₦airaland Forum

princepee:
What exactly is it with Nigerian and south Africa.
We are not even neighbors, so what is this rivalry about?

People have a lot of time to waste.

they started it first

Danyyyyyyyyyyy:
After a close call , a miscarriage around early June , I decided to get a birth control shot 6 weeks ago , I started bleeding 3 weeks ago and my blood is still flowing , I thought it would stop but it seems to be getting heavier.

I live with my bf and its embarrassing , and if you're a woman you know that when you're seeing your period , your sweat has a stronger odour and thats why deodorant is a must.

I lost my job and I've been depending on my bf for a while , I have an interview tomorrow morning at a secondary school.

I have my bath at least 3 times a day but its as if I'm dirty , even because of cold I can bath more with hot water , its not helping.

I don't have pad or deodorant , anytime I ask him he's always complaining about food and he always has to provide food for both of us , and then if he accidentally spots a drop of blood on my underwear , like when I'm peeing , he starts to lecture me about my cleanliness making me feel dirty.

The other day he was tickling me and it came out again , he was so disgusted , I felt like sinking , I told him to stop but he didn't listen because he plays a lot , it smells like old blood and its thicker than normal period blood , start and stop .

I can change my underwear up to 3 times and still feel very dirty .

I'm going to the clinic to complain again tomorrow

Its like I'm bleeding deliberately , I'm very pale and weak right now but he makes me feel like I'm just acting pitiful

if at least I was always on pad , the stress would be less but I don't even have my own money , if I complain its like I'm ungrateful about other things

I'm tired , I just want my body back to normal

First aunty as soon as things get better you must retire that boyfriend. He is a walking red flag and can leave you lying dead.

Also getting that Depo shot of birth control can mess up your hormones more than other methods. Try another method instead of the depo shot. I hate recommending ladies the shot because I am tired of hearing complaints.
The hormones can really mess up your body. That is why abstinence is the best.

Hope you were cleared in the hospital that there were no retained products from your miscarriage, because bleeding should have stopped after 6 Weeks max.

janeedema:
Is marriage the goal, or is it about finding the right person to marry? Because the truth is, there are countless married women who are deeply unhappy.

While I hold marriage in high regard, I firmly believe that if a woman isn't content while she's single, she'll never find happiness in marriage. This is often the root cause of many marital problems.

Too many singles rush into marriage, expecting their spouse to fill a void within them. They put off their own happiness, only to feel even more frustrated when their partner falls short of their expectations.

Marriage isn't about completing you—it's about complementing who you already are. If you can't feel whole as a single person, that emptiness will follow you into marriage.

you are right. Marriage is two whole people not two halves. Even the Bible says seek ye first the kingdom of God and all other things shall be added.

MetalJigsaw:
Your statement answers the question from the topic.

No not necessarily. Marriage is the best outcome for most people. But it is not in everyone's destiny to end up married neither is marriage for everyone. Some people's purpose in life can also be derailed by Marriage

Imagine if mother Theresa was barefoot and pregnant in her husband's house, or Joan of arc.

We should stop shaming people who choose to stay single.

luminouz:
I don't agree with you. It's that simple. Most men are realizing that too.

I also don't agree with you. You are allowing a hurt human being to raise a hurt human being to justify your conscience and evade full responsibility for your actions. It is not as if divorce laws in Nigeria favor women. If you were abroad, I can understand if a regular man shies away from marriage, but as a nigerian man, you have no fvcking excuse.

LeopardX:
Truth. But getting married without having money get as e be. Even if the woman is an understanding one.

Exactly.

Last week a woman came to visit me. She had a 5 month old baby that she was not breastfeeding often due to lactation issues and was feeding mostly on formula. She came to me for advice on how to start supply moremilk again. She spends 105, 000 naira a month on the baby's formula alone because the child only tolerates SMA GOLD. Imagine that, not even pampers is includedin the cost. she said that her husband had been laid off and she doesn't want her child to starve.

I had to teach her that breast milk can be stored in the freezer, I had to teach her powerpumping and breastmilk banking. I told that that if she spends less money, she will have to spend more time, at least extra 3 hours a day trying to increase breastmilk supply. I had to tell her that while suckling is best, she can try cup and spoon or feeding bottles as far as the baby is well fed. This economy is hard and children are expensive. We had to come up with innovative solutions. Hopefully she comes for appointment next week with an update.
It is well.

Note: I am single and have never breastfed before. This isn't really thought in school, but I had to do research and learn to proffer solutions to these problems.

imustsaymymindo:
The word settle down is such a negative word. Maybe that's why.

Yes it is negative. But most people do settle eventually.

IkeGod9891:
I didn't lose interest. I just don't have money currently.

thank you for you honesty.

jorion:
YOU CAN'T TURN A HOE TO A HOUSE WIFE NEITHER CAN YOU MAKE AN IRRESPONSIBLE MAN A HUSBAND..

IT'S NOT ROCKET SCIENCE..

ALLOW THE RICH MEN ENJOY THEIR LIVES. AFTER ALL, IF THEY WERE POOR, GIRLS WOULD NOT GIVE A F ABOUT THEM..

IF YOU WANT A HUSBAND, POPERLY SCREEN THE MEN THAT YOU HAVE SEX WITH....

I already do that because I am armed with the knowledge required to do so. There is a reason why medical personnel hardly become baby mamas.

Most baby mamas are younger women who did not know better that's what makes it so sad.

luminouz:
If being baby daddy and being in your child's life and catering for him/her is bad, I don't know what you will call men who run away after giving girls belle and never care or cater for the child.

Its bare minimum effort. It's scraps. Simple!!

It's emotional neglect. Not putting your eggs in one basket is not applicable in marriage. Family/marriage is not like your investment portfolio where it is better to diversify your assets. Marriage and family is like a garden where you give your best in your plot/ acres of land to yield your fruit. You can't go and garden some of your seeds in one acre of bush in the east, a plot of forest in the south, a hectare of savanna in the north. Your resources will be spread thin and the yield won't be high. (Please note that I am talking of substinence and not commercial farming which is diiferent)

Men think that marriage benefits the women, they fail to consider that women invest emotional labor and take root and nuture her children in her bosom. She doesn't have children scattered with their different husband's and even If she does, they stay with her so that she can take root in their lives and nature's them how she can.

Baby mamas and wives are like trees and baby daddies are like tumbleweeds in this scenario. Children will look after and see a parental figure in whosoever establishes ROOTS and stay in their life for the good times and bad be it a mom a dad or a grandparent.

luminouz:
I have added to my post....read it well

Men may come online about being single but we both know who goes to churches, mosque and all the marriage seminars in the country. The reality is that women gains from being married. We gain nothing from it. Your scenario of coming home to eat good and a clean home is laughable. How many homes have that these days, when the foundation is based on money and favors and not love or sacrifice? If homes are that perfect, why are there divorcees everywhere or women with kids not longer with their husbands. I'm a realist and I have seen things so the utopia you pained is few and far between.

Any man who wants to marry us free to do so and should know the consequences of his actions but saying men become responsible when they marry is nothing but insulting because you are actually calling us slaves or donkeys who are responsible because we bear the loads of marriage and upkeep. If that's the only value of a man in marriage, then it can go to hell. We are tired of being commodities to satisfy retirement plans and all that shiit. I have watched many men slave all their lives with nothing to their names, catering for their families only to die alone and wrecked + wretched while the wife travels around the world meddling in the affairs of the kids, leaving their husbands to die alone.


Did you just fucking say marriage increases a man's life expectancy? 🤣🤣🤣🤣. Goodness gracious!!! Are you living on Mars or something? Marriage is the number one cause of a man's death. Infact, the life expectancy of any man reduces once he marries and starts donkeying everyone's financial troubles.



You are not a man, so don't assume to know shiit about what we feel

did you read the studies? No.

Please are you married? Ask any man who just married what the difference is.
If you personally are not satisfied with donkeying everyone's financial troubles, then you can come to an agreement with your wife. That's not hard at all. You and your wife can discuss amicably to share the financial responsibilities, nothing is wrong with that at all.

But the caveat comes when you as a man are not ready to offer something in exchange for the lady decreasing your workload. The best way to reciprocate the gesture is to take some of her load of her hands as a gesture of goodwill and continued trust in each other.

Marriage is responsibility for both parties. Not just the man alone , the two of you make marriage work. Both of you put in your hundred percent to keep what you have built. But the moment you discuss with your wife and she takes let's say 25% of your financial burden. She is now doing 125% of the work while you are doing 75%. That is a ticking time bomb. That 125% is more prone to stress and burnout which will manifest in resentment, nagging, arguments, illness of the body while the 75% feels lighter and healthier due to less burden not knowing that everything is slowing crumbling.

One day the woman will just emotionally quiet quit the marriage or worse file for divorce while the man will cry that he was blindsided while he expected his wife to live in a tolerable level of permanent unhappiness. It can also go vice versa.

So two of you should strive to keep things one hundred. Don't be the person that does nothing in the group project while expecting 100 marks.

jorion:
A WOMAN WHO WANTS TO GET MARRIED WOULD ONLY DATE MEN INTENTIONALLY.

YOU CHOSE THE MAN. OF ALL THE GREAT RESPONSIBLE GUYS OUT THERE, YOU CHOSE HIM SPECIFICALLY TO HAVE SEX WITH HIM..

NOW THAT YOU ARE PREGNANT, YOU WANT HIM TO BECOME A RESPONSIBLE FATHER? WHERE DOES THAT HAPPEN.

The only thing that the man can do is to take care of his child or children.

It is not a matter of choosing the man. It's not a bug, it's a feature. If a lot of women are choosing bad men, doesn't that mean the entire batch is rotten, a few bad ones ruin the bunch eventually. Also remember that it is the man's orgasm that results in a pregnancy, not a woman so yes he should take responsibility. If abortion were more legal in this country, we would have less bastards.

Do you know that abortion (espially unsafe ones)is one of the five main courses of maternal mortality. It means that men's ejaculations are killing women. https://www.oatext.com/maternal-mortality-in-nigeria-a-consideration-of-infection-control-factor.php#:~:text=Several%20articles%20identified%20major%20causes,obstructed%20labour%20(Figure%202).

Marriages also reduce a woman's life expectancy especially when she marries a man way older or way younger

https://www.demogr.mpg.de/en/news_events_6123/news_press_releases_4630/press/marriage_and_life_expectancy_1813

Men generally don't listen to women. You and luminouz dismissing my argument as nonsense proves that point. They only listen when it is other more powerful men. So I don't expect both of you to see reason or for us to come to an amicable conclusion in issues like this. This isn't my first rodeo.

But what I want tobleave here is that men should caution each other. Good men that don't call out the bad behavior of other men are not really good men. Being a baby daddy is BAD. sleeping irresponsibly with women and leaving them to fend for themselves when pregnant is BAD. Even if it means doing a DNA test, not failing take full responsibility and paying the chicken change you call child support is BAD. What davido, wizkid and flavor are doing is BAD. please tell your fellow brothers, because your sister, cousin, wife and mother may be next.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

luminouz:
This is all bullshiiit!!! An attempt to shame men into commitment they gain absolutely nothing from. Any man who wants marriage is free to go that route but painting a doomsday scenario is just one of society and women's ways of blackmailing men into committing to a construct that is scientifically dead in this century.

I have seen the exact opposite of everything you said. So long you take care of your kids and they know you and themselves, burial arrangements would be according to your dictates in your will. Marriage is no guarantee your so-called legitimate kids won't kill themselves over you or themselves.

Men gain nothing from marriage? Then why are single men crying up and down on the nairaland romance section opening redpill threads?

Marriage forces men to take responsibility and increases their life expectancy. Are you single? Don't you know the benefits that come with someone who taking care of you and being a companion? That's what a wife does. Having a wife is cheaper, better and more fulfilling than outsourcing her responsibilities.

Coming home to someone who is happy to see you, who has put in work to make sure your home is tidy, your dinner is ready, your kids are in top shape, healthy, happy and have done their assignments. Do you know how that feels when all that load is off your shoulders, that you have an adult with a vested interest in you with you, beside you?

The amount of mental load that goes into running a family is done by the woman. If you think marriage is that bad. Ask divorced men why they are so quick to remarry? and ask divorce women why they wait longer to remarry or not at all.

Many men don't do well alone, even God said it in the bible.

jorion:
You're talking nonsense. As long as he is taking responsibility for them, there's nothing wrong

marriage is a step towards taking responsibility. Covering that child's mother's shame for sleeping with you is responsibility Properly allocating and investing time, emotions, money and resources to ensure the child grows up properly THAT'S RESPONSIBILITY. Any other thing is a cop out done by a coward that calls himself a man. Even davido doesn't pay child support, wizkid is called a deadbeat. Look at the difference between future and ciara's husband in the life of that child? Fatherhood is not by blood. Ciara's husband is the father of that child, not future. That's the difference.

For God's sake, even if it's polygamy. Marry the woman and protect that child. That's responsibility. Nobody is asking you to be perfect. Just make sure that the person you sleep with, you are ready to marry.

luminouz:
I don't think so. They are his kids. If he ain't the dad, and they belong to the mum, then calling them bastards(at least in Yoruba parlance) is right.

If I have a kid and I don't marry the mum, come call him/her bastards na, make i wooze your 👄

I called them bastards and I will say it up your face again (not to their's).

Those children have no benefit from you being their sperm donor. If you die like fowl one day. Those kids have no right to your property, they can't even claim your surname. Paying child support is not fatherhood, protecting your children, being in their lives continually without cherry picking the time that is convenient for you while you pursue other women is not fatherhood, giving them your time and attention, being there when they are sick or vulnerable, teaching them to be morally responsible adults, giving them your legacy and inheritance. THAT'S FATHERHOOD.

Not using child support as a weapon to get sexual access to a baby mama who made the mistake of opening her legs for you and has to pay for it for the rest of her life.

if you luminouz have sired illegitimate children, then this is the gravity of what you have done.

Mind you. That delusional belief that bastards will look for their father is a risky gamble, they may not and even if they do to satisfy their curiosity , they will most likely not cater to your old age.

I am tired of seeing middle aged and old men who made irresponsible choices in their youth die with regrets, lonely and miserable, unable to call family out of shame to see their last moments. Family members will not even claim the corpse sef. If he is lucky, his friends and people in his area will. If not it will be dropped in a mortuary or donated to medical students for anatomy dissection. I am yet to see that happen to women though. Even If a woman dies alone, family and loved ones always show up immeadiately after crying to claim their corpses or make a fuss in the hospital.

Uchesis:
Its easy to call poor man's children born outside as illegitimate bastards.


.
Can you call Davido's children with his baby mamas a bastard?

Yes. They are bastards. It's all lipstick on a pig.

Sirmwill:
And I heard that the way most of this ladies smell down there is like when Satan mess


Tho I can still manage those of Jennyclay, EreluRoz, Jeon, Mariangeles...
It's still manageable




Btw
If you hear the man's side of the story, it would most likely be another thing entirely

some men that don't wash their boxers and wear the same underwear for months, don't rinse their pricks after peeing, don't know how to clean their bombom after poopooing. There is only so much a human can tolerate from a pig

sweetkev:
Lies. I have a baby mama and live alone and I'm very happy plus doing better having a total freedom.

Marriage makes life so boring.

So you destroyed a woman's destiny for your freedom.

SocialJustice:
I love that you handled the issue of 2 sides to a coin. Women were not created with testosterone naturally running through their veins, they got oestrogen, the feminine nature and care to tame the wild man.

Instead of taming their men and bringing balance to their lives, women also want to live the testosterone controlled life.

I wish them the best.

what rubbish is this one saying. Are you saying that men are no better wild animals that need taming?

PerfectStranger:
No single man in his right senses that have seen disloyalty and shege in some women will be worried about marriage.

As a man, if you can't find a befitting and homely woman to marry, have your baby outside, do your child support,train them and live a peaceful and drama free life.

You want to have illegitimate bastards outside and drama free life.
Those two words don't belong in the same sentence. The DELULU is strong in this one

Exceed15:
Because marriage only favors women while the men look miserable afterward.

Actually.

Marriage favors men more than women.

Men are just sulky because they are losing the advantage they had that made their mothers, grandmothers and great grandmother to settle for their father's, grandfathers and great-grandfathers which was MONEY.

Now that women can also earn a living and take care of themselves financially without a man, their needs have changed and evolved. However men have failed to update to the latest software. They don't want to make the needed change to make them good choices of partner for women today so they are throwing tantrums online and losing incentive to be productive members of society. They want to be free to practice infidelity without consequences. They want really young girls(most likely virgins) to date them and destroy their destines, abandon them pregnant with those curses they call joysticks and make the poor innocent girl a bitter baby mama. They want outside affairs. They don't want to be parents and raise their legitimate or illegitimate children. The only thing they are good at which is a provider, many don't want to do anymore.

It's not only men that don't want to marry. It's women too, women don't want to marry immature boys in adult bodies calling themselves men who didn't complete home trainingin their parent' houses. Women don't want to marry deadbeats and energy vampires. Women don't want husbands with fragile egos who are their enemies of progress. No one wants to buy bad market.

[quote author=HgsMediaPlus post=131544803][/quote]disgusting practice. Most likely mormons.

dimgbajwe:
Want to save his wife neck but that woman is wicked

most likely he did something

GOFRONT:
Ehen!!!.....Set awon Onyi2.2

When she was receiving the Vitamin D and the Vit D rain on her, she moan and moan in sweetness.......Now its time to reap the product of her romp and she took it to the farmland....

Na her type plenty for facebook reel the wiggle bombom and cameltow upandan in the name of Content maker

Why did the vitamin D pour akamu inside if he wasn't going to take responsibility?

helinues:
Snailing?? Even God forbids bad things.

Urine palace, make person dey put his mouth inside, Nah Nah

I hope you don't collect blowjobs sha.

Topsido:
The #EndBadGivernance protest so far is nothing to write home about. There amseem to be more anti-protest persons on ground than actual protesters. This goes to show that Lagos have rejected the manipulative agenda of faceless elements who wants to cause chaos.

Lol. Fake news

Inspirer1:
I have been finding it difficult to access X this morning, perhaps it's peculiar to my network.

Kindly confirm if you can access X (twitter)

use a vpn

Inspirer1:
X (twitter) is either not loading or quite slow to load this morning, I don't know if it's general though

'They' are disrupting phone networks. What better way to disrupt protest than making it so that information doesn't reach the public

AlphaMale666:
I hate everything about them. They're very evil things sent from the underground to take us to our early graves. How can you see a child as young as 7 already knowing how to victimize another person's child in school. Till that child falls into depression and commits suicide. What do you think is the major cause of all those US school shootings! At such little age they already know how to perform such evil acts! Talk less of when they fully grow into adults and the evil in them fully matures! I hate them so much! How on earth people think they're a blessing leaves me baffled! There was a video I saw on a blog not too long ago of one of those Nigerian comedians little babies breaking his plasma tv screen. When the guy confronted them, they were just staring at the guy because they knew what they had done was evil! People would say "ah they're just babies, they don't know what they're doing". Why would they be staring if they didn't know! Even before doing it, they knew what they were doing was bad but still went ahead! These things are nothing but little demons sent from the deepest path of the underground to torment your life till your grave! I know some stupid idiots will come showcase their stupidity and start insulting me! Take it or leave it.

The alpha has spoken.

nobody will take you seriously until you do a vasectomy.

Put your money where your mouth is and stop disturbing us.

[quote author=HumphreyGspot post=131177501][/quote]Why do men do this?

Why make a day that is supposed to be about an achievement she made with her own effort be about him? It's narcissistic.

People can't farm when it isn't safe to do so.

benuejosh:
Okay.

In Nigeria, the protest is as a result of bad state actors who are feeling pained that the election conducted didn't bring them to power even when some came distant third position.

There is hunger in the land. Yes it is true, but what have the individuals done about it? did hunger start today? have they gone to farm? they blame the government and i ask, define government. Are the masses not the authority? are they not the ones who sent people to represent them? What have they done to support those they sent to represent them? If they are hungry they should go to farm and not allow themselves to be used with hunger as an excuse or tool to be used by those who lost out of election to cause chaos.

The rot of over 16 years cannot be cured by just 1 and half year of Tinubu in government. Peter Obi had 8 years as governor of a state yet left Anambra as one of the worst state in terms of development and governance.

Those behind the protest are only calling for anarchy and chaos to make this administration unstable.

Even if the protest ends, untill the farmers harvest their crops, there's nothing that can be done about the hunger. Government can not farm to feed the whole nation. Most Nigerians want everything to be given to them freely without them working for it.

Minimum was increased to about N30k Abia state and Benue that i am aware of were still paying workers about N18k till date. But it is the federal government that they want to blame. Even if it is increased to 200k, federal government will pay her own workers but will the state government pay their workers? will the private sector pay? are the protesters protesting against their state government or against Tinubu? The man -Tinubu- has increased minimum wage. Ask your state governors to implement it and lets see.

Traders in the market are increasing prices in the market at will, are they protesting against those traders? but it is Tinubu that is increasing prices.
We need to be wise as a people in this country.
The call for anarchy should be resisted by all means and those supporting it should be brought to book.

For me, i am not protesting because the protest is just a call for anarchy. The government is working round the clock to make sure things work out for good.

Don't allow hatred for a particular ethnic group to cloud your sense of reasoning.

Tinubu is working!

Afonjah:
The evil that women do live after them.

In this hardship, women are feeding fat by finishing the last blood of innocent men.

Fool. He probably took burantashi or Vega 100 and had a heart attack as a result because he wanted to impress