₦airaland Forum

Outer Space

Out in space somewhere near Earth, two space aliens are talking.

One says, "The dominant life forms on this Earth planet have developed satellite based weapons."

"Are they an emerging intelligence?"

"I don't think so. They have them aimed at themselves."

The Followers

Timmy was a five-year-old boy. When he started Kindergarten, his mother was concerned about him walking to school alone. She started walking him to school, but one day, Timmy said, "None of the big boys have their mom walking them to school. I want to be like them."

His mother was prepared with a plan. She asked a neighbor, Mrs. Goodnest, to follow her son surreptitiously to school, at a distance where he would not likely notice, but close enough to keep a watch on him.

Mrs. Goodnest said, "Sure! I'm up early with my toddler Marcy and it'll be a good way for us to get some exercise."

The next school day, the neighbor and her daughter set out behind Timmy as he walked to school with another boy. She did this for the whole week. As the boys walked and chatted, kicking stones and twigs, Timmy's friend noticed the lady following them. Finally, he asked Timmy, "Have you noticed that lady following us? Do you know her?"

Timmy nonchalantly replied, "Yeah, I know who she is."

"Well, who is she?"

"Shirley Goodnest."

"Who the heck is she and why is she following us?"

"Well, my mom worries about me a lot and every night, she makes me say the 23 Psalm. And the Psalm says, 'Shirley Goodnest and Marcy shall follow me all the days of my life,' so I guess I'll just have to get used to it."

Whistle at Them

Murphy and his wife went for a stroll in the park. They sat down on a bench to rest for awhile.

Soon after, they overhear voices coming from a secluded spot nearby. Suddenly, Mrs. Murphy realizes that a young man is about to propose. Not wanting to be eavesdropping during such an intimate moment, she gently nudges her husband and whispers, "Whistle to let that young couple know that someone can hear them."

To which Murphy replies, "Whistle? Why should I whistle? Nobody whistled to warn me!"

what if the stark illiterate also falls in love with the Ph.d holder?

Apparently you guys have forgotten that this is the Political 'arena' and stuff like this dont belong here.
cheers

Forgive me dios, just noticed that you are a pan-africanist. Good for you dios, I bet ur lady must sure be glad to have a very virile mate.
I suppose you wouldnt like goathead peppersoup by any chance? Ewu ra.

Dear dios, am I mistaken that you are a true born catholic?
Goathead symbol? symbol of a god of virility?(and that is not satanic?)
dios, dios, dios

Very refreshing posts dear pilgrim1,
c-gift and nwando.
Couldnt agree with davidylan more - you guys are doing a great job.
@ Olabowale
welcome back from ur sabbathical sir

Is that not the same guy that lied that he was seeking assylum or refugee status because of a supposed religious persecution in his home state somewhere in western Nigeria?

Begging has become an art for the truly creative.
These gentlemen and lady preachers asking/receiving offerings after 'preachng' have simply taken begging to another level.
Sadly people are accepting this as normal - someone offered me money during a neighbourhood house to house evangelism not too long ago, and was offended when I refused his offer.
However, because accidents occur daily is no reason 4 us to confine ourselves at home.

epilogue:
And so Stanlord meets tinulol on nairaland and both get to know each other - leaving their past (and numerous counsellors) behind.
Curtains.

epilogue:
And so Stanlord meets tinulol on nairaland and both get to know each other - leaving their past (and numerous counsellors) behind.
Curtains.

Nairaland

By the way Leilah, a practising muslim wouldnt be bothered abt an Ngozi somewhere - since the good folks have been conditioned to accept additional wives (which ur husband apparently hasn't got the stomach for) as normal. What then is ur beef?
Let's quit all these jabber and dumb down to the real thing good lady. You hold the key to your marital happiness. 'nuff said

Dear Leilah, may I request that you diligently go through all your posts again & you'll see the problem - YOU!
You've skillfully presented a good man & husband as maniac, while an insecure, albeit nice lady as a hapless victim. You'd make a good scriptwriter but in a marriage, it's different.
Change ur attitude girl, & u'll enjoy ur marriage.
How abt the man's violent tendencies? Only read one side of the story folks,

@Oladeegbu
I like ur analyses, but dont totally agree with ur conclusions.
1chron 5:1 says it all.
Therefore the answers are:
Reuben and Joseph (ie his 2 sons)
Do have a blessed day.

jayon u r right- temi didnt get it correct.
Thought you were going to post the answer. Where are the bible scholars in the house?

Davidylan said something earlier that is worth mulling over:
muslims in the south don't go about this evil with their xtian friends/brothers; what do the northern muslims have against the xtians? All this talk that the perpetrators are not muslims aches.
@denex, you cleverly dodged the issue, unlike you - are you a muslim?
mukina's silence is understandable, she is a Gambian & these things don't happen in Gambia, no?
Perhaps davidylan

The senior lost his birthright to the junior because he fell to the temptation to commit sexual immorality
Who was he? And who got his birthright?

The senior lost his birthright to the junior because he fell to the temptation to commit sexual immorality

Chief Akinloye will be remembered by what he had done.
@denex, you are joking about the tea issue, yes?

Chief Akinloye will be remembered by what he had done.
@denex, you are joking about the tea issue, yes?

Chief Akinloye has gone the way of all humans - only to be remembered by what he has done.
@denex, you are joking about the tea issue, yes?

@babs, you no serious o. There's no struggling for mukibaby. I dont see anything wrong in praying 5 times daily also. My own is ordinary visit for Gambia.
Pls osisi, let muki be o; why are you finding her trouble?
@all
cheers and do have a nice weekend. I love you all

conies - Pro 30:26

Many thanks magneto for the link - very illuminating. I have bookmarked the same.
As an aside, pray why do we viciously attack one another when we disagree on various issues on Nairaland? Not in our nature of yore, going by what I've just read & my experiences. Sure wish we can hold on to the values of old on respect, decorum, mannerism, etc
God bless

Lol babyosisi
good to know you are the one - sure missed the old threads. Boring these days.
Thanks for reminding me abt muki's arrow shooting folks - but I bet she'll stand up for me.
Do have a great weekend & worry less on bynum pls. Cheers

I pray none of us will be around at the tribulation in order to find out the identities of the 2 witnesses.
Pls let the quiz continue. God bless you all

Interesting posts - but @ Oladeegbu, let me quickly comment on ur answers to mine
Q1 you are correct
Q2 I had Simon the canaannite aka Simon the zealot in mind - matt 10:4
Q3 Had Paul in mind. Acts 9:1-9. Matthias was chosen by lots cast while PAUL WAS DIRECTLY CALLED BY JESUS JUST AS THE INITIAL 12 APOSTLES
Now back to the quiz. Though a lot of commentators say Enoch & Elijah are the 2 witnesses,the bible doesnt mention their names.

Dear ricadelide,
I've noted your points. I may not agree with some of them, but then, that doesnt make you less my brother. Cheers.
@atutupoyo
There is some thing called mixed multitude in the bible. Be cool

Glad to see you back davidylan; here's hoping Seun will let you alone. I just couldnt connect to pth. Dont know if +osisi is same as babyosisi.
I sure miss ur incisive (albeit sometimes caustic) viewpoints - quite enlightening.
Babs747, why do you keep invisible these days? Not Seun I'm sure.
Mukina2 - do hope I can chk on you when I go to Gambia one of these days.
Cheers all

Dear blue sky, after reading ur post, I couldnt help but think of ladies who see nothing wrong in bikinis & skimpies in a public beach or pool - but then wouldnt wear the same to the office, market, malls, etc
Scriptures encourage decency & frown against worldliness. I've seen professing Xtians who use the items & those who dont in many countries. Wot are ur convictions based on ur understanding of the bible? U judge urself.