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Work on yourself, find out what makes you happy, and then you can decide if you want to put up with someone else who is dedicated to making your life a living hell.

Work on yourself, find out what makes you happy, and then you can decide if you want to put up with a gender who is dedicated to making your life a living hell.

ashleyscholar:
Are you looking for a girlfriend or do you want to know how to get a girlfriend? To get a girlfriend, it all comes down to your attractiveness and qualities as a potential boyfriend. It maybe impossible to turn yourself into a perfect boyfriend, but it is possible to come close to an ideal boyfriend most women are looking for. Here are some tips to help you become a potential boyfriend and have a better chance of succeeding in the dating arena.

Be trustworthy. Your future girlfriend will entrust you her physical and emotional being and if you are not trustworthy enough to take care of her emotionally and physically, you shouldn't be dreaming of being her boyfriend. To be trusted, you have to be loyal and capable of sticking to one girl, meaning fidelity is a must if you want to be trusted. Showing qualities that you are a one woman man can help you become a potential boyfriend most women are looking for.

Know what you want and go for it. A man who can't make decisions because he does not know what he wants is a big turn off. Indecisiveness is not a good trait for a boyfriend. Knowing what you want and taking actions are very attractive traits. For instance, if you really want a relationship, you put yourself out there and let her know that you are interested not just as a friend but as a boyfriend. Of course there is a chance you'll get rejected but a man who knows what he wants is not afraid to take risks just because he's afraid of losing. Not taking a step forward or taking a risk on something you want will not get you anywhere. You will remain unnoticed unless you take a step forward and do something. To be a potential boyfriend you must know what you want and you must do something about it.

You are not insecure and you know your worth. Not knowing your worth or not putting importance to yourself could make it hard for you to find a girlfriend. No one wants to have an insecure boyfriend. You have to love yourself first to be able to love others. A man who knows his worth is more confident and this is an admirable trait especially to the opposite sex. Most women are drawn to confident and secured men.

Be compassionate and caring. A compassionate and caring person is not selfish. He has a heart that cares for others. Women are naturally caring and compassionate and they have a soft spot for men who are kindhearted and concerned to the welfare of not only his family and friends but also the well-being of other people. To become a potential boyfriend, you have to be caring and compassionate.

Be honest. No one wants a relationship based on lies so to become a potential boyfriend, you have to be honest from the start. Do not pretend to be someone you are not just to impress her. Be yourself and be honest from the start and that is a good trait women are looking for.

Be chivalrous. In this modern generation, most men behave too modern that they often lack the "gentleman" qualities that men should normally have. Being a boyfriend even in this new generation requires you to act as a gentleman so being more chivalrous can help you secure a spot to become a potential boyfriend. No matter what generation it is, being chivalrous melts women's heart. Simple chivalrous acts like opening the door for her, pulling a chair, protecting her while walking on the streets, pick her up or walk her home, putting gloves on her hands or jacket on her shoulder when she's cold, etc. goes a long way. Women can be independent but that doesn't mean they do not want to be treated like ladies. Those little courtly acts can make a woman feel she's special and can make her want you as a boyfriend.

Be generous. Being generous is not only about giving lavish gifts. If you can afford it, then by all means shower her with gifts but generosity also means giving your time, love and affection abundantly. Showing your love may include spending on gifts or dates but it doesn't mean you have to spend more than you can afford to show your generosity. It is good that a woman is aware that you are willing to spend on her but always remember that it's the thoughts that counts.

You are open to compromise. A relationship won't work if you don't know how to find the middle ground and compromise. Showing that you are not close-minded and that you are open to compromise on issues or things that you both cannot see each other eye-to-eye, makes you a potential boyfriend.

You are willing to open up. Most men are aloof and most women find it appealing at first but if you keep putting up walls that seems hard to break, it could push women away. It may be true that men want their own space but there are times that men should also open up. People including women will open up more to you if you are willing to open up too. To become a potential boyfriend, be more open and let her in.

You should be reliable. A woman should feel secure when you are around because you are a reliable man. You are consistent and always do what you said you'll do. If you said you'll show up on a specific time then show up on time. Reliability is one of the traits most women are looking for a potential boyfriend.

You are serious and not just playing games. Most women are looking for a boyfriend who do not want to play games so they are looking for someone for keeps. If you just want women for fun, do not look for a girlfriend or a relationship. Most women looking for a boyfriend want a real relationship and if you are serious, then you can be a potential boyfriend.

You are someone who takes your future seriously. Most women do not want an easy go lucky guy but they aspire for a boyfriend who takes his future seriously. To become a potential boyfriend you must have future goals, have a career and financially secured. You can support yourself and of course your future partner. If you are looking for a girlfriend, of course you have the time to invest in the relationship despite your focus on your career or else your girlfriend will suffer if you end up putting her last on your list.

Don't expect physical intimacy too soon. To become a potential boyfriend, you must be patient. Do not expect to get laid on the first or second date but wait until she's ready or until the time is right. A man who is prepared for a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship patiently waits and respects a woman's reserved nature. By patiently waiting, it proves that sex is not your primary intention but you actually want a relationship and willing to wait until she's ready.

Be a good listener. Listen closely when she's talking and let her know that you are really listening. Remember even the small details about her. Most men often think that women are big talkers and they do not think that it's worth listening to everything they say. Let her know that you are different and that you know how to listen. Making eye contact while listening to her can help you make emotional connections with her. Most women want to be heard and they want a boyfriend who knows how to listen.

Show interest on her passion. Like most men, women also want their man to show interest on what they do. A man who truly wants a relationship with a woman is also interested on everything about her including her job, hobbies and her passion. Showing support and interest on things important to her can help you become a potential boyfriend.

Become friends with her family and friends. Most women consider the opinion of their families and close friends regarding relationships. It is best to become friends with people close to her to have a solid back up and to prove that you are serious and sincere with your intentions. Taking into consideration the important roles of her family and friends on her relationships can help you become a potential boyfriend.

Always be positive. Many men encountered rejections after rejections before finding the one destined for them. Do not be too hard on yourself. Think that another rejection makes you one step closer to finding the one right for you. Enjoy the experience of dating and you will eventually find the one for you.

Work on yourself, find out what makes you happy, and then you can decide if you want to put up with someone else who is dedicated to making your life a living hell.

dyingheart:
we dated for five months. i showed him so much love and care. all he did was complain it wasn't enough, he wanted to date someone else. we're not talking anymore. i miss him like mad. i can't sleep, i can't eat, i can't do anything. it's like my heart has been broken into a thousand pieces. i can't breathe anymore. someone talk to me


****abeg, the man in question is not a Nairalander. cheating was from his part. i was very faithful to him.

Hmmm �

Work on yourself, find out what makes you happy, and then you can decide if you want to put up with someone else who is dedicated to making your life a living hell.

treasurenat:
Something happened in the house am staying today.
It is my turn to sweep the floor.My neighbours asked me to pay 1000naira for those that would help me sweep it.i didn't agree. I brought out broom and started sweeping it by myself.One lady started looking at me with bad eyes,as I was sweeping it .And I talked to her that why she is looking at me that way.I told her that,that is the level of how you women have spoilt life.A job that meant for a man you wouldn't do it , you will say is for man.Now this sweeping of floor is woman work.you are still expecting me to sweep it or pay money.
They started shouting that I should go and marry .that they gave me one woman to marry but I rejected it.I told them that they gave me someone who is ugly and old,that they too have fine daughters that they should give me one of them now if they are tired of me staying single.They said that they can't give me because I don't have money and good job,that they can't allow their daughter to suffer.
I now told them that I am also planning for my life nobody should pressurised me to go and marry by force.
They said I am complaining about that lady the lady is ugly and old but she has job now.that I should marry her because she has job ,she would be helping me.i now ask them in what ratio.is it 50:50 or what,that they should leave me and stop disturbing my life.I have faced many challenges about being single self apart from this one.if person want to rent house they would say that the person MUST have wife.I knew many people who had married quickly because of sex,connection e t c.but some of them it was their parents that did wedding for them and even feeding them.but i dont have parents,I struggle to graduate from university,but because there is no job .i am doing teaching job in private school.Again in this generation i noticed that most ladies dont accept struggle guy for marriage unless they(ladies) are overaged or almost reach meanopause.

Work on yourself, find out what makes you happy, and then you can decide if you want to put up with someone else who is dedicated to making your life a living hell.

AmericanDad:
My lover got pregnant and I told her to keep the baby that I will see her parents to do the needful. We were not really dating. We were just office sweet hearts turned relationship. We both earn good and live well.

Right now i feel like it's because she got pregnant that's why i want to marry her because truly if not for the baby we are expecting I wouldn't have even thought of proposing. Now I'm having a second thought cos I feel like I'm being pressurized to marry her.... The truth is that I dont really love her to the extent of marrying her...

Iv seen her parents and given them a drink that I will come with my parents mayb January or Febuary for introduction( they dont know she's pregnant) I have actually bought the proposal ring but my mind is still not convinced. Iv taken her to meet my parents and family they said shes ok but also complained of her height that shes too short/small

Note: She is a nice girl and homely but she is really small in stature and it's really giving me concern..That not who I see as an ideal wife I need someone that I would be proud of and not be uncomfortable to introduce as my wife.

I spoke to her last night that we need to slow down on wedding plans that I'm not really ready for the marriage. Now shes been crying and crying and refusing to eat. I really dont want to marry because of pity..I just want her to keep the baby then I take care of them both till I'm convinced.

Note: I have been married before and it ended after 1year of problems and wahala. My Ex wife couldn't conceive and she even blamed me and told her family that I'm impotent .now I'm really scared of marriage cos I really saw hell in my previous. My babe is now threatening that she may remove the baby cos she cant stand the shame of carrying the pregnancy. She is about almost 3months pregnant. She is 28 and I'm 33. Thanks

Sorry for the typo guys...pls matured advice pls.

Cc: lalasticlala

AmazonTopaz:
"WOMEN are INCAPABLE of Love"
Yet we see them stay with trashy men because of the love they have for them and their kids just to ensure the marriage works and the home isn't broken even though the mumu husband is willing to frustrate their effort tell me who is selfish here.

Bros,comot from road abeg stop to dey shalaye

WOMEN are INCAPABLE of Love.
They are intrinsically selfish.
Marry them at your peril.

WOMEN are INCAPABLE of Love.
They are intrinsically selfish.
Marry them at your peril.

WOMEN are INCAPABLE of Love.
They are intrinsically selfish.
Marry them at your peril.

Datboredberry:
Do you love the person you're dating?

My answer is yes... I'm madly in love with him...

You??Do you love the person you're dating?

My answer is yes... I'm madly in love with him...

You??

WOMEN are INCAPABLE of Love.
They are intrinsically selfish.
Marry them at your peril.

WOMEN are INCAPABLE of Love.
They are intrinsically selfish.
Marry them at your peril.

WOMEN are INCAPABLE of Love.
They are intrinsically selfish.
Marry them at your peril.

WOMEN are INCAPABLE of Love.
They are intrinsically selfish.
Marry them at your peril.

WOMEN are INCAPABLE of Love.
They are intrinsically selfish.
Marry them at your peril.

WOMEN are INCAPABLE of Love.
They are intrinsically selfish.
Marry them at your peril.

WOMEN are INCAPABLE of Love.
They are intrinsically selfish.
Marry them at your peril.

WOMEN are INCAPABLE of Love.
They are intrinsically selfish.
Marry them at your peril.

WOMEN are INCAPABLE of Love.
They are intrinsically selfish.
Marry them at your peril.

WOMEN are INCAPABLE of Love.
They are intrinsically selfish.
Marry them at your peril.

WOMEN are INCAPABLE of Love.
They are intrinsically selfish.
Marry them at your peril.

ukaface:
So you would end up marrying one out of the women who are incapable of love, intrinsically selfish and at your own peril?

Nice question.
I'm in my 30s and single.

And i honestly do not find any excitement in having a partner.

I'm at peace, content and happy.

Can life be more fun?

Deborah98:
Someone said is your choice of a woman that affects your perception about them and I can't agree less. You don't expect to be with someone who has nothing to offer except sex to give you a wider view on women. Look beyond the sex and see other stuffs women are made off. You guys should stop using sex as a yardstick to determine how a woman performs in and around her marriage,stop it please. If you've been meeting women who only offer sex then the fault is yours, you've allowed your limitations to take a better part of your life. Grow up and grow in wisdom.

Lovely insight. I'm impressed. However, you missed this from my piece:
"... and all the relationships I’ve observed from the outside..."

qtguru:
Everything written in bold is a major red flag avoided, I've met women like these and blocked the next day, Bro I got no chill, if you endured all these maybe you need self-confidence. No confident African men will put up with these.

You kidding me, Naija men no get chill o, be like say Gen Z people no sabi way or something

Excellently intense. Great insight.
Cheers.

jmoore:
Just say Amen to the prayer. You can't follow your own advice, that's why you refused to say Amen.

Marriage is a choice. You are free to remain single but advising other men not to marry is ridiculous.

You talk about reason and intellect. So your personal opinion/experience is what every man has experienced? Myopic indeed!

.

Hmmm.
Can you try to be sensible?

qtguru:
I've been around the block, I don't put up with unrealistic women, maybe you should too. Every woman I have dated has to bring something to the table be it spirtual, support and mutual counselling. You can't date a liability and expect to see something positive. if not I will walk away, No guy has time to put up with that bro.

Here comes a sage. Excellent. Profound

Candidlady:
it is quite unfortunate! This section is dead! You keep reading thesame thing all the time!

recycled bs! Na insecurity go kill this gender

Hmm. Really can't respond to this for I prefer intellectual, factual and honest conflict

jmoore:
If you marry, may your penis disappear.

Say Amen.

Lol. This is really funny and laughable.

What's your point?

Is marriage the sole essence of your existence.

Common dude.
Put on ur thinking cap and communicate from Reason and intellect.

fati2001:
EVERY BLESSED DAY SAME TOPIC

MOVE ON NONE OF MY BUSINESS

Thanks dude

Nyascobar1414:
thats why I say a man should be vwry glad if only he can control is sexual urge... I mean most problem in your life will be averted

So true. And I am really at that point of gaining mastery ova my urges.
But I must say, such mastery and competence, for me, comes with lots of sexcapades.

You give in to attain freedom.

ukaface:
so I'm guessing, you would marry a man?

Marry a man? Definitely not.