₦airaland Forum

Good. Hope no more funds will be spent on this kind of occurrence after 2015 elections. Hoping for peace.

Feel free to share how your friends have helped you.
How have you been able to deal with toxic people in your life?
If you've been in wrong friendships before, share your experience so that others can learn. Thank you.

Being smart and talented is not the single most important factor that determines one’s level of success in life. What you will discover over time is the fact that your success in life is determined to a large extent by the people you spend your time with.

The issue of choosing friends is usually taken lightly but it goes a long way to determine the course one’s life will take on the long run.

How talented and smart you are, where you were born and the family environment you grew up in all play some role as to how successful you will be in life but in comparison to the impact of surrounding yourself with people who can lift you higher, it doesn’t compare.
An individual may be born into riches but live an unsuccessful life while someone from more humble beginnings may be able to achieve his dreams and become successful in a short time. This is all because of the company they keep, and this influences their way of thinking and how they view success.
You need to take a moment to reflect on these:
Who are the people you spend most of your time with?
Do they motivate you or drain you?
Do they elevate you or bring you down?
Are they proactive go-getters who aspire to do great things and who posses qualities that you admire or are they people who just sit and criticize?

Your honest answers to these questions will go a long way in helping you determine the influence your friends are having on you. It will help you know whether they are really your friends or just disguised foes who are subtly bringing you down (intentionally or unintentionally)
Your friends can influence your life in a far more powerful way than you imagine. You wouldn’t intentionally allow a person to alter your desired course in life but influence is subtle and a daily nudge in the wrong direction can take you off course. They don’t just influence your decisions but they can alter your view of the world, change your perception and turn you into a different person.
This is how they do it:
-They change your beliefs about things. Many people have a pessimistic view of things because of the continuous programming they received from their friends in the form of suggestions that are repeated over and over such as “It is very hard to find a job these days” “Things can only get worse” “People like us don’t usually amount to anything in life”
- They affect your self confidence. If your friends think that you are not capable of achieving something, it is very likely that you will begin to accept their opinion of you. If they have zero ambition, their lack of ambition can be contagious. As the saying goes, “You can’t soar like an eagle when you hang out with chickens.”
- They affect your behavior. Your friends’ behavior often rubs off on you. If you are always around someone who is always feeling anxious, afraid or helpless, you will begin to feel the same.
So you see that your friends affect your life to a great extent. It therefore becomes necessary that you surround yourself with people who will add positively to your life and to whom you will also be of help.

The good thing about spending time with positive minded people who have a habit of chasing their dreams and believe in taking responsibility for their lives is that you will be inclined to grow in a positive direction as well.

Over the years, I've had to carefully choose my friends and I am grateful for the friends I have now. They have been of great positive influence. They are people who aspire to do great things and being around them has helped me a great deal. I have often told myself that if I am asked to choose my friends all over again, I will still choose these same people. Not that they are perfect people, no one is. And lest you think that my relationship with them is a parasitic one where I am the only who benefits, it is not. It is rather a symbiotic one because they have also benefited from having me as a friend and together we make a team of ‘unstoppable’ people who want to make something meaningful out of the life and talents that God has given us.

Therefore in this New Year as you progress on your journey of life, it is necessary for you to evaluate your friendships. You need to ask yourself how helpful your association with these people has been over the years. Have they helped to bring out the best in you or have they done the opposite?
You may need to relinquish old friendships and cultivate new ones. Your current friends may be likeable people so it may be difficult to let go but consider the fact that holding on tightly to them is detrimental to your progress in life. Your pursuit of a better life requires fortitude to severe ties when necessary.

While it is good to be nice to people and be able to relate with all kinds of people, it is also necessary that you choose who you closely associate with. You cannot entirely avoid spending time with co-workers or relatives but you can limit the amount of time you spend with them. Hence, you may not have to end some relationships but you need to be prudent in how you spend time with people. By limiting the time you spend with them, you limit their influence on your attitude and dreams. But even then, you have to be discerning because subtle influence can have a cumulative effect.

It will also be good for you to expand your circle of influence. That is, look for successful people and spend time with them. Spending a short amount of time with someone who can encourage and educate you will propel you in the right direction. Seek people and read books by people who have skills and qualities that you admire and learn from them. You can always learn something from someone regardless of where he is in his own life.

Let me end with these words from Robin Sharma,
“Associate only with positive, focused people who you can learn from and who will not drain your valuable energy with uninspiring attitudes. By developing relationships with those committed to constant improvement and the pursuit of the best that life has to offer, you will have plenty of company on your path to the top of whatever mountain you seek to climb.”

Have a blessed year.

Feel free to leave a comment.

This is very bad.
These deluded fellows have surely been brainwashed beyond redemption.

They keep treading the path of destruction taking innocents down with them. The other day it was a couple who volunteered their daughter for suicide bombing. Damn! The individuals who cast this spell of delusion on these people must be very good at hypnosis.

Very unfortunate.

Nice points.
It is high time the youths stopped complaining about what GEJ or past governments did not do or hoping for what the next administration will do. It is time to take your destiny in your hands and do something meaningful for yourself.

To the graduates, sadly, it's no longer a big deal that you're a graduate. Nigeria already has many and many
more are still coming. What will distinguish you from the others is your worth, that is, what you can offer-that
extra thing that every other person lacks. This calls for diversity. There are many persons seeking for limited
job opportunities these days. All of them present their certificates, but the guys who have added more value to
themselves by learning an additional skill and gaining experience while in search of a job will most likely get the
job. People are looking for assets not liabilities. There are many graduates
today who are sitting at home and waiting to be called up for a job. The
question is, what can you offer now? It is adviceable that instead of wasting
your time sitting around, get busy with something productive. Read books
that will give you exposure, books on how businesses operate, self improvement books that will improve
your communication skills etc. Also learn a skill whether or not it's related to your field. If it's related to field,
good, but if not, still keep yourself busy because no knowledge or experience is a waste.

holicalpha:
My dad is 69 he was born in 1946 and he has eye sight problem.... I went with him for the CBN pensioner annual headcount he was asked to bring his letter of employment and retirement, declaration of age,last promotion letter. He could only get the declaration of age and promotion letter ,collected an affidavit for the rest..... I think its a new system introduced to reduce fraud and ghost pensioners.

If that's the case, then this man can also get an affidavit and have this issue resolved.

What is this?
Marry her off just like that? And if we later hear that she killed the man, she will be sentenced to death.
These people should stop pushing these kids to the wall for God's sake.

fritxie101:
And it makes you happy? That the one u call leader is playing politics with the lifes of his followers?
Imagine the number of people that have died, and are still dying: yet you think this is a game. The truth is ure not to blame for your irrational thoughts, its because uve nt lost any1 to d insurgence you take for politics that's d reason behind ur tots.

Did I sound happy? Unfortunately, it is the sad truth. That is the way this country's politics is and you know that what I said is not far from the truth.

bokohalal:
I don die. It is not only the educational and living standards in Nigeria that is falling behind, the thinking prowess of many Nigerians has taken a logical somersault.

What is this about?

Freelancer00:
It shouldn't be a campaign strategy.

Well, I don't think he stated it anywhere that that is his game plan.
This just came out of the reservoir of my own wild imaginations.

Opytim:
You know, another person's strategy might work! He should just leave jare, that's if he really love 'we' nigerians.

You may or may not be right 'cos there is no guarantee that the other person's strategy will work.

Freelancer00:
This excuse is lame sir

Yeah I know, but it is a possibility.

Opytim:
what a weird way of thinking! Why can't he do something now, so that we can know he is a capable leader and worthy for a second tenure just by what he is able to achieve for the nation, but instead of that, he does nothing about the countless lives of people that are being lost just to pursue his own selfish desire of a second term.....then that's selfish and inhumane, and such is not fit to lead/head 'humans'.

It is weird and certainly not the best but you will agree that it is not far from the truth. Unfortunately, that is how this country's politics is.
Politics of collateral damage.

AsherStorm:
Can u hear d pooo ure spitting from ur mouth?

And you had to quote the poo? Oh I forgot, you are the newly employed janitor.

okotv:
if he couldn't do it the first time, what makes you think he would do during the second term

for how long will this huge loss of lives continue

I don't think you understood my post.

Sylvaresta:
What is UPN jawe, and who is Jonathan, because here in france na only Buhari we know

Please remain in France.

When GEJ comes for a second term, it will be hell for these guys. Now he's just trying to get votes from the north and that's why he doesn't want to do anything drastic because of the way some northerners are sympathetic to Boko haram.

But in his second term, when he will have nothing to lose. That's when you'll know that he's not as weak as people think.
Unfortunately, that is politics for you.

Edit: Nobody is actually a weakling in power. When someone exercises restrain in the use of power, it is for a reason and the above stated is not far from being a possibility.

I think it is more important to set up institutions that will help curb corruption. Use of improved technology will certainly fit in somewhere along the line.

Interesting.
Let him start by telling us how far this invention will go in the nearest future.

Love for someone originates from the heart and that's the most important thing. But there is this reassurance that one gets when it is expressed in words.

Though we may not be used to it, it is something we should learn to do often.

The twitter account has been revealed to be fake. This is the height of desperation by the APC supporters.

You keep buttressing the fact that your camp thrives on lies and propaganda.
How can the people trust you when you start by lying to them from the very beginning?
And yet you guys go about chanting 'change'. A change that is built on deception?
That is not the change the people want.

Get a male cook (no homo). No need to start writing a story whose end you may not like.

You want someone of around 25 years to do your chores for you. That's the age at which most ladies in our society think about marriage so I don't think a lady will really be fine with doing chores for a man who is not her husband (when she's supposed to be married or engaged). And what if you happen to get one who is desperate, she may put you in a tight situation and then you end up regretting bringing her into your house.

Pardon me if my imagination has gone too wild. I do not mean any offense to the womenfolk but you'll agree with me that this is a possible scenario.

Free and fair election it is.

As elections draw near, these guys keep pulling new stunts.
All this will stop when a northerner becomes president, right? At least, that is the belief in many quarters.

This is nothing but national blackmail.
But sorry Boko Haram, it is not going to work. Try another card.

Nigeria is bigger than you and your sponsors.

We thank God for the lives of these men.
While it is recommended that we listen to them, let us not idolize any of them because they are humans like us. They are not infallible and that's why the Bible remains our sure reference point with the Holy Spirit as the best teacher.

And if you notice, each of these men emphasize a certain truth in the bible and when you bring their messages together you have a balanced christian. So it is not advisable to listen to your pastor alone because he will only emphasize the truth which he has received much light on. The christian life is not only about deliverance from Satan and sicknesses, neither is it only about prosperity, neither is it only about dealing with sin nor any other thing that the preacher emphasizes. It is God's will that we be delivered from the hands of Satan and sin and it also His will that we prosper. So you see that listening to only one person makes you strong in only what that preacher emphasizes.

I believe that God has a purpose for giving each pastor a point of emphasis. He wants each truth to be fully developed so that his children can benefit from these truths. But most Christians fail to see the big picture and that's why there is inter-denominational 'war' and 'my pastor is better than yours' syndrome.

Like I said earlier, as you listen to them don't forget to test what they say with the Word not in the spirit of antagonism but in the spirit of one who is on a quest to lay hold on truth.

stardragon:
which aunty

You've probably not seen complaints from those who have been banned by the antispam bot. They call it Aunty Spambot.
Funny though.

She deserves accolades for her bravery.

Boko Haram should be the ones facing that firing squad.

It seems the anti-spam bot develops a mind of her own sometimes and goes after some people because I see some people complaining in the past that they've been banned many times by that Aunty Spam

That girl was very lucky. May we all abide under the shadow of the Most High and be shielded from disasters this new year.

RIP to the dead.

This is actually funny.
But one can still say amen without uttering words.

It seems Buhari wants the rules to bend for his sake. Is this how he will bend the rules in his anti- corruption fight if he becomes president?

This is not a good picture considering the fact that he has always been portrayed as one who plays by the rules.