₦airaland Forum

mikuz:
think you urgently need to see him.

didn't get u bro. pls repeat urself

the women look a bit phreaked at this one

pls don't hang me, I thought I could revive my joke skills. It's a bit rusty, really long since I did something like this.

In fact who gives a ph*ck, a joke is a joke jorr, haba

Hello guys am back to join in the laughing-sin biz. It's be really long. Nothing feels like home.

WOMEN,
A real woman is a man's best friend.

She will never stand him up and never let him down. She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad day.

She will inspire him to do things he never thought he could do; to live without fear and forget regret. She will enable him to express his deepest emotions and give in to his most intimate desires.

She will make sure he always feels as though he's the most handsome man in the room and will enable him to be the most confident, sexy, seductive and invincible, ,

NO WAIT, SORRY,

I'm thinking of whisky, It's whisky that does all that shit,

I always here people say they love this kind of food and that kind of food. And they go on to say their reasons.

Well as for me, my own idea of comfort food is "b**bs covered in gravy". 

What do you think?

A young man in UK saw a pregnant woman enter and took a seat in a train. Suddenly the young man started laughing, the woman noticing she was the target simply switched to another seat but the laugh increased. Notwithstanding she moved again to another seat, then the laugh was unbearable. The woman called the Police and ensured the young man was arrested for abuse of her rights.

Now he was taken to the Police station and quizzed. He said "The first place she sat was carrying a banner on her head "Heavy duty on board", the second place had a banner "The William's stick did the trick", the the last sit was carrying a banner "The Twin blades coming soon!".

At that the Police men burst into laughter and let the young man go.

A young man was about travelling to Singapore and was told all the dos and don'ts. Amongst was he was told was that he should not carry anything in sachets e.g drugs of any kind, food substances, etc.

He now decided to ask the Visa Adviser some questions. This is the discussion that ensued:

Traveler: Sir, thank you for your advice but I want to ask. Can I see relaxation points?

Adviser: How do you mean Sir?

Traveler: Like Silverbird Gallerie,

Adviser: Sure.

Traveler: What clubs?

Adviser: Yes, if you have money with you then you can enjoy all of that.

Traveler: So I can hang out in Hotels and clubs with beautiful chaps?

Adviser: Sir they are all available.

Traveler: But the only problem I have is this sachet thing.

Adviser: How do you mean?

Traveler: I learnt condoms are prescribed first by the Doctor before one can use it there.

Adviser: Well I'd advice you to concentrate on your studies, so that you don't while away your time. In the next twelve months you are back to Nigeria, so relax.

Traveler: I think I'll carry my condoms from here.

Adviser: Your bag will be searched, and if such is found you will be imprisoned in Singapore for as long as they want.

Traveler: Then I'll wear it before travelling.

Adviser: How? It'll become obsolete off course.

Traveler: I'd be travelling with soap & vaseline, I'd was and lubricate it. At least nobody will ask me to remove my pant so that he could screen me. It's never done. It appears you are dull, am leaving your office now!

Mr. Dan,

I have been looking for an avenue to ask you why you locked the tread Supa Story. May I know please.

Pls dis tread shoud be locked, demolished and never shall it appear again in this forum, not even in the shit section.

I used 2 have a friend who would always sing:

"I have a BIG-BIG head(X2), In him I trust(X2). Halleluyah, BIG-BIG head."

Sorry na, your username is yours for d taking, to the end of the world.

My people,

It is more than obvious that our country is corrupt, wicked, useless, etc. But I'd suggest we reduce the amount of time we spend thinking about the poor state of our nation and think about how we can contribute our quota into making sure that things turn around for the better.

"If we angrily leave a dead man who died out of foolishness, then those living will definitely not enjoy being there except he is buried".

We have the hosting rights and the players are our brothers, please bad mouth them small.


LIVE & LET'S LIVE. Na so!

SUGGESTION to customer:

If u still have some free space on ya hard drive simply use Norton girlfriend ghost 11.9 to partition the system. So u can still run Girlfriend 7.0 on one side and Wifey 1.0 on the other side. And if there is more space u can install Girlfriend 7.0 & Concubine 6.9(OLD but very nice OS) they both are compatible.

Blessed are those who post dots(.) and blank spaces().

I think that's how big their minds are.

Just an opinion

ALL my pple am very sorry if I've kept u waiting. But u know this is supa story. It comes gradually!

Tanx to all who were patient enough to read through. Nigeria -pls improve ur reading culture. It only takes 3minutes to read through this passage.

Abbey_city:
wow!!!! i don read am d story swit thou. . . . but d suspence bed

Sometimes suspence is just nice for d body.

Mr. Ade is a very rich man, who in the lives in the ancient city of Ibadan. He got married to the wife of his dream. However, it was quite unfortunate that his wife died after the birth of their first baby - a boy. Since he loved his late wife so much, he decided not to get married to another woman until the boy grows up. After 12 years, he decided to marry another woman. His son Ola, was not happy at-all. So he prayed that that the woman never gives birth to a baby, and so it was for four years. after which the woman became pregnant and delivered safely, a healthy baby boy. Ola was now more distressed than ever. So he started looking for means to do away with his step infant brother, but it wasn't easy anyway. Whenever he went to school he looked dejected. The security man who mans his school gate noticed it and asked. Ola quickly confided in him and sort help from him. The hausa man laughed and told him to be happy, because the end of his sorrow is imminent. The man asked Ola to come back the next day, he was going to give him exactly what is needed. Before six o'clock(6:00am) the next day, Ola was already in school. Not too long the hausa man came in and gave Ola a white powder. And queried Ola, "what kind off food does the small boy always eat?", Ola replied "only breast sir". The man went on " you will rub this thing around his step mother's nipple while she is unconscious, and if the baby sucks the breast he will die instantly. "But it's not easy!" Ola exclaimed. "Yes I know, now take this perfume. It's not an ordinary perfume, if you spray it any where and somebody inhales it. That fellow will sleep like a dead man. So spray it wherever your step mother can easily inhale it, then you accomplish your task".

Now you can imagine the kind of joy Ola is having. Ola thanks the security guard, gives him all the money he came to school with, his food and dashes home. But Ola has a problem, he can't easily carry out this task due to the presence of his father. So, he had to endure until after two days when his father traveled. That evening Ola quickly sprayed the perfume in the sitting room, with his nose tied while his step Mum was not yet around. At about fifteen minutes to one in the morning(12:45am), Ola went straight to his father's room, carefully opened the door and masterfully applied the poison. You can never imagine how happy Ola was. He rushed to his room and woke up very early. when he woke up at about twenty minutes past six in the morning(6:20am), he started hearing people crying. He quickly rushed down the upstairs where they were staying and learnt it was the security guard of his father that has just died. "What a mess" Ola thought. Now could you guess what went wrong?

This topic is just too interesting to over look. And I'd like it if nairalanders support their belief with an Authority like the Bible. It's content can't be underestimated.

Statements like this are not tangible if they can't back it up with the Bible.

Ogaga4Luv:
[size=13pt]People coming here to spoil this thread with so called bible quotes. . . [/size]

With all pleasure Ttalks = U're the man. Those references are irrefutable.

Additionally some people may consider Scriptures like:

Jeremiah 7:31 - It explains how God reacted to the nation of Isreal when they initiated a mini 'hell fire'.

Ezekiel 18:32 - also explains how God feels towards a dying person.

Additionally Psalm 37:9, Jeremiah 25:31 - 33 explains the fortune of the wicked ones.

I would also want to support my fact logically after all Acts 9:22(Paul used logic). Read and meditate over this lines of though carefully.

Mr. Nicky and Ramsy lived in an apartment with really knowing what job the other did. One of this days the Police came around with a young lady to arrest Mr. Ramsy for some heinous crimes he had committed and it happened that Mr. Nicky was with him in his room that fateful day.
At the Police station were more people waiting to witness against Ramsy. But non said a single word against Nicky whom they never knew. Hence, the officer in charge decided to fine Nicky US$300 for living with a criminal even though he denied not knowing what Ramsy had been doing all this while. Mr. Ramsy was prosecuted in court and was sentenced to twenty years imprison.

Application: Adam and Eve are represented by Mr. Ramsy all offspring of Adam & Eve from Cain to the smallest baby are depicted by Mr. Nicky who are not even aware of what Adam & Eve did. But as the law demands we must share some their punishment. Now take note that Mr. Nicky never suffered more than Ramsy who is the culprit. Similarly at Genesis 3:19 we see God remind / pronounce Adam & Eve their punishment. If humans in their imperfect state will try to main justice by not transferring punishment from the culprit to some other person how can God almighty in his infinite wisdom and mercy be so unjust to punish us more than Adam & Eve.

Remember that the sin we are under today is even the inherited one. If most of us were created with a perfect body and mind like Adam & Eve I can assure you that we may not behave they way they did.

SO IF ADAM & EVE WHERE SIMPLY SENTENCED TO DEATH BY RETURNING TO THE DUST HOW CAN INHERITORS OF THE SIN SUFFER MORE THAN THEM. God almighty is a God of Justice Deuteronomy 32:4.

jamace:
  Nice one.

But are you sure that INFANTS enjoy INFANTRY?    

U know what u're up to

Some pple will definitely look like this on their wedding or weeding day. Whatever

@Megastu

I am glad to meet you online I'll give u a call. Thanx man

Delta007:
Ekeroyal, unless you plan to travel to China, I'd advice you to deal with the N.American market. You'd get a better value for your buck. What kind of goods are you interested? I see you are on tradekey.

I actually got registered to Alibaba since 2007 and never had any real trade transactions because of what's been happening there. I have had a series of contacts inviting to join tradekeys, but I've always ignored them. I'm actually interested in used Laptops and there parts.

Fhemmmy:
Alibaba is full of nigerian scammers.
But i do admit that chinese are scammers too.

Yes i understand that very well. But this particular encounter I had is from a Chinese. I've been meeting her online for some time and had other pals who were also interacting with her although from other countries. And even another girl on Alibaba who knows this company very well. She suddenly duped about five of us at the same time. It's a horrible experience.

bashy_demy:
i know say romade go come here cos na adultery person

lmao

I'm really surprised as to why Liverpool will play so sluggish not able to get the French me into the bag They're letting them so much patrol space. Are they pregnant?

I'm afraid that liverpool may go home 4 goals lower than Fiorentina.

Thanks man, I'll call u up.

Just to spice it up a little.

The containers u see in the last pix above is basically used in carrying kunu and Fura-d-nunu. These drinkable substances are highly bombardiers in the stomach. If u're a friend to anybody who takes them u can understand what I mean.

I have always advocated some of this substances are scrutinized by NAFDAC but to no avail. Am afraid because if God happens to visit a Church should any of such consumers be in the church that day and lets the ass-hail out. Then God may destroy the world earlier than he wanted.

Tell them!

bashy_demy:
nice one

Thanks man

A man was caught sleeping with his landlady by his Landlord. And after thorough beating by other neighbors and passersby, he decided to go to court to justify his action. Now before the magistrate he speaks up

"If CARPENTERS enjoy CARPENTRY,

   POETS enjoy POETRY,

   COOKS enjoy COOKERY,

   INFANTS enjoy INFANTRY,

  THEN ADULTS should be allowed to enjoy ADULTERY!"

ABI no be so? YES OOH!

No beef though, just reality. What u see is what u get. Our Hausa speaking brothers shouldn't worry we're together.

Finally we have him in our coffers.

Hahaha! Let's celebrate it.

But Y?, A wHOLE Chelsea suffer like this? Y do pple hate da Blues this way? Are we da first to lose to a seemingly small team?

Even though Wigan suffered a four nil defeat last week, they're now up their slumber and felt Chelsea should take a piece of their mind after the futbol tutorial handed them by da Gunners last week. So don't worry much yet. However, u're still entitled to worry small until da blues confront Liverpool. Then we'll know.

But Y? a wHOLE bLUES, shey! Am I dreaming?

Please I need water to wash my eye(ses) so I can be sure.