and at the end of the day, he breaks ur heart. Which is better? To kill ur ego and b heart-filled or to hold ur ego in high regard with a broken heart. The choice is urz buh as a guy, I dnt see anything wrong with doing such 2 me as long as u knw what u want

Make hay while the sun is still there smiling profusely at you. You have to decrypt the meaning yourself. Goodluck gurl.

rofemiguwa: A friend of mine called me few days ago.Her boyfriend is showing signs of cheating.though she hasn't caught him redhanded yet.the red flags are jus showing up everywhere.she's seriously heartbroken And the worse part is anybody she seeks advice from tells her all men are like that,u don't knw if the next one will be worse.jus close ur eyes to all the red flags ur seeing.and continue ur relationship.she doesn't know how to handle this any more.pls help.
Matured and honest opinions plz

First and foremost, she can't be very sure until the guy is caught in d act. Secondly, she has been meeting the wrong people for advice, thats y she keeps on getting trash for an advice. Thing is, she needs to confirm that the guy is actually cheating and try as much as she can to confront him. The aftermath will determine my take on the issue..

Mehn! I'm a nice guy for life and I'm neva gonna change from that just to suit any gurl. The fact is, gurlz want good guyz, buh what they really need are d badt guyz, believe me! Besides, I'm better of being single than being with a typical Nigerian gurl cuz they just dont deserve all the stress I have to go through to bring about amelioration in their world. Hapi is d lucky woman that will b called my wife, she will know only hapiness until she dies. So gurlz, newsflash! U can choose 2 b a pain on d arse of good guyz and fall extensively 4 d bad guyz or vice-versa. Its up 2 u buh that doesn't change a thing about me. My person remains, whether any gurl gets to appreciate it or not..

olubabequeen: I know I have already posted a topic on what is like to marry a pastor. But I still have concerns.
Pastors are human, I know, but I don't know the etiquette of being a pastor's wife in front of a congregation. E.g. If I want to go to holiday is that a bad thing? Will people gossip and say we used the church funds? Would I ruin our image? How do i support my husband? Can I do things outside church?

You cant kill yourself just to please people. Anywayz, make sure that whatever you are doing are of good ethics, doesnt bring about moral decadence and it's ok in the sight of God. The rest... History. As for supporting ur hubby, I dnt need to tell u where and when but, just make sure u are always there wherever or whenever he needs u.. Wish u well...

Hell no! In as much as child bearing is a blessing to married couples, to be frank, I cant try it. First of all, its way out of my policy in life and aside going against the ethics and morals of marriage, its also wrong biblically. So, there are alot attached to this and thereby making it ethically, morally and spiritually inappropriate. Anywayz, this is just me. I speak for me and me alone. Besides, adoption ain't a bad idea afterall..

Pritheeann: @op...not all sinqles are happy,.i spik 4 maself..dunno about others..

You ain't happy? Ehya.. I'm free like a bird till the right one comes around.. Just learn to see this positively and u'll b hapi. Being single is sweet but, if a wonder woman comes around, its sweeter. Lol

El Guapo: [color=#0066ff]1. Always calls you to find out how you day is going. [Sure Thing]

2. Will feel terrible when he forgets your birthday or anniversary and will always make it up to you.

3. Surprises you with gifts, even when the occasion is not special.

4. Tells you regularly that he loves you.

5. Knows how to make love to you. [Oshe]

6. Knows how to caress, hug, kiss and fulfill your heart’s romantic desires.

7. Feels your pain when you go through hard times.

8. Loves to see you happy and rejoices with you.

9. Always makes quality time to spend with you.

10. Will never physically or emotionally abuse you.

11. Will marry you without waiting too long.

12. Will forgive and forget when you apologize for hurting his feelings.

13. Will not use your weaknesses or secrets against you.

14. Will not air your dirty laundry.

15. Is patient and willing to work on your relationship problems.

16. Knows that it is important for you to spend time with your friends and family members.

17. Will not cheat on you. [So help me God]

18. Will not flirt with your girlfriends to the point of annoying you. [So help me God]

19. Will not go out of his way to make you jealous.

20. Will always respect you in the presence of his friends and family members.

21. Always helps you with chores around the house. [If i don't have Stubbed Fingers]

22. Enjoys the company of your family and friends.

23. Supports your dreams and ambitions.

24. Never puts you down when talking to you.

25. Cares a great deal about your thoughts, feelings and opinions.

26. Is always available to help when you need him.

27. Knows that his way is not the only way. [/color]

Yeah the list is cool. I av at least 25 of those features for real. So guyz stop saying its impossible. Anywayz, u seem to falter on 17th and 18th respectively. Abi? Talk true oooo