₦airaland Forum

Letter to NEPA

September 17, 2008
The Area Manager,
NEPA,
Lagos

Dear Sir,
COMPLAINT ABOUT YOUR SERVICES
I am writing to you with a deep sense of humility and gentleness. I
consider this a great opportunity to communicate with an entity as
awe-inspiring as you. Firstly, I bring greetings to you from residents of
my area in Lagos.

As a dutiful citizen, I consider this letter as part of my civic
responsibilities. Great countries comprise of citizens who are alive to
their responsibilities. As a famous musician once said, "Ask not what
your country can eat from you but what you can eat from your country."

I have benefited immensely from this country; therefore I have decided to
give back.

I want to bring to your notice some strange occurrences which have been
happening in my area.



I want to sadly inform you that in the last 2 weeks, electricity has been
stable. In other words, we sleep and wake up with electricity, we go to
work and come back and electricity is still running. This is terribly new
and It has added DANGEROUS development in the lives of residents of my
area. This is something we are not used to. There is too much electricity
for us to handle. In the first week of constant electricity, I started
acting strangely. I ironed all my clothes because I didn't know when
'light' will be impounded on your orders. After 2 days, the 'light' was
still there. Therefore, I proceeded to re-iron the ironed clothes. My
fridge which had not seen '4 hours' of constant light for months suddenly
started freezing. In order to enjoy the maximum effects of
refridgeration, I have decided to be drinking 20 cups of cold water
before I go to sleep. Once I finish a cup, I put the bottle back into the
fridge. After 10 minutes, the water cools and I drink. I just don't know
what to do. All the Ceiling fans in my house have been switched on
alongside my AC. My deck is playing at a high level. My life is now in
state of chaos because of constant 'light'. My TV and VCD player are
complaining of high blood pressure, as they have been terribly overworked
in the last few weeks. Half of my light bulbs have gone on strike to
protest their resurrection from blissful death.

All the customers in the beer parlour beside my house are complaining
that the beer is too cold and wants to destroy their teeth. Even the rats
and cockroaches are complaining that human assailants find it easier to
track and exterminate them under electric light than under candlelight.

All the witches and wizards that regularly visited me in my sleep have
suddenly taken flight in the presence of "light". Now I have to review my
membership of MFM (Mountain of Fire and Miracles) since their work has
been done. Can you imagine what will happen to the membership of churches
if constant 'light' persists? No more demons, meaning No more offerings!!
Kai!!!!!!!!!

With the above situation not abating, I decided to seek the reason behind
this strange situation. This task was made easy for me when I realised
that it was the work of saboteurs. Sabotage is the main reason for
anything going wrong or right in our country. Our elections were
sabotaged, our president's health is being sabotaged, and Obama's chances
of becoming the American President are being sabotaged by Nigerians.
Therefore this constant 'light' is the handiwork of saboteurs within your
work system. These disgruntled individuals are enemies of progress who
want you to miss your set targets. These enemies want you to score very
low on your KPI assessment. I realised this fact when I stumbled on a
document showing your Key Performance Indicators for every month. These
are:

1. Explosive growth in the amount of Candle-lit dinners and
balcony-bedrooms

2. Massive boom in the sales of Candles, torchlights, generators,
inverters and lanterns

3. Increased work place productivity due to Employees spending at least
16 hours at work because there is no light at home

4. Massive growth of Rock music fan clubs being aided by the endless
sound of generators that are switched on overnight.

5. Volume of human blood being sucked by mosquitoes unchallenged by
ceiling/standing fans

6. Incidence of heat rashes

7. Large Increase in naming ceremonies: When people have no light at
home, what else do they do with their time other than *******?


Sir, I strongly feel that the above achievements will not be possible if
we keep on having 'light'. The saboteurs in your workplace will make you
look stupid and incapable in front of your bosses. The repercussions of
this charade would be unbearable. This is why I am writing to you now. As
a responsible citizen, if I do not volunteer this information, I know
that I will be the one to suffer. The day you realise that I have been
enjoying endless light for 2 weeks, you will pay me back with 10 black
months. The end will be worse than the beginning, thereof. I am at a
crossroad. This is a major dilemma. Should I keep quiet? No I won't. This
is because Evil triumphs when Good Men keep silent. Your incompetent
staffs have left the light switch on and gone to sleep. I know you will
take back all that we have stolen from you but Please remember my house
in the day of recompense.

Your humble servant

Myself

Warm Regards,

Question and Answer

A father and son went fishing one day. After a couple hours in the boat, the boy suddenly became curious about the world around him.

He asked his father, "How does this boat float?"

The father thought for a moment, then replied, "Don't rightly know, son."

The boy returned to his contemplation, then turned back to his father, "How do fish breathe underwater?"

Once again, the father replied, "Don't rightly know, son."

A little later, the boy asked his father, "Why is the sky blue?"

Again, the father replied, "Don't rightly know, son."

Worried he was going to annoy his father, he says, "Dad, do you mind me asking you all of these questions?"

"Of course not, son. If you don't ask questions, you'll never learn anything!"

Poker Game

Six retired Floridians were playing poker in the condo clubhouse when Meyerwitz loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest and drops dead at the table. Showing respect for their fallen comrade, the other five continued playing standing up.

Finkelstein looks around and asks, "So, who is going to tell his wife?"

They draw straws. Goldberg picks the short one.

They tell him to use good judgment, be discreet and be gentle. Don't make a bad situation any worse.

"Discreet?" he asked. "I'll be the most discreet person you will ever meet. Discretion is my middle name. Just leave it to me."

So, Goldberg goes over to the Meyerwitz apartment and knocks on the door.

The wife answers and asks what he wants. Goldberg declares, "Your husband just lost $500 and is afraid to come home."

"Tell him to drop dead!" she yells.

"I'll go tell him," says Goldberg.

A Smart Woman

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident on a snowy, cold Monday morning and it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished. But, amazingly, neither of them is hurt.

After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "So, you're a man. That's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but we're unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days."

Flattered, the man replies, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God!"

The woman continues, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished, but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune."

Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle and immediately puts the cap back on and hands it back to the man.

The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"

The woman replies, "No, I think I'll just wait for the police."

Pay Back

A motorcycle patrolman was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix. The doctors operated and advised him that all was well.

However, the patrolman kept feeling something pulling at the hairs on his chest. Worried that it might be a second surgery the doctors hadn't told him about, he finally got the energy to pull his hospital gown down enough so that he could look at what was making him so uncomfortable.

Taped firmly across his hairy chest were three wide strips of adhesive tape, the kind that doesn't come off easily.

Written in large black letters was the sentence, "Get well quick. From the nurse you gave a ticket to last week."

Good Exercise

I came across this exercise suggested for seniors to build muscle strength in the arms and shoulders. It seems so easy, so I thought I'd pass it on. The article suggested doing it three days a week. Begin by standing on a comfortable surface where you have plenty of room on each side.

With a five pound potato sack in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, then relax. Each day, you'll find that you can hold the position for just a bit longer.

After a couple of weeks, move up to a 10 lb. potato sack. Then 50 lb. potato sacks and then eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100 lb. potato sack in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute.

Once you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each of the sacks.

You Do

My dad and I were talking the other night about love and marriage. He told me he knew as early as their wedding what marriage to my mom would be like.

It seems the minister asked my mom, "Do you take this man to be your husband?"

And she said, "I do."

Then the minister asked my dad, "Do you take this woman to be your wife?" And my mom said, "He does."

Direct Object

Teacher to class: "Give me a sentence with a direct object."

Student: "Everybody thinks our teacher is beautiful."

Teacher: "Why, thank you. But what is the direct object?"

Student: "A good report card."

Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, "What are you doing there, Nancy?"
"My goldfish died," replied Nancy tearfully without looking up, "and I've just buried him."
The neighbor was very concerned. "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"
Nancy patted down the last heap of dirt then replied, "That's because he's inside your fricking cat."

The old farmer's mule had finally died of old age just before spring planting, so the farmer made a trip to town to buy another mule. His $125 didn't buy much, but he was satisfied with his purchase and he made arrangements to return the next day with a horse trailer to pick up the mule and the dealer agreed to keep it overnight for him.
Early the next day, the old man returned. "Jim," said the mule dealer, "that old mule died last night. I'm real sorry to have to tell you this. I know you were counting on it for your spring garden." The dealer offered Jim his money back, but Jim said a bargain was a bargain, loaded the mule on his truck and left.
A couple of months later the mule dealer happened to drive by Jim's place and was astonished to see Jim working his garden on a *NEW* $4,000 garden tractor. Honking his horn, he called Jim over and asked him how in the world he had managed to buy a tractor when not to long ago all he had was the $125 that he'd spent on the mule that died.
"Well", Jim explains, "After leaving with the mule, I had this idea. So I stopped off at the local print shop and had 2,000 $2 raffle tickets printed up. Grand prize: Gardening Equipment. I sold all the raffle tickets to people around town."
"Yeah, but where did you get the gardening equipment?"
"From you."
"No, I mean the equipment you had as the raffle prize."
"I got it from you."
"Jim, all you got from me was a dead mule."
"I know, that's what I raffled off."
"My Goodness, Jim! You raffled off a dead mule?! I'll bet that really made a lot of people mad when they found out about it."
"Naw, not really, the only one really ticked off was the winner, and I gave him his money back."

A policeman was interrogating 3 blondes who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first blonde a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?
The first blonde answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!" The policeman says, "Well, uh, that's because the picture shows his side profile."
Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second blonde and asks her, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
The second blonde giggles, flips her hair and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!" The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two?!? Of course only one eye and one ear are SHOWING because it's a picture of his side profile!! Is that the best answer you can come up
with?
Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third blonde and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?" He quickly adds", think hard before giving me a stupid answer."
The blonde looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "Hmmmm, the suspect wears contact lenses." The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not. "Well, that's an interesting answer, wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that."
He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.
"Wow! I can't believe it, it's TRUE! The suspect does
in fact wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?
"That's easy," the blonde replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."

There was this little guy sitting in a bar, drinking, minding his own business when all of a sudden this great big guy comes in and --WHACK!! -- knocks him clean off the bar stool and onto the floor. The big guy says, "That was a karate chop from Korea."
The little guy thinks "GEEZ," but he gets back up on the stool and starts drinking again when all of a sudden --WHACK-- the big guy knocks him down AGAIN and says, "That was a judo chop from Japan."
So the little guy has had enough of this, He gets up, brushes himself off and quietly leaves. The little guy is gone for an hour or so when he returned. Without saying a word, he walks up behind the big idiot and --Bong!!!-- bangs the big guy off his stool, knocking him out cold!!!
The little guy looks at the bartender and says, "When he comes to, tell him that was a crowbar from Sears."

An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finished all three, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.
The bartender says to him, "You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it; it would taste better if you bought one at a time." The Irishman replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in America, the other in Australia, and I'm here in Dublin. When we all left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days we all drank together."
The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there. The Irishman becomes a regular in the bar and always drinks the same way: he orders three pints and drinks the three pints by taking drinks from each of them in turn.
One day, he comes in and orders two pints. All the other regulars in the bar notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your great loss."
The Irishman looks confused for a moment, then a lights dawns in his eye and he laughs. "Oh, no," he says, "Everyone is fine. I've just quit drinking!"

Private Conversation

While watching a movie recently, I couldn't hear the dialogue over the chatter of the two women sitting in front of me. Unable to bear it any longer, I tapped one of them on the shoulder.

"Excuse me," I said. "I can't hear."

"I should hope not," she replied sharply. "This is a private conversation!"

Zero to 200

A husband was in big trouble when he forgot his wife's birthday.

His wife told him, "Tomorrow, there better be something in the driveway for me that goes from zero to 200 in under 10 seconds."

The next morning, the wife found a small package in the driveway. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Old but still funny, no?

Season Tickets

A wife reading the newspaper to her husband said, "There's a classified ad in here where a guy is offering to swap his wife for a season ticket to the stadium."

"Hmmm."

"Would you swap me for a season ticket?"

"Absolutely not."

"How sweet!"

"Season's more than half over."

If I explain this, or any of my jokes for that matter, then the punch is gone - and the joke wouldn't be worth it's name.
Should you not understand it, just pass. It's not possible to understand all the jokes; understanding depends on our
1. Exposure
2. Background

For every joke, some will get it, and some won't - that's life!This applies to me too as there are some jokes I cannot comprehend on this forum. I trust you will see it that way too. Cheers and just FEEL GOOD!

Here's a quick and simple test for you to take. This just proves that we have become too dependent on computers.

Q: HOW MANY LEGS HAVE YOU?

To find out the answer, look down
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LOOK DOWN - NOT SCROLL DOWN

This one had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days
and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will,
in the future, likely think before she speaks.
What happens when you predict snow, but don't get any?
We had a female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't,
turned to the weatherman and asked:
'So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?'
Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, they were laughing so hard!

The doctor asked him how he was feeling, and the
86-year-old said ,'Things are great and I've never felt better.'

I now have a 20 year-old bride who is pregnant with my child.

"So what do you think about that Doc ?"

The doctor considered his question for a minute and
then began to tell a story.

"I have an older friend , much like you, who is an avid hunter
and never misses a season."

One day he was setting off to go hunting.

In a bit of a hurry , he accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun."

"As he neared a lake , he came across a very large male beaver sitting at the water's edge.

He realized he'd left his gun at home and so he couldn't
shoot the magnificent creature.

Out of habit he raised his cane , aimed it at the animal as if
it were his favorite hunting rifle and went 'bang, bang'."

"Miraculously , two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead.

Now, what do you think of that ?" asked the doctor.

The 86-year-old said ,
"Logic would strongly suggest that somebody else
pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver."

The doctor replied , "My point exactly."

The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Have your parents tell you a story with a moral at the end.

The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.

"Johnny, do you have a story to share?"

"Yes ma'am. My daddy told a story about my Aunt Carol. She was a pilot in Desert Storm and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a small flask of whiskey, a pistol and a
survival knife. She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't break and then her parachute landed right in the middle of twenty enemy troops.

She shot fifteen of them with the gun until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands."

"Good Heavens" said the horrified teacher. "What kind of moral did your daddy tell you from this horrible story?"

"Stay the hell away from Aunt Carol when she's drinking."

A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door.
"Hurry," she said, "stand in the corner."
She rubbed baby oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum powder.
"Don't move until I tell you," she said. "Pretend you're a statue."
"What's this?" the husband inquired as he entered the room.
"Oh it's a statue." she replied. "The Smith's bought one and I liked it so much I got one for us, too."
No more was said, not even when they went to bed.
Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned with a sandwich and a beer.
"Here," he said to the statue, "have this. I stood like that for two days at the Smith's and nobody offered me a damned thing."

While in line at the bank one afternoon,
my toddler decided to release
some pent-up energy and ran amok.
I was finally able to grab hold of
her after receiving looks of disgust
and annoyance from other patrons.
I told her that if she did not start behaving
'right now' she would be punished.
To my horror, she looked me in the eye and
said in a voice just as threatening,
'If you don't let me go right now,
I will tell Grandma that I saw you
kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!'
The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange.
Even the tellers stopped what they were doing.
I mustered up the last of my dignity and
walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow.
The last thing I heard as the door closed behind me,were screams of laughter.

Hello Kisses

One evening, a wife drew her husband's attention to the couple next door and said, "Do you see that couple and how devoted they are? He kisses her every time they meet. Why don't you do that?"

"I don't know her well enough."

Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: 'Free
to good home. You want it, you take it.' For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided
that people were too un-trusting of this deal. It looked to good to be true, so he changed the sign to read: 'Fridge for sale $50.' The next
day someone stole it.


One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when someone shouted, 'Look at that dead bird!' Someone looked up at the sky and
said, 'where'

While working at a pizza parlour I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like
it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. 'Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough
to eat 6 pieces.

A man walked into a cafe, went to the bar and ordered a beer.
"Certainly, Sir, that'll be one cent."
"One Cent?" the man thought.
He glanced at the menu and asked, "How much for a nice juicy steak and a bottle of wine?"
"A nickel," the barman replied.
"A nickel?" exclaimed the man. "Where's the guy who owns this place?"
The bartender replied, "Upstairs, with my wife."
The man asked, "What's he doing upstairs with your wife?"
The bartender replied,
"The same thing I'm doing to his business down here."

A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about
having a son.
They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted.
The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy.
The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son.
He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen.
He told his wife, "There's no way I can be the father of this baby. Look
at the two beautiful daughters I fathered! Have you been fooling around
behind my back?"
The wife smiled sweetly and replied, "! Not this time!"

Have you ever asked your child a question too many times?
My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training
and I was on him constantly
One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch
in between errands.
It was very busy, with a full dining room.
While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny,
so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter,
and she was clean.
Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while.
I asked him if he needed to go, and he said 'No'.
I kept thinking 'Oh Lord, that child has had an accident,
and I don't have any clean clothes with me.'
Then I said, 'Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?'
'No,' he replied.
I just KNEW that he must have had an accident,
be cause the smell was getting worse.
So, I asked one more time,
'Danny, did you have an accident?'
This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants,
bent over, spread his cheeks and yelled
'SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS,
While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing,
he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down.
An older couple made me feel better,
thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!

Little Johnny's at it again,

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, 'Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!' After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, 'Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?' 'No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!'



Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. 'Yes,' said the policeman. 'The detectives want very badly to capture him.' Little Johnny asked, 'Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture ?'

Spend time with your friends and loved ones. Many marriages fail for just this reason. People are often too busy to spend enough time with each other and one or both of the partners can't take the neglect.

Genuinely appreciate the special people in your life. Tell them how much they mean to you. Mention their good qualities and how special they are.

Learn to say, "I was wrong. Please forgive me."
This will do wonders for your relationships. Humility is a beautiful quality in any person. Someone who thinks he or she is always right can be impossible to live with.

Be quick to forgive and don't hold grudges. Bury the past. Bitterness never helped anyone. It only hurts the bitter person. Don't let the agressive weeds of unforgiveness spoil your garden.

Learn to say "thank you" a lot. Everyone loves to be appreciated for what he or she has done instead of being taken for granted.

Listen more than you talk. If you are always talking and other people don't have a chance to get a word in edgewise, you won't be very popular for long.

Go out of your way to help others in practical ways. If a friend is in the hospital, go visit him. If a neighbor is going through a difficult financial time, bring groceries over to help tide him or her through the crisis.

Courtesy - Nubian Emi

Management Course

Lesson One:

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'

The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.' So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested.

All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Management Lesson:

To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

____________________________________

Lesson Two:

A turkey was chatting with a bull. 'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree,' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'

'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. ' They're packed with nutrients.'

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.

Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Management Lesson:

Bull shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

_____________________________________

Lesson Three:

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.

While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He laid there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.

A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.

Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Management Lesson:

(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.

(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend,

(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!


This ends the three minute management course.

I was walking past the mental hospital that is in Kansas City other day, and all the patients were shouting , `13 ::::: 13 :::::: 13` The fence was too high to see over ,I saw a little gap in the planks and looked through to see what was going on. Some bastard poke me in the eye with a stick ! ! ! Then they all started shouting `14:::14 :::14`,

A Trinidadian and his wife were travelling by car from Key
>West to Boston.
> After almost twenty-four hours on the road, they're too tired
>to continue, and decide to stop for a rest.
> They stop at a nice hotel, take a room to sleep for four hours
>and then get back on the road.
> When they check-out four hours later, the desk clerk hands
>them a bill for $350.00
> The Trini explodes and demands to know why the charge is so
>high.
> He tells the clerk although it's a nice hotel; the rooms
>certainly aren't worth $350.
> When the clerk tells him $350 is the standard rate, the Trini
>insists on speaking to the Manager.
> The Manager appears, listens, and explains that the hotel has
>an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference centre that were
>available
> for the Trini and wife to use.
> "But we didn't use them", the Trini complains.
> "Well, they are here, and you could have," explains the
>Manager.
> The Manager goes on to explain they could have taken in one of
>the shows for which the hotel is famous.
> The best entertainers from New York, Hollywood and Las Vegas
>perform here," the Manager says.
> "But we didn't go to any of those shows," complains the Trini
>again.
> "Well, we have them, and you could have", the Manager replies.
> No matter what facility the Manager mentions, the Trini
>replies, "But we didn't use it!"
> The Manager is unmoved, and eventually the Trini gives up and
>agrees to pay.
> He writes a cheque and gives it to the Manager. The Manager is
>surprised when he looks at the cheque.
> "But sir," he says, "this is only made out for $50."
> "That's right," says the Trini. "I charged you $300.00 for
>sleeping with my wife."
> "But I didn't!" exclaims the Manager.
> "Well," the Trini replies, "she was here, and you could
>have, "