₦airaland Forum

Olumi4eva: sumbody pls help me ooo,if i still wan dey follow dis story and e no dey front page again wetin i go do,cause pesin no suppose miss dis story ooooo,HELP ME OOOOOO,FLOW WHERE U DEY OOO

just go to literature/writing section and u will see the story there.

It was time for Chioma to go and i was still looking for my wrist watch and necklace. I went to the rooms of all my guys to ask if they came to my room to take my wrist watch and necklace. None of them did.


"but how dis girl go be thief? and she know book well well dat time wey we dey school oh, how she go fine like dis com be theif?" i asked myself. She noticed i wore a gloomy face and asked, "i hope u are not suspecting i took ur wrist watch and necklace ehnnn?", "common!! How would i suspect u? like u said maybe its one of my neighbours, i would ask them later" i said, "Ónyé Óshi!! Na u thief am jor" i almost told her.

When she was in the bathroom taking her bath, i hurriedly searched her bag, but i couldn't find the wrist watch and the necklace. "who com take this thing na?" i pondered.

As she was about taking the final step out of my room, "abeg na, if na u take am give me na, abeg" i almost said. I felt like crying because the two items were expensive.

She instantly turned and asked, "will u not give me money for transport?", "u dey mad there!! i dey talk say my things don lost, u dey talk say make i give u transport money, i resemble ur papa?" i almost said, "why won't i, i will of course" i responded. I quickly raised up my Tv, expecting to find money, but i didn't find any. Flow bank had been robbed.

"Flow, lemme go ease myself in ur toilet" Chioma said as we came out of my room. "Ole!!! u tink say i no get sense, u don hide my wrist watch and necklace for toilet" i tot. "i think someone just entered the toilet" i said a necessary lie. "ok i would wait for the person" she said. I was definately not ready to loss the battle to get back my wrist watch and necklace, so i said, "see Chioma it would soon start raining, its better u start going so it wouldn't rain on u" i said grabbing her hands and heading towards the gate. With the look on her face, i was 100% sure the stolen items was in the toilet.

"u see Chioma, i don't have any money to give u for transport fare, we haven't been paid Alawi and i am very broke" i said another necessary lie. "shebi u don thief 3k from under my Tv, use am as transport na" i almost cried out. "no problem, i will manage" she responded. My happiness was that i emptied almost all the money in the Flow bank into my wallet the previous day, leaving only the 3k she took. She couldn't get my wallet, i never could tell why. There was 10k in my wallet and it was still there, i had confirmed.

"bye bye!!" i said and waved at her as the bike she boarded moved.

I couldn't wait for the bike to go far, "my Rolex watch eeeh!! My necklace eeeh!!" i shouted heading straight to the toilet.

The next day was Saturday. I had already forgiven Ilorin because, though the Aboniki almost peeled off my skin, it worked. My balls were back to normal.

"Mr Ugochukwu, just sign dis documents, and we would hand u over the keys to your house" a chubby man said. I took a glimpse at the beautiful masterpeice and smiled. It was my picture perfect dream house. As i was about signing the documents,........................... The loud ringtone of my phone brought me back to reality. I was dreaming.

"oooooh God!! Which kin bad belle person dey call me na, na now wey i wan sign the document of my house nahim the person go call" i grumbled. I took my phone and saw that it was Chioma, the adorable Chioma.

"wetin dis one dey call me for sef, i don even forget weda she still dey alive" i tot. I answered the call. She wanted me to come pick her at Ilesa roundabout. She said she wanted to spend the weekend with me. She came to Ilesa without informing me before hand.

"see me see wahala oh, na today wey Juliet wan come nahim dis big head Chioma go dey come" i tot as i put on my cloth to go pick her. Just then, i glanced at my rolex wrist watch, it was past 10, i had over slept.

I welcomed her to my room and she told me i had a beautiful room. She was sure more beautiful than the last time we saw in camp. "i heard there is a tree in Ife, that is called beautiful tree, and ladies go there to pluck the fruits to eat and become more beautiful, when last did u eat from the tree? because u look angelic" i flattered. "hahahahahaha!! Ugo u are funny, abeg there is no such tree oh, and u look handsome too" she said.

She kept me indoors throughout telling me about her experience so far at the place she was serving. I didn't go out to play table tennis with my guys neither did i go out to smoke with Angom and Ilorin. Infact, i didn't step my foot outside for once, but i had to go outside when my phone rang.

It was Juliet, she told me why she didn't come as promised was because she had so many clothes to wash. "thank God say u no come sef" i tot as i walked back to my room. Not knowing that some things had developed wings and flew out of my room.

Chioma cooked, we ate, and watched movies, and when it was time for me to "enter the place", i was disappointed. She said she was on her p'eriod. "so u know say u dey ur period nahim u com come my house abi, na Television u wan come watch for my house? Abi u no get Television for your house? u dey mad oh" i tot as i lay on my bed feeling very disappointed.

Sunday came. "where my watch and necklace come dey na?" i said as i was seriously searching for my wrist watch and necklace, "maybe one of ur neighbour came to collect them yesterday without telling you" Chioma said. I went to church without a watch and a necklace leaving her at home.

I came back from church happy because of the wonderful service, not knowing that some more things had developed wings and flew out of my room.

Josphine4good: Flow do u want to kill me with laugh, please take it easy. I burnt the food I was preparing because of u

aaah!! Sorry oh!!, if to say u gree to marry me, na my food u for burn na, and i for no complain.

skoloppy31: Flow werin dey now..longest time..I jst dey background all dis while..I tried ALOMO wit 1759 xtady..BABA my hostel mate fink say I dn die..cos I slip troway for toilet for almost 6hrs..dem force da door open frm outside..dem see me wey I com hold ma phone..buh am far gone.....when my babe naggin,yellin,ranting too much..I made a promise not to drink again..I com dey fink am say NAH flow kobalise my life oooooooo....pls don't try this any intending comrade

skolopy my man, long time oh. U know dey see say dem dey advertise if u dey watch wrestling say, "don't try this at home". Me sef been wan u say make u no try am at home na?

My balls were seriously giving me disturbing pains, so i went to Ilorin to ask him if he had anything i could apply that would relieve the pains. If only i could tell the future, i wouldn't have gone to Ilorin's room that night.

"Ilorin u get anything wey i go fit rub for this my b'lockus wey go make am stop to dey pain me?" i asked as i entered Ilorin's room. "i get na, take dis tin" he said handing a stunt bottle container to me. "Rub dis tin for there, e go stop, nahim i rub wen i get boil for my n'yash, the boil com disappear one time" he added. "wetin be the name of dis tin na?" i asked. "the name na Aboniki, my uncle dey work for the company wey dey produce am, so anytime wey i go him house i dey collect plenty" Ilorin said. "how i go take use am na?" i inquired. "u go first baf, if u baf finish, u go com rub am, e go pepper u oh, but na only small e go pepper u" he responded. "i no want anything wey go pepper me oh" i said, "if e no pepper u that mean say e no work na? nahim make me say make u baf, if u baf com rub am, e no go pepper u pass 1minute, e go com stop and ur b'lockus sef go stop to pain u" he assured, not knowing he was f'ooling me. I was very happy i had gotten the final solution to the pains in my balls, not knowing i was holding a bottle that would bring me tears.

I took my bath, stared at the bottle and saw ABONIKI BALM written boldly on it. As i sat in my room alone, i had concluded that immediately after i had finished appling the "elixir" i would hit the bed and sleep, not knowing ABONIKI would murder my sleep that night.

I applied it on the affected area. I waited for 20seconds for the burning sensation Ilorin warned.

It started, it was increasing by every seconds count. "yeeeeh!!! I don die oh, dis thing dey pepper oh" i shouted.

The sensation increased, this time unbearable. "my b'lockus oh!! Ilorin don kill me oh!!" i shouted at the peak of my voice. I flung the Aboniki container on the floor and rushed out n*aked shouting, "Fire oh!!! Fire oh!!! Fire!!! Fire!!!".

"where fire!!! where the fire!!" Angom shouted running towards me. "fire eeeh!! My b'lockus dey burn for fire oh!!" i cried pointing to my d'ick. Angom laughed uncontrollably.

"bring water oooh!!" i shouted at Angom. He searched all the buckets in the compound, but non was containing water.

As i ran to the bathroom, i saw a dirty looking bucket containing something that looked like water. I hurriedly poured the "water" on my body......................... "Aaaaaah!!! S'hit water!!!" i cried out, as i remembered it was the same bucket Mama Alhaja always p'oo on because she couldn't bend down to use our pit toilet.

Soma Naeto: my friend flow 1759 is a great man when he was younger he love ife nsori, but nwanne ur blockos don suffer for real life :Dmy friend flow 1759 is a great man when he was younger he love ife nsori, but nwanne ur blockos don suffer for real life

naso oh, e suffer and e enjoy sef.

"Angom, make the post na, Ilorin don go collect ball come" i said to Angom as we were set to play football outside our compound one evening.

Ilorin came, not only with the ball but with some boys, his eyeh brothers. "Flow them dis guys say them go play with us oh" Ilorin said. "ok na, no wahala" i responded. Ilorin conversed with them in Yoruba for some minutes and said, "Angom dem say make we gamble with them oh, say dem no dey like play if money no dey involve oh" Ilorin shouted from a far distance. Angom tot of it for few seconds an said, "no wahala, ask dem say how much-how much we go set". Ilorin spoke again to them in Yoruba and said, "dem say if we get mind make we set 8k". If there is one thing in life i dreaded, its gamble.

So I, Angom, Ilorin and Sammy brought 2k each to make the 8k. I was sure we would win them because Ilorin was like Lionel Messi up front, Angom and Sammy was like Steven Gerald and Frank Lampard respectively, while i stood at the back like Nemandja Vidic. Kelvin was in reserve.

In Monkey post, no referee, no rules, you play anyhow with your target as the goal post. I was sure no goal would enter our net because i stood like a "mountain that can't be moved" behind.

They also had one of their player in reserve. Their man in reserve was drinking from a big bottle of dry gin "dis tin wey dis guy dey drink, him heart no dey burn" i tot, considering the fact that if i was the one drinking it, my heart would have totally burnt down, i would have been "heartless". Our man Kelvin in reserve was holding our phones. The money was kept on the floor, at a corner, under a stone.

The game started. I saw a fierce battle between Ilorin and one of their player, Ilorin collected the ball, passed back to me, "Ilorin no dey pass dis kin back pass oh, make own goal no go happen for here oh" i tot and i passed to Angom.

Five minutes and no goal, maybe it was because the two sides concentrated on their defence in other not to concieve a goal because whoever scores first carries the day.

Now, one of their player was heading towards me, he ran at a very high speed with a great zeal to dribble me and score. "dis one wan dribble me abi, him no fit pass me oh" i tot, not knowing he had a different plan. An evil plan.

He passed the ball to another player, and let out a kick to my d'ick.

I fell to the floor like an "Iloko tree" shouting, "i don die oh!!, my b'lockus don burst oh!! Make una help me oh!!". GOAL!! GOAL!! GOAL!!!, they had scored us. I tot i felt something watery rolling down my right l'ap, "abi my b'lockus don burst?" i asked myself as i continued shouting, "make una help me oh!!", my guys came to my rescue dragging me up. Angom said, "Flow ur b'lockus don burst oh, u no go fit give woman belle be that oh", "na ur papa b'lockus burst" i cursed and they all laughed.

Thank u all. More updates coming soon, pls updates will not be that regular. But one thing for sure, "tori still plenty"

kwangi: Calm down!
He's not saying anything we don't already know.
Trust me every frat man out there knows the basic slangs of other 'colored'...

no mind am, help me ask am weda if him graduate from sch and him com get work for oil company weda him go dey shout Aro Mate!! for inside him company. Na sack letter tins be dat oh!

fankasibe: bros. Abeg no vex o! But i'm very sorry to say dat 'u ar a big fool'
firstly, must u quote a whole story to prove ya point.
Secondly, don't remind Nigerians of their cultural differences.
Thirdly, i still love u as a brother.

I don tell am na, no mind am. Pls u guys should quit the tribal stuff, na wetin dey kill naija be dat.

"how the tin go na?" i asked Angom as we both sat under the tree in sch the next day, "omo! e make sense oh, u know how much Funke give me after the thing?" Angom said. "how much na?" i inquired, "oboy, na 40k oh" Angom said. "guy i happy for u oh!" i said, i actually envied him.


"Flow wen i dey nak Funke ehnnn, guy i fear wen she com silent oh, she silent for 1minute, fear catch me oh, i tink say she don die oh" Angom said. "hahahahahaha!!! take am easy with that old woman oh". I said, laughing at him.


"ehen, Flow u go follow me go buy something for market today oh" Angom said, "wetin u want make i follow u go buy?" i asked. "i wan buy home threatre na, so we go dey blast wella for my room" he added. "e go make sense oh, so wen we dey smoke igboh, we go dey blast tupac music, d music go make the igboh enter our brain wella, we go go buy am wen sch close" i said.

After sch, were took a bike to ilesa round about electronic market. I took Angom straight to the shop of Emeka; the ibo guy that i bought my Tv set from months back.

Emeka was a very handsome guy, infact all my life, i haven't seen a guy that is as fine as him. If i say he is more handsome than Ransom Noah, it is an understatement. As we bargained the price of the home threatre, i couldn't help but admire his fine face. He looked more like a g'ay.

He asked me why i haven't yet paid him a visit in his house. I told him i had been busy and i promised him i would come on Tuesday. Our conversation was strictly in Ibo language.


After the purchase was made, i asked Emeka for his address, he wrote it on a sh'it of paper and gave it to me telling me he would be expecting me on Tuesday evening. I was happy i had made a new friend, not knowing it would be a very wierd friendship.

star bwoi: Wettin come make Ʊ dey cast Viki....! Wida u

because me sef na sailor, no be today tin na

"meet my friend An........, Victor" i almost introduced Victor as Angom to Ireti, after he had warned me severely. "Victor, its a pleasure meeting u" Ireti said giving him a handshake. We were hanging out at Captain cook that evening.

Well, i would not say Angom is the kind of handsome guy every sugar mummy dreamt of, but, "him fine small sha", "dat kin Desmond Elliot type na", black hunk.

"let me call my friend Funke to come meet us here" Ireti said "okay" i responded. Althrough while we waited for Funke, Ireti was Admiring Angom, "Abi dis one don dey like Angom? If she like, make she like am na, Agom fit fine pass me small, but i sabi Bleep pass am sha" i tot.

"Here she comes!!!" Ireti said gesturing at the door. I was dissappointed at what i saw.

"na dat old woman?" i almost asked. I was praying in my mind that it shouldn't be the old woman, but a young lady walking behind her.

My prayer wasn't answered, it was her.

As Ireti was Introducing Angom to Funke, i almost laughed when i saw the look on Angom's face, it read: "Flow i go kill u for house today, see the kin old woman wey u go give me". One thing was sure, i never made the choice, Ireti did.

"nawa oh!!! Wetin dis kin old woman dey find for young blood sef? She no know say she don old, if my grandMama senior dis one, e go be small" i tot as i watched Angom and his "newly found love" walked hand in hand to where she parked her car outside.

I and Ireti soon joined them outside. I almost shouted in surprise when i saw the kind of car Funke came with; Hummer 2.

Funke told us they were both going straight to Blue angels Hotel. "omo eeeh!! My guy Angom don hamma oh, the woman old but she get money wella, see d kin car wey she dey drive, make Angom satisfy her for bed oh" i tot as they drove off.

I was sure Angom would satisfy her, because like he always said: "i dey score for their net like Drogba". I was sure he would score so many goals in Funke's net, but what i wasn't sure of was if those goals could fetch him money.

Sapphire86: CONGRATS flow!!!!

thanks. we all made it, so i would say congrats to u also.

pillzthadrugz: Omo "flow" or wat do u call urself if u know wats gud for u just show back dis minute and finish dis tin oooh........before nepa carry light!.... pillz have spoken

thanks for following, omo tori still plenty oh, no be wetin go finish now na

ikwere militant: ibos never hatd youba rather yoruba hated ibos simply becos of jelousy.a gud exanation is a savage yoruba proverb dat ws statd by a yoruba lady in ds forum dat of odas own no spoil your own no go gud. And dats exactly d praya of every yoruba to odas but unfortunatly ibos dy jump am pass dat explans d hatrd

thats not what this story is all about.

"stop there, where una dey go?" a vilante shouted switching on his torch light. We stoped abruptly.

I took a quick glance at my watch and saw that it was 10:30; the time the vilante members resumes duty.

Now the torch light was dirrected towards my eyes causing me a blurred vision. "ehnnnn we dey go our house" i cried.

"na una dey rob is area abi" a guy with broad chest; who was also a vigilante shouted. "rob ke!!! We no be thief oh" Ilorin said. "shut up!! Una be thief, we go show una pepper today" one of the vilante said bringing the matchete in his hands close to my chest.

"u!!! Who u be?" the one with the matchete asked bringing the matchete to touch my chest, as i could now feel the sharpness of the matchete. "i be corper, my name na Adewale Azeez" i cried out. There was a reason why i lied(u would get to know).

"Awón copa" the broad chested man said. At that moment Ilorin; as the only Yoruba boy amongst us came out and was pleading on our behalf in Yoruba language.

"Ok una go show us una ID card so we go know say una be corper" the one holding the matchete said. We all brought out our wallet in search of our corper's ID card. I was shocked when i couldn't find mine.

"where my ID card com dey na? Abi e don lost" i tot. I instantly remembered i had used my ID card to fill a form the principal gave us to fill in sch the previous Day, i never knew my NYSC number off hand so i confirmed from my ID card, i didn't remember to put it back to my wallet.

"ehen!! You, where your own ID card?" the vigilante guy queried after he had checked the ID cards of others. "ehnn, ebbbennnnn, ehnnnn" i was speaking what sounded like Swahili. "i say where ur ID card?" he shouted at me. "e don loss" i lied.

"e don loss abi? Wetin u say be ur name sef" the one with the matchete queried, still bringing the matchete to touch my chest. "my name na Ug......, Adewale Azeez" i cried out. I initially lied that my name was Adewale Azeez because Ayo; my friend in camp, once adviced me that if i found myself in danger in Yoruba land, i should just think of a Yoruba name and claim it as my name, that the name would save me alot of trouble, in this case the only name i could think of was Adewale Azeez.

"aah!! Omó Yoruba ní e" one of them said. I tot they would want me to converse with them in Yoruba, that would have been the beginning of my tears. They didn't. Instead, one of them said, "as u no get ID card, that mean say u no be corper, u be theif, lie down!!" he commanded. As i was about lying down, i saw from the corner of my eyes that Ilorin was walking up to them.

Ilorin pleaded with them on my behalf in Yoruba for 10minutes. They freed me. Ilorin saved me again, for the third time.

Dis one wey Aunty Cuddlemii say my story unique ehnnnnn!!!!

We tried reviving Sammy but to no avail, i tot he was dead.

Just then, i tot of giving him Mouth to mouth resuscitation, because same thing occured in the barracks some years back and the guy that passed out was brought back to life by mouth to mouth resuscitation. "even if we go use mouth bring sammy come back, no be me go use my mouth, Sammy wey him mouth dey smell like soak-away" i tot. "make una bring water oh" Angom ordered.

As i and the barman rushed to bring water i was recalling with nostalgia my first day of tasting weed. It was in the barracks, my friends told me after the incident that immediately i dragged in as i took my first kiss, i removed my cloth; wearing only boxers and telling them; "heat dey oh!!", when it wasn't sunny but cloudy (thats a story for another day). "igboh go tell u say sun na moon, and u go call sun, moon" i tot.

The water was splashed on Sammy and he was still lying like a log of wood, "abi him don die, God forbid!!, imagine say him die, police go just arrest us, news to just say: A CORPER DIED AFTER SMOKING M'ARIJU'ANA FOR THE FIRST TIME, him no fit die jor, i never see where igboh kill person before jor" i tot to myself. The water was splashed on him again and the was revived.

It was 10pm. We were happy our dead friend ressurected. We walked home happily; though Sammy was walking dizzily, we were still happy that at least our friend isn't dead, not knowing our Happiness would turn sadness in few seconds.

Emperortj93: Flow pls i can't fit shout oo, jst update sharpali cus ma babe, re sista and me (shairman) rili luv ur tori Btw u re d best nigeria comic writer ever **jst tinkin out loud**

hahahaha. Bros AMEN oh. What am i to say.

"make we go smoke for Legendary na" Ilorin suggested. "make we go na, anything wey una wan drink, i go pay, money dey" i assured.

We got to Legendary. We chatted as we drank, "u know say if igboh no dey, u fit use some other local things hi urself" Angom said, "things like wetin?" i asked. "guy if u soak cloth for fuel, press the fuel comot for the cloth, con put the cloth for ur nose, as u dey breath in naso e dey hi u, e go hi u pass igboh sef" Angom said. "guy u sure wetin u dey talk?" i inquired. "i sure na, we dey do am for benue wen igboh no dey, one day i go show u how e dey be" Angom promised.

"dis una igboh sef, how e dey sweet una sef?" Sammy asked. "oboy, na the sweetest thing oh" Ilorin said. "na the sweetest thing oh, but only say t'oto sweet pass am, u wan taste am?" i said offering Sammy the Jumbo i was smoking. "make i taste the thing sef" Sammy said, reluctantly, he took the weed from me.

Kelvin was about saying something to make Sammy stop, but it was too late. Sammy had already dragged in and puffed out. "Sammy!! Sammy!! Sammy!!" we cheered. As he puffed out, he coughed. Ilorin, Angom and Myself were still cheering but Kelvin frowned at our mischief. The smoke was choking him. "see person wey say him hate Igboh, Igboh go show am pepper today" i tot. He dragged in again, this time shouting, "yeeeeeeh!!". I saw his eyes shuting, i tot he would run mad soon as he continously shook his head. "maybe him want make the Igboh diggest well well for him brain nahim make him dey shake him head" i tot. He was enjoying it because i could see him smiling, or was it the igboh spirit in him that ordered him to smile against his own wish?. He dragged in for the third time and ...................... He passed out.

don ifez: Guy mehn we dey feel ur story here 4 ghana ooh,any time guys wan laugh...na nairaland tins.

chaaaaarley!! How ghana na?

"Angom, shebi u been say if u see sugar mummy, u go rush am?" i asked Angom as we were smoking in Angom's room two days later. "ehen na, u don see sugar Mummy for me?" he inquired.

"i don see, but u fit perform?" i asked, "Flow why u dey ask dis kin question na, u no know say any benue pekin must sabi perform? Me na original benue pekin like Tuface na" he added. "guy, tommorow, i go carry u go see somebody, but u go dey give me my cut when the money begin dey come, u hear?". I said. "i go dey give u na, kai ibo boys!! una too like money" he said. "benue boys una no like money!! Ehen no tell anybody oh, na only u i wan involve for dis tin. Ilorin no be fine boy and him no even sabi perform sef" i said. "hahahahaha!!! U too funny oh, what of Kelvin and Sammy na?" Angom asked. "them no get mind na" i reponded and we laughed.

I went outside to play table tennis with others. "Ilorin, u know say Ojiga don come back from police station?" Sammy said, "ehennn!!, who bail am na?" Ilorin asked. "na Mama Alhaja na" Sammy responded. "guy we need to dey careful with our things oh, Ojiga na serious thief" i added.

Soon, i lost interest in the table tennis so i told Kelvin to go bring his Chess board for both of us to play. Ilorin and Sammy were playing table tennis while me and Kelvin concentrated on Chess game.

The four of us paused at the same time when we saw a drop dead angel catwalking. "chei!!!! Ilorin eeeeeh!! This one na Mammy water eeeeeh!!!" i said with my mouth wide open. "No be small thing oh, nkà wu ólùgbajié boys eeeeh" Sammy spoke in Ibo. "i go go chyke am" Kelvin said suddenly.

"no go, she go fall ur hand, u no even dress well sef, na only boxers u wear oh" i cautioned. "abeg e no mean, i go go jor" Kelvin said as he walked up to the lady. I knew he would mess up, so i drew closer in other to hear their conversation. I was hiding by a wall, so they couldn't see me.

"Hello babe, my name is Kelvin, what of u?" he asked, "am Bimbo" the lady responded. "ok Bimbo, Do u from this location? Does u have a phone?" he fired from his arsenal of grammatical blunders.

I did my best not to laugh. But, i burst into heavy laughter when he finally said ..................................... "Bimbo i will calling u tommorow".

kwangi: I'm not really suggesting anything.
Just pointing out the down side of the thread making it to the front page. Can you manage the attention?
It's your choice to make. Anyways i think more subscribers would be really nice.

p

ok. Can u help me suggest the story to the moderator? Am finding it difficult to do so.

kwangi: ^^Bro, your thread risk serious derailment if put it gets to the front page!
But if that's what you want...

so what do u suggest?

Foxy eeeeh! Where u dey oooh!! U don do wetin i say make u do?

The old looking Blue angels hotel was very colourful that evening, with beautiful ladies walking to and fro, i noticed practically all of them were putting on Blue clothes. Some young men were also there but they weren't putting on blue.

Just then, i saw someone. I saw Tobi; Omolade's boyfriend or rather Omolade's ex-boyfriend with someone that looked like Ronke; Ireti's friend. Yes, it was Ronke. They were walking hand in hand like lovers.

"abi Tobi nahim be Ronke sugar boy? Chai!! So na Tobi dey chop dis sweet Ronke" i said to myself. I waved at Ronke, and she waved back. On seeing that, Tobi gave me a "u wan die abi?" look, while i gave him a "bros, na u be chairman oh" look in return. He was asking Ronke something, i guess was: "do u know that big headed boy?" as they walked upstairs. I looked away to prevent my eyes from seeing the dreadful face of Tobi any further.

I called Ireti to inform her i was around, she told me to come and meet her in the famous room 17.

As i walked down, i saw a lady fumbling with opening the door to a room while her lover was kissing her in the neck. This lady was also on blue. "why all dis women wear blue today na, dem dey do party?" i tot as i knocked at room 17.

"come in Ugo" Ireti said from inside. At that instant my d'ick stood at attention, i just couldn't tell why. "bros, behave urself na, i know say u get work to do, but just behave for now, when work wan start u go stand" i said to my d'ick.

I opened the door and walked in with my d'ick still hard.

The first thing Ireti saw as i came in was my bulged d'ick. She grabbed me instantly and unclothed me.

I had strength to perform, i couldn't tell why. I f~ucked the living daylight out of her and she moaned loudly. "abi na the Monkey tail wey i drink?" i asked myself as i rammed into her from behind to begin the "fourth round".

Ireti gave me money, i weighed the pile of money with my hand and assumed it soundn't be less than 30k.

I asked Ireti why all the ladies were putting on blue, and she said, "u see Ugo, i knew i would definately tell u dis someday, well, that day is today, ehnnnn, Blue angels is the name of our female club, it is not a cult but a club for divorcee and widows." she pulsed for a while and continued, "we gather, not to harm anyone, but to help ourselves, those of us that needs sugar boys, they get hooked up by others". "ok, i can see where the name of this hotel was coined from" i said. "yeah, Ronke; the owner of this hotel is our president, and i am her vice, we meet here every Tuesday, that is today, our colour is blue" she added.

"Ugo i would like to give a task to u" Ireti said. "whats the task, u know i can do anything for u" i said. "ehnn, we just welcomed new members to the club today, and some of them needs sugar boys, i would like u to hook them up with fine young men that are ur friends, of course u know these young men must be able to perform well, like u" she said touching my hard d'ick. "ok i would do my best" i assured. "thank u, thats why i love u" she said.

I told her i knew Tobi; Ronke's Lover and she insisted she would go introduce me to Him. I put on my cloth, so did Ireti, we left room 17, and yet my d'ick was still hard.

Ireti practically berged on Ronke. We met Ronke and Tobi n'aked. "see as dis one p'rick small, nahim him wan burn my own for fire that day" i almost spoke out as i stared at Tobi's d'ick.

As i gave Tobi a handshake of friendship, he smiled, and for the first time i saw his gap teeth. We had become friends, or so i tot.

"Ilorin where u dey go?" i inquired as i saw him going out of the compound. "i wan go drink Monkey tail, e be like say i get waist pain" he responded. I left the table tennis i was playing and joined him. If Monkey tail was to relieve pains, then i sure needed it, because i could still feel the pains of the heavy beating i recieved the other day.

Monkey tail is a herbal mixture that is very alcoholic. I had tried it once. It works wonders in relieving waist pain.

"mama Ade abeg give me 3 short" Ilorin ordered. Mama Ade gave him the 3 shorts, and he drank it with all dexterity. "Mama Ade, give me 4 short" i ordered trying to outshine Ilorin because his eyeh brothers were there.

As i drank two sips from the big cup Mama Ade used to serve me, something happened. Mama Ade's monkey tail seems more alcoholic than the one i had drank before.

It was very hot. As it ran down my throat, i tot my throat was melting. "make i no fall my hand oh, make i drink dis monkey tail finish oh" i said to myself as i drank more. I took a quick glimpse at Ilorin and he urged me to drink up. As i drank more, i could feel something inside as if a "Volcano was erupting" in my stomach. Inside of me was as hot as "Molten Magma".

"Mama Ade, abeg come take this your cup, i no fit finish the Monkey tail wey dey inside" i almost cried out. My eyes were spinning. Profused sweat were goshing out of my body. "make we dey go Flow" Ilorin said after paying for the drink. One thing about me is that anytime i drank alcohol, it would seem as if i had suddenly become a cripple. So i looked at my legs to confirm if it was still there. It was there.

I developed a new walking step. I walked as if i was wearing a "Timberland" shoe when i was only putting on a leather sandal. "why u dey waka like dis na?" Ilorin asked. "ehnnn, u say?" i queried because i couldn't get what he asked, or was it that the Monkey tail had blocked my eardrum?. "i say why u dey waka like dis?" he asked again as my eardrum were now open. "i wan learn how to waka like big man na" i responded and he giggled.

My phone rang, it was Ireti. Initially i tot i saw "eti", (without the "i" and "r" as the caller, or was it that the Monkey tail made me momentarily long sighted?

Ireti wanted me to come to Blue angels hotel. I knew it was time for "serious business".

Legend has it that Monkey tail enhances L'ibido. So i was fully ready for the task ahead.

[quote author=Foxy_Rebirth]Go to the complaints thread and post the link of your story and ask Cuddlemii to submit it to be moved to the front page


https://www.nairaland.com/983531/literature-writing-complaints-thread/6

This is the link to it[/quote]Foxy pls do me a favour, can you suggest it to Cuddlemii. Am finding it difficult. Pls do it for me. Just like Damex has suggested "barack boy". @DAMEX, Thanks

Dear Nairalanders,
i would like the fun we are enjoying here get to others. Pls how do i go about making this thread hit frontpage? Thanks

[quote author=Foxy_Rebirth]Flow, think about it.. Ask for this thread to be moved to the front page, its gonna be lots of fun...

Pleasssseeee [/quote]Foxy pls how do i go about it?