₦airaland Forum

- Nairaland

Make Her Leave

Awhile back, our dog suddenly began barking almost every night around 3 a.m.

Irritated and sleepy, my husband, Larry, searched the back yard for what might have disturbed this otherwise peaceful animal.

For three days, he found nothing amiss. When the dog woke up the neighborhood a fourth night at 3 a.m. with frantic barking, Larry finally snuck around the house through the alley, only to discover our quiet neighbor, the last man you'd suspect of wrongdoing, throwing pebbles over the fence at our dog.

My husband demanded to know what he was doing.

"My mother-in-law is visiting," the embarrassed neighbor explained. "If she gets woken up in the middle of the night one more time, she says she'll leave!"

How Generous of You

"Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully," the divorce court judge said. "And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week."

"That's very generous, your honor," the husband said. "And every now and then, I'll try to send her a few bucks myself.

The Hot Dog Business

Don goes into business for himself. He buys a hotdog cart and sets it up in a prime spot on a busy downtown corner, right near a large bank.

One day, his friend Jim approaches him and asks Don if he can lend him some money.

Don refuses.

"But why?" asks Jim. "Everyone knows you're doing well and I'm not asking for much."

"Well, Jim, in order to get this spot, I had to sign a Non-competition Agreement with that bank over there. According to the terms of the agreement, they don't sell hot dogs and I don't lend money."

Present sir

fake davidylan?
@mrpataki
Indeed.

Now I'm confused - at davidylan that is.
Here, ur style is evident. Even the number of posts is in the thousands that I know & ur signature is classic davidylan. In another thread- on the Siemen's scandal - ur post is out of character.
Could you, dear David, maintain the real style some of us have gotten used to & fond of. No offence mean't, but the other writing styles are rather appalling or is there something I'm missing?
cheers

:d ;d

lol

lol

lol

Dear myomy,
I have carefully gone thru the thread. I am married and enjoying the same. I'm also a Xtian.
While I do agree in the main with edatika's post, I also undertand ur peculiar situation which is not new.
Do pls give me a call on 0804 419 2550
Remain blessed

After a heavy rainstorm filled all the potholes in the streets & alleys, a young mother watched her 2 little boys playing in the puddles from her kitchen window. The older of the 2, a five year old lad, grabbed his sibling by the back of his head & shoved his face into one of the waterholes. As the boy recovered & stood laughing & dripping, the mother ran towards them in a panic.
Why on earth did you do that to ur little brother? she said, as she took the older boy's shoulder in anger, combined with relief.
We were just playing church, mommy, he said. And I was just baptising him you know, "In the name of the father, the son, and in the hole he goes"

After a heavy rainstorm filled all the potholes in the streets & alleys, a young mother watched her 2 little boys playing in the puddles thru her kitchen window. The older of the 2, a five year old lad, grabbed his sibling by the back of his head and shoved his face into one of the waterholes. As the boy recovered & stood laughing & dripping, the mother ran towards them in a panic.
Why on earth did you do that to ur little brother? she said, as she took the older boy's shoulder in anger, combined with relief.
We were just playing church mommy, he said. And I was just baptising him you know, "In the name of the father, the son, and in the hole he goes"

@Olowotee
well said.

Dear naijagurly,
Confucius once said:
EVERYTHING HAS BEAUTY, BUT NOT EVERYONE SEES IT.
Do have a nice week ahead

At my granddaughter's wedding, the MC polled the guests to see who had been married the longest. It turned out to be my husband & I. The MC asked us 'what advice would you give to the newly married?'
I said " the 3 most important words in a marriage are: "you're probably right"- if the couple want peace.
Everyone then looked at my husband. He said: yeah, she's probably right.

At the zoo, a male turtle was on top of a female, behaving very affectionately.
My daughter, transfixed, asked, 'Mommy'?
Oh-oh, I thought. Here comes the question.
'Yes?' I said.
'Why doesnt he just go around?'

Dad! It was Wale, my 4 year old, calling from the bathroom. 'My toothbrush fell into the toilet!'
Lets get you another one, I said, throwing it away. 'That's full of germs now.'
The next thing I knew, he was handing me my toothbrush.
'Then we better throw this one away too. I dropped it in the toilet last week.'

How many brothers did Goliath have? Give their names and ref pls

How many brothers did Goliath have? Name them - give references pls

name-calling nairalanders

We tend to get pretty angry these days in Nairaland. Perhaps it would help if we mentioned those little things, for the folks to note and avoid (hopefully).
In not more than 3 words only pls.

Forgiven, brother mine

@poster
if ur boyfriend was a russian, what would you do? That do.

The good lady took up the challenge of brushing up her hubby's language deficiency, etiquette, etc with his enthusiastic cooperation. Five years on, the couple are living good to the admiration of earlier detractors. The man's transformation to a well informed, softspoken gent is a wonder to behold - same cannot be said of many educationally/socially compatible couples.
The success of a union depends largely on the couple, dear Funke,
cheers

Dear Funke, yes such marriages can work just as good as others. Educational incompatibility does not necessarily mean a marriage will fail. The couple will, as in every other marriage, need to work at making a success of the same thru patience, undertanding, support & love.
I know a well educated &quite comfortable young lady who married an illiterate 40something yr old driver. Despite initial opposition by pple, they stood by each other