₦airaland Forum

Rokiat:
His self hating green card wanting asss would be best to answer that question.

Sometimes black men really be out here embarrassing themselves. How can you settled for a pale old wrinkled azz woman when there are so many beautiful black queens out there? Foolishness in high places.

He wouldn't have done that if the thousands of single Nigerian ladies in UK, Canada or US come home every December like their male counterparts to pick husbands.
Do you know the thousands of men that singular act will raise out of poverty? And make men not to start opting for the options of grave finished white women?

MrBrownJay1:
sometimes, some women say the most silly thing ever, i swear!!!!

https://www.reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/group-slap.gif

SeaTrade:
Have actually thought of going this route but I'll be betraying a lot of people(staff) and myself(greed) and the fear of wasted potential as well.
Cos I can't lie,I Don dey tire small small and the uncertainties in business scares me badly.

Hmmmmmmmmmmm
The most painful thing about business is that your children may likely not even have interest in the business and feels it is very stressful to run, so after someone's death, they just sell the business off and squander the money among themselves.
A business you put majority of your life into which should have been a good continuity for the kids coming behind.
They will have a huge step above many guys starting afresh because of the years of experience you have acquired along the line. The painful mistakes you have made that they are now building on top of but na lie, the second generation will be sooo lazy, life will so easy and they get it on a platter of gold that they won't have that bad hustling spirit, that roughedness, that never-die-mentality that is needed the sustain and propel a business.
Throughout their lifetime, they were used to going to posh schools, being taken to school by dad's personal driver, the get-inside lifestyle so doesn't have that interpersonal relationship skills needed for sales and marketing, got to university with a gift a his/her own personal car, hardly have or experience relationship heartbreak because everywhere soft, they could date the ladies of their choice so never experience the rude awakening of women to keep them on toes and jolt them to improve. Etc
Bro, the list long.
They are spoilt brats that will sell and squander everything.
Never experience the real hardship of Nigeria.
Visa to US or canada or UK is gotten easily by dad's visa agent, never experience that hardship of queuing and regularly been denied of visas etc

tensazangetsu20:
75k salary and you rushed to get married. How do you even cope with such salary. Rent and food alone especially in the major cities is killing. Na wa o. When will you finish learning work? When will you be good at it? When will you start getting clients? Pikin go go school na. Pikin must chop. You don't have sense op and you are even Igbo. What's wrong with all these small Igbo boys now making Stupid decisions like this. You guys should go and check yourselves o

Raalsalghul:
How do you avoid something that's the norm, abundant and plentiful.

In fact, it's the working woman that can take care of her basic needs that's the exception.

Lol!

Even the working class women have their own share of headaches.
Many are very rude, arrogant, bossy and disrespectful.
In most cases, their earning doesn't even reflect in the home because of the belief that your money is our money but my money is mine mentality

LordAdam16:
Are the kids not hers as well?

And who has been footing the bills she's been racking up? The vacations she take. The shopping trips.

If she no 1 do again, she should move on. Let him have money to spend on her replacement.

Did anyone stop her from starting up something on the side? She's an actress. She could have gone back to work. She could have started her own production company. I'm sure Hakimi would have backed her financially.

Salma Hayek is married to France's third richest person. A billionaire richer than Dangote, Adenuga, Rabiu, Ote$, Elumelu combined. She still makes millions per movie.

But this one wants to live the high life and now wants 50% of assets in a <3 year marriage. Awon oshi!

If the kids are the problem, she should leave them. How much for nanny?

Na she carry matter go court. Because I know rich Middle Eastern families do not send women packing empty-handed unless their cup don full. I know that for a fact. But she no like wetin dem share give am, she 1 form king kong.

50% of assets. As e no get family again na. And I don't know why you're threatening with "he should marry his mum".

He is a Middle Eastern Muslim. Them go find one cousin for am marry. Give am two extra sef as kolanut. Who you dey wyn?

-Lord

Puss360:
I so much love this question...
When I keep saying that marriage is not for everybody, people keeps condemning me...
Why will you get married to someone whom you don't trust?
Don't you know that marriage is more or less for life?
If all your life you are still searching for "the one" and you haven't seen, keep searching. Don't settle for less, because questions like this you will give the wrong answer.....
Marry your friend. Marry someone who makes you smile.

In my opinion, a Man's next of kin should be his wife in everything.
A Woman's next of kin should be her husband.
Then their properties will be inherited and shared among their children legally when they(parents) die....
Simple

At the bolded..........i think we should ask Hakimi's wife why she married who she didn't trust? because she wanted to elope with billions of naira for just mere rape allegation of her husband. She couldn't even stay behind him when he needed her most.
If marriage is more or less for life, how come she served the man a divorce notice just 3 years into the marriage. Just 3 yes oooo. So much for life.

saphiere:
Please drop your answer with reasons.

For me, I'd say his wife.
My reasons;
1. His wife takes care of his children.
2. He grows old with his wife.
3. His mum might die before him.
4. His wife is always there by him.

He grows old with his wife. - Did you just say this? for a woman that didn't even last 3 years in marriage. So much for growing old together.

His mum might die before him - Likewise his wife might die before him or he die before his mum.

His wife is always there by him - Lol, for a woman that just went on a date with another man less than a week after divorcing her hubby. Lol. They play

Skepticus:
It's apparent that money, fame and does not buy sense. It's worse when it buys you a physical/mental disastrous liability that could make you lose all the money in a moment.

Among the most famous of men on earth, those in the entertainment industry of Sports, Music and Movies tend to commit to the worst of women/who.res.

It's either a footballer is married to a lady older than him who has divorce-raped an older footballer or a musician getting married to a groupie/model/influencer (or whatever fancy names they use to hide the fact that they are who.res) that has been fûcked and passed around by several other musicians/celebrities.

I've always wondered what encourages these men to take these self-destructive decisions despite the clear red flags.

Bro,i am always amazed for their decision making too.
It makes me to think rich men get the bad girls while poor men get the loyal wives because there is high rate of infidelity among rich dudes wives and i do ask, what else do they need? but sometimes i get the answer that most of these ladies are models, front page magazine girls etc that got hooked up to rich dudes.

Nazgul:
Geninue friends can take your social life to the next level. One doesn't have to be in a relationship to achieve that.

Everyone has a role to play and their role can't replace the role of another.
The role of your mum defers from your friend and the role of your friend differs from that of your lover.
When i had no woman, during my birthday, my mum called me, sang happy birthday to me.
Family and friends called me yet i still felt not complete without a woman i can say is my lover doing same too.
They all have their roles to play

pansophist:
If you choose not to bank with GT bank anymore and decided to pathways, do you take half of all GT banks assets? Or you just take your money ?

Abi oo

Nazgul:
What's so special about having a boyfriend?

Companionship.
Humans are social animals and the world is one big boring place without a companion

LordAdam16:
I agree that lots of (maybe most?) women married to poor men are beyond tired of the marriages.

But they're trapped. Combination of societal and practical factors make a lot of them remain in the marriages. There are simply not enough men out there to "rescue" these women, even if they agree to share the well to do men.

And that is the boon for the poor men. And they get all of those services that a middle (and higher) class men spend through his nose for almost free.

It is why I brought up the analogy of private school teachers. Chat with any teacher in these mushroom private schools. All of them don tire for their employer. Na every time dem go remind you say dem get CV, if you get connect to anything better. They all want to leave and have lots of complaints about their employer. But they can't leave. They're trapped.

Unemployment rate will rise to 41% next year according to KPMG. The proprietors and owners of these schools are making money hand over fist. And the trapped workers have to show up. And teach. And prepare lesson notes. While they're resentful. Who send your papa! If you get mind resign, owu go knack you akpako.

Poor men should give up looking for "happy" marriages. That age when a woman will endure and enter "War room" is gone and never coming back. When you're poor, they'd cheat with reckless abandon. They'd disrespect you. The issues no dey finish. But you see those benefits I listed, they're still available to everyone including the collectors that rummage through bins for metals.

I get it that you think the cons outweigh the pros. But for a lot of these men, having failed at a lot of the stuff we use as milestones. Having a nuclear family is one of the few things they look at and are like "I still try". And as we've both agreed, you can't beat the affordability of marriage for the lower classes. Nothing comes close.

About those married women in your Whatsapp and in wider society. Na d koko b that. Everybody dey find escape hatch. Suffer for Nigeria no b anybody mate. Unfortunately for them, no b all of them go succeed. Like the private school teachers, they'll show attitude and be disrespectful and all that; but them go still find way carry out some of their "wifely duties". Since they're trapped.

-Lord

Hmmmmmmmm

Soooooo true

dhiqson:
Update!!

Kobojunkiee:
1. In California?

2. It's not the Western world abeg! What this man did was underhanded. For the last 5 years, his family has been deprived of the full benefits of his salary because he was busy hiding it under his mother's name. Come on! That is 419!

Which 419?
Is it the woman that arranged another lady to claim her husband raped her so that she can run a street on him is not a fraudster too?
Or is it only when it involves a man that we all realize it is fraud?
So for just rape accusation, the so called lovely wife is ready to elope with millions of dollars? Is that not a Scammer? A fraudster? A 419er?
Or are you not seeing that because she is a woman?
The man is not beating her, not maltreating her, didn't have any kids outside the matrimonial home yet the wife wants to run a street on him.
Just a week to the divorce case, she is already going out with another guy, didn't you see the picture of the date she went to? Says a lot about a woman that calls herself a wife.
So my own wife file for divorce today and next week she is in Mr Biggs with another man, laughing, drinking and took pictures while waiting for the court to divide my wealth.
Yet you turn around and call me a 419er.
The joke is on you all

LordAdam16:
In fairness, na poor people need marriage pass.

Poor guys just have to accept infidelity as an occupational hazard. It is what it is.

It is difficult, probably impossible for many. But poor people gain so much from marriages to abandon it completely. I include co-habitation in this category.

Here's why I say so. If you want to put a price tag on a cook, egg donors, surrogate, child minder, laundry, housekeeper, estate manager (keep things going, represent you at a family or social function) for years; it's outrageous for the poor. But when you find a partner, you get all that at far lower than market rate. Sometimes, they even pitch in.

Infidelity is the sticking point for most men. Per disrespect, let her vent. Private schoolteachers in Nigeria are not the happiest workers in Nigeria for a reason.

-Lord

Lord Adam, Lord Adam my friend
Na this your big big grammars they burst my head pass.
Occupational hazard, Market rate inside relationship matter. Chaii
I have seen so many women tired of being married to poor men.
If not for societal rebuttal and a little bit of home training/family they came from won't agree with their decision, they would have all gone from the so called marriages.
Many relationships and marriages will go down the drain in this era. No be curse, it is what it is.
While marriage remains the cheapest for of inter-relationship between man and woman, of recent, it is becoming so toxic for poor men that questions are now been raised if cheapness should be raised above sanity or sanity/rest of mind should be above an affordable relationship in the form of marriage.
I know how many married women are in my WhatsApp who have told me they are tired with the poor marriage and won't hesitate to leave the man if the opportunity comes.
Even one last month, a pastor Mrs in the church secretly told me she wants to do passport and process UK teachers visa that is opened now and if it clicks, she will pick her kids and leave the pastor unknown to the man.
We are living in a perilous time bro.
Let me show you the one that even happened last weekend

heartofcity12:
Sometimes some of these men behave like they’re under a spell..

Honestly bro

Honestly

heartofcity12:
👏

Chaii

Upon all the money wey this guy get and all the fine fine young ladies ready to date him, he chooses a woman 16 years older than him and with 3 kids from another man.
No be juju be that?

Epositive:
it's a lucrative venture, though poorly managed. The manager who took me there resigned after a year because he couldn't get along with the uneducated laborers who have been there long before him. Some of them literally live on the farm. He was trying to reduce the "chuachua" and propose bigger ideas so it became issue. I was there for just a semester but I must say, farming enterprise requires a strong hand to manage. There are many people ready to run you down in the name of "na where man dey work, na there e dey chop".

Why are your farms no longer running?

At the bolded is really really true.

Why are your farms no longer running? - Many factors bro which are but not limited to -

- Nature of my job. I am not always around to monitor it so the people i delegated the jobs to always give lackadaisical attitude to the farm.
- Theft of seeds and chemicals
- High labour cost
And many more.

FORWARDEVERLY:
I encountered you first during the early days of the Great Reality Every Man Should Know Thread... And I have always likes your personality and if there is a list of 3 nairalanders I would like to meet one day... It is definitely You, Luminouz and CaveAdullam...

Bro.. Back to this thread .. all you said here is Facts... I remember back then as an undergraduate/Broke years..
I see shege... You see that "Philosopher" part you mentioned... I was one then, and despite all my epistles.. Dem girls always serve me breakfast...

The OP has now gotten his own rude awakening and the veil of "there are some good girls out there" is now off his eyes...
He should just work on his finances, take some Pills (preferably RED) and define his goals and wants from women going forward ..

Like a close buddy would say.... "We must learn a lesson" ...

Nice to see your comments again... Have a nice day bro .

Thanks bro for the good appraisal you gave me. Really delighted.
To the topic - When i make comments, it is mostly from past experiences so it is quiet normal for people to understand and relate with it.
Going forward, any man that is not financially stable should avoid long time relationships or marriage, if not, na that thing go kill am.
Just like the way nature has partitioned life into classes and what we should get at each level, today's marriage is designed for the rich and middle class.
If you are poor, it will be advisable to stay away from it but there are more pocket-friendly packages for the poor and struggling like Co-habiting, Bed-mates, Hook-ups etc that are specifically Tailored for the poor but dem no go gree. All of them wan marry
mtcheeeew

JFOD:
Will you say 110k is outrageous? X-ray not included and I doubt they'd be doing eye test. I think it's just blood , heart etc test

Outrageous bro, outrageous without x-ray and eye test.
Outrageous

Epositive:
I feel you. Life is hard. Life is harder when you don't have foundational support. But you know the hardest part? Nobody cares! The earlier you accept this, the better for you. Yes, if you commit suicide today, the loss is on you.

While it's natural to feel enraged and downcast about life situation, the best way to get out of a sad place is "getting out", the process. There are students working around you. Infact, when sapa wanted to blind me , it ironically opened my mind that I discovered there are many students working around and I had a lot of jobs to pick from. Solar installation, photography, barbing, bet9ja attendant/cashier, oil palm production to mention but a few but I learned photography while working the oil palm factory on weekends. I even wrote projects for about 10 of my mates in final year. I nearly died. But then, money must be made.

Finish second semester. Get engaged. Manna don dey finish from heaven. You're in a state university, move close to the indigenous students that are working. They have the connects. The pay will go a long way. I'm talking from experience. If you want to keep whining, there are a lot of Nairaland empty pages to exhaust.

I love the last comment.
How far with the palm oil processing bro?
I did it in 2015 at Ozoro but shut down the company a year later.
Had a palm oil farm at Ogbemudia, Edo then too for harvesting the palm fruits

Nazgul:
She's a highly emotional person. Next time you see her crying, join her and cry, you won't die. After all you love her.