₦airaland Forum

oweniwe:
Women and their crazy sense of entitlement...

Money for hair and cream.... What is inside those two rubbish stuffs sef?

If a woman don't use cream or do hair, will she die?

oweniwe:
You're mean o.... Two months? Do you want accumulated akamu to burst his blockos?

I don't think that would be the first time the woman would misappropriate allocated money....

Wife spending car repair money on hair and cream is akin to husband spending children fees on drinks.

Women won't take it lightly if their husband spends house rent on bet9ja.. why should the husband take this lightly with her too?

sassysure:
What a nice topic. Thought this section has gone to the dogs eons ago.

I will say that different people view marriage in different perspectives. A strong willed man or woman can do without marriage. But there are people who functions best when they lean on each other.
I can say as somebody who have been there,seen what's inside is that though we are in shitholes in the name of marriage,that marriage is not over rated.
It takes the right partners to make marriage work.

Personally,I will love to marry again and to the same person. If a man only knows that his wife comes before his children and then family and vice versa, I don't think we will be having all the problems we have that are attributed to marriage.
Our men,sorry to say it sucks. Most of them entered into marriage to procreate and nothing more. More than 80% of Nigerian women in marriage want out but religion and culture holds them back. And who will marry them again as they can't possibly procreate and in our clime,that's the number one reason for getting married in the first place for the guy especially. The rich cries most. I have seen it all. Billionaires wives, name them. One very close family member said she regretted a lot. She can't divorce. Globe trotting from one country to the other looking for happiness. Funny enough what she passed through is the road she advised me to follow but as I vehemently refused it, she seems to be mad cos I wouldn't want to make the same mistakes she did. I don't view marriage as an average Nigerian woman sees it. My husband and kids are not my all. They are part of my life journey. My life doesn't end with them and I can't live for them.
I always make plans alone first, then add them. So also hubby. I hardly look for I love u sweet nothings. I rate you with your actions and I should want u to rate me with mine.
Marriage is indeed sweet. I won't lie. For me that have passed through the worst phase of the institution, I wouldn't have been stronger and better without the help of my spouse. Learn to prioritise, people. And thanks to our religious and santimonious places of worships. They are not helping matters either.


Efe, how are u and family. Coco, how are u all?
The way I write should tell u all who is greeting. I sometimes peep at ur usernames and has been telling myself I will say hi one day but I'm grateful the opportunity calls now.
Seems some changed usernames. Hi everybody.

Mindfulness:
I do not remember when it didn't.

cococandy:
Exactly

How are you though?

cococandy:

richyblink1:
Thought Fejiro is an Isoko name?

DarkRebel69:
I made this drawing. I intended on posting it along with the exposition before...

Pidgin2:
OP, are you a cultist? No offense o

Maccarthy:
I want to tell my mom this but she believes me too much so i can't tell her. That's y i'm here on NL to say "Pls do not disobey God. He is everything". Satan can use it's agents to destroy only your physical body now but fear God that can destroy your body nd your soul altogether. I'm not saying all dis because i've read the bible it's what i have seen. Now i am at peace.

claremont:
You can get a mortgage without having owned credit cards, but it wouldn't be a good mortgage rate and the deposit you will be asked to bring will be huge. The high rate and deposit has factored in the high risk the applicant is as compared to someone who has a good history of obtaining credit instruments and paying back.

The bottom-line in this debate is that if you are not comfortable using credit instruments, do not own credit cards. However, IF you are very disciplined with your finances, credit cards are a very good way to build up your credit history. A good credit history is very critical in obtaining the best mortgage and finance deals. Most credit cards for people with a good credit history have a minimum of 30 month 0% purchase and balance transfer in place anyway, so you end up paying little or no interest on them.

It's the people who use credit cards that can misuse them, and they end up in a vicious cycle of debt. Personally, I have 5 credit cards, but I only actively use 1. The rest were obtained for building up my credit history which I later used to obtain a good mortgage rate. I must admit it's very tempting to withdraw all the cash on the credit cards and flee the country, but that's a very short-sighted way of thinking.

Mindfulness:
But you wanted to be a croc.

2black1:
Pictures.

UKmigrant:
I did some essential shopping today, went to Primark oxford street, London. Things are really cheap here!

justwise:
Average cost of bus pass in the UK is about 60-70 in most cities (London excluded), if you are earning £11,500 a year and spends £250 monthly on food alone then you will have serious problem saving a penny.

Pidgin2:
Oga justwise, by family of five he meant two parents and three kids not five kids as you implied. Most likely such a person will be on welfare aka child benefit, let's assume he is not paying mortgage then what of rent? He might pay from 400 to 600 pounds per month depending on how he wants to live his life. In all, it's not a good thing to earn such per year while living in UK. This is the reason some people living in there cannot invite friends and family over because they are already a liability to the country so it has stripped them of their legal rights to host any possible visitors

blank:
Those are the exceptions not the rule. Their towels are also quite good. But all else is cheap panda that looks flashy but doesn't last.

AkachukwuD:
For those attacking me.
First am not supporting the husband for slapping his wife all am saying is that the wife don't have any right to expose their family problems outside their home for any reason.
Now everybody has known that Behind their smile that they are not even living in peace

KanwuliaExtra:
9. The concept of a SOUL-MATE is extremely desirable, but extremely difficult to actualize.
Most will try to convince themselves that they have “soul mates”, but can NEVER be monogamous. Most are happily married, but with “ extra-marital” soul-mates.

Usually in MOST relationships, the soul-mates are not the SPOUSES.

Most can’t wait for the children to grow up and leave the home, so they can BAIL!

If you are in a marriage, please find out WHO THE REAL SOUL-MATE is. You might be dealing with at least 4 people in any marriage.

You don’t need to ask if you are or have a “soul-mate”. Actions will always speak louder than words.

Anonymous103:
Hello house , pls i could really use some advise. I've been dating my bf for almost a year and my mother hates him so much.her reason is that she was told somewhere he isn't a good person .when I told her my bf proposed to me she said she'll rather die than have me marry him. To make matters worse, i just found out I'm pregnant and can't even tell her.i love my bf and he isn't a bad person, What can I do to change her mind?

armyofone:
Interesting thread.
I agree with KanwuliaJara and ujujoan2 to find happiness within ourselves.
For marriage to be successful, everyone must be willing to play their imperfect role with love, a bit of patience and understanding. Imagine such challenge when only one person is raising the kids or doing the chores or making the money etc...that's recipe for burnt-out.

boldx:
My Passionate appeal to the HUSBANDS OF NIGERIA

I woke up with a serious burden and trust me my sleep was short as well because i spent time thinking through all my counseling sessions during the week.

Consistently married women are showing up in our office who are tired of their marriage and want out not because the man is not a performer in the bedroom but simply because they have borne the burden of domestic bills and are tired and worn out. What is most intriguing is that most of these women have lost their self esteem and so tired of life with a number of them battling with depression no thanks to threats from the same man who has refused to lend a helping hand in providing support for the family?

...

If you must know some of our wives are upset and tired and to cap it all many of us feel too big to seek for paid employment yet every investment in the direction of 'I want to do business' has been squandered with nothing to show.

I am aware that times are tough for a lot of men and trust me I sympathize with us and earnestly praying to God to turn things around for our men but can we also help ourselves by doing something and crying out for help?

Can we turn down positions that requires you to make donations by simply telling those who offer you that you have no job at the moment and need help?

Can we be humane enough to at least show respect and honour for the one who has made provision possible over the years and go all out to do anything that is ethical, legal and right to earn something no matter how small.

...

In the last 1 week i have spoken with over 13 women who are ready to move out of their marriage with their kids because

'I can't continue to work so hard and feed the entire family without nothing to show for myself'

...

There is no way a human being can be comfortable feeding another able body for the rest of her life when life can be better if the two of them bring in something.

The economy we live in right now is not one that affords anyone to sit at home and do nothing? If after 8years of claiming you want to do business nothing has worked please be humble enough to dust your certificate and go and work for someone else?

...

Our women are tired & now many want out but I believe we can remedy the situation because once the home breaks the family breaks.

I am appealing to all our men to please seek counsel because often times a counsel is just what you need to redirect your life and bounce back.

Feeling too big to check in for counseling is arrogance when you are stuck. We must maximize professionals who are willing to help.

There is no glory in reading the Bible and praying daily for the last 5years doing nothing. By now you should have caught the revelation that sets you free.

...

And for those of us in the religious space may I appeal that we begin to do our due diligence before we appoint people into positions. Can we check if the person is gainfully employed and domestically responsible?

We must know that a family is a nation and every able bodied adult must contribute to the internally generated revenue of the family.

This also goes to wives who sit down and do nothing in the name of 'I am chopping my husband's money' kindly take yourself away from the welfare list of the family and do something to add value to the family economy.

If you have read this and have not contributed a dime financially in the last 5years please something must change as a matter of urgency.

May God turn things around and may God give us the wisdom to do things differently.

Our wives are tired and burdened and we must relieve them of this burden.

I honour us all.

...

oloyede252:
quite an interesting thread. @ UjuJoan2 so you finally got married and from your post you ain't happy in your marriage.