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maesha08: Which kind prayer she com do wey ur d*i*c*k go down sharply like dah

na heavy prayer oh

Friday came, and the only special thing that happened was that Juliet came, we had s'ex, she emptied my wallet and left.

Saturday, nothing special, just that i recieved a text message from the church informing me of the workers training that would commence the next day.

Sunday; the workers training started by 7am. The pastor that was teaching us said, "u see if u must be a worker, u should flee from sin. You must not drink, you must not smoke, u must not womanize, all these are worldly things" "this pastor dey talk about me oh, i dey do all these things oh, u sure say dem no dey follow me from Village?" i tot.

The main service started, i saw Dami and her Mum seated at a corner, i waved at them and they waved back. Soon the service was over, i was happy, not knowing i was going to face another service or rather sermon at home.

I got home, prepared food and ate. I was about laying my bed to take a nap when i heard a knock on my door. "Ilorin i don tell u say my igboh done finish, go ask Angom him go get" i said thinking it was Ilorin. The door was open so the person knocking came in. She was a beautiful angel, a beautiful angel holding a bible "who is Ilorin?" "what is igboh?" she asked at the same time.

"ehnnnn Ilorin is my Next door neighbour, ehnnnn igboh is a type of shoe polish. Ilorin actually wanted me to give him my shoe polish" i told a big fat lie. "seat down pls" i said as i could now see she was a Jehovah's Witness Preacher that came for their usual sunday house to house preaching.

She is the prettiest female preacher i had ever seen. She had a big a'ss, the biggest i had ever seen after Ireti's. I couldn't tell the kind of devil that made me keep my eyes continously focused on her a'ss as she stood staring at my room. My d'ick couldn't help but rise, rise real hard. I was putting on just boxers short, the boxers didn't help matters, it made matters worse.

The lady who told me her name was Tola continued preaching as i tried my possible best for her not to see my standing d'ick. But its seems my best wasn't good enough as her topic was in line with what was happening to me. LUSTFUL DESIRE was her topic. "abi she don see my p'rick wey stand?" i asked myself. 20minutes and my d'ick was still up, "wetin dey happen na, why my p'rick go stand up like dis, e no gree go down since, which kin wahala be dis na" i tot.

25minutes and still my d'ick was as hard as rock. "bros abeg go down na" i almost said as i drew my bed sheet to cover it. "is anything the problem?" sister Tola asked. "no Ma, sorry sister" i responded. "is there a problem?" she asked again with a funny look on her face. "no ehnnn Yes, i need prayers, i need prayers ooooooh" i cried.

"stand up and lets pray" she said, "no, why don't you bend down and pray for me, i can't stand, i have serious pains on my both legs, pls oh bend down ooooh!!!" i cried out in jitters.

40minutes and my d'ick was not only still up but was hurting me now. She prayed for me and immediately i said........................ AMEN, my d'ick went back to normal, i was healed.

Josphine4good: Flow the drunker where are u

Josphine my love, i dey oh

That night, after taking my bath i couldn't sleep in my room because it looked scary, so i slept in Ilorin's room.

As i walked to sch alone that morning, i heard "Ugo! Ugo!! Ugo!!" someone was calling, i turned and saw Omolade.

"Ugo, how are u today? hope u are not angry over what happened yesterday?" she inquired. I looked at her face and noticed the most beautiful Omolade has turned to a masquerade over night, i was scared of her. "pls leave me alone, i no wan die young abeg" i said, "what do mean by that?" she asked. "i mean, i am no more interested in you, your boyfriend is an animal in human skin, he almost c'astrated me" i said angrily. "u see am no more interested in you, read my lips, lets say i was just joking asking u out" i added and walked out on her. From the corner of my eyes i could see she was shocked at the way i spoke to her.

School was hectic that day, coupled with the fact that there were pains all over my body. I told Kehinde she should commence her evening coaching that evening.

I got home, searched for the Tupac song that would console me of my troubles. The song was "Unborn child" so i replayed it like 100times while trying to think if i would really make a right choice of a mother for my unborn child.

"abi na Dami; that one na Yoruba girl, she no sabi cook, na oil-oil soup i go dey chop". "abi na Ireti; make that one use t'oto kill me? God forbid". "abi na Kehinde; that one na small girl na". "abi na Omolade; God forbid bad thing, even if she put gun for my head say make i marry her, i go tell her to shot me the gun". "Abi na Juliet; that one like money oh, but i fit manage her sha". i was lost in my tots when a knock at my door brought me back to reality.

"Ugo pls, lemme explain, i don't love that buly of a guy anymore, pls!! pls!!" Omolade said as she entered my room.

"how did u locate my room?" i asked "i asked a guy outside" she responded. "i go kill Ilorin today, shebi na him show dis girl my room" i tot. "Pls, if Tobi did anything to u, forgive him, i already told him i am no more interested in the relationship" She added. "pls, u are putting me in great risk by coming here, Tobi, ur boyfriend might have spies on me, pls u have to leave" I said gesturing to the door. She reluctantly turned to leave. She carried a look that says: "dis is not the last u would hear from me", while i carried a look that says: "go to hell". I watched her leave and watched Kehinde walked in for her coaching.

"Flow make una dey come legendary bar na, me and Sammy dey there, make una dey come quick we don dey shayoh oh" "see us dey come". That was a phone conversation between me and Angom.

"see wetin woman don cause me, shey dem swear for me? Abi na my fine boy dey decieve me" i was lost in my thoughts while we waited to board a bike to Legendary bar. I could feel serious pains in my solar plexus caused by the heavy punches i recieved. Just when i said i wanted no more disturbance from females. My phone rang, a female called.

It was my Mum. She was asking me how i was enjoying Ilesa, she inquired if i had no problems, i almost told her i had a "trailer load of problems". I told her to always pray for me, a prayer i was sure would be answered by God.

We got to the bar in no time to meet a big round table of six guys, we joined them to make it eight. As we drank, i suddenly noticed that two of the guys were talking to themselves with baggar's slang. "dem fit be baggar oh" i tot. I stood up and whispered to the ears of one of them to excuse me, that i wanted to talk to him. I walked to the backyard of the bar where they sold weed. I ordered for two jumbo wraps of weed. I was already smoking mine when the guy came, i offered him the other wrap, he collected it and said, "ehen! Wetin be dat? wetin u wan yan with me?", "Elele ti elele!!! I be ur brother oh, i be XYZ Flow, what of u?" i asked as i extended my hands for a handshake, "correct man!!! My name na Bad Pekin, i dey OAU, Aro mate!!!" he hailed as he "anchored" me in place of a handshake. I told him what i had been through in the hands of those eyeh boys, he asked if i wanted him to organise some boys that would deal with the eyeh boys. I told him the time was not ripe yet, that if they crossed my path again then i would fight back. "Aro MATE, we be their MATE?!!!!" He hailed. "How ordinary Eyeh boys go dey cook jellof rice for u, abi na because ur brodas no dey around? Eyeh no get mouth for OAU na" he said. To "cook jellof rice" is a slang in baggar that means to beat someone blue black. We exchanged contacts, and i promised to always keep in touch. I let out a puff of relief of the weed i was smoking.

As we went to join others drinking, he introduced me to his other friend that was also a baggar. We drank different expensive drinks ranging from Henessey to red label to Don simon to Baron de romero to even the dreaded ALOMO.

10pm, and it was time to go home. I knew i was going to throw up, because i made sure i had a taste of all drinks that was served. In my head, there was this Tick-tock sound i was hearing, it was as if there was a clock in my brain.

We walked home because it was late and we couldn't get a bike. As we walked i felt my legs were heavy. I was walking like i was in outer space, and.............................. "gbaaaaoooooom" i landed in a nearby gutter.

simplifier: Flow do this thing quick na

i go do quick, but na now d thing begin sweet me oh, u say make i comot am?

Josphine4good: I love your story and I love u

i love u too, how e go be na?

I woke up the next morning blasting Tupac--"better days" from my sound system, i was sure that day would be "better" than the previous day, or so i tot.

It was a thursday; our CDS day, so we didn't go to sch. I prepared for CDS and left to the secretariat with my guys. I was a member of FRSC CDS group. After our Local government inspector had his usual 30minutes talk with us, our CDS President a.k.a Cadet in chief told us we would be going to do traffic control at Ilesa round about.

We all got to the round about and i was to control the traffic of a road that whoever was driving from my street to the round about would most definately follow.

"eeeh!! You hold on there, eeeh!! u move" i was giving command to road users. Just then, a Toyota Camry 2.2 was driving towards me at a high speed. I gave a sign for the car to stop, it didn't stop but moved towards my direction wanting to knock me down. As it came closer, i was trying to decide which way to fall; by my right or by my left. Either ways, i was going to die, but the right side was a better way to die because the car would not roll over my body after knocking me down. "is the driver of this car drunk?" i tot to myself.

The car screeched to a halt about 10cm from where i stood; very close. I died for 10 seconds and ressurected.

"are u crazy?" i shouted. "yeah!! Am crazy, crazy for u" the person driving said bringing her head out of the car for me to see. The person driving was Ireti, Ireti and her friend Ronke. "haba!!! Ireti what kind of expensive joke is this? U almost knocked me off", "common!!! I can't knock u off darling Ugo, i just wanted to scare u a bit" Ireti said as they both burst into laughter. I gave way for them and they drove off still laughing. "una wan kill me abi, una dey laf abi? If i die who go satisfy una for bed?" i said after they had gone.

I played table tennis with my guys for like and hour that evening. I was tired of being beaten in the game, so i went straight to my room to watch a black American movie, Ilorin soon joined me.

We watched the movie into the night. I prepared food, we ate and continued watching. When i suddenly had a big b'ang on my door.

"who be dat? U wan break the door?" Ilorin shouted. "if u no come open dis door, we go break am" a bass voice responded. My brain was sharp enough to know it was pay back time. It was the guy on dreadlock.

I tot of jumping through the window, but it was too late, as Ilorin had already opened the door. "wey that boy wey wan collect my babe? See am there, make una go show am pepper" the guy on dreadlocks ordered his friends. They dragged me like i was rag, "gba! Gba! Gbe! Gba! Gbo! Gbo!" they gave me hard punches. "bros make u no vex abeg i no know say na ur babe oh" i said as i saw blood dripped out of the corner of my mouth. "but i catch u as u wan arrange her for outside na, dis boy u too dey enter my trap oh, dis na the second time now, make una bring am make i burn him p'rick with this ligther" the ordered. His two friends dragged me to him and removed my trouser and boxers to reveal my D'ick. As he put on the lighter i saw green colour of fire coming out of the lighter in place of the usual yellow colour, or was it that my eyes were failing me considering the fact that i had been beaten to stupor? "dis ur p'rick big ooh" he said bringing the already on lighter closer to my D'ick................................ Ilorin stood up from where he was lying facing the floor and said, "eyeh brodas!! Omo blue!! make una forgive am, him no go do am again, abeg, abeg, him na my padi". They must have recognised him as the guy that pleaded on my behalf the other day. "na ur padi ehn, warn am oh, warn am make him no come near my babe oh, if not, next time we go use him p'rick do suya" the dreadlock guy said as his friends freed me. I was saved by the bell. I almost lost my most precious d'ick. Ilorin saved me, for the second time.

[quote author=Foxy_Rebirth]You see wetin I dey talk when I tell you to stop to dey smoke igbo with me. Your head never reach to carry am, you don ever see black girl orisisi wey fair. Come, igbo smokers are liable to loss of memory.... Adjust to smoke 10 wraps per day cos that 20 wraps dey eff you up...[/quote]how u take know say her "orisisi" dey black? u don enter there before?

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who be this one? U smoke weed? Have u made money urself?

Foxy my man!!!

Yungbitz: hahahahaha...u 4 wait na...lols...hussein flow on the run

bone oh! If usian bolt run with me for that kin situation ehn, him no go see my back.

Omoh ehn, na to burst toilet door na. Superman tins na. Hahahahaha

IZUKWU: Flow, u no well @ all

i no well na, i don kolo e remain to enter road

As we walked back home from sch, Angom said, "e get one of my benue brother wey go celebrate him birthday tommorow oh, the guy na yahoo guy, him say na for Legendary bar him go celebrate am". "ehenn!! e get one day wey i go that bar go drink, e make sense oh, e fine wella, dem dey smoke weed for the back sef" I said. "correct!! We go reach there tommorow na" Ilorin added. As we continued walking, i saw a place where dirts were hipped, i removed the p'anties from my pocket and threw it away without any of my guys noticing.

We played table tennis as we got home. It seems i was the worst player amongst my friends because they kept winning me. While i was seated waiting for my turn to play, i tot of calling Omolade. I did call her and thanked her for the role she played in the returning of the money to my account. I told her i would like the both of us to talk physically, that i wanted to tell her something important, she told me to come to her house that she just came back from work and was seating alone outside.

I left my guys playing table tennis and headed straight to her house. Soon i was there, she was seating on a bench. I quickly joined her and said, "hey!! Angel, this isn't heaven, go back to heaven, thats the place for angels like u". She giggled and said, "thank u Ugo". I went straight to the point and told her how she was driving me crazy. All she told me was that she had a boyfriend. I told her that wasn't a problem, that i don't mind being her number 2 man. We talked about so many other things for like an hour as day was gradually turning to night. I glanced at my wrist watch, it was past 7.

I drew closer to her and placed my right hand on her both hands. I moved my right hand from her hands to her fresh l'aps, she didn't complain. I was moving my hands gradually upwards, yet she didn't complain but giggled. "abi she dey enjoy am?" i asked myself. I was almost getting to the "destination point" when her phone rang. I quickly removed my right hand and adjusted myself.

"which kin bad belle phone call be dis!!" i tot as she recieved her call speaking Yoruba.

"my boyfriend is coming here now" she said after recieving the call. I didn't believe her, i tot she wanted to scare me away, so i continued, this time gradually f'ondling her b'reast. It was dark so nobody could see us. I could tell she was enjoying it, because she never wanted me to stop. But she kept telling me her boyfriend was coming and i didn't listen. I tot she was joking, "ur boyfriend dey come nahim u allow me dey do all dis things for ur body ehnnn" i tot.

Now with my right hand f'ondling her b'reast and my left hand heading to the "destination point" in between her legs, i drew closer. My d'ick was as hard as a rock, "if ur boyfriend like make e come now, i no go leave u because u don dey shark me like ogogoro" i tot. I was almost at the "destination point" when a car head-lamp suddenly came shinning on us changing darkness to light "who be dis one wey dey shine us light na?" i almost shouted. I abruptly stopped what i was doing as it was obvious the person in the car had already seen us. Someone came out of the car and walked towards us. I focused my eyes to see the person. Omolade was shaking like a Jelly fish. As the person came closer i could now see his face clearly, the face was familiar....................... It was the guy on dreadlock that collected my Man u Jersey the other day. My jaw dropped when the guy asked Omolade "who is dis big f'ool?" "na ur papa be big f'ool" i almost said. I knew at that moment that i was in soup, real big soup. I was taking steps backwards, One step! Two steps!! Three steps! Four steps!! Untill i had gathered enough mementum and...................... I ran.

Josphine4good: Flow your shit is smelling badly what did u eat

na beans and bread oh, the type wey lampard chop.

Josphine4good: Flow where are u

i go s'hit for bush. Btw dis one wey u and dayleke dey talk weda ur friends na Nigerian, u dey Jand?

Josphine4good: Flow u are so funny ,am enjoying your story with my friends. Keep it up

thanks, pls say hello to ur friends.

The next day, i prepared for sch, it was a bit dark in my room that morning. After i had finished taking my bath, i put on my clothes and took my blue handkerchief from below the wardrobe; where i usually keep all my handkerchiefs. I didn't even look at what i took, i just put it straight into my pocket Not knowing that the handkerchief would cause me real sorrow that day.

Sammy stayed at home to nurse the wounds in his body, while the rest of us headed to school.

I had class that day. The bell was rang for second period; my period. I walked into the class confidently not knowing i would walk out of the same class in shame.

The topic was GRAVITATIONAL FORCE. I started by defining gravitation force. Then i said, "u see class, what ever goes up must come down, that is the universal law of gravitation". I wanted to demonstrate the law, so i brought out my handkerchief from my pocket.

I threw the handkerchief up and the whole class watched it as gravity pulled it down. Some students were laughing, "why are u laughing? am teaching and u are laughing, stand up u!!" i pointed at Olu who was still laughing. At this moment the handkerchief was already on the floor.


"sir!! See!!" Olu said pointing to the handkerchief on the floor. I looked and saw that the handkerchief i threw up did not only obey gravity but changed to something else .............................. A blue p'anties.

I tot i was dreaming. My legs were shaking. I tried putting my brain to work but the power supply in my brain was off. The whole students in class were now laughing and cheering as i could hear some of them saying "kpátá nlà". I didn't know if i should join them to laugh or i should start crying.

The power supply in my brain came back on and i could put my brain to work to recall that Juliet threw her p'anties at the place all my handkerchiefs were the last time we had s'ex "women na big problem oh, so she no wear p'ant go house that day?" i tot as i quickly grabed the the handkerchief or rather p'anties and fumbled to put it back to my pocket.

mysticgal: FLOW BEHAVE NA,

Wetin na? u sef behave na, make i ENTER the place na

@foxy, remember say no be walk u dey walk to the valley of shadow of death, na keke u dey drive, and u know say keke no get reverse. Hahahahahaha Greet my groundpapa for me oh.
*foxy na play oh*

HotNaijaBabe: Good morning flow, I left my work to see if u have updated but u have not. Tell me, what can I use to bribe you to make you update more often?

simple!! Make i shine ur congo. :-D

HotNaijaBabe: Good morning flow, I left my work to see if u have updated but u have not. Tell me, what can I use to bribe you to make you update more often?

simple!! Make i shine ur congo. :-D

Mr Foxy, u dey go there go drink beer with satan be dat oh. Hahahahaha

valboy20: Abeg no mind all dis pple wey dey form ajebo for us....enter bush, e plenty for bush wel wel...mistakenly touch ur body...den ur name wil b sorry...@flow, una baddoo....m stil reppin p.barrack

which barrack u represent? Me represent the biggest barrack in West Africa. Ojo

Any body wey no know wetin devil beans be, dat means that person no grow for ghetto, so una dey form ajebutter, abi?. Devil beans wey we dey put for people wey dey fight body during break time for primary sch.;-) where all the Barracks boys wey dey here oh!!! make una come yan dem wetin devil beans be oh.B-)B-)B-)

HotNaijaBabe: Lol
Wicked boys.. I haven't come across thar kinda beans before oh!

#Flow.. These are the answers to Ur questions:
1. Naija
2. Yesno
3. Yesno

Hope I answered correctly!

Hotnaijababe, u no wan answer me abi, if u don Marry, just know say i go come kidnap ur husband for one nite and spend one nite wit u. But if u are not married, then am lucky. But if u wohwoh!! I go just run like usain bolt.

IZUKWU: this one na jamb question. Am also interested in the answer.

abi oh, u know say some nairaland babes go use fine name as their username and dem no fine. Imagine say Hotnaijababe con get K-leg for real life. Shey na hot be dat? *Hotnaijababe na play oh*

We played table tennis that evening. Ilorin played better than all of us. Some "eyeh" boys came to join us, and that was the beginning of gamble. Not that i never had the money to gamble, but its just that i hated gamble. We all left leaving Ilorin to gamble with his "brothers".

Angom and I was smoking in his room when a mischievous idea droped in my brain. "Angom make we put devil beans for Sammy Water wey dey outside, him wan go baf. So we go do am back for wetin him and him babe do us today" i suggested. Devil beans is a seed that looks like beans, but bigger, it has an outer body that looks hairy, the plant that produces the seed grows as a weed in bushes(i no know weda na devil beans be the English name oh, anybody wey know d name make e help us). I remembered that Devil beans grew much in barracks when i was younger. When the hairy part of the beans comes in contact with your skin, u will scratch your skin for like 2hours non-stop, unless u apply palm oil to the affected area before it would stop itching. "yes oh, na good idea oh, him go hear am, shebi him and him babe pour pepper for our eye" Angom said. Angom stood up, put a nylon bag on his hands so as to prevent the devil beans from affecting his hands. He left the room to go fetch the devil beans at the backyard where the plant grew.

I was left alone in his room laughing like a Jackass thinking how the devil beans would make Sammy dance "Makosa". I was laughing because of so many things like; the fact that Suliat was still around, and that Sammy just wanted to take his bath and see her off.

Angom came back to the room and met me still laughing. "i don put am for the water wey him wan take baf" Angom said. "correct!! Hope say him no see u oh, hope say u put plenty oh?" i asked. "i put plenty na, him no see me na" Angom replied, i believed him because he was good at mischief.

I heard Sammy's footsteps as he walked to the bathroom. 15 minutes and we didn't hear the expected scream. 20 minutes, and i heard, "chineke meeeeeeeeeh!!! I don die oh!!". I laughed initially but Angom told me not to laugh that when Suliet is Gone, we would tell him we were the "Two devils that added devil beans" to his bath water.

We rushed out and saw Sammy ran out of the bathroom naked scratching his skin with both hands and dancing not only "Makosa" but "Alanta". He ran to the edge of a wall and was making use of it to scratch his itchy back. He used one of his hands to cover his d'ick, "wetin u dey cover ur p'rick for, no woman dey here na, na only Suliat ur babe nahim be woman na, she don she u n'aked na" i tot as Angom helped Sammy scratch his body. Just then, i saw Suliat sneak out and ran out of our compound. "u dey run, u for wait na?" i tot. "Flow bring oil oh" Angom shouted. I went into my room, brought what was left of the Oil Dami used earlier and pour it on Sammy.

HotNaijaBabe: Lol.. Yoruba indeed.. That's what they call oily-delight...

yeah thats what they call it, BTW i have 4 questions for u: 1. what tribe are u? 2. Are u married? 3. Are u really hot, like ur username says? 4. Answer 1,2,3 above sincerely.

"so naso Sammy want make we blind abi?" i said. "e be like say dem plan am oh, e be like say dem see us, dem com plan to pour us the soup oh" Angom said as we were watching a movie in my room. "i go do Sammy back, him never know me sef" i assured.

Just then, my phone vibrated, i checked it, it was a message from Oceanic bank, they had credited back my account with the 20k. I was very happy.

"Flow! Flow are u in!!" someone was knocking, it was Dami. She was smelling great. The smell of her perfume clouded the whole room. She quickly came to seat by my side and kissed me. Angom wasn't watching us, his eyes were glued to the Tv screen.

"I came to cook for u" she informed "ooh!! thats very kind of u" i said as i noticed she brought some things for cooking soup. Okro soup to be precise.

Dami was outside cooking while me and Angom continued watching "Merlin season 1", a movie i never liked but was just watching it because of Angom.

20minutes later Dami came in asking me for palm oil. As i gave her the "Eva water container full" of palm oil, she asked "why is ur eyes as red as this palm oil?" "ehn ehn ehn!! a fly flew into my eyes", i told her a lie of the century. My eyes were actually red in colour because of the effect of the Egusi soup Suliat poured on it, Angom's eyes was red also. Dami left to continue her cooking. "puuuuuuuuuu", a very loud fart came out of my a'nus "Flow why u mess?" Angom said in fury, "make i no mess? Abi mess get toilet? No be my house be dis" i responded. "uhnnnnnnnn!! Flow dis ur mess dey smell like dead body" Angom said with his hands on his nose. "na ur mess dey smell like dead body" i responded. Immediately, Dami entered.

"uhnnnnnnn!! What is smelling?" she queried. I saw from the corner of my eyes that Angom wanted to laugh, so i quickly winked at him and he didn't laugh. "maybe its those boys in the next compound smoking weed" i said another lie of the century that i knew Dami never believed. I stood up to increase my standing fan to reduce the odour.

I noticed that Dami used half of the Eva water container of palm oil on the soup while she kept the container in my cupboard. "so dis girl use dis kin plenty oil for only one soup? abi the oil pour for ground?" i asked myself.

15 munites later, the soup was ready. It was smelling great but it didn't look great. The soup was an ocean of palm oil. I didn't know where to start from, i saw from the corner of my eyes that Angom wanted to laugh, i winked at him for him not to laugh, he understood and smiled in place of laugh. As i took my first swallow, oil came rolling down my palm reaching my elbow. "is it delicious?" Dami asked. I smile and answered, "yes it is" and Dami smiled back. I noticed the ratio at which I and Angom ate was 4:1. That is, if i swallow four balls of Eba, he would swallow just one. I wasn't enjoying it, but i had to let Dami know the food was Delicious, even though it tasted like p'oo.

"but why Yoruba people dey like use plenty oil cook soup sef? No wonder Ibo people dey call them Yoruba, and better meat dey dis soup oh, see a Dami use oil spoil am" i tot as i saw that my Original BYC singlet has been stained with palm oil beyond recognition.