₦airaland Forum

LastOkpaBender:
Please what was the news story about?

Catholic Priest Wakes Up From 17 Month Coma, Converts to Islam

Read the comments if you want to laugh.

They'll also need to stop opposing women's reproductive rights and discriminating against females. Even al-Qaeda has female leaders than the catholic church. How sexist must you be if Islamist terrorists are more progressive than you! I guess that's what happens when your whole organisation is a sausage-fest full of virgins and pederasts who have no wives or children and no clue about women's issues or the realities of modern family life.

For me, this is just another lame attempt to maintain their relevance. When even devout Catholics are increasingly routinely ignoring their nonsensical teachings on contraception, abortion and gay rights; I'm sure the Vatican can see which way the wind is blowing. The catholic church is already on life support in Europe. Young people in America are abandoning them in droves. And with increasing wealth and education, the third world won't be far behind. Their culture of child räpe, cover-ups and hypocrisy has cost them any shred of moral authority they have left. The fact is church is dying and they know it. Unfortunately its the same resistance to change that made them look so solid in the past that will be their undoing. Its fun to watch them flail around desperately looking for a solution. I feel like making some popcorn.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=myGzvGCgnsc?t=46s

@OP
It doesn't have to make sense, that's why its magic. Don't you understand how magic works? Let me break it down for you: When the priest prays over the consecrated host, it becomes the body of the lord. Yet it still looks like a biscuit, smells like a biscuit and tastes like a biscuit. If you put it under a microscope, you won't see cells or extra-cellular matrix, all you'll see is magnified biscuit. Yet it is still the lord's flesh because Jesus said so and so did the catholic church. You have to have faith.

Its just like when people go to church for financial breakthrough. The pastor prays over them and they receive their miracle. Yet when they get home, their are still as broke as when they left (minus the tithes, offering and lost earnings from the work they could have been doing while they were spending time in church). Their landlord will still be disturbing them and their children s school fees will still be unpaid. This doesn't mean that their prayers haven't been answered. After all they prayed in Jesus name so they must have received bountifully and are now, in fact, filthy rich. It Just means that Jesus is magic, so when he answers your prayers you cannot use your carnal mind to see, hear or detect the positive change in any way. You have to use your imagination.

Faith is the evidence of things there's no evidence for. Jesus is magic! Remember this and it'll all make sense.

Seriously!?!

WorldNewsDaily is a parody news site. As in fake news. Its written right there in their disclaimer! Did OP even look at any of the other headlines on the site before copy/pasting this nonsense here as fact? There's one that says "Man Threatens To Saw Himself in Half if Scotland Becomes Independent", and "Rancher Shoots Down UFO Near Area 51" The story doesn't even make any sense yet this is the third Nairaland thread I've seen on it, don't you people even think?

Follow OP's link and see how many brainless Muslims are celebrating this fake news. The clowns who wrote it must have laughed themselves into the hospital by now. This is yet another clear example of how religion makes people stüpid. The real miracle of islam is how you möröns are still able to read, write and feed yourselves even though you're so dumb.

Jesus!!!

There is no source so this story probably came out of OP's ynash, yet there are still serious problem with it.

An 87 year old man suffered high energy trauma and lost consciousness meaning he's suffered a traumatic brain injury. Then he wakes up and starts espousing a religion he knows nothing about and your first response if "alhamdulilahi"? If it was your father or your uncle, shey you wouldn't immediately demand for a brain CT or MRI scan to find out what problem has caused such a sudden change in character before it causes him to slip back into unconsciousness and die?

And what does it say about Islam that it takes brain damage to convince someone to convert to it?

Muslim women should wear cardboard boxes in order to cover all traces of their femininity and eliminate any possibility of tempting any male who happens to glance in their direction.
https://www.selftrading.co.uk/images/cardboard-box-8.jpg [img]https://www.nairaland.com/attachments/461760_cardboard-box-6_jpg6f8fe3b6aed4ff5bdd44677ead7618a1[/img]

Also, I've always wondered why women have to cover up to protect men, while the men are free to tempt women with their hard biceps, big chests and tight bütt cheeks. Since the almighty Allah created men and women to be equal in their reward and punishment, shouldn't we men show them the same courtesy and cover up our own ornaments so as not cause temptation?

And if almighty Allah does not mind when women are tempted, what about homosexual men? Do I have to wear the hijab whenever I walk past my neighbour's house? This is a question that has received very little attention, probably because Muslim leaders are, without exception, fat, ugly bearded men that no woman or gay man would want near them. But for young, good looking guys like me, its a big problem. I don't want my irrepressible sexiness to lead my fellow Muslims to Jahannah.

Any qur'anic scholars in the house should please help clarify this thorny issue.

They made the guy resign for sleeping with a consenting adult? I guess that must be a big sin in the catholic church. If he had done the recommended thing and molested a child, they would probably have helped him by moving him to another diocese, or recalling him to the Vatican and giving him a big mansion like they do to the other child molesting priests.

The title is misleading. The article says they are being quarantined, not that they've contracted Ebola. Most people who are get quarantined for Ebola don't get sick.

There were hundreds of people who were exposed and either quarantined or monitored here in Nigeria and only 16 got sick. The reality of the Ebola situation is scary enough, no need to sensationalise it, please.

I'm really happy for her. This is a giant middle finger to all those islamofascist scumbags trying to drag the world back to the 7th century. You can fight progress, but you can never win.

https://cdn.zenpencils.com/wp-content/uploads/2013-02-19-malala.jpg

www.zenpencils.com

waldigit:
My point is the study group has come up with a conclusion that is consistent with scientific tradition which is globally acceptable. So if you have your own scientific proof why not publish it, instead of a mere speculation and armchair theorizing that is not even acceptable to your next door neighbour.

So if some oyimbo "scientists" did faulty research using a nonsense methodology to reach an invalid conclusion, you cannot use your own brain to see that it is wrong? Why do you religious people always have to swallow everything you read without question? Why can't you filter things through your brain and apply some scepticism?

Seriously, its like you guys don't understand how atheists think. You have to critically evaluate every claim before you decide whether its believable or not. It doesn't matter if it was a big pastor or famous scientist that said it, if it doesn't make sense then it doesn't make sense.

Let me get this straight. You people are claiming that the fact that a dying brain that has lost its blood supply and is malfunctioning because it's starved of oxygen and nutrients sees some strange things is your irrefutable proof of life after death?

So if I were to bash you on the head with a baseball bat and you saw stars, what would that be proof of?

It says that this image is from the 4th century, i.e. 300 years after new testament times. The 4th century was a period completely darkened by ignorance and superstition. There is no reason to think these people had any clue what Jesus looked like or if he even really existed. I probably know more about the historical Jesus than the person who made this image simply due to my ability to read, my knowledge of the scientific method and my access to centuries worth of archeological and biblical scholarship.

This image may tell us something about what Christians believed in the time and place it was made, but it tells us nothing about Jesus.

Whenever they dig up a Jesus image from 1st century Palestine, then we'll talk.

ChimeChimezie:
Many churches are against it

Churches are just trying to make you dependent on them. They know that if people realize that they're not neccessary, they'll start to fade into irrelevance. That's why they heavily promote the lie that you're not really married until you do the church stuff. Religion tries to insinuate itself into every aspect of your life so you're constantly dependent on them and you can never leave.

The fact is that people had been getting married thousands of years before there was anything like Christianity. You don't need them for anything no matter what they say.

adesammy1:
Someone to please read and summarize

The tragedy wasnt due to any structural failure. [s]It was a strange magic aircraft that destroyed the building[/s]. A crack team of Boko Haram ninjas snuck into it, planted dynamite without anybody noticing, and collapsed it with a powerful controlled explosion.

Anybody who criticises the great man of god is just a hater and a hypocrite who doesn't understand Newtonian physics.

TB Joshua is the real victim here! All these useless people crying for justice for the 115 dead bodies are just trying to destroy his ministry. Can't you see that its just a conspiracy? Are you people blind!!!

In African tradition, you are considered to be married once you cave paid the bride price. Marriage is really just a contract between 2 people to share property and income, to cohabit and to raise children. All the ceremonies are really just for show, you are married once you have agreed together and said the words. Though just like any other contract, a smart person should get a written, signed document as evidence in case there is a dispute later.

Also, there is no such thing as sin. Sin is a fake disease religious people invented so they could sell you the cure. As long as you and your woman are happy and you aren't harming others, you don't need to worry about what anybody else thinks. You have the freedom to live your life the way you want.

I don't understand how there can be gay Catholics. How can you belong to an institution that has repressed, discriminated against and promoted hate against your people for over 16 hundred years?

But then again, there are also female Catholics so I guess its not so strange.

There is no evidence of reincarnation, and no convincing philosophical argument for reincarnation therefore I don't believe in it.

I can't speak for other atheists, but this is what I believe: My consciousness is an emergent phenomenon from my complex organic brain. It cannot be seperated from it and cannot exist without it. If my brain gets damaged, my personality also gets damaged. If my brain is destroyed, my consciousness, my personality, my self also gets destroyed, never to return. There is no heaven for broken down computers, and no reincarnation either. I wish it wasn't so, but that is the reality and I have to face it.

@Martian

Are you really going to pretend that mass extinctions and anthropogenic climate change aren't happening? Seriously?!? Look, if the the anti-evolution zombies have taught me anything, its that no amount of evidence can convince people of a truth they don't want to know. If you really want to deny what the overwhelming majority of climate scientists have acknowledged, then I'm not going to argue with you.

But you need to realize that greedy corporations and religious people are never going to compromise and they're never going to listen. As long as the entrenched interests are able to get religious people to vote the way they want, there will never be any meaningful regulations. Hell even the US banking industry got away with almost tanking the world economy without any significant new regulations not to talk about a distant and nebulous (but much, much worse) threat like climate change.

You need read some right wing news sources and see what your energy industry friends and their Christian sock-puppets are saying. They're not even pretending to give a fúck. The slightest suggestion of regulating these companies gets demonized in the media and shot down in congress. Even Kyoto that barely scratched the surface of what was needed didn't pass in the US. Cap and trade was recently repealed in Australia even though it was clearly working. And the right wing nutters are like "Drill baby, drill!"

The fact that virtually all the experts in the field are panicking and ringing alarm bells should at least make you pause and think. This stuff is happening. We need to deal with it.

bolaino: I hope you know, you're Not as Intelligent as you think?

I hope you know that you don't know how intelligent I think I am.

I'm glad to see that they're prosecuting him, even though seven years is far too short considering the number of children he's harmed. I though the Vatican was just going to put him up in a mansion somewhere and wait for the world to forget the way they've usually done with their other high-ranking sex perverts.

Animals are going extinct at rates not seen in millions of years. The planet is warming up at an alarming rate which is only accelerating as icecaps melt and carbon that had been frozen away for hundreds of millions of years gets released back into the air. And all this is clearly caused by humans.

There are plenty of things we can do now to slow down the rate of climate change, but american Christian groups and their capitalist friends are determined to block every attempt with lies and propaganda.

Believing that we shouldn't worry because some unknown future technology will save us from climate change is almost as dumb as believing God will do it. For one, technology could just as easily do the opposite and give us even more financial incentives to burn coal and pollute. Plus technology is useless when people are determined to pursue short term profit over long term sustainability.

No matter what fancy tech we invent, there will always be a quick and dirty way to push the real costs of your business on others while keeping the profits to yourself. And that is the real problem with climate change, its really all about greed and selfishness.

bolaino: My learned colleague, Hope is one of the finest points of our existence on earth, Life without hope would be unimaginable, we make plans everyday because we hope to see the next day. Religion feeds off on that hope. I believe the dangers of climate change are over exaggerated.

Religion gives false hope. It makes people make bad decisions and delays them from taking the concrete actions that can actually improve their situation. Look at all those people who waste their time and money with charlatans like T.B. Joshua and Oyakhilome. Many of them have diseases like cancer and the time they've lost would have cost them any hope of a cure. Look at climate change. The planet is being irreparably damaged and religious people are leading the fight to prevent the problem from being fixed.

You keep fooling yourself that the magic man in the sky is going to protect us, but unlike T.B Joshua's victims, its the innocent future generations that are going to pay the price of your stupídity.

Oluwalala: Am not looking for magical solutions, am only asking for guidance from those who have been in my shoes.

What is prayer if not looking for a magical solution? Doesn't the bible say "Jesus is magic" (paraphrased)?

Learn to deal with your problems yourself and stop looking for magical solutions.

bolaino: lol, I see where you're going with this, you're using the Flying Spagethi Monster argument. Hmmm, touche.

Its called reductio ad absurdium. He's just using your own logic in a less familiar context to expose how retãrded it is. You should try when next your pastor makes one of those their fantastic claims. You'll be surprised how different the world looks when you apply a little scepticism.

Don't worry people, this is all real magic. We're not fake at all. Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.

@Nora544
You can't arbitrarily redefine the word Christian every time one of you does something horrible and inhuman. Some real Christians are nice people, and some real Christians are fraudulent scumfucks, that's reality. Google "No true Scotsman fallacy".

All this "God will punish them" nonsense is exactly what the fake pastors like. They want you to leave it to god because, unlike you, most of them have long figured out that there is no god.

If you're angry with fake pastors, then you better do something about it aside from complaining on the internet. T.B. Joshua would be a nice starting point.

*Edited to fix typos (gaddem android keyboard!)

ideyhere: Yes some of the things you said are true...but how do you explain all those ones those days that they give mark at death and when a new child is born, he/she comes back with those identical marks?

That doesn't happen. Don't believe everything you're told. Or at least ask for proof first.

davidylan: This is what really bothers me... the utter incoherence of people like you. You admittedly have zero evidence that evolution is true, but you believe it because we should know that animals are related in so many ways? I mean what the heck are you talking about? In what universe is an egg-laying platypus related to humans?

A maize-cob shares at least 48% of its genes with humans, are we also related to a maize plant?

Yes.

All known life on earth came from a common ancestor. Maize plants are our (very, very) distant cousins, that's why we share DNA with them. Life is one great family tree, and we humans are a twig on one of the branches. That some of us lack the humility to accept this doesn't make it any less true.

Before the advent of modern medicine, traditional African societies had a scarily high child mortality rate. Oftentimes, childhood deaths were clustered in a single family either due to genetic problems like sickle cell disease; or a combination of malnutrition, infectious diseases, bad parenting and bad luck.

Our ancestors had no way to know what was actially killing their kids, so they accepted the explanation that made the most sense to them: evil spirits.

There is no excuse for believing in abikus and ogbanjes in this day and age. OP please take note.

Uyi's problem is that he wants to make the theory of evolution something its not. He's trying to hammer a nail with a paintbrush then complaining that it doesn't work.

The fact is that bacteria were evolving on earth for maybe 3 billion years before the first multicellular life appeared. That and the fact that there must have been multiple evolutionary bottlenecks early on from meteorite strikes and other natural disasters means that we'll probably never be able to tell what the first life looked like by working backwards using evolutionary principles.

To learn about the origin of life, we'll either have to create it ourselves, or discover a completely different tree of life on another world that we can compare to ours. Unfortunately, we are nowhere near exploring distant planets and we only developed the technology to try and recreate life very recently.

Scientists working in the field of abiogenesis have made some very big strides in recent years. The origin of life from non-life is now looking a lot less improbable than it did just a few years ago. We don't yet have all the answers, but the problem is being worked on, give it time.

NB: I found a nice YouTube video that explains some if the recent discoveries. You can follow the links in the description for more info.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fgQLyqWaCbA