₦airaland Forum

McCoy662:
Good morning Nlanders, I have this very issue bothering me. I have been in a relationship with this girl for about 3 years now. I love her so much, and she loved me until of recent when she told me that she's no longer interested in the relationship. She told me the stern truth that she was seeing someone else.

It's not like I don't take care of her, because I have given her almost everything she requested from me. I bought 90% of her clothes myself as she can't even buy for herself if I give her the money. I pay her bills too.

Just about 2 months ago, the said guy called me and told me that his gf (my gf) said I'm her ex, and they are now together. This guy is not that rich, he's just on average income scale, he's not super handsome and the worst is that, this girl calls and comes to my house for sex anytime she feels like. But that's all, we are not friends like before, we don't go out together, she don't even oblige my requests anytime I ask her for anything. She doesn't even visit on a regular except for sex.

Right now, I'm fed up; I'm tired of being in this love triangle, though I love her so much.
My guys advised me to beat her up and warn her never to come close to my house again, but I just can't. Though I feel used as a sex object, but I just can't say no to this girl's request.

I don't just know, am I being stupid?? Is there a Best way to handle this in a more diplomatic way?? I really love this girl.

princejayy:
Good day great intellectuals of Nairaland.

Overtime, I have seen people on this forum address issues on/for/about people with 2.2 and 3rd class and advice them on what to do next, however neglecting the 2.1 and 1st class category.

As a recent graduate, the future looks bleak. I would like matured advice on the next step and how to move forward from here. As you know, every decision at this point is quite critical.

I graduated from Mechanical Engineering department. Engineering professionals, your views are welcome here please.

jarawa:
https://www.dailytrust.com.ng/we-can-handle-coronavirus-health-minister.html

Heistman:
police dey work if dey wan work o Make den hold am well, no be hin first time

Sunofgod:
What a barbaric backward country and people.

Omoakin120:
Hello everyone, I have something bothering my mind for a long time which I need an advice on.

I have a girlfriend who I really love so much, we were friends before I started falling for her, we've been together for long, I enjoyed her company, she's the best woman to me, she's everything you'll love a wife to be in character, caring, love and all.

Unfortunately, I have a problem, and the problem is that, she's not that beautiful to me. I'm a kind of person that doesn't like trying what my mind doesn't fully want, whenever I think of her, it's only that aspect I don't always like.

I've always fantasized of marrying someone very beautiful cos that's what I want. The problem is that this girl is so good to me. I have no problem with her, but I'm only thinking I can get fed up of her with time cos of her beauty which is not up to my expectation and I may likely cheat on her.

Please, I don't know what to do, can I still risk being with her or leave her?

mrbenjame:
I think I need matured minds to advice me because I’m very confused right now. Please take pains to read my story.

I dated a lady called Susan (not her real name ). For 4 years. I loved her so much and she did too. I met her when She was preparing to enter the university. 6 months into the relationship I went for service. Came back and it was already clocking 2 years. Whenever she visits I always try to make her comfortable. So she took advantage of my care and always wanted me to serve her all the time. Even when she visits from school she would be operating her phone and watch me do what on a normal terrain she should assist me do. As a young guy I try as much as I can to let her know that at least once in a while it would be nice to get my meal served by my woman even if I prepared it (since she doesn’t like entering the kitchen). Most time I overlook it because probably she’s very tired and all that. Sometimes I thought I was just being selfish but I really wanted to feel that woman attributes but I wasn’t seeing it.

Each time we fix time for a date she comes very late and that piss me off to my bone marrow. She never keeps to time. I endured this for a long time because she never turned up early in any appointment. She calls me at late hours and when I try to explain to her that it’s late she gets angry ( I’m talking of 12 am or there about) and I’ll go to work the next day. Anytime she offends me she would want to be romantic so I’d forget her wrongs just to calm me down. But I was suffering inside.

I felt very weak emotionally and decided to take things easy.

Until I met this lady called Benita (not her real name). I liked her. I admired everything about her. So I approached her while we were going back home from work. We had good conversations and I was happy because she was fun to be with. We exchanged contact and we started chatting. Forgive me because I became happy again just talking to her. Whenever we say goodbye when she gets off the bus she times when I’d get home and immediately I step my foot in my house she calls.( already I’ve told her when I’d be home). I invited her to a date in an eatery and she turned up 10 minutes to the time. I was shocked.

I became more involved with her. I invited her home. She went to my kitchen and she said “ your plates are not washed why? I just smiled and told her I’ll take care of that. Before I knew what was happening she’s started washing the plates. I begged her to stop because I didn’t send her to do that and besides it’s her first time in my house. But she refused. I let her (though the plates were not much but I was happy). She started visiting often with food items to cook. And I obliged to assist her. She refused again. We argued until she had her way. I just sit with her in the kitchen and gist while she cooks. To me I felt I was punishing her because all I wanted is that things of such can be done by her once in a while. (I sabi pity person o. Lols!). And secondly I’m not used to a woman doing things for me for a very long time now.

She calls all the time. Talks so lively and very funny. She’s not the miss romantic type but very smart and reserved.

After a while, you can’t cheat karma. Susan found out. She came to know about Benita. And since then it wasn’t easy settling between two of them. But Susan won’t just give up and I think I’m cool with Benita.

Today Benita is in her 100 level while Susan is about going for her service.

Now I’m trying to be responsible to settle down. I talked with my mum and some close friends of mine but they’re tipping Susan for me because she’s out of school and it would make things much easier for me than settling with Benita. But I love Benita now. She makes me happy. What do I do?

themonk:
This davido issue have taught me that the heart of man is wicked. People are waiting for you to mess up so they can humiliate you, it is a process that makes them feel better about their wretched selves.

Most human beings are like vultures, they will not hunt you down o because they are powerless, but immediately you you die they will come and feast on you. Alot of people hate successful people deep in their hearts, when the stupid rumors about peruzzi and chioma came out people started making jokes like the rumors were true, can't you even respect their relationship. People have hated this chioma right from the start, especially women even here on nairaland. Is it a crime that Davido loves her? Is it her fault your life is miserable?

Same thing is happening between Prince Harry and Megan, the heart of man is full of evil.

IrepChrist:
Rumours of War (US vs Iran)
Earthquake (California and other parts)
Natural disasters (Wild fire in Australia)
High level of Sexual Perversion etc ...


Jesus is coming soon[b][/b]

rosy1992:
A man who marries a virgin doesnt fall in this category.

E685:
My wife and I have been together for 8 years now, married for 5. I am 33 and she is 30. We now have our first child, a son who is just turning 1. He is everything to both of us. Before our son, our relationship was strong, although to be honest I’ve always been frustrated with my wife’s way of handling issues. I’m the kind of person who is very hard to get angry, I hear people out, and I talk out my issues. I listen to all sides and I think logically before emotionally. I seek therapy when I’m stuck. My wife is the opposite. She reacts with emotions first. She is very quick to be offended by anything. She will shut down and refuse to communicate until she has had time to process. I do all of the work resolving issues we have. I sometimes wonder if I ever stop taking the high road and work through our issues, if anything would ever resolve itself. So that being said, conflict management aside, we are happy. We are passionate, have similar interests, and make each other laugh.

Then there’s my mother. Where to begin. My mother, while seen as incredibly loving and generous to many people, is also a person who has been shut out of so many relationships in her life that I really just feel bad. My father and her are divorced. She has a genuine phobia of being left out - of gatherings, of relationships, of family. She is extremely smart and knows how to manipulate people into doing what she wants. She also widely seen as a “difficult” person. She is difficult in that she finds great offense to issues many people would not notice or care about. If she feels wronged, she will overwhelm the person who wronged her with incessant questions trying to make them feel her side until they cave in. In her closest relationships, her absolute need for the show of love and inclusion and validation cause the very people she is trying to reel closer in to push her away, a self fulfilling prophecy. My Mom, while I love her, is her own worst enemy.

Needless to say, these two, my wife and my mother, clash. At first they liked each other. The very first issue involved our wedding planning. My wife had a very clear plan for the guest list, and my mom asked for a number of her friends to be included on the list. My wife did not want that, got immediately upset and the situation blew out of control. My mom called me nonstop asking why my wife could be so cold, unwilling to see her side, or give in even an inch. My wife felt my Mom was making the wedding all about her, and could not believe she was called cold. She was “done”. My mom wasn’t paying for a cent of the wedding either so this was another offense. In the end I brokered a compromise, much to the dismay of both women. Each held the grudge for a long time.

Occasionally my mother would do something that my wife disliked, and my wife would be pissed at me for not standing up for her. Admittedly I had never stood up to my mother, I always took the time to listen to her side and find reason behind her otherwise inflammatory ways. My wife and mother had a falling out right before the wedding, and forced me to choose sides. I struggled as I found both of them to be at fault. I chose my wife and my mother hated it. Ever since, basically anything that my mother says or does, whether good or not, offends my wife. Even the most genuine attempts by my mother to reach out to my wife are smacked down. My wife has never made any effort to release the past resentment. Over the years my mother has attempted to take the high road, only to be barely acknowledged by my wife. I have always pleaded with my wife to at least pretend to like my mother. She did a bad job of pretending because my mother would always call me and ask why my wife appears to never care or never let go of past feelings. So both saw through each other, my mother would continue to act happy and loving, while my wife never would.

Anyway now our son came into the picture. He is amazing and being the first grandchild on both sides, the grandparents want to be around him every chance they can get. My mother visit every weekend. I told my wife we have to let her do this. My wife dreaded this. I told my mother that one of the weekends, we wanted her to visit on a Sunday (staying over till Monday morning) instead of a Saturday because we had plans that Saturday. In actuality the day was a birthday celebration for my father in law, being held at her parents house. She just didn’t want my mother involved in everything so she put her foot down. My mother wouldn’t take no for an answer and pulled it out of me what we were doing that day. Well she took great offense to the fact that she was not automatically invited, and couldn’t believe how cold, unChristian, and I loving my wife and her family were.

This stuff affects me greatly so of course I share with my wife, and she exclaims she is done with my mother. No longer wants to be nice or pretend, she is tired of how much my mother always wants it all to be her way and then throws out insulting and hurtful words about my wife to get her way. I get messages from my moms friends telling me how I need to see things my moms way, they would never exclude their mother this way, and that my wife is causing all of this.

And so here we are. I saw my mother the next day, and my wife removed herself from the situation by staying out for the day. It was incredibly uncomfortable. I told my mother how mad I was at her for always being so difficult and never just letting it go. I told her my real feelings about how I wished she could stop needing such inclusion and love. Her response was that she is justified in wanting to be included in everything, and that my wife has never shown her any love or effort and it was obvious, so what could she possibly do? I told her my wife is willing to work on this, perhaps in professional therapy. But in reality my wife wants no part of that and has no desire to mend anything anymore. I think she resents me for trying to mend things.

So what do I do? I’m frustrated with my mom for being difficult, always needing more and never letting things go, and saying inflammatory things when she doesn’t get her way. But I see that all she’s ever wanted was peace and love, and my wife never gave her that. I’m frustrated with my wife for getting so easily offended at everything my mother says or does, and I wish she could make any effort to see the other side and let go of such a grudge. My mother is definitely strong willed and manipulative but I think there is love there if only we could work through it. My wife is extremely assertive and refuses to let anyone wrong her twice. Both think the other has always been dead wrong, the entirety of the blame, and will never change. My wife is ok never seeing my mother again, yet my mother says she wants to let bygones be bygones and attempt to work through it.

What should I do? Forever stuck in the middle. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

azpekuliar:
The Tenement rate is a tax on the occupation of property not the ownership of property. You may own a property and not live there, so the responsibility to pay the Tenement Rate then becomes that of the tenant. However, if the property is owner-occupied then the landlord/owner pays the Tenement Rate. The Tenement Rate is a critical source of revenue for Local Governments.

However in Lagos, the State Government usurped the powers of the LGAs to demand and collect Tenement Rates, by promulgating the Land Use Charge through it’s House of Assembly. So the Tenement rate, Ground rent and Neighborhood Improvement Charge were all fused together to become the Land Use Charge (to the chagrin of the LGAs) and landlords became primarily responsible for it’s payment, not tenants.

Now there are so many properties in Lagos that have not yet been enumerated or captured in the LUC database so they are currently not being assessed yet for LUC payment. Properties in this category are most likely still being assessed for the old Tenement Rate so the tenant(s) or whoever is in occupation is expected to still pay the rate to the coffers of their LGA office.

FutureFocus:
As a Social Worker, I want to find out the following please,

1.The state where this well is located in Nigeria
2. The LGA , The Chairman of the LGA
3. The Governor of the State , Commissioner for Water Resources in that state
4. And every other informations I need because it seem the government is far to the people in this community .

They obviously need help and so I'm willing to get them a borehole or a Well at least.
Nice photoshop. From all d response here...shows we are so gullible in this country. How can you not know this is a well photoshopped pics.. common
Thanks.

Please, Help find the location.

hazan041:
Please dear nairalanders I need your dearly advice

Am a student from a university here in Nigeria, it happens that I got 3.39 as my first gp which makes me unhappy but I didn't allow it to depress me... So the following semester I got 4.75 and now out of 8 semesters in total.. Am done with 4 now and my cgp totals 4.26 ... I have four semesters left.. Can I make it to 4.5? And what gp do I need to keep for each semester left to achieve that.... Thank you

Note: Don't talk about how grade doesn't matter in my life, am quite aware too as am not even planning to work with the degree

kayprinz:
sir you can help him go to his bank and report the incident to them with details they will block the account and invite him

shiki:
The only thing Lagosians are afraid of is
#SARS

Goodgod213:
Look 3 years ago I paid for a room self con in Ibadan and after the payment 3 weeks later, one of the neighbors told me they buried the wife of the landlord there. I no even reason the matter because I don’t even go to church at all not even crossover nights. Within 4 months I bought my first car (Honda baby) in that same house, within 3 months I bought my Toyota Muscle.. Even sef no be spirit I Come day fear, I fear say make the Neighbours no set me up as I was the only one packing cars in the compound. I was only one in a Room self con and the rest Neighbours we’re living in Mini Flats and Two bedrooms.

Omo na laziness day make man think say spirit day pursue am. Do you think spirits no get better work than pursue and drag material things with human being.

It is mostly those who are Christians that succumb to such idea. And pastors won’t tell you to double your hustle. Instead they will be fueling your suspicion and cashing out on the little you have

goldenpenny2:
Fellow N/Landers

The future is unpredictable but nobody is praying for bad thing. This question have been bothering me for long. I thought it wise to it with good people of Nairaland and seeking for helpful advice.

As a man, is it advisable to marry the lady who loves you more than you love her?

please advice

xtremeTall:
Hello!!,please kindly spare your 1 minutes and advise me because i think ive been following the wrong path for 5 years...

I completed my secondary School Education in 2014 and since then I've been Applying for the Nigeria Armed forces recruitments,i had wrote their Aptitude Test Exams like 8 to 9 times before i eventually passed the Airforce Exams for 2017.

i went for their Physical screening in Kaduna,we undergo staunch health Screening."Thier medical facilities there are Top notch o"..anyway,i was disqualified for ill health reason,(i have a short sightedness),with tears in my eye i inform my Dad who had been very supportive the news.


To cut my story short,i had been doing some work i don't really like since i gave up Career in the Nigeria Armed force.I am determined to go back to the university and study Law,,i know my parents would be glad to know i had came up with this idea but I'm thinking at 23?..IS IT POSSIBLE..i need your advise pls


Mods pls help

vickydankal:
I support Apostle Suleman on this. They can't try this with Quran or prophet Muhammad. They should not take us for a ride because of our level of tolerant. Delete the app, cancel your subscription and unfollow them on line. Netflix should respect religions and belief systems of it's customers. What is this self, is it because say we too dey soft....?

lonelydora:
So, in you people's mind, this is massive? Mtcheww! You guys have been attending poor people wedding, i swear.

The biggest cake i have ever seen was in a wedding in Abuja sometime in 2009. Cake was designed in form of...i can't even explain it. Couple had to use a platform with ladder to climb up for Cake Cutting.

Only son of a popular politician (names withheld) married only child (a girl) of an army General (now retired)

Omo, in that wedding, Mr. Biggs, Mama Cas, Tantalizers, etc. had their various stands.

Beer brands, soft drink brands, Bournvita, Milo, Supreme Ice cream, etc. had their stands too.

Wedding/Reception was like a carnival. Eat whatever you want to eat, drink whatever you want to drink.

Those women that usually come with polythene bag to pack food got tired of food that day. Drunkards got tired of alcohol too. That was a typical example of "Thou prepareth a table before us"

That was the day i decided to be rich in this life.

Well, to each man his own. To the couple above, Congratulations!

Gerrard59:
From the responses here, it seems appointing Nigerians at the helms of affairs in most companies does more harm than good. Not surprised after all, Nigerian Breweries did same and even Friesland Campina did same. Apparently, it's better to appoint a Botswana or Kenyan national rather than a Nigerian.

On the other hand, foreign investors are the major shareholders in Seplat. Someone has to protect their interests.

Fabolousibk1:
Real estate developer? Lolz You must be stupid for typing that rubbish.. I am sure you're one of this gee guy..hushpuppi is your mentor abi
Don't worry...Your days are number
EFCC will get you soon and your hush puppi
Shebi Mompha is smiling in cell now
Its your turn

aod1:
Hello nairalanders,
I and a friend were considering investment options, and the two ideas as stated above came up, which do you think is the best to go with?
What are the pros and cons of the two ideas?




Mods, please help move to front page so that we can get more insight

Alphafeezay:
This people should allow the dead to rest in peace, please.

Threebear:
This is why private universities are called glorified secondary schools .

Can you imagine the rubbish ?

I heard in Madonna, people get permission to leave the school premises .

Pass your jamb and post UME so you won't be monitored like a criminal in a federal prison

SarkinYarki:
It's an interesting watch but lest be factual lion heart was never OScar grade except we just want to be unnecessarily emotional

Rosay15:
. I Dey tell you
He no fit shout
Lol

zoba88:
A Nigerian pastor identified as Prophet Adebowale Brainard has caused commotion online after he stormed a mall with security men.

Below is what a Facebook user wrote and how people reacted.  .

'This is Prophet Adebowale Brainard. He is heavily guarded by two heavily armed Angels from heaven as you can see here.
His left is Angel Michael, right is angel Gabriel.

His members are using his stickers and anointing oil for their own protection, my question is : why can't he use his own stickers to protect himself?'

Source: http://www.trezzyhelm.com/2019/11/nigerian-pastor-prophet-adebowale.html?m=1